Interlude - Class Scheduling
They were nervous, incredibly so. Rumors said that this one week workshop was the hardest class taught at Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns. It was one that every guard, regardless of tribe, took at some point in their career, and only guards could take it. Some said some ponies had quit being Royal Guards because of this class; still others said there had been dozens of suicides linked to the class. But nopony would say just what the class was, other than its name.
Defense Against the Dark Arts, by Sparkle and Thorn.
There was paperwork involved, and lots of it. More than two dozen forms and fifty signatures were required to get in, and some of the wording was fairly ominous sounding.
Yet when they got to the class, they saw not a dungeon of pain and torture, nor an overly sterile operating theater-like room, but a brightly lit room filled with sun flowers and motivational posters. And the teacher, instead of being some old crone or a horribly scarred warrior, was a beautiful young mare in an orange sundress.
When the first period bell rang, she stood from her seat behind the desk and addressed the hundred plus stallions and mares in the audience. "Hello everypony! I'm Ms. Sparkle, and I'll be your Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher this week." Her voice was chipper and crisp, clearly heard across the room. "Now, before we begin, I have a few housekeeping duties, and a few announcements to give you before we can officially start."
"First, roll call. I want everypony in this room standing, and if I call your name, sit down. We can sort out those left standing when I'm done. I'm going to go fast, so just sit if you hear your name. Anvil, Arrow, Brick Breaker, ..."
...
"...Shining Armor. I didn't know you were in here. Hm... Anyway, Shining Shield, ..."
...
"... and Xylophone. I see we still have some standing. If I didn't call your name, you didn't turn in the appropriate forms. Bring them down to me if you have them, else just come down here and wait by the podium," she concluded.
When the shuffling had subsided, three ponies were left remaining by her podium, one of which was wearing a staff badge. "Ms. Sparkle, I am here representing the university to inspect the proceedings of this class," the stallion proclaimed.
"Do you have the forms the rest of the class submitted?"
"No. University Staff are allowed to attend any class without being students," the stallion spoke in his arrogant voice.
"Fine. You three," Sparkle said to the three undocumented ponies, "I'll deal with you in a moment." She turned to the rest of the audience. "Welcome everypony. Some quick announcements. Firstly, I have recently acquired some new, rare texts, so I now know more ways to prepare you. I want you to live long and happy lives; this will help with that. Secondly, this is a pass-fail course. Making it to the end counts as a pass, failing at any time will see you removed from this class. To those who fail, there will be one remedial session this Saturday for a chance to pass; it will be much harder than this class. Thirdly, and this is most definitely, absolutely, positively unrelated to this class, but the things I like are: cash, ponies buying groceries for me, dinner dates, and a good word to my superiors that I deserve a raise. Any questions?"
"Yeah," a unicorn stallion in the front asked, "are you going to be teaching us light magic?"
"How about this," Sparkle returned. "Why don't you come down and help me demonstrate the first lesson? Hm? It will even count as extra credit., Mr. ...?"
"Sharp Sword, ma'am. Sure, I'm game." He stood up and trotted down next to Sparkle. "So...?"
"Stand right here and face the audience." He did so. Suddenly, and without warning, Sparkle whirled around and kissed him full on the lips. He stiffened up in surprise. "You're dead. You fail."
She turned back to the class, which was gaping in surprise. "Now, can anypony tell me what Mr. Sword did wrong?"
When silence greeted her, her smile faded. "No?" She pointed back to Sharp Sword, who had yet to move, with the exception of a trickle of blood oozing out his mouth. "Sharp Sword got close enough for me to touch him." The aforementioned stallion collapsed like a marionette with cut strings. "He assumed that light magic is the defence I'm teaching. That is a different class."
"You three, you entered this room without the proper paperwork. I know for a fact that all the ponies who are supposed to be here got those packets and read the information within; you three did not." The three ponies to her side gulped at her dark tone. "You entered a dangerous situation without the necessary information. You're dead." A beam of dark magic struck the first, leaving naught but an ash cloud. "You're dead." The second fell like the first.
"No! Please! Don't kill me!"
"You're worse than dead." Bizap. She turned to the class. "That didn't hurt them at all."
Another dark beam shot out from her horn, striking the fallen Sharp Sword, who suddenly found himself able to move again. "You are dismissed, Sharp Sword."
Addressing the class, she spoke, "Nopony died. Those spells, disguised as something far worse, very well could have been exactly what you saw. Or not. Your senses could be ensnared to see any number of horrific scenes, or," – the image around Sparkle seemed to shatter like glass, falling away to reveal a skinny mare with demonic eyes and a twisted horn – "a pleasant one, as the case may be."
Like her, the room seemed to shatter, revealing bloodstained walls, corpses hanging from the ceiling, and that a third of the class wasn't actually alive. The whole room was full of the stench of rot, hidden until that moment. Some ponies shit themselves, others vomited, and most screamed.
Then the air shattered again, and the room was once more an ordinary lecture hall. The specters that had posed as students evaporated into thin air. "I know for a fact that there is at least one illusionist in this room; you should have spoken up. If something seems wrong, it is and you should say so," Sparkle scolded the room. "You have one hour to clean yourselves up. Be back here before time is up, or don't come back at all. I don't care. Dismissed."
"That was horrible," Shining told his sister.
"No, it was pragmatic. Maybe I can get most of them to quit."
He sighed. "Sparks, you're supposed to be teaching us to defend ourselves, not scaring us to death."
"Being scared to death is a valid way to kill; I know three spells that do just that. But the best way to survive is to not be there in the first place. Nopony who doesn't pass this will be on a dark mage task force, you know that. And nopony who does pass this class will be cocky enough to do something stupid out there. I've seen the statistics; we've lost less ponies per incident to dark magic under my teaching than under anypony else. Ever."
"I know," Shining relented.
Sparkle chuckled. "Go get cleaned up, Shiny. What would Cadance think if she saw you with vomit all over you?"
"Hey! It's not my fault he barfed all over me!"
"You mean when you barfed all over you. I was watching." She chuckled again and left him sputtering in angry embarrassment.
"I'm glad you are all back. Now that I have your undivided attention, I can finally get down to business. During morning lecture, I am going to try and break your minds. During your afternoon practicals, Thorn is going to try and break your bodies. By the way, he's an undead dragon." Gasps sounded, echoing throughout the room. "Passing here is living, failure is death. In here, it's you versus us, just like in military squads. There is no such thing as cheating in here if it keeps you alive.
"At the beginning of class, I gave out a list of things I like. You may bribe me with those things, as there is a very real chance of bargaining with dark mages being successful in reality. Further, they are generally prideful and arrogant by the time they get dangerous, so use whatever you have to buy time.
"The best chance of you living to fight another day is knowledge and a heaping helping of humble pie. There are no fancy tricks, no 'unbeatable' spells. And there is NOTHING honorable about what I am going to teach you.
"So, any ideas of heroics must die here. Doctors are heros; you are soldiers.
"Now, who here can tell me the single most dangerous spell in the unicorn arsenal?"
A hoof went up. "If you were going to say a fireball, you fail," Sparkle called out. The hoof went down. "I thought so."
"No, the correct answer is telekinesis. Both alone and as a fundamental to more advanced magic, telekinesis is extremely dangerous because it is so versatile. From turning anything in the environment into a weapon, defending the user, or outright manipulating the opponent's body to potentially lethal extremes, TK is the unicorn fighter's bread and butter. Scratch that; outside of a few utility spells, TK should be all you use. I fear not the pony with a thousand spells practiced once each, but one spell practiced a thousand times.
"As for your opponents, there is no way to predict how they will attack you, or even if they will attack you in a way that makes logical sense. I aim to expand your mind to the possibilities, and when I'm done with you, you might just survive.
"Now, before I forget, this class is a level three secret; discussion of the events that happened within these walls is strictly forbidden, punishable by five months in jail. Furthermore, the magic I will be using for you and in some cases on you is highly restricted. I am a licensed, natural dark mage.” Shrieks of fright punctuated her statement. “I know what I’m doing and I can do it without shredding my mind to pieces. You, however, cannot.
“Do not copy me.”
The students that walked out of that hall at lunch time had no appetite. All were sick to their stomachs, and frequent dry heaves were a common sight among them. A fifth fewer in number than when they started, each and every one of them had a haunted look to their eyes.
When asked what was wrong, Arrow, a pegasus archer, would reply, “Unicorns are bucking scary.” He would say no more on the subject, although he would jump and scream at the slightest provocation.
Overall, the mood was quite somber. Sparkle had gotten under their skin, and they knew it. Crowds parted around the mare in the orange sundress, and those who knew what lay underneath would move that much faster.
Funnily enough, Sparkle quite enjoyed that aspect of her rather fearsome reputation. Considering her snout was buried in a book, it let her walk and read without fear of bumping into another pony.
A healthy, beautiful mare of similar age to most of the students, with an adorkable book walk, and that wasn’t visibly bothered by the unusually depressing atmosphere happened to be quite attractive to the general student body. Especially if the majority of that student body didn’t connect the mare in the orange sundress with Canterlot’s resident necromancer.
It was their mistake. Sparkle found it funny, regardless.
Hoofball captain Long Shot didn’t know why ponies seemed to swerve out of their way to avoid her. She was gorgeous! Maybe she was parting the crowds with her innocent beauty? Of course, that was it.
Navigating through the unusually crowded dining hall, he sat down opposite from her chosen seat. “Hello. Name’s Long Shot. I haven’t seen you here before. Are you a transfer, Ms. ...?”
“Mmm...” She looked up from her book. “Did you say something? I was a bit distracted by this really good book about... you wouldn’t care. Nevermind.”
“I said I’m Long Shot,” he reintroduced himself. “Try me. I might be a jock, but I got in on brains.”
“And I’m dodging your question. Sparkle.” She held out her hoof in greeting.
“Charmed. So, what’s your major? I’m a theoretical thaumatician studying spin-theory under Professor Hex.”
“Don’t have one,” she replied.
“Undecided? That’s cool,” he replied. “Might I suggest theoretical thaumaturgy? I might be a bit biased, but I’d think a pretty mare like you would be good at it.”
“Meh,” Sparkle replied noncommittally. “That’s not my cup of tea. I’m more of a practical girl myself. Thank you for the compliment. I should wear this more often.” She suddenly looked around, making excessive movements in a - successful - effort to make Long Shot look around too. “You’re quite brave,” she commented when her eyes finally reconnected with his, “sitting here with me.”
“What?” Suddenly, the little details that he hadn’t consciously noticed came to the forefront of his mind. His head whipped around, sending his long, blond mane flying. “What the buck. Why are they all staring at us?”
“Because,” she whispered, leaning in close to his face, “they know.”
“Know what?” he asked nervously, suddenly feeling quite paranoid.
“They know where the monster is.” Despite being barely a whisper, something so quiet he shouldn't have been able to hear it, the words reverberated down to Long’s core. He finally looked at her.
It wasn’t an illusion she wore, but an idea. She couldn’t make someone see something, but she could convince ponies that they were seeing what she wanted them to see. It depended on two factors: relative will of the caster and supporting magic. At the strength she had it set to now, it would only stop those who didn’t know and weren’t looking for the truth.
Her eyes, so close to his own, made him jump back in fright, but he’d only taken a single step away before a force lifted him up by the collar of his jersey. Lifted off his hooves, it turned him round until he was face-to-face with the most terrifying visage he had ever seen, and a predator’s at that.
Every instinct in his body told him to freeze, and only then did he notice how dead silent the dining room was. “You’re in my spot,” the raspy voice of the drake droned.
It was like ice in his veins. He would have said his life was flashing before his eyes, but the truth was there was nothing going through his head; it too was completely frozen in fright.
Suddenly, he was moving, though not of his own volition, but had been slid across the floor until he painfully collided with the leg of another table.
“Thorn!” Sparkle yelled as the drake took the stallion’s seat across from her. “That was uncalled for; we are not in class.”
“Sorry.” He said loudly enough to be heard by the stallion who was standing up and dusting himself off. That was enough to break the tension in the room and get muted conversations started up again. “But, if I recall correctly, you were just messing with him, weren’t you, Ms. we’re-not-in-class-behave.”
She opened her mouth, closed it, and opened it again. “Yes, you’re right. But in my defense, I was following through with the act.”
“Oh? What was it this time?
She smirked. “Oh, you know, I just told them I’d eat the soul of anypony that talked with me during lunch.”
“A classic,” Thorn agreed. He picked up the steak off his tray. “Though, the soul-eating is more my thing. A juicy steak or plump emerald is just as good.”
“I know.”
"This, right here, is why we only teach trained guards," roared Thorn. Many were lying on the grass in various states of wellbeing. Some were bloody, some had broken bones or pulled joints, and every last one of them were broken in spirit. The field, formerly a hoofball practice field, looked more like a warzone than any athletic location.
And to top it off, neither Thorn or Sparkle looked out of breath. The keyword being looked, as they were running on empty magically speaking. It was through sheer force of will that Sparkle maintained the illusion of invincibility, and through sheer force of will that Thorn didn't follow his instincts and make a meal out of all the 'easy prey' before him.
"Maggots, those of you still here, you passed today's lesson. Tomorrow will be much, much easier. Show up, or you'll be with me in remedial, which is worse." The dragon, quintupled from his normal size, began to shrink rapidly and was normal in the time it took him to say, "Dismissed."
Sparkle trotted over to help her brother up. The first words out of his mouth were: "You are a horrible, evil, disgusting pony and I hope you rot in Tartarus."
"Shiny... I also accept bribes in the form of compliments and hugs."
His mood did a one-eighty. "You are the best damn little sister a colt could ask for. Your teaching skills are so phenominal that there is no doubt that even an idiot like me would pass this class. Ow."
"Much better. Now, let's stagger on home before we drop dead. Ok?"
"Yeah."
"And to think, there's only six more days of this to go."
"Rot in Tartarus, Sparkle."
"I love you too, Shiny."
Stats
Page generated in 0.035 seconds
Total duration
896 users online
1,325,881 hits today, 2,561,572 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
" Her eyes, so close to his own, made her jump back in fright, but he’d only taken a single step away before a force lifted him up by the collar of his jersey. Lifted off his hooves, it turned him round until he was face-to-face with the most terrifying visage he had ever seen, and a predator’s at that." Shouldn't it be 'made him jump back in fright' ?
But lovely evil chapter, practical and downright diabolical for what one shouldn't do.
5535601
Fixed.
I really should get an editor.
5535648 Glad to be of help. And its very blink and miss it.
5535659
The thing with "blink and miss it" things is, as the writer, you already know what it's supposed to say, which overrides what you actually see on paper. Things like that, where it is a single word off, are devilishly tricky to catch unless you're reading it for the first time.
5535669 Given the flow and structure, it comes across as He here.
5535797
You're right.
5533624
Allow me to re-explain.
Yes. Everyone, good and bad, has taken a level in badass. Further, in this version of Equestria, a special talent magically augments that pony's ability to perform that talent. If two ponies with similar experience in an area compete, the one with the mark for the activity will always trump the one without it in a fair competition.
Twilight/Sparkle's talent is general light/dark magic. If she were to fight an offensive specialist, she would be crushed. If she were to attack a defensive specialist head-on, she would tire herself before she broke through. Twilight/Sparkle can do more thing than most ponies, but she can't do them better. It's a quality vs. quantity type thing.
Granted, Sparkle cheats if it's life-or-death, but then again, so do her enemies. And Twilight "cheats" because she is fed information that she otherwise couldn't have known.
Still, I will take your warnings to heart and do my best to keep them from being too overpowered, both physically and plot wise, and make sure that everything makes sense. The route I have planned for the plot will have Sparkle gradually facing tougher and tougher challenges, with only Thorn as a real ally. Twilight has her friends and the elements to support her; Sparkle is alone. Make of this what you will.
Explanations that are coming still:
-Where Sparkle gets her power.
-Why ponies originally and still think of Sparkle as scum, despite her actions to the otherwise.
-Why mistakes can hurt her so much.
I promise that any concerns you voice, I will try my best to use them to write better.
Twilight is identical to canon, personality-wise, in my non-professional opinion. Meanwhile, also in my non-professional opinion, Sparkle is a high-level nutcase. I feel the sudden need to reiterate that my opinion is non-professional, and is to be disregarded if it doesn't match yours. Or you could respect it, in spite of, or maybe even because of, the fact that you might not agree with it. Your choice.
5536143
That's how I envisioned it.
5536151
...my non-professional opinion matched up with your vision for this story? WHAT MADNESS IS THIS?!
...but seriously, this story is shaping up to be a great one. While I can't criticize it at this time, I'd be happy to do what I can to help once more chapters are posted.
Wait a minute... Trixie mentioned this didn't she?
So the guards only have to go through it once, and Trixie has to go through it... repeatedly? Holy crap! I obviously haven't been giving Trixie enough credit, because if she went through the grinder more than once (or had private sessions), she must be quite the badflank.
And students of Celestia, implying more than one. Does that mean Sunset Shimmer had to suffer with it as well? I wonder what that means for Equestria Girls.
5536431
Sunset Shimmer predated Twilight/Trixie. Also, it was just a single private session, but Sparkle is capable of tormenting an entire room of 150+ combat hardened stallions at one time...
Also, I have no idea how to handle Equestria Girls. I think I'm going to just pretend those movies never happened.
I don't comment on stories often, but I felt compelled to say something short on this story: What you have going on here is unique and interesting, and you have managed to create a very like-able anti-hero (which is damn hard in of itself) in a very interesting world! The potential for this story is through the roof! In other words: keep up the good work!
EDIT: Will we see more from the class week interlude? Or was it just a single chapter inbetween? I found that chapter to be the most enjoyable.
'fenominal'
Sounds like an 'f' sound, but is really 'phenomenal'
5540195
Did I really type that?
*Checks*
Damn. Let me fix that real quick.
Pray: communing with an invisible being of dubious existence.
Prey: that which a predator eats.
Used the wrong word, you have.
5541520
You're making me feel stupid with all these mistakes you're finding...
I'd tell you to stop, but then there would still be mistakes in the story.
>A hooves went up
Uh huh…
>Scratch that, outside of a few utility spells, TK should be all you use
I think that first comma shud be a semicolon
> “Meh,” Sparkle replied noncommittally.
This is not indented the same amount as the lines around it
>Thank you for the complement
*complement
>make a meal out of all the 'easy pray' before him
Looks like the other guy posted this before me
>I also accept bribes in the form of complements and hugs
*compliments
I see where this is going. Shining totally gets murdered by Sombra.
... Badass.
Truly.
And now I can't stop thinking of a hilarious universe comparison.
Twilight: Sipping tea with royals to pleasant classical
Sparkle: Sipping blood of guards to heavy metal
Aaaaand I just found a new Wifu
Damn. As rough as that was, those guards are definitely going to come out of this class very respectful of what a dark magic user can get up to.
Edit: Thinking about this story bit more, if Sparkle's teachings have directly led to increased survival rates among the guard in dark magic related missions, does that mean there are guards alive on Sparkle's side that are dead on Twilight's? Interesting implications if true.
5535880
Surely, if Shining Armor is more capable than his canon counterpart since everyone took a level in badass, he wouldn't have reacted so badly to the training. After all, anyone who gets to Captain at his age in canon- even if he's got some social advantages that probably helped- must be exceptionally talented and hard-working. In a universe where he had to take on the responsibilities of their parents, he's probably even tougher.
This had to be one of the greatest chapters of a story i have ever read.
Extra full stop here.
Nice! A Harry Potter reference!
I am loving this. Not too many fics focus on the Dark Arts such as Necromancy, and those that do don't do it nearly as well.
5554518 your funeral rest in piece.
god i love sparkle oh the smile on my face
she is just so god DAMM cocksure of herslf its amazing and the family interation
You know, I'm surprised Shining isn't captain of the squad meant to go against dark mages considering, you know, he lives with and has practically raised one. He has more experience than any other pony I bet and he has the skill and strength to pull it off. He's good enough for captain in the other world, after all.
5551085 Wait, Sparkle has metal?
Well, time to switch universes.
As much as everyone likes hugs, wasn't lesson one to never touch a dark mage ever?
6249482
You are the only one to ever catch that.
In my mind: Long Shot = Gaston from Beauty and the Beast
6252838 course, in this one the beauty is the beast.
Illusionists! Yay! :D
I guess Long Shot thought the Necromancer was a Neck Romancer.
...
I'll just see myself out.
6429530 ahhhhhhhhh that was terrible in the best possible way. And do please stay it's nice to see someone else spreading horrible puns (because let's face it there's no such thing as a good one)
6452250 Bazinga.
I love the way Sparkle messes with people. It's both funny and disturbing at the same time. I find the moment between her and Shining Armour at the end adorable, despite the whole 'rot in Tartarus' part.
Come on,my students!Professor Sparkle want to have fun!
God damn I hate the trickster teacher trope. Really, honestly, HATE. You can't trust a word they say. Which rather gets in the way of learning. Are you supposed to cheat, as appropriate against mortal enemies, or not, as appropriate in classes?
And failing a guy for asking - not assuming - about the lesson, before you even drop hints to not trust the teacher is only a bitch move.
Making Twilight out to be so much more badass than all the other - older - ponies is not doing the story any favors either. Would have liked a broad spectrum of varying levels of badass across the class, from "unsuited" to "unflappable". Because fucking hell, these are supposed to be individuals whose magical special talents tend towards being brave.
And clearly ponies don't avoid Sparkle out of misplaced prejudice, but because she's wilfully unpleasant. To put it politely.
I'm going to tough out this chapter and hope it gets good again.
8119504
hey moron, she's meant to help them SURVIVE! not be their bestie
Shining Armor hugs his sister Sparkle
Sparkle: you're dead, you fail
your a wizard harry
8244302
OH MY GOD
That would have been BRILLIANT.
8119504
Sparkle did say that cheating was allowed in her class, on the grounds that staying alive was more important. And, given that a great deal of Equestrian dark mages and warriors with the use of dark magic, or simple dark intent, would attack someone for getting close? Such a demonstration fits, I feel. And to further the point, Sparkle may have been demonstrating to the guards to both learn from another's mistakes, and to trust nothing where dark magic is concerned. If Sombra would kill a pony for speaking to him, and that is an if, what's to stop any other threat of similar magical persuasion?
Forgive me for being wordy and overly verbose, please.
222
Fireball solves everything!
I’m so in love with this fic lol. So glad someone recced it to me.
10812237
Fireball, eldritch blast, and smite: the holy trinity