Once upon a time there was a filly. Her name was Hidden Princess, although nopony knew why. She didn't get along with the other kids at school; they were always making fun of her because she had a blank flank, and because one of her eyes was silver and the other was gold. (OMG, u gaiz! It's just like how misunderstood I am!) They were also jealous of how pretty she was with her special eyes and her infrapink coat. She also had a plaid mane, why not?
She was an orphan. She lived on the edge of the Everfree Forest in the Beatings & Neglect Home for Orphaned Fillies, which was called that because it was run by two very respectable ponies: Savage Beatings and Indifferent Neglect. Both boys and girls lived there, but Hidden Princess didn't know very many of the boy fillies. She did know all of the girl fillies, though, and was very close to some of them. They were like sisters. Her friends were called Place Holder, Generic, Author's Best Friend's OC, Background Pony #2, and Surprisingly Similar To Nyx.
One day while she was at school, Miss Cher Lee said they were all going on a field trip to the library. Everypony walked across town to where the library was so that they could go to the library. When they got there, Princess Twilight Sparkle talked to them all about the importance of the library, and how it could help them, and how much fun it could be to learn. Suddenly, she spotted Hidden Princess, who was an alicorn. (Did I forget to mention that? Oops.)
"Gasp!" she gasped. "You're an alicorn!"
"Yes, ma'am," said Hidden Princess.
"What is your name?" asked Princess Twilight Sparkle.
"My name is Hidden Princess."
"I think you might be the hidden princess that the prophecy talks about!"
"Hidden princess? What's that?" asked Hidden Princess.
"That's the special princess of Equestria but nopony will recognize how special she is because she's hidden! Spike, get me that prophecy!"
They waited for a few minutes. Princess Twilight Sparkle started tapping her hoof. "Spike!" she called.
"Just finishing up!" he yelled from upstairs. He ran downstairs holding a quill and a scroll. "Watch out for wet ink," he told Princess Twilight Sparkle, shaking the cramp out of his right hand.
"Yes, it's true! You're the hidden princess!" said Princess Twilight Sparkle to Hidden Princess.
Princess Celestia and Princess Luna teleported beside Princess Twilight Sparkle. The door opened and Princess Cadance walked in. "I just got off the train from the Crystal Empire," she explained. All of the princesses bent down to Hidden Princess and kissed her rump hooves. Spike gave her a crown.
"I will adopt you," said Princess Twilight Sparkle.
"Okay," said Hidden Princess.
All of her friends were happy for her, and she lived happily ever after. Not everypony lived happily ever after, though. Scootaloo was raped, Pinkie killed a bunch of ponies, and another popular character committed suicide. Maybe Derpy? Yeah, let's say Derpy.
(I can haz tragedy upvotes now, plz?)
A tragedy that brought tears to my eyes, yet reminded me that there is always hope.
This is the kind of fiction that I live for.
Hidden Princess really is a very special little pony, and she is special in the same very unique and special way as thousands of her contemporaries.
This is just begging for AJA commentary! Make me proud son!
Hmm, Mario Brothers reference, maybe?
It's sad that the goats treated her with such disdain.
Why not? Because it's lolawful!
(Sigh) This is going to take all damn day, isn't it? I need to be more selective.
Any relation to Applebloom or Cadence? Full disclosure: I'm guilty of both misspellings in the past.
Oh come on! You spelled Cadance correctly! You call this sucking? I can suck far harder than this in my sleep!
Pretty edgy there, edgelord! I was totally getting attached to Derpy until you killed her off 3 days before retirement.
Not bad, but I've had worse. Next chapter.
Yep, this is awful. Have a like; you've clearly achieved what you set out to do!
Boy fillies. BOY FILLIES. (applause)
Are you TRYING to summon my Mary-Sueminators?
Made it 13 paragraphs in, then shot myself.
11/10 best storay evar
*Cracks knuckles.*
Alright, now for the next two stories.
Actually better than the fics being lampooned.
6998364 That picture just makes the comment work so well
Great masterpiece, but maybe it should be Lyra.
Mary Sue. Mary Sue Everywhere. This is why I have a love-hate relationship with Alicorn OCs. Mostly hate.
This makes me feel uncomfortably inadequate writing any sort of serious fiction about small talking horses... In a good way.
Meta as hell. I really liked it.
Potatoes
Want to give yourself a heart attack from laughter?
Just copypaste a line from this fic, paste it into this, and click "listen".
You'll be dead in seconds.
(I recommend "Willfromafar myself)
Wait, I know how to salvage this one.
-Make Beatings and Neglect home for Orphans officially a private institute for asshead foals, and unofficially as a hospital for mentally ill children.
-Seperate the Beatings and Neglect Institute into three sectors. One for the hardcore religious kids, one for the Juvenile Hall punks, and one for the poor traumatized sods who are kept separate from their classmates.
-Make Hidden Princess a punk. Make her a bully. A person who came from a series of broken homes and horrendous orphanages, and both looks and acts like it. But at the same time, reveal that she owes her terrible life to not just her upbringing, but also poor decisions on her part. As the fic progresses she learns to stop blaming everyone for her problems and start building a new life.
-Hidden Princess is not a Alicorn. She might not even be a Pony. She's just a normal person trying to get by. Sure she might be a Changeling, a Griffin, a Minotaur, or something even more exotic, but that doesn't define her existence.
-Add a mystery, a antagonist, anything. They're in the middle of the Everfree? Why not have the foals hear ghastly whispers coming from the trees. Why not have strange glows seen deep in the woods, only to flicker in a few seconds. You mentioned Pinkie running low on baking supplies? Have her hiding out in the Everfree, all the while preying on unfortunate passerby's. Or how about all three. Add some freaking horror to this thing.
-Give Hidden Princess a better name.
i.ytimg.com/vi/A-OQNwcKKS8/maxresdefault.jpg
6998400
Cadence is used less commonly in show credits, but it was spelled that way for her first two appearances. If it was good enough for the show, it's good enough for fanfic. Maybe it's transliterated from a different system of writing and there are two transliteration systems?
This story made me go blind
I had to skip the whole story i could not handle it
10/10
7000704
I have a better application of this delightful program. Why don't you put the setting on Willsad, and paste a scene from a clopfic into it?
Oh, or take the plot centered parts and play it with the Willcreature voice! It's Yoda reading smut!
This is all the story cliches in one story. I love it!
(Have a fave)
That's a lot of Princesses.
WTF!?
that was bad
good job
xD
Like if Crenshaw was in word form.
Solid parody, I give it 5/7
So very tempted to do a live reading of this. And a reaction reading. And a review. Maybe not a review.
May I?
Sounds like Peter Griffon wrote a fanfic.
Yep, that about sums up pretty much every Mary Sue Filly fic ever.
Holy... words and emojis cannot express me wonderous astonishment.
Oh, do excuse me. My sides appear to have translocated to another point in space.
horrible story. great job!
" Her friends were called Place Holder, Generic, Author's Best Friend's OC, Background Pony #2, and Surprisingly Similar To Nyx."
PMG, you are totes stealing from my super-duper teh awesome fanfic!
7213021 (I'm kidding, that was a joke. Actually, I loved this.)
Your right, this is bad
You forgot to describe the part where everypony is a raving, brutal, race/gender/species bigot. Other than that, you've hit all of the usual points.