Knit Wit is a kind pony who admires the Princesses.

Knit Wit is also an idiot.

He asks Celestia to extinguish the sun.

Madness follows...

Contains: Upset Celestia, brainless ponies, desired use of alcohol, time stopping, and face hoofing.

Featured 3-15-19 to 3-19-19!

UPDATE: I brought back the original beginning. I honestly hated the one I’ve been using for the last 3 months. I like the current one a lot more.

I don't think you can know Rarity without being at least a little bit scared of her. If you're not, then you don't really know Rarity.

This is the story of how she saved Ponyville one day.

Winner of the Make Rarity Not Garbage Barcast Contest. Preread by Pearple Prose, ScarletWeather, and Estee (who did nothing but stand in the corner in silence while I ranted at them about this story, but by God did that help).

The yearly flu has struck Ponyville once more and countless ponies are resting up at home, surrounded by used tissues and bowls of various home remedies.

Unfortunately, this year's variation of the age old sniffles has an unexpected new symptom: Spontaneous bursts of supervillianry.

Fortunately, none of them are any good at it.

This story is a sequel to Sunshipped

"Um, Sunburst? Look. I was visiting your sister and... uh... things have gotten kiiiiiinda weird. Like, seriously, get ready to be an ape weird."

Twilight Sparkle is aware that the manipulation of matter at the sub-atomic level is a potential source of enormous amounts of free energy. She also knows that this is extremely dangerous, and that these spells are only for the highest level unicorns. She is therefore somewhat concerned to discover that Pinkie Pie has found another way to do this, with a curious contraption in the basement of Sugarcube Corner.

When news breaks of a dangerous mutant strand of the apple blight bacterium, which can also infect ponies, Special Agent Sweetie Drops is dispatched to Ponyville to deal with a potentially serious biohazard incident. She quickly isolates Sweet Apple Acres, and contains the danger. But preventing wider fallout will require the cooperation of a young farm filly.

The appearance of heroines can lead to many things, and one of them is merchandising. So it makes perfect sense for a toy company to get the rights for the Bearers' images and produce action figures of them, right?

...well, it seemed like a good idea at the time.

(Now with author Patreon and Ko-Fi pages. (Due to minimal length, this story was a pledge freebie.))

Running a spa isn't easy. Lotus Blossom is expected to lower the stress levels of an entire town on demand, with nopony ever thinking about what those demands might be doing to her. Keeping the La-Ti-Da Spa functional, calming, and more or less in one piece means paying attention to the small details. Birds in the dryer vent counts as a small detail. But at least that's just a minor problem.

Or not.

(A standalone, no-prior-reading-necessary part of the Triptych Continuum, which has its own TVTropes page and FIMFiction group: new members and trope edits are welcome.)

Now with author Patreon and Ko-Fi pages.

This story is a sequel to Good For Nearly All Princess Labor, Public And Private

Part of getting Equestria used to having the full Diarchy in place is making Luna's presence into a normal aspect of everyday life. And since few things are more everyday than commerce, that means it's finally time to get her visage back onto the nation's currency. All the palace has to do is commission one of the realm's greatest (and most disconnected) artists, and then...

...actually, that was the first mistake.

((Part of the Triptych Continuum, which has its own TVTropes page and FIMFiction group: new members and trope edits welcome. This story can be read on its own: it just happens to take place after the events of the linked piece. No reading or knowledge of that earlier story is required.)

Now with author Patreon and Ko-Fi pages.

Retail tends to run a little ahead of the actual calendar: Nightmare Night stock is put out in summer, and Hearth's Warming merchandise is slammed onto the shelves at the instant that's gone. So Invoice, who's temporarily running Barnyard Bargains while Mr. Rich is on vacation, sees absolutely nothing wrong with announcing the first Back To School Sale less than one week into summer.

The kids of Ponyville have a different opinion. And it comes with picket signs.

Now with author Patreon and Ko-Fi pages.