Rainbow Dash has never been to the eye-doctor. One afternoon Twilight takes her to the clinic to check her eyes after a minor flight accident. They end up finding out something that makes no sense whatsoever to any pony in Ponyville.

Woke up this morning to see that my random story that was published for no reason got featured 2/28/14. I'm not complaining, but it isn't a work of art :P. I guess anything a teenager writes about multicolored ponies amuses you.

Baking cakes, selling cakes, baking more cakes—it's all in a normal day's work for Pinkie Pie when the Cakes take the day off and leave her in charge of Sugarcube Corner. All she wants now is to prove that she's capable of handling anything life throws her way.

Just so long as life doesn't ask her to go upstairs.

Thanks to TGM, Rainedash, Kamikakushi, and Dubs Rewatcher for delving into the dark to preread this for me.

The ponies of Ponyville grew fearful of a being that lived among them. Wielding the weapons of his people, will they finally band together and claim victory over him once and for all? Or be shot down in defeat?

This story is a sequel to Rocks Are Dumb

Apple Bloom thinks rocks are dumb.

Maud takes it upon herself to convince the filly otherwise.

Big thanks to Majin Syeekoh for begging me allowing me the chance to write this.

When words are all that matter, the way that they are said can make all the difference.

An experimental short story written for One-Shotober, made entirely of dialogue exchange. Occurs Post-Season 3, before EqG.

Once upon a time, in the magical land of Equestria, humans were suddenly all over the freakin' place.

Legends said nothing but horrible things about them, and that the only way to deal with a human was to make them no longer be a human. First contact showed otherwise, and cooler heads prevailed. The newly-organized Transmogrification department was gutted, with most of the agents sent to work elsewhere. Many government employees were organized to help the humans settle in; the best and brightest got to work at the extremely challenging job of calculating multiversal exchange rates so that human cash could be traded in for bits.

Now, for the first time ever, you can see what it's like to work at the Conversion Bureau.
(Don't forget to upvote if you fave!)

This is by far my most popular story, so... thanks, everyone!

No one asked for it! No one demanded it! But here it is anyway: pure, distilled essence of badfic, satirized for your protection and diluted with enough water to keep you from going blind. In addition to the two terrible and wildly unoriginal shots that have been available separately on Elric's blog, this collection contains a previously untasted third chug of intentionally painful and derivative awfulness. (Do not operate heavy machinery while under the influence of bad fanfiction.)

Universally admired original characters, show characters acting out of character, stupid names, implausible shipping, gratuitous tragedy, and more -- it's all right here. Read if you dare.

Any resemblance between these OCs and any other OCs, living or dead, is purely coincidental maliciously intentional.

A secret unknown to any hornless pony, unicorn horns are made of candy. Pinkie Pie found out, and now she wants to try every flavor!

Warning: contains awkward moments and far too much non-consensual horn licking. Proceed at the risk of your horn and your dignity.

Available in Chinese, courtesy of Hell Organist.
Available in Russian, courtesy of boatOV.
Audio Reading by CaptainBron3y.
Second Audio Reading by Kanjigirl.
Featured on Equestria Daily.

Based on this story:
Pegasus Wings Are Made Of Ice Cream
The Taste Of Madness
Lyra's Candy Shoppe
Candy Is Made Of Unicorn Horns
How Many Licks?
To Prevent Horn Decay
Unicorn Horns Are Made of Heroin
Over His Dead Body
A Luscious Loophole
Dr. Doofenshirtz's Sweet Revenge
That Thing We Do
#DealWithIt
Unicorn Horns are...
Unicorn Horns Are Loaded With Calories
Charlie The Unicorn's Horn Is Made Of Candy

Mood Wings - Observations on Pegasus Body Language.

When Twilight Sparkle finds this book, she discovers an entirely new field of research. The secrets of pegasus wings lie before her, and she insists on making her own observations on the matter.

How?

Field research, of course.

Princesshood.

The dream of many a filly, young and old. The glamour! The power! The fortune! The fame! The eyes of millions, looking upon them with awe and admiration. Many ponies have yearned for this.

Fluttershy is not one of those ponies.

Bit of a problem, that.

Written for F*** THIS PROMPT #6, Rage Reviews.