I read. I write. I edit. I Twidash. But above all else, I'm just a regular guy. Shoot me a PM if you have a question.
My name is Twilight Sparkle. Alicorn Princess. I have lived for thousands of years, met thousands of generations of ponies, and made more friends than I can count. And I have watched every, single one pass away. I remember the very first friends I made, nothing more than a whisper of a memory. And now? Now, I want to join them. My name is Twilight Sparkle, and I want to die.
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wow.....
would like to see a maybe mini sequel with her joining her friends?
3962025
you might get an epilogue, but that's a very slight maybe. I like this kind of ending to a story, I feel it's a bit more emotional when nothing is confirmed.
3962025 yes, that would make a fantastic mini-sequel.
It toke me a moment to realize Twilight had to be the element of magic/friendship to all those elements of harmony. Then it hit like a ton of bricks, you monster
Good story.
Crap man. This hit the feels pretty good, because now, I feel saddened.
~ Super-Brony12
Would you mind if I made the sequel to this story. I don't mind if that's a no.
Hmm. Interesting stylistic choices here. I must say, this is the best way to end it. Nice and mysterious, just how I like it, really. Though I couldn't write with that ending if my life depended on it... at least, I didn't think so.
Good job.
Wow. The ending was intense for the feels. Personally, I like the ending just as it is. I don't want to know she see her friends again nor their reaction to seeing her. BTW, has Spike passed away as well?
3963701
If you really want to, sure, just make sure to link this story and give me credit for it.
Oh, and send me a link too so I can link it from here.
That was wonderful.
I agree with Twilight Best Pony a little sequel would be great
Celestia appears selfish here, but most people are when the definitive loss of a loved one is in question. But a swift death is better than an endless agony or being turned into the new Nightmare Moon.
The narration is good. I found interesting that each of Twilight's friends is presented as 'the most' of their element, save for Rarity, who's merely 'one of the most.' Is it a reference to Twilight's family from her point of view?
Here are the lines I liked;
'The sharp clicking of my hooves changes to muffled thuds as the hard marble floor gives way to a regal red rug,'
'nothing more than a memory of a memory,'
'Hazy and indistinct with age,'
'indignation flaring in my gut,'
'She's quiet for a time, contemplating an answer that she couldn't seem to find,'
'lost to the flow of time,'
'Maybe it's just because the day lost its splendour when Celestia and I started drifting apart,'
'the moon continues rising high into the sky, bringing with it the dark of night,'
'My friends helped my find who I was. Maybe they can do it again'
and
'I hope I'll see my friends again.'
I found some mistakes;
'questions' should be 'question' or 'stops' should be 'stop' in 'With that the questions, and with them the conversation, stops,'
'loosing' should be 'losing' in 'Already they’re loosing the power they once held,'
'decent' should be 'descent' in 'After a few seconds the sun resumes its decent,'
you forgot the period at the end of 'slamming my hoof against the arm of my throne,'
'my' should be 'me' in 'My friends helped my find who I was,'
'thee' should be 'the' in 'She asks calmly, looking up at thee statue'
and
you forgot the comma after 'sleepily' in 'I murmur sleepily “I'm ready.”'
I also suggest you remove the skipped line between '“Pinkie Pie?” She asks knowingly. I sigh, hanging my head a nodding.' and '“Nopony’s been able to make you laugh quite as well as her,” Celestia notes with a solemn frown.' since they're both said by the same pony. I thought Twilight said the second line at first.
3964870
I need to get better at editing my own work...
No, the Rarity thing wasn't a reference to anything. That was me making a mistake. The first thousand or so words of this was written almost a year ago when I first heard of the confirmation of Twilicorn. I need to go fix those....
Thanks.
what happened to spike
3965240
<.<
>.>
Er.... Narnia?
...
No?
Seriously, I'm surprised this wasn't asked sooner. Dragons may have long lives, but they aren't immortal as Twi is. I assume he did after a couple thousand years. Twilight's been alive for tens of thousands.
3965249 Dragons are immortal
To think I haven't seen this scenario of the Immortal Alicorn Twilight thing...
As others have said too, I would like a sequel where she meets her friends in the Afterlife, or something like that. I think it would be interesting to see how they would react after all those years, if any more than a few days had passed in the Afterlife, that is. So, yeah, please make a sequel.
3965341
Says who? Is there any book that states facts about a mythological beast?
No, dragons aren't immortal if the author says they are mortal.
3965341
Oh I'm sorry; I didn't know you knew a dragon that you could ask.
In my personal beliefs dragon are not immortal, they simply have longer lives than other creatures.
Your point has been nullified.
3965397
I would like to, honestly, but I have a few problems with doing that.
One is it removes the emotional impact of the unknowing part at the end of the story.
Two is that I personally believe in reincarnation and not an after life, so.... yeah.
At best I'll write an epilogue similar to what I did in one of my previous stories, just a short thousand-or-so word thing where she meets her friends in the afterlife for feel's sake. But, again, that's just a maybe if I feel the need to do so. I also gave another writer permission to write a sequel for this themselves, so I'll probably only write the epilogue if they either don't write it or I feel I want to tell my own version.
3965473 ?
3965493
If I may come with a suggestion?
I believe in Reincarnation myself, but who says that you don't spend a brief time in the Afterlife? For example, the rest of the Mane6 have been waiting for Twilight, she meets them and then they allow themselves to be born again, promising to meet each other again, or something like that.
Just a small suggestion which you can take ideas from if you want to
3965506
....
Huh...
...
I'll have to think about that one....
3965512
Behold!
The power of my awesome ideas!
Celestia stands from her throne. “I'm retiring to my bed chambers. Please; think about what I said. You don't have to repeat the cycle anymore; it's time the chain was broken,” she says before departing, walking swiftly with practised grace out the doors and down the hall.
I initially thought Celestia would be upset with Luna when she found out what she's done, but this line could be read as her giving her blessing. If there is a sequel or epilogue, this point is what I'd like it to focus on, but perhaps it's ambiguous on purpose?
You don't have my permission to die.
3965676 only when fluttershy is dead. Wait she's ded. You have my permission to die
3965493 If there is to be an epilogue, I'd rather see Celestia coping with Twilight's death (especially if she does kill Luna in retaliation). And I agree that an epilogue where all is well would lessen this story's impact, since it focuses so much on sadness and not knowing.
Twilght abandoned one of her first friends. And the friend is Celestia.
4172486
Look how cold Celestia is to her. I think Celestia abandoned her first, a long time ago.
4173033
If she let Celestia to abandon her. There are always two sides.
The end made me tear up.
I'm going to assume that Spike left to live with his own kind for the rest of his immortal life as well? He'd probably deal with it a lot better due to it being a trait that his entire species has, unlike Twilight.
I feel so sad for her, she's been the element of magic for so long and gone through dozens of cycles of seeing the death of the rest. I can't even imagine how the current Twilight would react to seeing her current friends die.
4891250
There was a discussion about this in the comments, but basically Spike died. Dragons have long lifespans, I imagine around 5-10 thousand years, but aren't immortal. Honestly I just neglected to write him into this story. I wasn't thinking about him at the time. Yeah, that was a mistake, but it's not a huge blow to the story as a whole.
Celestia damn it, Kodeake! Stop making me cry! I couldn't even tell if it was sadness, sympathy, or happiness!
I really really REALLY want a Celestia reaction chapter. Like, I want one SUPER BAD. What are the chances of that happening?
What's it? Oh, just sadness overload again, nothing special
__________________________________________________________________________
Such an awesome sad story, realy wandering about why i wasn't crying while read it
Wish you best
3962068 I made my friend Kaden read this and once he finished he told me "remember the last thing Luna says at the end?", I say "yeah, what about it?" Then he told me "rest in pepperonis the dream of death dood!" Besides that little story I thoroughly loved this story to bits and more, the only problem I have with it is that the word 'die' is used like its going out of style.
I know how Twilight feels in some parts and this reminds me of a song about AJ, AB, Big Mac, And Granny Smith after the parents died here it is:
4891543
why not chapter 2? Twilight in Heaven and Celesta's and Luna's conflict over Twi's death