• Published 13th Feb 2018
  • 9,509 Views, 47 Comments

Nightmare Moon's Interrogation - TheAnimerican



On the day of Nightmare Moon's return, she ponynapped one of Celestia's royal guards for interrogation. However, she might be getting more information than she wanted to know.

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The Interrogation

As the guard regained consciousness, he found himself on the floor tied up. He struggled and squirmed to break free, but his efforts were in vain.

As he waited for his vision to clear, he tried to observe his surroundings the best he could. From what he was able to see, he was laying on a dark blue carpet. Anything further than two feet was still a blur for him. Although, he was sure he saw a cracked window that provided little illumination in the room.

"Ah. You have awoken." A new and unrecognizable voice made its presence known.

"Who are you?" the guard questioned, "I am a major of the Royal Guard."

"Oh I know very well who you are Major." The female's voice can be described as appealing, but it also gave cold chills to the guard.

"Then explain yourself. Who are you? Why am I here?"

"All in good time. However, you are in no position to be questioning me. I will be the one asking the questions." The voice drew closer and closer to the guard. What followed the voice was the sound of hoofsteps. Soon the guard was able to see a taller figure, but was not in range for a clear vision.

"As you know, today is the day of the Summer Sun Celebration. One would assume that Princess Celestia would be making preparations. Sadly, she is nowhere to be found. But you know where she is don't you?"

"Ha! You think I know that information? Even if I did, why should I tell you?"

"Why should you? Maybe I should shed some light on the situation."

Then suddenly, curtains from the cracked window was drawn open. In a flash of light, the entire room was lit up and the guard's vision was much clearer. In front of him was a battle armored, tall, dark, and thin mare. Not only a mare, but an alicorn princess. She stared down at him with cold eyes that shined like sapphire.

"Oh my..." the guard was at a loss for words.

"That's right. After 1,000 years I have finally returned."

"No no no it's not that."

"I can see you trembling in fear before me. Don't think you can fool me."

"No no. It's just that... You're so... So beautiful!"

The sudden outburst caught the alicorn by surprise. She jumped back from his statement. "E-Excuse me?" she asked.

"I can't believe it. I have always believed that I would find that somepony in my life and this is it! This is really really happening! I'm not dreaming am I?" The guard suddenly had the strength to try to hop. He continued to hop toward the alicorn princess.

"Stop! I command you to stop!" She ordered, but the guard persisted. However, being tied up made him run out of breath. At some point, he had to give in to her wishes. "What do you think you are doing? Don't you know who I am!?!"

"That's just it! I don't know anything about you, but I want to."

"Well you will you insolent pest! I am the 'Mare of the Moon.' I, Nightmare Moon, shall reign over all of Equestria in eternal night!"

"Nightmare Moon?" asked the guard.

The night princess laughed maniacally, "Yes. Now you understand?"

"Nightmare Moon... Yes. Nightmare Moon I love it!"

"Yes- Wait what?" the mare asked confused.

"Okay. So let me see what I know of you so far. Umm... your name is Nightmare Moon. Wow, I still can't get enough of that name. Oh! I see your hobby is Astronomy-."

"Silence fool!" Nightmare Moon demanded.

"Oh wow. Those beautiful blue eyes. They shine so bright when you get angry. Did you know that?"

The mare then put her hoof down, causing a small crack to appear. "Enough! I am tired of these games!"

"Games? Oh my princess, these are no games! I love everything about you; the wavy mane, the sexy armor, the cute little nose. I have found the mare I want to spend my life with!" the guard announced to her.

"What!?!" The mare gasped, "Have you lost your mind!?!"

"Yes! Yes I have! I have lost my mind and I have never felt so alive!"

Nightmare Moon gave a couple coughs to clear her throat. She regained her composure and turned away from the guard; Finding she was unable to look at him. "I don't have time for this nonsense. This will be my final warning to you. If you don't-."

She was interrupted by the guard's sudden loud gasp, "Sweet Celestia. There is a full moon out tonight!"

"No there isn't. I haven't raised the... Eek!" The princess let out a ear piercing screech as she realized what moon the guard was referring to.

"Ms. Moon, that has to be the cutest little bum EVER!" the guard stated.

Nightmare Moon blushed in frustration, "Now you listen here. I don't know what you are trying to pull but-... Aha! Now I understand. You are toying with me. You are messing with my head. Well it isn't going to work! Do you hear me!?!"

"Oh that voice," the guard said as if he was in a trance, "It is just so dreamy. I could listen to you all day long."

"...A moron. That's what he is. They will hire anybody in the royal guard nowadays. A lot has changed in 1,000 years," an exhausted princess thought to herself.

"I have a lot to make up for the time we haven't been together. But the past doesn't matter. What matters is the here and now. I will follow you to the gates of Tartarus if I have to! Kiss me my princess! Kiss me now!"

After the guard expressed his feelings, the mare of the moon stood tall with her eyes shining bright. "Enough!" Her voice echoed as the wind began to swirl around them. "I have had it with you! Where is Princess Celestia hiding!?! You will tell me NOW!"

The guard pouted, "Oh who cares about that overrated sun butt?"

"I do!" the princess shouted.

"Oh okay. She is hiding in the mountains near the Castle of the Two Sisters."

The wind died down and the iris of her eyes began to reappear. "Ah. Of course. I see she wants to settle this where it all began. Nice to know that dear sister hasn't forgotten me."

"Oh princess," the guard sang, "I have told you what you wanted to know. Can't I be rewarded with a kiss?"

The princess rubbed one of her forelegs with the other. She said with blush in her cheeks and a small smile, "Well... A little kiss wouldn't hurt."

Author's Note:

I really loved the skit and I hope you all enjoyed this little parody.

The link to the original video is provided below if you want to take a look at it yourself.

Thank you and I hope you enjoyed!

A Bit of Fry and Laurie "Nazi Skit"

Comments ( 47 )

I dunno what I just read...
But I like it

8732091
Hahahahahahahahaha!!! I do too!!!

a bit over the top on his part, but good enough for a quick one shot.

I love the sound of Nightmare Moon crackfics in the morning. It sounds like ... happiness. Liked and following.

Huk
Huk #5 · Feb 13th, 2018 · · ·

She was interrupted by the guard's sudden loud gasp, "Sweet Celestia. There is a full moon out tonight!"

It deserve a like for this line alone :rainbowlaugh: Seriously, not bad, not bad at all :pinkiesmile:

Short and delicious and bad for me, like a potato chip. I love it!

Simply glorious.

that was awesome and he's right the full moon is great

Cute.

And proof that Moony just wanted to be loved!

sequel with luna pls

The video has been taken off YouTube, still kinda funny and it was worth a read.

One kiss turns into another and another...then something else, poor Celestia was left waiting all day for a Nightmare Moon that never showed.

This is so Adoracute. I have no idea where I got the word Adoracute from, but I believe this describes this perfectly

I'd love a sequel.

8732285
In the morning? Gotta read those by moonie light!

I have to say, I was going to write this story off as just another "lol, randumb" fic, but after seeing the skit it is a based on I have a new appreciation for the reference. Jolly good show!

The execution could be a bit more refined/edited, but this was good for laugh. :yay:

Tiny typo:

A new and unrecognizable voice made it's presence known.

its

I had no idea what to expect before and I don't know what to think of this now, but.... that was a properly amusing read. Thank you! :rainbowlaugh:

The princess rubbed one of her forelegs with the other. She said with blush in her cheeks and a small smile, "Well... A little kiss wouldn't hurt."

And then they sexed.

The end.

And while she was wasting her time interrogating the guard, the Mane 6 recovered the EoH with ease and blasted her back to the Moon FOREVER!! And Celestia was forever known as Best Princess. :trollestia:

Yes, yesyesyesyesyesyes all of the yes.

8736985
*Eleven months later*

Celestia: "You just gave birth to a foal!? I thought you were just getting fat! Luna! I'm so sorry! I had no idea that you were pregnant when I banished you to the moon a thousand years ago!"
Luna: "Neither did I...♪♫:rainbowkiss:"
Celestia: "Huh? Waitasec... I've never felt that perpetual lie-detection spell do this before....:rainbowderp:"
Luna: "'Perpetual lie-detection spell'?:twilightoops:"
Celestia: "Yeah, after I banished you, I made this spell to help me judge when I was getting lied to...but it seems to have broken somehow...:rainbowhuh:"
Luna: "Lucky me :facehoof:"
Celestia: "Oh, it seems to be working again... :trollestia:"
Luna: "Good to know:twilightangry2:"
Celestia: "Oh, there it goes again...Not a lie...Not the truth....It's like...it doesn't know what to do. :rainbowhuh:"
Luna: ":facehoof: ... I'll .... be going ... now."
Celestia: "♪Working again!♫ :pinkiehappy:"

Ooh could you maybe add the alternate universe tag or something because I honestly want to see this ship lol. With the major being a dopey personal guard for luna and maybe even lover hehe.:rainbowderp:

8737715

Hmmm... I probably should. :derpyderp2:
I mean, now we all know what would have happened. XD

The princess rubbed one of her forelegs with the other. She said with blush in her cheeks and a small smile, "Well... A little kiss wouldn't hurt."

......And they both banged happily ever after.

The End! :trollestia:

How do you do this? If I had to write something similar It would take two chapters with five thousand words! Tell me your secret to the cute! TELL ME!

Oneshots like this are truly the heart and soul of this site! Loved it! :)

After years of nothing but guarding a large, white, motherly figure of a princess. The Major comes face to face with one that is tall, dark and sexy.

Wonder how'd he feel after her cleansing.

Not bad but I was expecting something else and when I was reading it, it surprised me that Nightmare Moon did not knock him and tried with another.

Can we haz mor, pls?

Well, that was fast

8737111
Bloody Brilliant.

I think Nightmare Moon acts completely out of character here. Maybe Princess Luna could be closed and reluctant to engage into a relationship, but Ruler of the Night should've taken guard's adoration for granted and use it to extract information right away.

Wonder if he interrogated Nightmare a little more in bed

BRO.
THAT VIDEO WAS THE BEST THING EVER!
AND THIS STORY FITS SO WELL WITH IT.
But in the video the major is a boy and is gay. But here the major is not gay, whaaaaaaa?

"I can't believe it. I have always believed that I would find that somepony in my life and this is it! This is really really happening! I'm not dreaming am I?" The guard suddenly had the strength to try to hop. He continued to hop toward the alicorn princess.

LOL
RUN
RUN NIGHTMARE MOON
IT’S YOUR ONLY HOPE

Ha! That lovestruck buffoon!

I like this guy. I want him in my army.

What fun. I guess he would not mind have to repay Celestias Depth of 1000 years of no Stallion Companion back personaly. With 20% interests :rainbowdetermined2:

And than he kissed her, just on other lips than expected. That Guard saved Equestria all Night long by kissing the royal rear lips.
ALL - NIGHT - LOOONG~♡ :eeyup:

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