The star system Omega Centauri was just another oddity on a map to scientists in the not too distant future. However when they found the star was orbiting an earth-sized, earth-like planet instead of a black hole as its motion had suggested, a mission was scrambled to investigate this most unusual of celestial behaviors.

Hamstrung by politics, and nearly crippled before it began, the 'Lone Ranger' mission was reduced to just one crew member and left to his own devices.

These are the logs of Arrow 18 and its lone commander. This information is classified TOP SECRET by the Global Space Agency.

Do NOT tell the princess.

Long ago Celestia imprisoned a powerful, dangerous entity. Too bad nobody seems to realize he's a harmless dope.

This story started out as a parody of the two stories Machinations in the Dark and Celestia's Prophet. You may wish to read them first to get some context for the first chapter.

Now has a tvtropes page!

Cuddles meet crusades, and hilarity ensues.

Ten years ago, the Griffon Empire opened a portal to a strange new world and tried to annex it. In the peace settlement that followed they lost control of the province containing the portal. Since then, the Griffonian Democratic Republic had been completely isolated, surrounded on all sides by a hostile empire. Now, for the first time, a visitor had been allowed.

A good Queen's job is never easy; if the world doesn't challenge them, they'll challenge themselves. Luckily, they have others that they can rely on to aid them.

But that can be hard to do, especially in times like these. The Cultural Exchange Treaty has thrown Changeling Hive Chrysalis into a radical state of change, and no one is sure how things will turn out.

But I am sure of this: I care, and I'll do whatever it takes to help her.

(This story is part of a larger continuity; for a full explanation of how it fits into the larger narrative, click here.)

Stargazer, a perfectly normal Canterlot mare, goes to have a perfectly normal chat with Celestia about changelings. Purely for academic reasons, of course. Okay, so most of that was a lie.

But lies are the stock-in-trade of a changeling Infiltrator, and some habits can be hard to kick, so cut her some slack; besides, she just got married, and that can be stressful.

Especially since her new spouse is a pony.

(This story can be read stand-alone, but also serves as a sidestory. Click here for an explanation of how it fits in with other stories.)

Dear Diary,
Looking back, a scientific, step-by-step plan is completely ineffective for social situations (Note to self: don't do them, ever). Inviting Princess Luna to a Pinkie Pie Hearth's Warming party, with a checklist of steps in your head, was an awful idea. There are too many variables that a checklist cannot prepare for, such as an entrancing outfit. The plan resulted in a spectacular failure of when awkward meets anxious.
For future use, a spreadsheet might be better.
- TS

A super-duper, awesomely-wonderful, amazing podcast review of this fic can be found here by Lapis Lazuli and Inky J! Seriously, they're great. <3
More Awesomeness! Doom Pie has done a super-duper reading for this fic! Thank you so much!

Cover art courtesy of the wonderful lovelyneckbeard, which can be found here.

When the Royal Wedding scatters defeated changelings all over Equestria, a member of the hive winds up being captured in Ponyville, tied up, stunned, repeatedly shot by a cannon, and held against his will.

The truly frightening part is he’s starting to like it.

Thank you to my twisted editors: Tek, Seether00, GameKnut, Cerulean Blue and Peter
The picture Pinkie Pie uses Party Canon is from Atmospark at DeviantArt

This story is listed as comedy⁽*⁾ because the author has an odd sense of humor. No changelings were harmed⁽¹⁾ during the production of this story, despite what the newspapers printed or the ongoing lawsuit from the ESPCA⁽²⁾. The management would like to remind all readers to spay and neuter your pets. Unless your pet is a changeling, in which case…

(*) Dark humor, to be exact. If you are someone who finds pleasure in the misfortune of others, enjoys watching the occasional inept chainsaw juggler or cheers during a NASCAR crash, welcome home. Also, get help.

(1) Excluding blunt trauma, thermal impingement, chemical exposure, radiation, thaumaturgic infusions, and confetti ingestion. All characters represented, including changelings, are the exclusive property of Hasbro, no matter what they may shout at you from between the bars of their cell. Any violence or pain inflicted on the changeling in this story was simulated on a stunt changeling with special effects and mirrors. Except for the cannon. There is no truth to the rumor that Queen Chrysalis provided the stunt changelings from a supply of disobedient changelings in her dungeon⁽³⁾.

(2) Equestrian Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Arthropods

(3) The Changeling Kingdom does not have dungeons. They have Call Centers. It explains a lot, actually.

Here is a link to some appropriate background music to listen to while reading: Piotr Tchaikovneigh’s 1812 Overture

Additional Note: This story is tagged Sex because it has the occasional reference to… well, sex. There are no explicit references, but there are things.

Looking over some of her old letters, Princess Twilight thinks of her adventures. One in particular struck her as odd. She ran with a theory and found evidence that implicates what seems like an otherwise innocent day of the week.

Seriously, a lot.

(Now with a Spanish translation by the generous SPANIARD KIWI!)