It is Celestia’s birthday, but instead of getting a whole cake like last year, Luna only brings her a single slice, saying that she won’t allow her anywhere near the rest.

What other course is there but to declare war?

After yet another threat from Equestria threatens the wellbeing of Canterlot High and its students, Principal Celestia invited Princess Twilight and Sunset Shimmer for a simple discussion on what to do.

Between a less-than-willful princess, a frustrated teenager, and the wizard that crashed said discussion, she will find herself wishing she had kept her mouth shut.

Princess Celestia has been planning for this day for years: the return of Nightmare Moon, the restoration of the Elements of Harmony, and the ushering of Equestria into a new age of friendship and love. Now that it's finally arrived, all she has to do is wait for Twilight to get to Ponyville, make some friends, hunt down the Elements, and save the...

Wait, what'd that letter say?

She didn't get on the chariot?

She went to whose party instead?

Oh. Oh, this could be bad. And more importantly, it's gonna need some hooves-on interference from Celestia to get her master plan back on track. But it'll probably all work out in the end. After all, how big a deal could one party be?

Third-place finalist in Aragon's "Comedy (Is Serious Business)" contest

On the day of Nightmare Moon's return, she ponynapped one of Celestia's royal guards for interrogation. However, she might be getting more information than she wanted to know.

Credit for cover art goes to ZantyARZ

So I thought of this after remembering a very funny skit from "A Bit of Fry and Laurie." I thought it would be funny if I did the same skit, but with Nightmare Moon and a Royal Guard.

This is also sort of an apology for not finishing "Princess Luna Received a Love Letter." So I hope you all enjoy this one!

Featured 02/13/2018!!! Thank you!!!

UPDATE: I found out a couple of people have done a reading of this story. I am so happy! Here they are if you would like a listen.

Pony&Wolf Productions on 9/13/2023

Agent0Fluffy on 2/15/2023

Featured on 1/31/2017
This is the story of two criminals by the name of Snatch and Ransack. They were petty thieves with a list of equally petty crimes to their names. It was on this day however that they decided to aim a little higher on their criminal escapades and upgrade from basic thievery to kidnapping. They planned it all out; they had chloroform, they had the windowless van, they had the ransom demands, they had the location they would hold their captive, it was perfect.

The only mistake they made was the target they chose. She looked like a harmless pink haired girl with a family that would pay through the nose to get her back. What they didn't realize is that every single animal, bird, and insect in within a ten mile radius was going to take umbrage with her getting kidnapped.

Based off Villains Wanted

Villains Court is now in session! Pinkie has high hopes for this one, but it might exceed her expectations! The villains have really put some work into their plans this time! Let's hope at least some of them get into this.

All the villains have to do is fill out the waiver, merchandising forms, figure out when they go on, and a whole lot of legal business.

After realizing that Pinkie Pie is, without a doubt, one of the fastest ponies she's ever met, Rainbow Dash decides to challenge her to a race.

If only she knew what she was getting into.

Edited by: bathroomstahl

Twilight has a problem, not that she'll admit it. Spike has a solution, not that she'll listen.
Written for the Comedy (Is Serious Business) contest.
Art by: Dilarus

Editors: The Best Dasher
Prereaders:
Toasty
JackRipper
Scuttles

Featured on 2/10/2018 I love all of you

One does not simply blaspheme the princess's tits.

Consequences may include, but are not limited to, snuggling, court-martial, and third-degree burns. And not necessarily in that order.

Entry for the Comedy (Is Serious Business) contest.

The selected prompt was "We learned something hot."

Luna begins to question her understanding of the modern day language when she finds that nopony wants to be gay with her.

Gay
Olde meaning
'Light-hearted and carefree.'

Reading by Skijarama / Tone Shift