This story is a sequel to Princess Celestia is in your bed.

It's hard to get rid of a sun goddess when she doesn't want to be gotten rid of.

Reading the prequel is highly recommended. Find Chapter 3 here!
Rated teen for mild language.
Now with audio reading by MelancholyIguana
Cover art by SilFoe.

Princess Celestia is in your bed, and you don't know why: what do?

Cute, funny, and short. Have fun reading!

Proofreading by RaylanKrios.
Now with audio reading by CaptainBron3y
Second audio reading by MeloncholyIguana.

Based on this story:
Princess Celestia is (still) in your Bed
Princess Celestia Has Stolen All Your Bed Sheets
Drunk CelestAI Is In Your Bed
Fimfic Authors Are In Your Bed
Princess Celestia is in Your Washing Machine

Ten years ago, the Griffon Empire opened a portal to a strange new world and tried to annex it. In the peace settlement that followed they lost control of the province containing the portal. Since then, the Griffonian Democratic Republic had been completely isolated, surrounded on all sides by a hostile empire. Now, for the first time, a visitor had been allowed.

There are a number of compounds the human body is incapable of synthesizing; these are found only in red meat. To save a dying human, Twilight asks her friends - except for Fluttershy - for advice.

Twilight Sparkle broke time when she got her cutie mark. Now Twilight and Sparkle are sisters from another time. Twilight is hailed as the potentially greatest light magician of all time, and already has a reputation as a hero by the time she goes to Ponyville. This isn't her story, not primarily.

Sparkle is an orphan - her dark magic killed her parents. She lives with her brother in Canterlot's industrial sector because they can't afford anything better. She can't leave either. She's a natural dark mage; while Sparkle won't go mad like Sombra, her reputation is hardly any better. Worse, the law doesn't see her as a good pony.

The fact that the dead don't stay dead around her, or that Thorn - Spike's double - is an undead, soul-eating abomination, are other matters altogether.

(Also has some Slice-of-Life, but fimfiction tags won't let me put it with Adventure.)

Has an ask blog to go with it: Ask Sparkle and Thorn.
Also has a TvTropes page: Split Second Tropes.

Featured on EQD.

Cover art by Swirling Line.

Rita Rainwater is a young human girl, and she just so happens to be a talented mage. After inventing a portal leading to the magical world of Equestria she meets up with intelligent ponies who seem keen on becoming friends with her. She has lived a hard life mostly alone, and now that she is stuck inside entirely new world a few questions are raised. Will she be able to coexist with the ponies? Will her broken heart be fixed? Will she ever go home again? And finally, Will she be able to conquer her fear of horses?

It has been one of the closest guarded secrets of Canterlot's royalty. Deep in a specially constructed dungeon, surrounded by warding spells and powerful magic barriers, exists an enigma. Within a cage that could only be described as something out of a nightmare, it waits and watches all of Equestria. A creature that cannot age, is immune to disease, does not thirst nor hunger, and resists all injury. But, it also holds secrets and knowledge that could safeguard the kingdom. Its powers are frightening, but it is civil enough for debate when patience permits.

Princess Celestia has sought counsel with the creature before, enduring it making deal after deal for its services. The Princess walks a fine line when dealing with it, knowing full well anything could give it an advantage despite its imprisonment. She has had to go back on her word in these dealings, and from this a deep animosity between them has been born. It is a necessary evil as she is convinced this is a being capable of untold evil far and above anything Equestria has ever dreamed of. So long as it remains within the confines of its cell, her kingdom is made safe. So much magic has been woven to ensure that, there is little chance of escape.

So long as the magic holds, there is no danger. So long as the cage remains strong, the nameless creature stays enthralled in his cavernous dwelling. If that were to change--if the magic failed--not even the wisest could say. But one thing is assured, it does not bode well for Equestria.

Shortly after the defeat of Tirek, Princess Celestia began conducting a series of controlled and discreet experiments with a diverse family of potion types, one that allowed their alicorn users to safely witness and analyze events of the past. On the eve of the last of these such trials, a particularly potent potion among the others transports the Princess to a mysterious event far earlier in time than she had originally intended. 50,000 years earlier, in fact.

Now she's in the presence of a group of funny-looking hornless minotaurs wearing business suits.

Owen awakes one morning to find tiny ponies populating his home. Like any rational person, he proceeds to cry like a little girl.

Sunset Shimmer had no idea why everyone was taking to this new girl so quickly. What does she have that she doesn't? Besides friends? And an endearing personality? And a cute butt.