Rarity discovers the meaning of happiness.

Stream-of-consciousness written in about an hour. Unedited.

A contest reward, written on the prompt: "Just write something comfy for yourself." I don't think the winner quite understood what he was getting into.

Rarity is good at making dresses. In fact, she's the best. But even she didn't know that her latest dress would be more than the fashion sensation of the season.

Now she was going to have to add wing-holes to all her outfits, and everypony seems worried about her latest creation.

At 3:15 AM, Adams woke me with a loud knock on my front door.
"Put your boots on," he said when I answered. "There's a biblical monster in my house."

* * *

A Visual Companion, by the author
Interview with the author, from the Royal Canterlot Library.
Audiobook by Robin Jacks and Wubcake.
Audiobook by Scribbler.
In-depth analysis by the Heroic Tales cast.
Literary Analysis by ScarletWeather.
Special thanks to GaryOak.
Reviews:
City of Doors
One Man's Pony Ramblings
PresentPerfect
Louder Yay
Between Lines
Bad Horse

It is said that these forests are enchanted.

The deerfolk weave strange magic, magic that can bind, and trick, and mislead. But to a pony with a sixth sense for danger, the woods hold no terrors.

Perhaps it is not the deer's enchantments which present the real peril.

Entry into the fourth Quills and Sofas Speedwriting Competition. Conceived and written in one hour; the prompt was "trapped inside". Given two minutes of fixing post-contest to remove a confusing line.

Old things die to make room for the new. That is the way of the world. But me? I watch the world grow old.

Thanks to RoMS and ROBCakeran53 for editing.

Cover art is by me. Pencil, india ink, and watercolor on paper.

Teleportation. It is the best possible way to travel... As long as you don't think about it too much. As long as you don't ask where Twilight goes in that split second when she's neither here nor there.

The sound I listened to as I wrote it, available to you in order to give you the option of having the same atmosphere.

No relation to the other story with the same name, just a coincidence of both picking the same excellent title. I was unaware that the other one existed.
Dramatic Reading by Charles Spratt | Second Reading by TheDizzyDan | Third Reading by Crafty Arts | Fourth Reading by Stormy787
Russian Translation 1 (by Aloz) | Russian Translation 2 (by Doof Ex Machina)

Crime was easy before Princess Twilight and the First Five ushered in a golden age of Harmony. Back then, any idiot could plan a robbery, just like any rat could sneak through the cracks in wooden granary walls. But now that everything is cloudstone and clearsteel, with magical countermeasures over the few remaining holes, it takes a different breed of rat to survive.

"Slippery" Jimmy the Grey is one of the rare few ponies who can still slip through the cracks — even with the legendary Rainbow Corps on his tail. Now he's got a billion-bit heist planned in the gleaming skyscrapers of Cloudsdale. If only he hadn't made the mistake of stealing from a dragon …

Now with a reading by Illya Leonov and Scribbler!

* * *

This is a crossover with Harry Harrison's Stainless Steel Rat novels, but it assumes no knowledge of the series.

Winner of February's Writeoff Association competition! * Featured by Equestria Daily! * Featured by Seattle's Angels!

REVIEWS: "Highly Recommended" by Titanium Dragon; "Recommended" by Present Perfect; rated "Why Haven't You Read This Yet?" by PaulAsaran

WORD OF MOUTH:
"The Iridescent Iron Rat was not only my favorite story from the most recent writeoff... it's my favorite story of anything I've read in months." —Sharp Spark

"What a ride it is. This story is made of awesome moments." —Casca, Seattle's Angels

"[A]stounding on so many levels. … If there’s one story from this round you have to pick, make it this one." —Corejo, Seattle's Angels

"Absolutely beautifully done. It fits the style and feel of the books to a perfect T." —Themaskedferret

There's a crime wave gripping the sleepy town of Apple-Morepone, and nopony on the City Watch seems to care. Corporal "Rainbow" M. Dash naps through her patrols, her partner Dobby is an infamous kleptomaniac, Captain Rhymes is a drunkard, and the entire Watch is a group of burnt-out misfits.

They're about to meet a batpony (adopted) by the name of Carrot, visiting town to return an overdue library book.

And none of their lives will ever be the same.

A crossover/homage to the "City Watch" books of Terry Pratchett's Discworld, written to be readable without any familiarity with the series (though they're excellent, and if you do read them you'll catch my Pratchett in-jokes).

Winner of Aragon's "Comedy Is Serious Business" Contest! "I was quoting this offline for days, forgetting where I was remembering the lines from. … This story made me legitimately jealous, both of its cleverness and of its funniness." –Contest judge MrNumbers

Rated ★★★★★ by Louder Yay! "The best comedy I've read in a long time."

"Highly Recommended" by Super Trampoline! (Video review here @ 09:17) "It's 13,000 words long, but it doesn't feel long, because so much fun stuff is happening."

Reviewed by Ghost Mike! "It features meticulously laboured-over prose, rhyming with actual metre for Zecora, perfectly-timed jokes and reveals that are often outrageous, a sneakily clever plot and character investment that works its magic throughout ... This is a phenomenally executed piece of work."

Other reviews: Present Perfect | City of Doors

Thank you to Themaskedferret and Caliaponia for prereading, and GaPJaxie for motivation/inspiration!

Troubled. Disturbed. Stabbed. Entombed.

Sometimes, when you're playing a word game with a magical princess from another world, the words you choose aren't just words.

Dramatic reading by Scribbler and Neighrator Pony!

Now has an authorized sequel, written by Cynewulf!

This is a brief "Humanized Pony Visits Earth" tale, based on a minific I wrote for (but was unable to submit to) the July 2017 "TBD" Writeoff.

Rated "Recommended" by Titanium Dragon! "While the Pony On Earth thing might put some people off, here I felt like it made excellent use of the idea … This is a short and punchy piece, and I think a lot of folks will find it worth their while."

Reviewed by Chris! "It's refreshing to read a story with a clear, explicit moral that nevertheless doesn't beat you over the head."

Reviewed by Present Perfect! "Peering into the darkness of one's own heart is difficult and painful. But this is also about the nature of goodness ... plus, it'll teach you a really unique driving game."

Thanks to Morning Sun for prereading/copy-editing changes, and to Titanium Dragon for the story description.

Princess Celestia sent her student, Twilight Sparkle, to meet five mares in Ponyville who will help set up the Summer Sun Celebration.

She just never said they'd be hot.

Chinese translation by SoothingBell!