• Member Since 21st Aug, 2011
  • offline last seen 7 hours ago

Kaorin


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Comments ( 54 )

THIS REQUIRES A DRAMATIC READING!

Also, that was some labor-intensive literature there! Nicely done!

This is hard to rate. The premise is executed masterfully, which is almost an irritant, because I dislike the premise.

Ai, fine. Take your upvote, and your favorite too.

Well written with great characterization. But sadly the only thing that kept me reading was visualizing something more fulfilling than the actual ending. Simply not my cup of tea, but you have a definite talent for writing.

I find myself agreeing with 2902601

Though the premise irks me a fair bit, I can't actually find anything about this that isn't solidly done.
And I did catch myself grinning once or twice at Luna's more colourful internal complaints.

This reads like the first chapter to a longer epic about the Second Rise of the Diarchy:rainbowderp: Which is something you should write now.:raritystarry:

2902601
This. Masterful, even though the premise is disconcerting, and needs to be continued:twilightsmile:

Masterfully executed story. I found the premise an interesting take on how equestrian government evolves and how the royal sisters adapt to their new roles.
Would love to either see more to this story, or just more of your writing in general.

This was brilliantly executed. And a good idea kernel to start with. Excellent all around. :pinkiecrazy:

I really enjoyed this. It accomplishes so much in so little time. Luna's great, and fun, snarky characterization, a massive amount of world building despite the fact that you never left a single sound stage, seasoned with just the lightest hint of a potentially kingdom-spanning political conflict story that you could either delve into writing or leave just the way it is.

Bravissimo!

Good stuff. You executed the narration in a first-person story wonderfully. All of it felt like it was Luna narrating, and the story flowed together so much better as a result.

Discord is needed, do they still move the sun and moon?

2903124

THIS. The next chapter is called "Luna is Sick of this Shit."

Is the ad foreshadowing that Night Mare Moon will return?

Because even I wouldn't be as patient with these idiots as Luna is being.

This needs the Sad tag, too.

3425866

Luna: From Princess to "Trixie".

Great read! You must have put a lot of work into this, it is very well-thought out and written.

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2920007
Actually, I got the impression that this was Celestia doing the narrating, though I had my doubts until this line:

As though true moon beams could be so captured; though if it were possible, she could have done it.

But either way, a great read and somewhat chilling example of what could happen :pinkiehappy:

So... This was an... interesting story. To be clear, I never had an intention of downvoting it; it is, I think, a well-done piece, and I do not think I am the sort to downvote things merely because they aren't my cup of tea. Indeed, I spent some minutes trying to upvote it, but I have not been able to bring myself to. To my great surprise, you see, I found the premise of the story viscerally repulsive. I suspect that a large part of it comes from my general dislike of advertising, so to see a living goddess co-empress-in-all-but-name not merely reduced but reduced to... this... Ugh! I've also rewritten my comment several times and indeed gone back and forth on whether to leave a comment at all, but I feel that this story has had too strong an impact for me to not say something. So… here's that something. I'm not sure exactly what you did, but, since I think you probably meant to do at least something like it, well done.
Sorry if this is slightly incoherent; my emotions are still in a somewhat confused state.

edit:
I mean, it can't be just that the Princesses have been so reduced. We don't even know what they were like when they were in charge in this universe. This could be one where they were nearly powerless, or where they were incompetent. There are other universes, other stories, where I'm among those supporting the fall of one or both of the Princesses, sometimes even by violent revolution and death. I clearly don't have a problem with them simply not being on top.
In general… I think a lot of it may be the lack of respect here. As presented in this story, they don't seem to even be figureheads (even though they were called that at one point). There was no revolution, no grand "You are incompetent, get out" moment, no great catastrophe, no tyranny ending in exile… they were just… quietly rendered no more, and possibly less, than any random pony off the street.
And I'm pretty sure that a big part of it is the advertisement thing. If they had just retired to a quiet cottage somewhere, well, there'd be some sadness for things lost, but to be used like this…
…Anyway. I have some other things to do tonight, and I think that I'd likely just be repeating myself if I said more here. I'll just congratulate you, again, on producing such a strong emotional response in me.

edit 2:
And actually, before I go, I think that I will upvote it. It's been long enough that I've been able to sufficiently untangle my conscious appreciation of the quality of the story from my emotional reaction to the content of the story.

Well this was very impressive, if extremely depressing.

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

I kinda wanted this to be a fake-out, for the narrator to be Twilight referring to Cadance as "Sister". But I think it would've been a harder sell, no pun intended.

Gotta ask about the spelling of "Ai", though. That just bothered me for no good reason.

Man I love this story. I love the whole concept of the sisters gradually being edged out of government, slowly, politely, with no blows or harsh words spoken, and then one day Celestia and Luna look up from their townhouse or whatever and realize that despite their protestations lo these many centuries, they actually do like the attention and the fawning of ordinary ponies, and they feel compelled to do whatever it takes to get themselves into the spotlight. I'd love to see a companion chapter to this with whatever Celestia is doing, maybe starring in direct-to-tv movies or something.

Wow... This was outstanding. Nothing short of brillant in both execution and premise. Ignore folks who get butthurt over the premise – they have no imagination nor appreciation for these finer things. This was beautiful - and hilarious.

I also enjoyed your RCL interview – it was very insightful and you sound like Luna there! You've fantastically caught her voice!

Also, you may want to check out fellow RCL-featured author GaPJaxie's story Intern. I think you would enjoy it as it shares a similar premise with Selling Out

All I have to say is...this was awesome.
Sometimes, more often than I like to admit, I think what will the princesses be doing in the far future, today I got my answer.
It's hard to see how after ruling most, if not all, ponykind Luna ended up advertising, using old memories and say things like "Even though the night won't last forever."
I feel a little sad, but I enjoyed the story.

I am most impressed! Bravo! :applecry:

I'm not fond of the premise either, as 2902601 stated.

However, I cannot deny that this was masterfully written. You've done a marvelous job here, Kaorin. :twilightsmile: You've weaved an entire world, complete with all of its problems, without leaving the the set for an advert. I adored your characterization of (former) Princess Luna, and found myself chuckling a bit at her rather colorful remarks regarding the other ponies.

I had to face palm at the premise. What are these two doing advertising products? Surely they own companies and don't need to shill for them? I would think the skills and connections of a ruler would translate over to that of a CEO fairly well. If nothing else, I'm sure they can underbid whoever else is raising the sun and moon these days and have a respectable cash flow that way.

That said, it's very finely written. I've got not problems with the author's wordcraft.

"So why don't you join the thousands of happy peppy ponies and get a great big bottle of VitaMitoChloridians today! That's Vita--Mito--Chloridians!"

6283848

Finer things you say? Part of the reason why I love mlp so much is because it seems to be without the trappings of a modern society. After all, that's what we have in the states.

And look what we do with it. The Princesses' idea of a monarchy is a good one, because they really care.

And no matter how well-written this is- and it was superb -I can't imagine that Twilight would have ever condoned them sidelining the Princesses in this fashion.

Nor do I like the premise that the girls are once again dead and gone; what IS it with people in this fandom saying that they're gonna die? We can't even say that's canon, cause the show hasn't got that far yet.

I can't really fault the writing, which is good, but I find the premise of two immortals that have ruled since time immemorial suddenly being chucked from power and reduced to doing commercials for a living to be laughable and stupid.

6294166

Part of the reason why I love mlp so much is because it seems to be without the trappings of a modern society

Me too. And one aspect of fanfiction is to play with those ideas and generate interesting stories out if them. If you want the show, go watch the show, or read authors who write in a show like style – I'd recommend 8686's Eclipse, another RCL feature.

I can't imagine that Twilight would have ever condoned them sidelining the Princesses in this fashion.

I can, and it makes a lot of sense that ponies, like people, would like to be ruled by one of their own. After all, if it's what the populace wants, how could the royal sisters deny them while still serving them well? Ruling a populace that doesn't want you there is the basically the definition of a tyrant dictator. So as Equestria becomes more technological and more educated, they are likely to become more democratic, which would lead to the royal sisters having to make a decision: retire or become the villain. Like you said, they do really care, so what would you see them choosing? Intern does a fantastic job of selling it, so check that out if you want.

Nor do I like the premise that the girls are once again dead and gone; what IS it with people in this fandom saying that they're gonna die? We can't even say that's canon, cause the show hasn't got that far yet.

Well McCarthy did say in a tweet that Twilight is still mortal, so there's some word of god there.

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two immortals that have ruled since time immemorial

Not exactly – have you seen the Hearths Warming Eve episode? The ponydom seems to have a pretty good memory of times before the royal sisters. Also, the story goes into pretty good detail on how Luna has many more reasons than just "the Paycheck" to be doing the commercial.

6251631 "Ai" is an alternate spelling of "Ay", which (aside from itself being an alternative spelling of "aye", meaning "yes") is not a true word in English but an onomatopoeia for a sound of irritation, frustration, annoyance, and/or disgust. It may (may, mind you; it may be older than the possible origin listed after here, or may not even be associated woth this origin at all) take itself from the Mexican word "ay!", which means something along the lines of "oh!"
It may be a bit more familiar in the form of seeing someone facepalm and say, "Ay-yi-yi..." after seeing their dog has taken a crap on the kitchen floor.

I HATE this story.

I HATE what has been done to the Princesses.

I HATE the way they are treated.

And because you have made me feel such visceral hatred, this is upvoted, favorited, and you are now followed.

Honestly, my only real-world issue with this is the fact that a bunch of ponies with a propensity to stampede from a rampaging horde of bunny rabbits think that they can run their own country without their physical goddesses to actually get things done; I am of the firm opinion that Celestia and Luna NEED to be the rulers of Equestria, if only for the fact that they are (at least in Celestia's case) guaranteed to be kind, wise, and benevolent, whereas eventually the populace will elect someone like Blueblood, who is more talk than action and/or not someone woth the country's best interests at heart.

Long Live the Diarchy of the Heavens.

Excellent job, and well done.

6295046

Well McCarthy did say in a tweet that Twilight is still mortal, so there's some word of god there.

That's... Not quite what she said. Many people have interpreted it that way, but there's several ways to interpret what she said.

6294040 I have now headcanoned that the House of Windsor is waiting for tens of thousands of years to pass and civilization to collapse and rise from the ashes so they can rule once more.
5028955 As others have said: author, you managed to pass on Luna's snark and contempt for the society she lives in.

Of course, unlike most of the other people apparently commenting here, I like democracy. Not so much on the commercialism, but...

Which means that you managed to make me viscerally feel, from the inside, a world-view I deeply disagree with. Bravissimo indeed!

I don't know what to say about this... It's interesting.


Galling as it ought to be, works such as this provide means and meaning to ones once considered deities.

There's two spaces here. This is the only typo I found in the whole thing.

6298067
"I have now headcanoned that the House of Windsor is waiting for tens of thousands of years to pass and civilization to collapse and rise from the ashes so they can rule once more."
Hah! :)

Regarding the democracy thing:
It's more complicated here, I think, than democracy vs. diarchy. We don't have a "The king is just another man, one who happens to have lucked into a fancy hat, and even if he's a benevolent and competent man in a fancy hat, in fifty years the fancy hat can be on his cruel and incompetent relative" situation here. The Princesses were immortal and literally physical goddesses. They can go wrong, certainly (see Nightmare Moon), but it's also possible for them to be benevolent and competent (and very aware of the need for long-term planning and sustainability) for thousands of years straight. A mortal, ordinary elected representative doesn't have that, any more than a mortal, ordinary monarch does. At the very least, the Princesses could have been kept as constitutional monarch who had mostly ceremonial duties but who could still step in if the legislature set itself on fire. To remove them from government entirely seems like quite a waste.

6298698 They're certainly capable of very long-term planning. It's just that, without things like elections and checks on their power, I don't actually trust that they're listening properly to what their subjects want and need. It's noted that democracy was implemented by Twilight Sparkle, who is, herself, an alicorn princess. If Twi thought it a good idea to listen to the common people, because there's lots of them and their needs are the important thing to keeping society healthy, but Luna thinks the commoners are a bunch of dumb mayflies, then I'm actually kinda inclined to go with Twilight.

6298067 Tens of thousands? The "House of Windsor" hasn't even lasted a full century yet!

6298939
Oh, yes; as I said in the old comment you replied to, there are universes where the Princesses really aren't very good at their jobs. Even if this is one of those, though, it seems to me as if it's one where the Princesses could have been taught differently and/or tempered by an increase in democratic power below them. The Princesses of this universe let themselves be removed entirely from the government, and Luna's even... doing this. That does not say to me that they are people who would ignore a parliament under them. From what Luna says (though she may be an unreliable narrator), it also sounds like the democracy movement escalated over time, possibly getting away from Twilight's original designs.

I've worked enough shit jobs that I can't really find any sympathy for Luna here.

6299171 THAT'S THE JOKE.

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static1.fjcdn.com/thumbnails/comments/Lol+_c862f61cdcb8d11695c95b6415cc0562.jpg

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Yeah, let her try working retail for a while. She'll be begging to shill for pillows in no time.

I know that Luna's basically whining about the most first world of first world problems but that's still really depressing. Still if she waits long enough the monarchy will probably come back eventually.

Some nights are better than others. This night wasn't one of them but I'm ok with that. You got to have some points in your life where you are not satisfied and might as well when things are going well. Pendulum swings back and forth and up and down and left and right and all around.

6251631
It's "aye", not "ai."

6301526 What intrigues me is that she is thinking so lowly of everyone who is basically trying to get her set up to the job. The technician is someone trying to stamp out her spirit, but is a lowly mouse to Luna scurrying about. While the Technician is likely just trying to get everything set up and is just wishing Luna would be a bit more cooperative so that she can perform her job rather then thinking ill of her like Luna is of everyone else.

Along with taking offense to being called "Miss" instead of "Princess" despite the fact that she is no longer one, continuing to think she knows better then the rest... Luna certainly didn't take to democracy well if the first thing she thinks of everyone is that they are trying to insult her even if by offering pleasantries such as food or water! What person thinks they are being coddled as a child if they are being asked if they wanted something to eat or drink?

Luna sounds like the Diva who thinks they deserve everything, such insufferable people to work with on a job. Though she at least keeps it to herself, but still her thoughts are somewhat vile and reveal quite a bit of what she thinks about others.

This is so beautiful, and I could totally see it happening.

Ten ouddah ten.

6303266
Made me think of Catelyn Stark from GoT. The book specifically. Something people who only watch the show miss out on is probably one of her most despicable moments. Upon seeing Brienne, Catelyn pities her because "'Is there any creature on earth as unfortunate as an ugly woman?" Never mind that Brienne is a strong and skilled knight who can beat most men into the ground. Nope, she's ugly, and that is tragic.
She never says this, but phew, does it say a lot about her character.

6306520 It did remind me of that moment from the books, a persons thoughts on others can reveal quite a bit about oneself.

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