• Member Since 16th Nov, 2012
  • offline last seen Nov 6th, 2016

Salivanth



T

It's Fluttershy's twenty-first birthday, and her friends expose her to the wonder of cider for the first time. But how will the adorably shy pony react to this intoxicating new beverage?

Pre-readers: Cockroach42, Oatsmaster, Phearlock.
Cover art by Lurarin.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 100 )

A cute story, dood.

A drunk pony is a fun pony, I always say, dood.

EDIT: A thought occurs, dood. Isn't Fluttershy a year older than Pinkie? it would slightly more than two months... just a thought, dood.

That was a good, well-written story. There were a few errors here and there, but nothing glaring.

Oh.... Well Pinkie is actually calm Drunk.... Hahahahaha

2288022

This dood thinks that other dood is right.

Hahaha, this is hilarious! :rainbowlaugh: I think this is the best story I read tonight. :pinkiehappy:

Short, funny, and very sweet. Absolutely adore it.

Oh dear. Fabulous. :raritystarry: absolutely fabulous. I'm going to make a group of cider fics and the like, and this is going in there!:pinkiehappy: um...if that's okay:fluttershyouch:

Applejack's reaction to Pinkie Pie drinking! :pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy:

Silver out!

"Oh...no. My parents never drank. You see, they were never quite as adventurous and extroverted as I am." Fluttershy said.

Five ponies stared at Fluttershy in utter awe. Applejack subtly waved Twilight over, and they clustered behind Fluttershy out of earshot.

"Er...Twilight?" Applejack asked. "If Fluttershy's parents were...ya know, more Fluttershy than Fluttershy...how did they...well...even get Fluttershy in the first place?"

Made. My. Day.

Dwaaaaaaaa. Remind me of:

Pinkie on cider?!
Celestia help us! :raritydespair:

Cute story; practically lost it when Fluttershy started singing.

Hoo boy. My personal headcanon is that Fluttershy is a "mood-swing drunk". Look at how much anxiety (and occasional outbursts of RAGE) she has when she's sober. She's probably had a horrible childhood. A few drinks in, the anxiety disappears, and she's a "happy drunk". A few more drinks in, and the space left behind by the anxiety is filled with self-hatred and drunken rage at her asshole of a mother, who pushed and pushed and PUSHED her into being a top flyer, despite not having the drive or the proper body type, half-healed grief toward her missing father, presumed dead due to being eaten by a dragon, more rage at the other young pegasi and their damned taunting and...I carried on a bit too far, didn't I?

"And Rainbow! Rainbow Dash. We...we share a bond, you and I." Fluttershy said, and winked at Rainbow. "We share something that nopony else in this room has."

"I knew it!" Rarity said, eyes sparkling. "I always knew!"

Oh god, Rarity with shipping goggles is best Rarity :rainbowlaugh:

Point of fact, Fluttershy's a year older than Pinkie. There's no way her birthday would be two months away.

I was like, "ehh," at first, but then the last paragraph made me laugh enough for the upvote.

Cool story, bro. Needs more dragons and shit. No, seriously. Why didn't Spike appear? Sure, he's a baby and all, but everything's better with dragons.

more Fluttershy than Fluttershy...HOW!?

Are they statues somehow in coitus? Weird disease? OR is she a love child produce from osmosis or something?

Immaculate conception Fluttershy?...Whatevs anyway funny stuff.

A drunk Pinkie Pie would mess with the fabric of their reality.:pinkiecrazy:
Silly story, nuff said.:rainbowlaugh:

Super funny. I was rolling on the floor till I realized I needed to vacuum.

So, I went to sleep and got approximately INFINITY BILLION comments when I woke up. I apologise for being unable to reply to all of you! Thank you all for your comments!

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2288928

Huh. Didn't know that the Mane 6 ever had their ages mentioned, even in relation to each other. Where was it mentioned that Fluttershy was a year older?

2289121

The world will never know. I never actually came up with an explanation, I think it's funnier if the reader is left to mull it over themselves.

2289081

For the same two reasons that Pinkie doesn't appear much: I had too many characters fighting for attention, and he was the most cuttable, because all his lines can basically be said by somepony else, and he doesn't need to be at the party for the fic to make sense like Pinkie does. Pinkie on the other hand is known for random and wacky antics, and considering the fic is about Fluttershy's random and wacky antics, there was too much overlap there. A more skilled writer may have been able to fit seven characters into the story and given them all a reasonable voice, but I am not that writer.

2289863

Ah. Well, there you go. Thanks!

I don't think I'm going to change it at this point, as I think the "two months" line works better than, say, ten months, and it's a very minor alteration to canon (Given that it appears a grand total of once in a throwaway line), and it is a Comedy fic. But that info is very useful to know for more serious fics where canonical breaches, no matter how minor, are a bigger deal.

2289880

Might wanna write an author's note to dissuade similar responses then.

Whenever I get drunk, I don't really seem drunk. I just make horrible decisions, and lose all control of my accent. First time I drank, I went from German to Boston to Cockney in a single sentence.

Ha! When I get drunk, I think stupidly clear and my accent mixes between a Texas and Scottish all kinda mixed together. Also play Pool better then my Pool-Shark friend and she's damn good. :rainbowlaugh:

This was really funny! *faves* :derpytongue2: :rainbowlaugh:

Rushed ending is rushed.

Also, Go home Fluttershy, you're drunk.:pinkiesick:

2289121

You know booze might solve that problem to.

Alcohol, is there no problem it can't solve? Or cause?

Comment posted by Salivanth deleted Mar 20th, 2013

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I thought it felt rushed, but wasn't able to find a way to extend the ending while keeping the humor of it. Believe me, I tried.

2293675

That's now the canon explanation. After the thirty-eighth consecutive month of their relationship failing to progress beyond the "look at each other shyly and blush" stage, their mutual friends decided to get them on booze in order to further their relationship. It worked.

I don't normally favorite one-shots, but I made a special case with this one

Wrestling a bear whilst naked is probably a better idea than getting Pinkie drunk.

Yeah well... Great story good sir. Drunken stories a good stories. Especially if they are made whilst being drunk yourself! :pinkiehappy:

I'm sorry, I don't like it. I'm not going to thumbs it down though because my opinion really doesn't matter.
But I will tell you why I don't like it, if you would care to actually read this and not delete it.

I don't like your story mostly because of the grammar.
Capslock...
You don't use capslock when yelling... You use an !

And then I saw that silly song that was just taken from the show and made into a parody for drinking. Seriously, man? I've wrote some things that are worse than ponies drinking, but at least I didn't take things directly from the show and do what you did to them...

Finally, the part where she just kept saying pegasus with the extended ending.

I'm sorry, there's things that I'll admit that I didn't like because it just wasn't "My cup of tea," but this should be something that is, and I don't care for it.

2293704
Endings, the ever-troublesome enemy of writers!:derpytongue2:

2295158

Thanks for the feedback. At least one of your claims is backed up substantially, as well. I have indeed been told by a fairly skilled writer that THIS KIND OF WRITING should be reserved only for extreme emphasis, and that I should italicise more instead.

The "pegasususus" bit was probably a mistake, given that nobody posted to say they particularly enjoyed that joke, and you disliked it quite a bit. (Whereas someone did post to say they loved the song, so it's a love/hate thing, which I predicted, as songs tend to be that way in fanfics.)

I do appreciate feedback. While I don't automatically change my writing habits based on every piece of feedback I receive, I do take all feedback into account. For instance, I'm not going to immediately believe my song was terrible and I shouldn't put songs in fanfics, but I will be more reluctant to do so in the future thanks to your feedback.

2295299

Endings and writers are natural enemies. Like grammar and writers. Or dialogue and writers. Or action scenes and writers. Or writers and other writers.

There's always that one friend who isn't of age, isn't there? Actually, let's form a club, with Pinkie as president! Designated drivers of the world, UNITE!

2289121 all those repressed emotions have to get out somehow. Imagine :flutterrage: in the bedroom. :pinkiegasp:

I'll be off cowering now.

2293704
Yeah, the ending was a bit rushed... I think it could have been improved if Applejack was simply seen running away screaming, followed by a cut to Fluttershy having a hangover and doing some very un-Fluttershy things. Other than that...

She clutched the mug with both hands and began to flap into the air.

Rainbow and Applejack managed to bring Fluttershy to her feet again, and keep her from swaying with their combined efforts. Fluttershy extricated herself from between them, but kept her feet.

What blasphemy is this?! Oh, and...

Twilight carried an unresisting Fluttershy with her teleportation magic.

Think you mean levitation here.

Why does every fanfic that involves alcohol want to get me drunk?!

First, Nurse Luna, now this. Wonderful. If you need my I'll be destroying piggy banks.

SIDENOTE: Neat story. I liked Fluttershy's drunk dialogue a lot. It's very reflective. :pinkiehappy:

Bucking hilarious! All of my mustaches!
:moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache:
:moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache:

2297302

Argh! Fixed. Thank you. I actually meant "telekinetic" magic, but levitation is better: Telekinetic requires the reader to stop for half a second and make the mental association.

I did consider writing a "Fluttershy has a hangover" scene or two, but I couldn't think of anything all that funny, and I think a rushed ending is better than an anticlimactic one. You're still correct that it would have been better, it just wouldn't have been better with me personally writing it.

...I'm really surprised that three prereaders and half-a-dozen edits from myself managed to miss those "hands" and "feet". Damn.

Too bad AJ couldn't really do that or she'd send her entire farm into the red.

2300019

Honestly, I think Applejack would still consider that a worthy trade-off :)

2300039

Booze might make Pinkie less dangerous.

2300406

Could. In fact, that was an idea I had for a follow-up fic, where Pinkie somehow got a hold of cider anyway and ended up turning into a calm, Zen-like pony. Then I realised the only funny part of the entire idea was the first moment of "Holy crap, what happened to Pinkie." Characters NOT being weird and funny isn't all that funny once you get used to it.

Zen Pinkie is a funny one-off gag imo, but not a funny story.

2300541

Or she LIKES being that way and keep drinking more to keep it up.

2300822

Hmm. That actually could make a good fic. Instead of another alcohol fic, everypony gets annoyed at Pinkie's constant super-random-hyperness, so she decides to change and stops consuming candy by the bucketload, which makes her calm down dramatically.

Of course, they eventually figure out that they miss Pinkie's super-random-hyperness and try and force her to change back. But Pinkie's liking the more contemplative, intellectual side of herself, and doesn't want to change back...

I'll put that on my mental backburner and see what it comes up with. Thanks!

Hate to be a nitpicker, but Twilight would be carrying Fluttershy with a levitation spell, not a teleportation spell. :rainbowhuh:

AWESOME story.

The song had me in stiches.

Pegususes. lol! She never did get to the proper plural "pegusi"

We have Fluttershy (normal), Flutterbitch (Discorded, or overly assertive), Psychoshy (PattyCakes), Flutterrage (The Best Night Ever)...and now? Fluttersauced!

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