Rita Rainwater is a young human girl, and she just so happens to be a talented mage. After inventing a portal leading to the magical world of Equestria she meets up with intelligent ponies who seem keen on becoming friends with her. She has lived a hard life mostly alone, and now that she is stuck inside entirely new world a few questions are raised. Will she be able to coexist with the ponies? Will her broken heart be fixed? Will she ever go home again? And finally, Will she be able to conquer her fear of horses?
Chapters (36)
Ant's are secretly trying to take over the world.
I would say that their almost as evil as wheels. XD
lol truth be told I had completely missed that typo.
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THATS how you get someone's attention
Yankee doodle went to town a-riding on a pony! He stuck a father in his cap an called it macaroni!
Come on, I can't be the only (American) person have the last scene remind him/her of that song!
Its a nice story so far.
One thing you might want to fix in chapters 3, 7 and 8 is Fluttershy's pet rabbits name. its Angel not Angle.
5257276 ugh, I completely missed that. Thanks. XD
I feel kinda silly now lol
With a description like this, you better add the sentence: "What can go right?"
N-not saying that there's anything wrong with it... *Fluttershy whimper*
Excellent story!
I like the story, but i don´t know if it is right, that she hates her world and everything, but at the same time she wants to go back. Maybe i missed something, but i don´t like it that she wants to go back, but at the same time not.
In one way it seems she is a battle proofed magician, but even if i know that she is only a little girl to, someone who was in a fight, should be maybe a bit....well, i don´t know matured?
It is not really bad, but it was something that i wanted to say.
5420251 Even if Rita does hate a lot of things in her world, it is still her home and she feels as though she belongs there. It's hard for her to adjust to the new world full of magical talking ponies, for someone who has never even considered such a possibility, it is a rather hard thing to adjust to.
Rita is very child like in some area's but one reason for that is the fact that she is still growing up. You will see as the story progresses that Rita takes violence very seriously, and is mature in ways that a normal person wouldn't be at that age.
I hope this helped. And thanks for reading my stories. XD
Isn´t it a bit to easy for them to convince her, that everyone is a nice pony?
I would not place it into my favourites right now, but i think it is a pretty nice story so far.
5420356 Well i guess i should not say that i know her already after a few chapters, but there is something i like about the story, i guess i like that girl somehow.
I would actually like that if she would become a mother figure for Rita, i think i really like that girl.
I maybe got the feeling, that she was a bit, well weird at the beginning, but i really start to like her. I think it helps that Fluttershy is one of my top ponys too.
Is she already adopted?
I really enjoy it
Now that i am through the whole story, i have to say that much of the questiones i had, were explained later in the story, so there was no need to ask. I really like the story, and i would not mind it if Fluttershy would be her Marefriend or Mother, but i guess it is going to be Marefriend.
Nice job i guess i want to take it into my favourites, the story only makes me feel happy till now. I like it that she is not the strongest Human i had seen, somehow weak but at the same time skilled.
5422994 Thank you, I'm really glad that you have enjoyed the story thus far. XD
Rita said sarcastically “Hello my name is Rita Rainwater, and I’m here to take over your land and eat all of your cake.”
I would say the same thing if I where in her feet.
okay not a fan of that shipping because of immature Spike, but right now i am okay with it.
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Actually it seems like cherished pet more than anything else. She sees Rita as her charge, sort of but not exactly at the level of an angel bunny.
I am surprised Angel hasn't done anything WORSE than substitute salt for sugar.
Umm, how much time has passed since her arrival? This feels like it all happened in essentially two days which feels too fast for her to develop THIS level of dependence. I can understand she's broken but the writing hasn't made me feel like enough time has passed.
5623512 its been almost a month. A lot of her adventures so far have been broken up by about a week's worth of time. The first act, if you will of the story was her being introduced to everypony. Now its about getting to know them more while she settles in. A large majority of this story will be taking place in act three which I'm not at yet.
Hopes this helps.
I like it, but after i have read that one Bleach(HIE) crossover, everything is so short.
I like that pairing i think, but i don´t remember why Applejack hate Rita.
Dawww, so cute!
Now admiring her gauntlet Rita heard Fluttershy ask. “What’s that do.”
You forgot a word there I think...
Umm, can you update the tags? I was expecting adventure and a straight story without a romance plot/subplot. Throw on a romance tag so people know what they're getting into. Otherwise, I can't say much about this chapter.
5670335 I personally like shorter chapters for most stories, of course some stories need longer chapters on average, but I feel like this one doesn't need a whole lot of long chapters. A lot of the books that I enjoy the most are written with a lot of short chapters so that its easier to pick up whenever you want, but for stories with longer chapters it requires more of a commitment to read through. Of course there will be some long chapters, but only when the story calls for it.
And I agree it is a cute paring, an awkward paring but a cute one. And Applejack doesn't 'hate' Rita, its just that Rita has not left a good impression on Applejack so far, and things are seeming to only be getting worse between the two of them.
Thanks for commenting, and for reading my story. XD
5671587 You're right about me needing to update the tags. I just wish that there were tags for mystery, and drama as well. But here we are, I think that these will do for now, and hopefully work for the majority of the story. Thanks for pointing out that the tags were out of date, I've been needing to do a tag update since I started working out the details of this story and it's universe with one of my friends.
I'm glad that you have enjoyed the story thus far, and I hope you continue to do so. XD
okay, usually i am excited if i hear something like that about Trixie, but somehow i don´t know what to think right now.
I hope you don´t make Trixie an idiot, or at least not totally.
Well i like that chapter.
Am i the only one that caught the little hints scatter across this chapter?
So the more this goes on, the more I think she went to the future rather than another similar dimension. My final question then is a simple one is Celestia actually Estelle?
Spike, Twilight personal guard ? Twilight is screwed
5775831 yeah, I'm getting a "Planet of the Apes" feeling myself. The only thing we need to prove it is for Dizzy to meet and recognize Rita or for her to find her crystal encased boot... or both. And as for the last part, i think descendant would be the safer assumption.
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Huh, I didn't think of that. That actually is a very clever way of doing "it was my planet all along!" Then again, she can also blame the inhabitants for destroying the rest of the world when they knew that weather manipulation would destroy it in her time.
5776833 Whatever happened, the ponies managed to figure out and succeed where the humans failed...
... Is anyone else thinking what I'm thinking?
This chapter needs to go through a proofreader or copy editor. Try reading the chapter out loud, you'll hear mistakes much easier than when you just read silently because "A women" should be an easily catchable mistake.
5823623 Thanks for pointing that out, I could have sworn that I had caught and fixed those mistakes when editing it. Guess I missed those two. XD
That cover art....young human girl have beard?
That scene there was really sweet.
5510829 But would you say that to Celestia on a cold wet day in stoke?
This doesn't feel right. I'm trying to figure out why but the ending feels abrupt and this whole chapter makes me feel like it was done just to get the story done and revolve old plot threads that people had guessed at earlier.
6567746 probably it feels that way because I had no understanding of how to properly introduce and use threads in a story when I was actively working on this. By this point in time, I've realized that I really just wanted to write about the character 'Rita' and kinda shoved her into the ponyverse without much thought into what I was actually doing. There were a lot of cool idea's that I had, but a lot of mistakes were made in the process. Since it's one of my oldest stories, the mistakes are made more evident as I attempted to fix them later on. If there is ever a sequel it will be better and I'll be sure to grab an editor for it before hand. The same will be said if I end up doing a complete and total rewrite to the story, to make it fit more with the universe I actually pulled Rita from.
Before I do any of that though, I really need to finish writing Rita's story, the one that has absolutely no connections to the Ponyverse
I'm right when I say that character is based on Rita from tales of vesperia right?
Yup these are the characters from tales of vesperia