“No.” Spike stood at the opening to Carousel Boutique, his mouth hanging open.
“No?” Starlight asked, trotting up behind him as she peered inside.
Inside the shop, Rarity tossed fabric this way and that, all while her horn magically held a busy quill against a white canvas. Stacks of books lay sprawled around her, many lying open on the floor as she stepped over them.
“Where’s Twilight?” Spike asked, staying just outside the chaos of Rarity’s inspirational disaster. Starlight followed closely, also wisely keeping her distance from Rarity’s zone of artistic expression.
“Oh, hello, darlings.” Rarity spun around, an elegant dress coming to life before their eyes. “Twilight has her head buried in books again—quite literally this time, I might add.”
“What?” Spike started, but stopped at what he witnessed next. A paper-thin figure stood up from an open issue of Cosmare, only to jump through the air into a heavyset book titled Fashioning a Profit from Fashion. Spike ran to the book, watching as Twilight dove through the pages at a manic pace. “Get back out here!”
“What’s the matter, Spikey-Wikey?” Rarity stopped for only a moment to smile, Spike’s cheeks heating up as if he were preparing to send a letter. “Twilight has finally expressed her interest in fashion, especially the business side.” There was another quick scratch against paper as Rarity smiled. “So I finally get to draw up some more designs for her to model. It’s been quite a while since the Princess Dress incident after all.”
Spike only seemed to half-listen as he flipped through the pages of the hefty fashion book, searching for the literal alicorn.
“Twilight needs our help, Rarity.” Starlight frowned as Spike finally spotted Twilight, trying to grab her with his claws. Of course, that did nothing but make Twilight scurry, hopping to a recent magazine about the new fashions of Trottingham. “She’s gone mad with knowledge.”
Rarity watched Spike chase the bookhorse from one piece of literature to another. After a few minutes, he was panting, following Twilight as she jumped into Hooficures and Why You Need One.
“Are you really asking me to tell Twilight to stop reading?” Rarity raised an eyebrow. “I’d have an easier time getting Sweetie Belle to shave her mane.”
“Starlight,” Spike huffed, “I need your fanfic.”
Starlight’s eyes widened. “What?” She blinked, then blinked again. “How… what?”
“Look, I’ve already read it… and yeah, it needs an editor. Just give it to me.” Spike waved his claws frantically as he slowly approached the last book Twilight had entered.
Sighing, Starlight called upon her magic, summoning a book adorned with a purple six-pointed star. “We’re going to have a chat about this later, Spike. You don’t just go through other ponies’ things.”
“Yeah, yeah, and you don’t watch purple princesses in their sleep. I got it.” Spike replied as she floated the book over to him. It dropped atop his head with a thud, Spike chuckling as he watched Starlight blush hotly.
Spike slid the heavy book Twilight was currently engrossed in, Thread counts and Bit Counts, off the counter before walking away from any other potential literary havens. Holding the two books apart, he gave a little whistle.
“Here, Twilight. I’ve got another book for you.” He waved Starlight’s most treasured possession tauntingly as he opened the book on fashion advice. “And there’s only one in all of Equestria!”
Pages flipped as Twilight spotted the tasty treat, diving for the lavender book like a dog after a stick. Spike opened to about the middle, shutting it as Twilight jumped in, a dark grin spreading across his face.
“Spike!” Starlight wilted as she stared at the dragon. “Twilight can’t read that. She’ll…”
For a second, a shadow passed over Spike’s face. “She’ll live… probably.” He glanced down at the deadly writing, squinting at the cover. “Really, Starlight? For the Love of Stargazing?” Spike tapped his nose with a claw, just before a muffled scream began to fill the room.
“Ahhhhhhh!” It was the only warning they got as Twilight magically ejected herself from Starlight’s romcom. Purple wings spiraled as she flew across the room, crashing into Rarity and knocking over the canvas she’d been working with.
As piles of books slid to the floor, Twilight poked her head out and glared at Spike. “That… that was cruel, Spike. There’s—” Twilight shivered before she continued, “—some things you can’t unsee.” Her gaze shifted to Starlight, and their eyes met. “Sparkling flanks of steel, really?”
Poor Starlight turned an even deeper shade of purple than Twilight.
There was a groan as Rarity sat up, quills and paper shifting as she held her head with a hoof. “Twilight, dear, I know you like to tackle problems head-on, but really, that was a bit much.”
“Rarity, oh, I’m sorry.” Twilight levitated everything back into place, helping Rarity up gingerly with a hoof.
The poor white unicorn looked rather frazzled, her normally pristine coat now matted and dingy.
“Oh, let me get that.” Twilight pointed her horn at Rarity, and before Rarity could protest, cast a gentle lavender glow over the ruffled unicorn.
Spike watched as Rarity’s mane detangled, her tail rearranged itself, and finally her chest floof whitened, and then become even floofier. Spike’s jaw dropped as the fabulous mare that held his heart became even more fabulous.
Rarity turned, looking at one of the many mirrors that could be found in the boutique, and squeed musically. “Oh, Twilight! I’m gorgeous! What… How did you—” She turned and grabbed Twilight with her hooves. “In fact, I could just… oh, Celestia, why not.” She then promptly planted a perfect kiss on Twilight’s lips.
Twilight’s head fell back slightly, a stream of smoke hissing out one ear. “Glad you liked it,” was all she could manage.
“Like it? I love it~” Rarity pranced around, admiring her coat from all angles. “In fact, I think I just solved your money troubles.”
“Really?” Twilight perked up.
“We’re doomed,” Spike breathed, watching them as his face filled with dread.
“What is this?”
A line of colorful pastel ponies pushed far past the entrance of Ponyville’s center. Next to the large fountain, Twilight had magicked together a table, complete with sign that read ‘Five Minute Floof.’ Rarity trotted up and down the line, chatting happily with all the curious ponies, her floofed chest getting oohs and ahhs as she passed.
“Twilight!” Spike called, running towards the front of the line. “Ho—, nevermind. How exactly do you think this will work?”
Twilight barely glanced his way as she shuffled bits in her levitation. The pile behind her was getting bigger and bigger, long having overflowed the bag Rarity had brought. A wide smile crossed her face as she cackled maniacally.
“Just… just think of the books, Spike.” A little drool trickled down the side of her chin. “All the biggest, rarest, tomes in all of Equestria, and from beyond!”
“Twilight, you’re drooling,” Spike said with a sigh. “And yes, books, fantastic, but there’s another problem.”
Twilight giggled as she began recounting the bits, all the while collecting and casting her floof spell on the next pony. “Oh, Spike. There’s no problem. I’ve already gotten half the bits we need. If we keep this up, I might even be able to just buy the Canterlot Library.”
“‘Cause it’d be that easy.” Spike pinched the bridge of his nose with his claws. “This isn’t going to work, you know.”
“Pffft, you’re crazy.” Twilight’s eyes shrank as she tossed half a dozen bits at Spike. “My plan is genius!
“But—” Spike started.
“Genius!” Twilight replied, louder and with another toss of bits.
“…We’re doomed.”