//------------------------------// // A Cat and the Ace of Roaches // Story: Split Second // by wille179 //------------------------------// "A drink?" the well-groomed pegasus offered his guest. "Juice? Or perhaps something with some kick?" "Oh, no thank you," she declined. "I'm good." "Yes, you are," the pegasus said wistfully. The unicorn mare across from him cocked her head. "Pardon?" The white pegasus poured himself a drink from a wine bottle under his desk. It wasn't wine. "Nothing. Just an old soul's rambling, I suppose." The unicorn seated across the mahogany desk leaned in. "How old are you, anyway? I can never tell with you bloodsuckers." He smiled. "Old for a pony, young for a vampire." "Is that so?" She leaned back in her chair. A green aura blossomed from her horn, bringing a small cigar and lighter to her mouth. As the roll caught fire, a strange odor filled the room, smelling nothing like any tobacco the pegasus had ever smelled. "Well, I don't have all day, and I'd assume you don't, either. Shall we get this show on the road?" "I am afrait zat zis meetink vill hafe to vait for now," a colt's voice said, coming from the stallion's immediate left. He jumped, certain that he had been alone with the mare in his office. Furthermore, from where he was seated, he could see the only door to his office, and it hadn't been opened. The vampire looked left. "Kätzchen, hasn't anypony ever told you not to sneak up on ponies like that?" The earth pony colt put on his best innocent look. "Zey have, yes, but I didn't lischten." He reached a gold-colored hoof into his saddle bags. "Guy, Mama Bear needs you back at zee headquarters for a time." "It's Dreamweaver," the unicorn insisted. "Don't call me Guy." "You are Guy under zat mask you vear. Guy zee unicorn, Guy zee changeling, same difference," Kätzchen replied, still digging through his saddle bags. "Ah, here it is." The oddly feline-looking colt glanced at the envelope. "Nope, zat is for Battery and Boura. Ah ha! Zis one's for you, Kart Gambit. Mama Bear vants you to rekruit zis mare at any kost, vat efer it takes. Sche is - how do you say? - mission kritikal. You have a veek." Card Gambit accepted the envelope from the Germane colt. As he opened it, he said, "I will see to it." His eyes glanced at the name on the page. "Wait, this might be-" He looked up. Kätzchen was gone. "-a problem. Now how in the world does an earth pony even vanish like that?" "Beats me," Dreamweaver replied. "I've got a sister in Ponyville who says a mare there is prone to popping out of the strangest of places." "Except that there are at least two dozen guards between here and the doors to the building," Card gambit replied, irritated. “The kitten shouldn’t have gotten in.” The false unicorn raised an eyebrow. "Anyway, I mustn't keep Ursa waiting; sorry that we couldn't get anything done." "Don't be. It wasn't your fault. What Ursa Major wants, Ursa Major gets. Go; I'll see you eventually." "Thanks," Dreamweaver said as she stood. Once the door to his office had clicked shut, Card Gambit slumped down in his seat. "Did you know about this, Mama Bear?" He looked back at the envelope. "How in Tartarus am I going to get you to work for her?" It had taken him an afternoon to track her down and twenty minutes to fly with his vampiric bodyguards to her apartment building; that was the easy part. Now came the hard part. Card Gambit shrugged; no time like the present, he supposed. Reaching out a hoof, he knocked thrice on the apartment door. “Coming!” A muffled voice shouted from the other side. The door swung open. “Can I- Gambit.” She glared at him. “Well, there goes my mood. So... How can I help you?” she said in a faux-cheerful voice. “You’re looking a bit dead on your feet; should I help you with that?” “Perhaps you can,” Card replied. “But perhaps I can help you more.” “I don’t need any help from the likes of you.” “I’m sure you don’t. However, there is a difference between need and want.” He smirked. “I’m sure you’ll want what I’m offering.” She looked at him hard. “If it involves killing, I’m out.” “If we need something dead, we have ponies for that,” the criminal assured. “No, Dusk, the group I’m representing, has other goals for you. Nopony is going to make you kill anypony, although you certainly can if you want.” Sparkle considered. Whatever he was offering wasn’t immediately too harsh to stomach, and he claimed to be representing something called “Dusk.” Knowing that he was an ambitious crime boss willing to go to great lengths to support his power - including taking on vampirism, apparently - the fact that he placed something above himself caught her attention. “Come in. Have a seat. I’ll get you something to drink.” Card Gambit and his two guards trotted into the apartment. Contrary to his expectations, the apartment was decorated in bright colors, rich golds, and ornately crafted decorum. On the wall lay a carving of a six-pointed star over a spiral, upon which were a set of unicornian words, written in their glyphs, that the pegasus couldn’t read. He did recognize the symbol, however, as it belonged to the House of Twilight. He searched his memory. The House of Twilight was a branch house of the Noble House of Dawn. He’d heard that the House of Twilight and the House of Dawn were both practically extinct, and that the latter had severed all ties with the former almost ten years ago. If this mare was a member of that defunct house, both the timing and the reasons of such an action now made sense. Sparkle returned three mugs in her magic. The scent wafting from each reminded him of blood, but not exactly. She passed a mug to Card and each of his bodyguards. He took a sip, shuddering as the delectable liquid rolled down his throat. His eyes widened. There was magic in it. “It’s blood wine diluted in tea, one part in a thousand.” Card smiled at the unexpected treat, and took another sip. “If I don’t like what you have to say, the amount you’ve already ingested will instantly turn into a poison strong enough to dissolve your brain, permanently. Start talking.” One of the guards did a spit-take. “What!” “I’m waiting.” He hummed. “Well played, Ms. Sparkle. You would have done well in business with an attitude like that. Now, as I said, I am here on behalf of Dusk. We want to offer you a research position. Provided you produce practical results from time to time, you have free rein to study anything you desire, and will have the full resources of Dusk to back you up, no questions asked. So really, just like any other research position, just with a blank check and no pesky regulations stopping you.” “Interesting,” Sparkle said. “But what is Dusk, what are their goals, and what sort of ‘practical results’ are they asking for?” “Ah, you see, Dusk is not a what, but a who. We are a conglomeration of vampire covens and other supernatural beings who have allied together under our leader. We call her Mama Bear. As for what we want, like any large group, we want many things. But what unites us is power, and our drive to acquire it.” Jackpot. “And how do I fit into this?” Sparke questioned. “We need your magic. It costs you nothing but time and effort to help us become stronger. Whatever you need for your rituals, we can provide. In return, we’ll give you whatever you need to further your own skills. Need cadavers? Done. Need blood? Done. Gems, metals, secret texts, test subjects? Done, all of it. “Furthermore, we will pay you generously. Not to the same extent as our last dealing*, of course, but well enough that you won’t ever yearn for money again,” Card explained. “And what are we talking, number-wise?” “Oh, three million bits annually, plus commission work, and a sizeable research budget,” the vampire pegasus replied. Sparkle thought. She rubbed her mechanical hoof up against her lips, idly exploring the contours of the machine as she pondered. “Meh, why not. Just leave my brother, son, and apprentice alone, and we’ll have no problems.” Gambit blinked. “Really?” His confused expression rapidly morphed into a beaming grin. ‘“Fantastic. Welcome aboard, then.” From the envelope that Kätzchen had given him, he withdrew a letter to Sparkle that Mama Bear had written for her. “Mama Bear will love meeting you; I think you’ll have much in common.” Sparkle raised an eyebrow as she grasped the letter in her magic. The mare skimmed its contents quickly. “This works. Tell her I’ll be there.” “That I can do.” Sparkle smiled. “Now, would you kindly show yourselves out of my apartment?” Card Gambit found himself standing and then walking to the door straight away. He’d later miss-remember the moment as him walking away normally, still unaware of the compulsions she’d placed on him all those months ago. The moment he crossed the threshold of her door, he paused and looked back over his shoulder. “Thank you for the body, by the way. It feels better than my old one.” “Fourteen hundred hoof-lengths, Gambit. That’s how far I can reach with significant precision, and how far you have to go before I can’t liquefy you and your grunt’s brains,” Sparkle replied. They broke into a dead sprint. “Good boy.” Sparkle shut the door and picked up the three mostly-full mugs. Eyeing it for a second, she shrugged. “Meh, it was my blood anyway. And no sense in wasting good tea,” she muttered before downing the rest of the drinks. “Thorn,” she said over the link. She’d opened it when she’d gone to get the drinks, and as such, he’d seen everything and had been privy to her every thought. “Finally,” the dracolich replied. “I didn’t expect that to just fall into our laps, but there’s no way we’re wasting this opportunity.” The mugs went under the faucet’s stream, cleaning them out. “You’re right. It’s a shame; I was looking forwards to working with Squad Six. Hey, how long do you think it will take us to take over?” “Dusk, or Canterlot? ‘Cause you know some of those vampires are in some really high places.” “Both. Either,” Sparkle thought back. She quickly dried the mugs and put them on her shelf. Thorn pondered for a moment, holding his musings private from his mother. “A month before you’re irreplaceable and they’re eating out of your hooves. Maybe two before you could seriously take over without any complaint. By March, I think you could rival some of the nobles in power.” Sparkle hummed. “So, zee mission vas a success, Kart Gambit?” Kätzchen asked, peering over his dark sunglasses. Card jumped. “Please don’t startle me like that,” he said as he turned around. While looking at the messenger through similar lenses, he answered, “Yes. It was. She’ll be there.” Kätzchen stood leaning against the sun-warmed stone of the building’s walls. The messenger clicked his tongue. “Fantaschtik! Ursa Major vill be pleaset.” “Is that all?” Card asked. The messenger of Dusk shook his head. “Nein. Gehen Sie nach Hause. Relax. I vill be in touch.” Card nodded once and spread his batlike wings. His guards did the same, and they took to the skies. Kätzchen, meanwhile, didn’t vanish immediately to who-knows-where. Instead, he looked over at a gray-suited pony, who was watching him from across the street. Kätzchen waved his hoof enthusiastically. “Hey! Is eferyzing on time today, herr Observer?” The gray pony nodded, although his face remained as blank and expressionless as ever. “Zat is great news!” They turned and looked away from one another. In the space of a blink, in a moment when nopony was watching, both of them vanished from the street, as if they had never been there. Luna lifted herself gently from the cooling, sudsy bath water. Sweet incense sticks sat nearby, filling the humid air with the scent of flowers. Helping Hoof, the princess's personal maid, offered her mistress a warm, fluffy towel. "Thank you, Helping Hoof." "It's my pleasure." After drying her coat and wrapping her mane in a second towel, Luna asked, "What flavor have you picked for me tonight?" "Mint, your highness. It is the classic," the maid replied. In her time working for the recently returned princess, Helping Hoof had grown accustomed to her employer's odd obsession: toothpaste. Princess Luna had discovered toothpaste when she had returned, having never had anything like it when she had left. Dental hygiene had been poor in Equestria at that time, with only chewing on sticks providing any sort of dental care - care which Luna's regenerative abilities made moot. Coming back to find that now there was a paste that could make her mouth feel good was a pleasant surprise. Now Luna had already tried every flavor on the market, and had gone so far as to commission her own flavors. But mint... "That sounds lovely." What wasn't lovely was the cloud of ash that had somehow drifted through the air vents of the bathroom and ignited beside her. As the ash burned - or un-burned - a small package materialized and plopped onto the counter. “What is this?” Luna picked up the package, which was addressed to her, and magically opened it. She lifted out it’s contents: an ugly, roughly crafted necklace and two folded pieces of paper. On one of the papers was the words ‘Read Me First.’ The letter, which she quickly discerned was from Sparkle, described in detail the seal release states of the vampires. It also said that the necklace was a key created to regulate the seals of any vampires she had unlocked previously, namely Squads Three through Six and Lieutenant Ironwood. And somehow, despite granting the mistress of the night more insight into the inner workings of vampirism, the cut-and-dry text was so abysmally bland that she found herself struggling to read it. In fact, it almost seemed to be engineered to be dull. Setting aside the letter, she eyed the pendant. It was a rough thing, thrown together by a mare with no experience in craftsmanship. The jewels were simply glued onto the wooden medallion and metallic strips weaved haphazardly between them. Putting them down, she picked up the next letter. Luna, It has come to our attention that there are better paths in life that we could be taking. We jumped at a new opportunity to do exactly what my (Sparkle’s) cutie mark is telling us. Necromancy is our gift, and like a fox, we quickly followed our hearts. You might call us crazy, but we are not crazy at all. Never before has our path been so clear. The world is our oyster; all we have to do is take it. We quit.                                              -Sparkle and Thorn P.S. Celestia, you tried, but you couldn’t crack us. Rot in tartarus. Guy snapped the pony's neck and, for good measure, used a hoof, shifted to a razor sharp edge, to slice her victim's throat open. She looked up. She could feel that blast of goddess-tier rage from here. It was worse than last week's rage burst, where Luna smashed windows with her voice alone. Guy shrugged and donned her victim's face. As she trotted out of the room, she couldn't help but wonder what she would like to be least. The mare who crossed Dusk, like that poor sap lying in a heap? Or the doomed soul about to face the Nightmare's wrath. She paused. "Definitely that dead lump." "CELESTIA!" "Luna, what's wrong?" her worried sister asked as Luna burst into Celestia's room. "This!" She shoved the letter into Celestia's face. "That necromancer has taken our generosity and spat in our face. Never have I been so insulted." Pushing the letter aside for a moment, the solar princess asked, "Are you sure?" Luna snorted. "Of course I am sure, sister. She has plainly stated that she has left us to practice the most heinous of magic, and has gone as far as to wish you to tartarus." Celestia sat down on her rug. "How... I tried. I tried to keep her. I thought she was going to fight for good. A good necromancer." She sighed slightly. "A pipe dream. How could I have been so blind?" Luna frowned, looking down at the floor. "I do not know, sister, but it seems that I was blinded as well." When Celestia didn't respond immediately, Luna looked up. She saw that Celestia bore a puzzled expression on her face. Celestia was holding something else in her magic, a scrap of paper on which the words "Sorry, Celəstia" were written. "'Tia?" Celestia picked up the momentarily discarded letter and read through it. "Couldn't crack..." The white princess blinked, and then shot up as if she had been electrocuted. She bolted to her desk and grabbed a quill. Furiously, she started writing in the margins of the letter. Luna looked over her shoulder and saw Celestia write this: Key = E Code = OLUJXHYGXHZZNAWI A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z A B C D "Luna, it's a cipher! That letter isn't real - this is the real message!" Celestia exclaimed triumphantly. "A cipher? What could be... Oh." "Exactly," Celestia replied, knowing Luna had already figured out the gist of the message. "Sparkle and Thorn say..."