A good Queen's job is never easy; if the world doesn't challenge them, they'll challenge themselves. Luckily, they have others that they can rely on to aid them.
But that can be hard to do, especially in times like these. The Cultural Exchange Treaty has thrown Changeling Hive Chrysalis into a radical state of change, and no one is sure how things will turn out.
But I am sure of this: I care, and I'll do whatever it takes to help her.
(This story is part of a larger continuity; for a full explanation of how it fits into the larger narrative, click here.)
Chapters (8)
This story is great! Can't wait for more!
5009622 Will be updating once daily. The story is broken into three books, each of which has 7 chapters; 20 chapters are already written, leaving one.
There may be slight delays between books being uploaded, however, for various reasons (Including intended prologues for books 2 and 3, which are intended to include any information newcomers to FIM might need)
So you shouldn't have to wait long.
Awwww snap!
You finally pushed it out!
~Skeeter The Lurker
I'm really enjoying this fanfiction and the sheer quality of it.
More please.
I can just imagine Iqqel's thoughts after meeting Pinkie Pie.
"Oh god, now there's two of them"
5012611 The horror! The horror!
5012611 Remember this comment. It will become much funnier-in-retrospect in Book 2.
This fucking chapter man...
5030277
Iz rly gud.
5035230 I see that my fellow authors have determined to come here and flood my comments section with their eloquent, thoughtful analyses...
5035345
Only for you, love.
So is the rest going to be published as two other distinct stories?
5036362 That would be the plan, yes.
Wow...ok, me like this series WAY MUCH!! Well done, and i'm now very invested in Cheery and Chrissy...best of luck in writing and in your character's stories!!
5071963 Hey, thanks. Book 2 is already complete, but I was trying to write the Book 1 sidefics before publishing it. Kinda got held up, but now that I'm writing again, hopefully I'll be able to fix that.
Waitwait... so Krennet is more or less Iqqel's predecessor? The previous Queen's advisor? Hmmm.
5219114 The previous queen ran things a bit differently, but you could see it that way.
lol. Brilliant pun
Hah! That was Iqqel?! Nice to see thigns from her perspective
You know, I always thought she had a little... extra interest in Chrysalis in the Cheersalis fic
Ahh. And it was such a nice hive, too
Ohh. They're childhood friends, on top of everything.
*Nyer ships it so hard*
Jackpot!
Sooo... Pinkie is technically coming because she was invited to one of Cheersalis' parties? Oh, this is grand!
Oh. Dear. Gods. You did not just encourage someone to compete in partying with Pinkie Pie
Doooooooooomed!
It'd be nice if you actually gave any kind of indication what Iqqel is doing that makes Cheery unable to answer, though
Small remark:
> Everyone else seems to rely trying to read emotions, but that's so easy to trick.
I think you got a missing word there - "seems to rely [on] trying to read emotions".
It starts. The whole hive is going to be in a love-drunken stupor in a matter of hours
Whoops. Seems I accidentally posted this in the wrong chapter!
I swear, they have the attention span of a bunch of cats with ADHD doped up on amphetamines.
Called it
Yeah, but unlike pony, 'buggy' is a diminutive term, which sounds kind of weird when used like that
This fic has waaay too few views! I'm loving this!
btw, a way to get more views is generally to leave a few days between each chapter release. Maximize your front page release exposure time.
Another small remark:
> We both sat there, thinking for a moment.
there's a missing open line before this, to properly split the paragraphs
You know, I'd think she'd be happy to have the orange giggle monster out of her hair for a while.
...unless...
Wait, wait, wait. Is she actually jealous that her mad mirror image is taking time off?
Hee. Glorious.
Did you have any specific tun in mind for this?
Ahh. One of the Great Mysteries of the Universe, revealed... between scenes. Dammit.
They mixed Pinkie's essence into that spell somehow, didn't they?
I'm instantly reminded of this rather chilling humanized representation of the Too Many Pinkie Pies episode
I thought all ponies had that Musical Herd Instinct?
5219203
Small note: people don't get reply notifications if the reply isn't made in the same chapter as the comment that's replied on. So in other words, never reply on the fic's main index page, since that puts it on the last chapter. Always go into the chapter first.
I only saw this now I reached the last chapter
5226770 remember, Cheery was made so Chrysalis could do other things.
5012652
Two horrors--exactly right!
Wait, how'd the secret about Cheersalys get out? It was still a well guarded secret at the end of the last story. :/ Bah, ret conned, or have you yet to explain?
5583152 The two people speaking are high-ranking members of Chrysalis' administration.
5583314
But how did they know! At the end of the last book nopony/noling but Chryssie knew. So, did Chryssie tell them her little secret? That stands to reason, but I would've liked them to mention it were that the case. ^^
5226686
No, bad Nyer. : P *Swats at you with a newspaper.*
NO FAIR! I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN THIS FIC EXISTED!
6377907 How did you even find it after so long? It's not exactly on the front page.
6379973 Well the Cheersalis author told me.
6380062 Prane really is awesome like that, heh. I'll be posting Book 3 soon, since it's finished now; I'm just waiting on cover art. After that, I really suggest checking out Dichromatic - it's another of Prane's stories. In the meantime, have you read Snowboardling?
6380317 Yes. All of them.
You do far too good a job of capturing a desperate attempt at sounding erudite at the beginning of the chapter. Excessive commas, passive voice, immersion-disrupting world building...
It's clearly a stylistic choice, but that isn't made clear until later in the chapter. A key issue with fan fiction is that it's hard to tell when that sort of thing is intentional and when it's just a sign of bad writing. You're really not making a strong first impression.
The rest is intriguing, but I feel like I'm working with insufficient information. Still, I'm more intrigued than annoyed. Onward!
Oof. Peaceful interaction with Equestria is the best thing that ever happened to most changelings... and the implications haven't escaped Chrysalis at all. That's got to hurt. I actually feel sorry for Queen Cheeselegs, which is quite the feat to achieve.
Also, Iqqel's exhaustion is palpable here. Hearing how much better somewhere else is than here, day after day... That has to grind on you.
Oh dear. As if the hive wasn't undergoing enough social upheaval already, now it has to deal with colliding party equinoids. This could get messy.
Also, now I'm wondering how long Chryssy spent practicing her invasion speeches. She definitely seemed comfortable with herself then. I suppose ponies don't count when it comes to her stage fright.
Pinkie Pie
Love Radiation Hazard
Contents Under Pressure
Do Not Expose to Open Flames, Sugar, or Dangerous Ideas
Use Only as Directed
Pinkie picked up on changeling body language inside of a week. Color me impressed.
Dang it, Pinkie, stop force-feeding the changelings as soon as you meet them. Who do you think you are, Applejack?
Oh, that's why Cheery was so unsettled by Pinkie leaving. Well, that's a lot more innocuous than the reasons I suspected... assuming there isn't another layer of deception under that one. Still, a nice chance for Iqqel to get back to being Chrysalis's right hoof.
Also, you've captured the mad bounciness of Pinkie's thoughts to an almost terrifying accuracy. Well done.
I do love the symmetry of Chrysalis and Celestia both enjoying teaching the young.
Ah, we get all of the castes one after the other. Now that's immersive world building.
She's a changeling queen, Iqqel. Expecting her to be open and honest is like expecting Discord to organize his sock drawer. Still, there are a number of possibilities for Chrysalis's frustration. Jealousy, possessiveness, regret, even just annoyance at being interrupted. I'm leaning more towards the unpleasant reminder of emigration from the hive and the associated implication that she's failing her people.
You did fairly well with representing the musical number. As well as you could, anyway. Song to text is always an awkward transition.
It makes sense that Cheery is befuddled by the idea of Pinkie's friends helping her just because she asks. It's not like Pinkie's in a position of authority where she could command them to assist her. Cheery's the clone of a queen, doubly isolated from her people. She's probably never had an actual peer before. The only changeling who could be seen as her equal still comes across as an authority figure to her. This is unexplored territory for her. It will be interesting to see what she does in it.
Hmm. It makes sense that hive and queen share a name, much as the caste clusters share a name with the caste designators. Same concept on a larger scale. Of course, I say that without knowing if every queen of that hive bore the name Chrysalis.
And now each confronts the other's perspective on their biggest incongruity. Pinkie cedes, as she should. Cheery definitely knows Chrysalis better than she does. If the queen were as bad as Pinkie thought she was, she never would've opened the hive's borders.
Whoa. Way to call Pinkie's suspicions in the Season 5 premiere. And to appreciate the deeper aspects of her in general.
Hmm. There's something deeper going on here. Between Cheery knowing the secret-keeping mantra and their compatibility in the musical number... I'm actually not sure what to conclude.
More data is required. Good thing you've provided it.
6834543 Oh hey you started reading this recently too? nice.
6834572 What does "oof" mean anyway?
I think that the changelings lack a bit of appreciation towards their leader sometimes.
6838714
Oof. Interjection. An expression of pain, usually meant sympathetically towards the on on whom the pain is inflicted.
At least, that's how I usually use it. It's also appropriate after getting the wind knocked out of you.