//------------------------------//
// Marchioness Madness: The Ball in Your Court 
// Story: The Supervillain Flu 
// by TheDriderPony 
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Given how their group was larger now and the chances of an infected pony turning villain was greater than they'd first surmised, the group decided to split up. Spike went off towards Fluttershy's cottage while Twilight and Rainbow Dash headed to Rarity's boutique. 

The trip back through town was just as peaceful as the first one had been. Roseluck was not building a flower empire with hypnotically controlled stallions. Nor was Pokey Pierce holding up the bank for their supply of free toasters. Cheerilee had not converted the school into a iron-hooved dictatorship and Photo Finish had declined trapping ponies' souls in photos of themselves. All in all, it seemed like any other normal day.

Until the music started.

"Dun~da~na~dun~da~na~dun~da~na~dun~da~na~dan~dan~dan!!"

It was similar to a drumbeat, but done a capella by a pony with slightly less-than perfect tempo. Hoof-beats sounded from around the corner of the next alley, as Twilight and company waited to see just who or what would come forth.

A moment later, a tiny unicorn filly came barreling around the corner, skidding on the dirt path as she attempted to make the sudden turn. She wore an adorable deerstalker hat and several layers of tattered thin jackets. Even as she ran she continued to to vocalize her own theme tune, the beat only hesitating every few bars for her to gasp and take in a sudden resupply of sweet oxygen. And when she sneezed, which was often.

She paused as she hit the main road and posed dramatically, shielding her eyes from the sun like an intrepid explorer. 

"In a city gripped by fear and greed, on streets greased with melted ice cream and tears, who is left to look out for the little guy and see if he's got any bits on him? It's the surprising adventures of me, Sir Dinky Cran-Muffin Caesar!"

Twilight and Rainbow Dash struggled to hold in their laughter. For as much as a serious face she was trying to make, the filly only succeeded in making herself more adorable. The effect was amplified by her having to sniff every few seconds to keep her runny nose in check.

"In my continuing quest to find out who is behind it all," she monologued to no one in particular, "I've come across a startling series of clues which has taken me from the toy store to the bakery and all across town to this, very, spot." She punctuated her words with tiny stomps in the dirt. She checked left and right a few times as if looking for something before sneezing again and shouting back down the alley from which she'd emerged. "Keep up Gingersnap!"

"Coming!" replied a cheery voice.

A moment later, a grey pegasus exited the alley. She was dressed very similarly to the filly with her golden mane pressed down by a ratty beanie. Unlike her companion, she quickly noticed both Twilight and Rainbow Dash standing there. "Oh! Good morning Princess Twilight! Hiya Rainbow Dash!"

"Morning Derpy," they both greeted in their own ways. 

"I've told you you don't have to use the title, you know," Twilight reminded.

"Mhm, I remember," the optically unfocused pegasus grinned, "But it does have a really pretty ring to it, doesn't it though?"

"Hey, so what's up with eh..." Rainbow Dash gestured vaguely to the filly who was looking around, behind, and under every loose object in her immediate vicinity while quietly continuing her monologue about injustice and secret societies of pegacorn overlords.

Derpy laughed lightly. It was a pleasant sound. "Oh that? Dinky's just caught a little case of that supervillain bug that's been going around. I took her to Doc and he said some exercise would help her body work it out of her system."

"She's got the bug?" Rainbow Dash leaned away from he filly, instinctively now a little cautious of ponies under its influence.

"Has she been doing anything... particularly villainous?" Twilight asked. She felt no reason to be immediately concerned. It was Dinky after all, runner-up in Ponyville's "Sweetest Filly" contest three years running. 

Derpy shrugged. "Petty crimes mostly. A little pickpocketting, some minor shoplifting. I've been following behind her and paying everypony back. It's really been kinda fun. She's given both of us new villain names and created a huge backstory for herself that I can't even keep track of. She's so creative, I bet she grows up to be a writer someday." She beamed with motherly pride.

"You there!" Suddenly, Dinky was there, squarely in the center of their group and staring down Twilight like she was in a police interrogation room. "What do you know of the secret conspiracy of all the things that are behind the things which are bad?"

"I-uh..." the princess stammered, "What conspiracy?"

Dinky blinked. "Wha- What conspiracy?" she exclaimed with all the indignity of a child who has her opinions firmly entrenched. "The conspiracy, of course! The big one that explains why you can't stack ice cream more than five scoops high without it falling over, and why toast always lands jelly side down around Princess Celestia, and why all of our holidays seem to keep changing order! I've worked out some of it so far. I know it's all under control of the secret lunar communists from the Crystal Empire, those darned red caribou, and their secret atomic tobacco doodle! But the trail's going cold, and I need another clu- atchoo! Clue."

Twilight desperately glanced at Derpy for direction. Luckily, the pegasus caught on and began miming something which Twilight interpreted as best she could. "I can't say I know anything about that conspiracy." Dinky's face fell for a moment before she continued, "But if I could say things about it, then I might suggest looking at Bon Bon's sweet shop. There may be clues somewhere in the tuiles."

"Ah ha!" Dinky cried, "Quickly Gingersnap! To Berry Punch's Alehouse!" She dashed off in a flash.

"What the hay?" Rainbow Dash asked in confusion. "How the heck did she get Berry's from Bon Bon's?"

"Because candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker!" a small voice cried from down the road, "And there's no time to waste!"

Twilight turned sheepishly to Derpy. "Sorry, I guess my message didn't quite get through."

She waved it off. "It's fine. Berry's was actually what I was trying to mime anyways. I caught up with Berry Punch two clues ago, so she's expecting us with chilled juice boxes." She took a few deep breaths and stretched out her wings. "And hopefully Dinky'll decide to play with Berry Pinch for a while so I can sit down for a few minutes."

Before taking off, she tossed a few coins to Twilight from one of her many pockets. "And here's some bits to pay back what she just took from you."

"But she didn't-"

"Oh yes she did." Derpy tapped the side of her head knowingly. "I've always got an eye on her. Toodles!" And with that, she glided down the street after her villainous daughter.

The two stood in silence for a moment.

"Huh." Rainbow Dash finally broke it, "Well that was something."

"It certainly was."

"Should we just... keep heading to Rarity's?"

"I think that would be a  good idea."





By the time they arrived at the boutique, Spike had already beaten them there. He quickly abandoned the window he'd been peering into and raced over to the pair. "Twilight! I think there might be something wrong. The door's locked and I can't see into any of the windows!"

Twilight nodded in acknowledgement. "I'll force it open if it comes to it, but we should still try normal methods first. How was Fluttershy by the way?"

"She was fine," he answered quickly, fretfully hopping from foot to foot. "But when I got there she was packing her bags. She heard about the side effects of the new flu and decided to wait out the storm at Discord's house."

"Discord has a house?" Rainbow Dash asked as Twilight parted from the group to try the door.

Spike gave her a look. "Yeah. Of course he does. Where did you think he lived?"

"I always figured he just, you know, wandered around," she mused, "Like a very magical hobo."

In a sudden burst of astounding improbability, a large portion of air molecules inexplicably transmuted themselves into a harmonica. Prior to their transformation, this particular section of air happened to be situated approximately fifteen feet squarely above Rainbow Dash's head. Gravity did the rest.

"Ouch!"

Meanwhile, Twilight was inspecting the boutique. It was quiet, too quiet. There was always some sort of noise about the shop, whether it be the murmur of customers, the mechanical hum of Rarity's sewing machines, or just Sweetie Belle singing. Yet today the whole structure was eerily silent. It didn't help the matter that the windows, though uncurtained, offered no glimpse into the building's interior. All that could be seen through the windows was a strange darkness that not even the sun seemed to penetrate.

She tried knocking. She tried calling out. She even sent out magical pulses in horse code. But there was no response from inside the shop.

"Alright Rainbow Dash," Twilight said after exhausting all possible modes of communication, "Force the door please."

"Not that I'm complaining, but why do I have to break it down?" she asked.

"Because if I break the door," Twilight explained, "Then Rarity has to fix it out of her own pocket. But if you break it, it's covered by her insurance."

The pegasus flew a fair distance away, allowing herself time for a good running start. A moment later, she sprang back, rocketing towards the door at excessive speed. She hit it hooves first, knocking it clean off it's hinges and flat onto the floor. Twilight and Spike stepped in after her, taking care as they walked on the door-turned-drawbridge.

"Welcome, darlings..." a familiar voice trilled, "To my court of high fashion."

The interior of Carousel Boutique was gone. That is to say, it had been replaced with a grand ballroom many times it's size. Three-story tall windows let glorious sunlight dance across polished marble floors. Grand tapestries hung between the windows all featuring a triple-diamond cutie mark. Magically animated ponequins meandered throughout the hall, each dressed to the nines in the finest fashions Rarity's wardrobe had to offer.

In the center of everything, Rarity reclined on her chaise lounge. She'd restyled her hair into a vertical marvel, with three tiers of curls like cresting waves. Her usual makeup was done to excess, leaving her looking more like a painted doll than a natural beauty. And then there was her dress. It was enormous. The gown was a complex affair of pinks, blues, and whites with a skirt so large she could hide two more ponies beneath it. Ruffles and bows competed for space with embedded gemstones while lace grew over everything like ivy. She sat poised in a picture of regal elegance before falling prey to a sudden burst of kitten-like sneezes. She dabbed at her nose with a hankerchief.

"How's she done all this?" Rainbow Dash whispered.

"Angry Architect's Dimensional Enlargement spell," Twilight whispered back, "It has an inefficient energy cost long term, but is an excellent spell for just a few days. Though normally it's used on luggage, not buildings."

Finally, Rarity's sneezing fit had come to an end. "Oh I do apologize. I seem to have come down with a sudden case of the vapors."

Twilight stepped forward. "Rarity, what happened in here?"

She frowned, but responded. "Oh, I'd merely come to a realization. For too long I've been living beneath my station. Whiling away my finite hours in toil while I could have been living in luxurious splendor." She cast a wide hoof to her surroundings. "This is much more fitting of a mare of my standing, don't you think?"

"We-"

"Ah, ah, ah!" Rarity interrupted. "One simply cannot attend royal court dressed like that. Allow me to help you."

With the faintest glow of her horn (it would be unregal to show effort) a mountain of loose clothing flung itself at the hapless trio, burying them completely. They fought valiantly, but in vain, as the quantity of clothing was simply too much. It pressed in from all sides, squirming and worming against them like snakes. After a minute, the clothing retreated back into it's hiding spots.

Not all of the clothing had abandoned them, however. Three outfits had stayed behind, having claimed wearers and taken the liberty of donning themselves.

Twilight now wore a two piece silver and mint dress which, while lovely, clashed horribly with her coat. It was accompanied by four gauzy, billowing sleeves which encapsulated her legs.

Rainbow Dash had, much to her misfortune, been chosen by Pinkie Pie's favorite Grand Galloping Gala dress (which had been returned to the boutique for resizing). Luckily for her, the dress was future-proofed (just in case Pinkie ever ascended into the Alicorn of Partying) and already had wing slits. Though she continued to struggle and fight, the dress adamantly refused to be removed. It's purpose was to be worn and the spell compelling it was powerful.

Spike had possibly been the most unfortunate. There were no dragon-sized clothing among the pile, so the animate clothing simply had to make do. The best it had been able to do was a simple foal's frock, plain and unadorned. Being designed for a pony's build however, it sat awkwardly on his bipedal frame, resembling a strange toga more than anything else and forcing his forelegs in an awkward T-pose.

Rarity noticed Spike, trapped in his toga, and her eyes narrowed. "Oh that will never do." She shot a bolt of magic at the dragon too quickly for anyone to react to. It hit him square in the chest. Immediately his gown transmuted into a fine suit, in classic Prench style, complete with tails, breeches, a cut-away jacket, and riding boots.

"There." Her soft smile returned. "Much more befitting of my court."

"Rarity!" Rainbow Dash screeched, straining against the dress "Get this thing off me! You know I'm a spring and Pinkie's a winter! It doesn't work!"

"Quiet you fool!" Rarity scowled back, "You are in the presence of royalty." Her expression softened slightly and her voice almost returned to normal. "And actually dear, you're a summer, so you can make a winter palette's colors work under the right conditions. Maybe some accessories..."

She shook her head suddenly and the haughty tone returned to her voice. "No, you're trying to distract me. Trying to make me forget my master plan."

"What plan is that?" Spike asked eagerly, forgetting for a moment that this was not a good time to be encouraging her.

Her smile was wide and slow-growing, much like that of a serpent. "I'm glad you asked, my darling Spike. Look at this glorious world I've managed to build here, and in only two days time. Imagine the wonders I could do if all of Equestria was as beautiful and regal as this." She fluttered her fan, as if the very thought made her dizzy with anticipation. 

"It is my obligation, nay, my duty to bring the rest of the world up to my standards, even if I have to drag it kicking and screaming through the streets!"

"You can't do that Rarity." Twilight tried an appeal to logic and friendship, her two most valuable tools. "Everypony has their own sense of style and worth. You can try to encourage them to try something new, but it's not right to force your opinions on others."

The lounging mare snorted in distaste. "Pfft, Rarity, Rarity, Rarity. That's all you keep saying. That was my old name." She snapped her folding fan shut. "That was the name of the mare who didn't have the boldness to reach towards what she wanted and take it. The strength of will to do what needs to be done. I am no longer such a mare. I am," she stood up, allowing the full volume of her dress to assert itself, "The Marchioness!" 

"And if you want to stop me, you'll have to get to me. But to do that..." she smiled and lit her horn, "Then you'll have to get through my court first! Attendants! Defend your Lady!"

In an instant, every animated wooden pony in the room spun around and began advancing on the intruders. Twilight and Spike held the door while Rainbow Dash took to the sky. Unfortunately some of the ponequins were pegasus models and had just enough magic to fly. Rarity- no, The Marchioness, selected a record from behind her couch and set it to play. A quick-tempoed waltz rang out crisply from the gramophone's horn and all the fashion-forward fighters began to move in time with it.

"Let the ball begin! Ohohohoho!" She declared as she tittered loudly into the side of her hoof before succumbing to a most unladylike coughing fit.

A pair of combat dancers swept towards Rainbow Dash. She dodged nimbly, but was almost immediately clipped by another pair coming from another direction. She dodged again as was once more assailed. It quickly evolved into a strange aerial ballet as the relentless charges forced the Wonderbolt to swoop, dive, and twirl to avoid being body-slammed out of the air.

Meanwhile, Twilight was having no greater luck. Magicless though they might be, each ponequin was still a conglomeration of metal and wood as heavy as any living pony.

Spike ducked under a sweeping hoof that had nearly tossed him into the far wall. "How is she this strong?!"

Twilight had been working hard on that very question. Rarity was a decent spellcaster, better than most even, and her fine control and ability to manipulate multiple objects was unparalleled in Ponyville. But that couldn't explain all this. The flu did not enhance magic capacity or skill, and this many iterations of the Come Alive spell, as well as maintaining the Dimension charm and whatever other spells she had going was beyond Rarity's ability. How was she doing it?

It took a ponequin in a long purple jacket and green tunic charging her through a ray of simulated sunlight for her to spot it. A glimmering reflection from it's forehead. The glimmering reflections were everywhere now that she'd spotted them.

"It's gems!" Twilight cried as she used a delayed teleport to let the warrior charge right through her position, "She's enchanted gems to power them all! That's why she's not getting tired or strained!"

"Of course." The Marchioness replied as she sniffled and sipped her tea. "It'd be uncouth to engage in such roughhousing myself."

Rainbow Dash swooped low to rescue Spike from where he'd been cornered by a group of high-stepping linedancers, airlifting him out into a less overridden section. "So they're never going to stop!?"

"Not for a long time!" This wasn't working. A fight against an opponent who does not tire is like trying to fight the sea, Twilight remembered from a book she'd read on warfare. They couldn't wait out the spell and they couldn't destroy the ponequins. They were still wearing Rarity's designs. She might have a touch of the evil, but she didn't really mean it. They couldn't destroy her work! But they needed to be removed. Suddenly, she had an idea. "Spike! Use your dragonfire! We'll have Celestia deliver the dresses back later!"

"Don't you dare harm my creations! Duchess!" The Marchioness suddenly screamed, "Do not let him interfere!"

"Aye aye, your majesty!" replied a small white form that came sprinting out from beneath her voluminous dress and collided with the equally sized dragon.

"Hiya Spike!" Sweetie Belle cheered as she pulled him into a spinning dance. The cutie mark crusader had not been spared Rarity's fashionable efforts. She wore a flouncy pink dress with a simple sapphire brooch and tiny golden crown. "Great party, huh?"

"Oh no," he groaned, "Don't tell me you've got the bug too?"

"Nah," she giggled, "I'm just playing along. This is the most fun I've had with Rarity in months!"

Seeing the opportunity to convert a foe to an ally in the fight, Spike took the chance. "Then you've gotta help us stop her! She's out of control!"

"Why?" She gave him a questioning look as they slid between two ponequins at the exact moment they swapped partners. "She's not doing any harm. And I'm having a great time!"

"But she's evil! She wants to drag the world into fashion kicking and screaming."

Sweetie Belle shrugged. "Maybe, but she's sort of... contained evil. She's been saying that for two days now but hasn't really done anything about it. Mostly she just sits on her couch, eats ice cream, and makes grandiose demands. She's not in any rush to expand her fashion empire outside the boutique. She's getting lots of rest anyway and I'm making sure she drinks enough and has her medicine. As long as nopony comes in the shop, she isn't bothering anyone."

Those... were actually sound arguments. He couldn't deny it. Rarity had only attacked once they'd invaded her space and effectively challenged her. Maybe... this was something they'd be better off left running it's course without interference?

"Twilight!" he yelled, "Sound the retreat!"

She sidestepped another dancer. "What? But Rarity-"

"Is in good hooves."

Twilight gave him a long look, noticing Sweetie Belle there as well, before nodding. "Alright. But you'd better explain once we get outside. Rainbow Dash!"

"Yeah?"

"Heads up, we're about to leave."

"Aw, and I was just starting to figure out their attack pattern."

With a swirl of magic about her horn, Twilight popped out of existence, leaving her dress behind. With two more pops, a fancy Prench suit and candy-themed dress also drifted to the floor, support-less.

"No!" the Marchioness wailed, "Get back here! Get back here and recognize my fashionable superiority!"

Sweetie Belle rushed to her side. "Worry not my Marchioness, they are fools not worth your time! If they wish to live in unfashionableness, then it is their loss!"

The Marchioness sniffed and blew her nose into her handkerchief. "Yes... Yes you're quite right Duchess. But they will learn. Once my empire covers all the land, they will know that fashion is justice and shall undergo a trial by style!"

"Of course, of course." Sweetie Belle patted her hoof comfortingly. "Now, I bet your throat is sore after all that yelling. How about some ice cream and maybe you can do my mane again?"

The Baroness of Bows, the Sultana of Style, the Khaleesi of Couture sniffled and smiled. "I think I'd like that very much."