Cidershy
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY FLUTTERSHY!"
Amidst a chorus of confetti, streamers, and party poppers, Fluttershy's favourite five ponies clustered around her to offer their congratulations.
Applejack came up last, and chuckled. "Happy birthday, Fluttershy! Yer twenty-first no less. I tell ya, I been waitin' for this one fer nearly a year now!"
"Oh." Fluttershy said. "Um...why is that?"
"Well, you know what happens when you turn twenty-one!" Rainbow Dash said.
"Oh, yes." Fluttershy said. "It means I can vote in town elections, and make an extra bit per hour from animal sitting, and-"
"Ah think she means drinkin', Fluttershy." Applejack said with a grin. "And ta celebrate that in style, we got one of Sweet Apple Acres' finest barrels outta storage for ya!"
"Oh. OH! You mean, alcohol...oh, I've heard ponies talk about that. Are you sure it's safe?" Fluttershy said.
"It's fine, darling. As long as you know your limits, of course. Surely you must have at least had a few sips of wine in your time, dear?" Rarity said.
"Oh...no. My parents never drank. You see, they were never quite as adventurous and extroverted as I am." Fluttershy said.
Five ponies stared at Fluttershy in utter awe. Applejack subtly waved Twilight over, and they clustered behind Fluttershy out of earshot.
"Er...Twilight?" Applejack said. "If Fluttershy's parents were...ya know, more Fluttershy than Fluttershy...how did they...well...even get Fluttershy in the first place?"
"I...don't...know..." Twilight said, staring at Fluttershy as though she was a fascinating scientific phenomenon only just now discovered by ponykind.
"Well...uh..." Applejack said as the silence drew on. "Uh...easy enough ta make up fer lost time now!"
"YES! That's right!" Rainbow Dash said. "Fluttershy on cider. I have been waiting so many years for this! First mug's for the birthday girl!"
Rainbow swiftly filled it up and offered it to Fluttershy.
"Oh...I don't know Rainbow..." Fluttershy said, starting to shy away from the proffered mug.
"Come on Fluttershy. It's your twenty-first. If you're not going to go a little overboard now, when will you ever get the chance again?" Rainbow said.
"Well...um...I guess so." Fluttershy said. She reached out for the mug and cautiously took a sip. Then a much larger sip. Her eyes widened. She clutched the mug with both forehooves and began to flap into the air. She took another sip, draining a substantial portion of the mug. Licking her lips, she took a deep breath.
"She's not going to...is she?" Rarity said.
"I think she is." Twilight said.
Fluttershy broke into song.
What is this drink, filled with so many wonders?
Casting its spell, that I am now under?
Spices in the mug make the taste so appealing.
And it fills me with such a warm feeling!
Feeeeeeeeeliiing!
Oh, cider has such a wonderful charm.
And I owe it to the Apple Family farm!
If I knew this drink would be tasting so right,
I'd have drank it sooner, and every night!
Fluttershy proceeded to chug the rest of the mug to unanimous surprise.
"Uh...gals?" Applejack said "What the heck have we just done?"
Rainbow Dash laughed, half in excitement, half in apprehension. "Oh wow...one way or another, this is going to be awesome."
"This is DELICIOUS!" Fluttershy shouted. Of course, a Fluttershy shout was only slightly louder than any other pony whispering softly, so only Rainbow actually picked up on it, and she had no intention of saying anything that might jeopardise Fluttershy's intake.
"May I have another?" Fluttershy said. She pushed the mug towards Applejack with her forehooves and looked up at her pleadingly.
Applejack grinned. "Sure thing, Fluttershy. Lemme just, uh, serve everypony else one too. Ya kinda drank the first one so fast that nopony else got any yet."
"Oh, of course. I’m sorry." Fluttershy said meekly. "I want everypony to enjoy my party, not just me."
The drinks were served out in short order as the party began. Laughter was had, dancing was done, presents were opened, and of course, cider was consumed. As the dancing mix finally came to its conclusion, Fluttershy headed towards Applejack and her barrel of magical elixir, having to walk rather slowly and deliberately for some reason.
"Wow, Applejack." Fluttershy said. "I...I never knew apple drinks could taste so wonderful."
She clapped her hooves over her mouth. "Not...not that I'm saying apple juice isn't wonderful, because it is, but this is just the most indescribably wondrous beverage!" Fluttershy added, eyes pleading for forgiveness.
"I know what ya mean Fluttershy. May wanna slow down a tad though. Bad side effect of cider. Drink too much and ya won't feel all that good the next mornin’." Applejack cautioned, passing Fluttershy a half-mug.
"Fluttershy! FLUTTERSHY!" Pinkie yelled out as she jumped, waving wildly at Fluttershy who was less than ten feet away. "It's your turn to play Pin The Tail On The Pony!"
"Okay! Let's play!" Fluttershy said, rushing over to the game eagerly. Everypony except Pinkie exchanged glances at this. Fluttershy took a sip and put down her mug to play as the blindfold went on. Pinkie spun her around repeatedly and put her in the direction of the target.
“Don’t feel bad guys. Pegasi have a natural sense of direction. I’m guessing she’ll get an easy second place. Behind me of course." Rainbow said.
Fluttershy took a couple of steps towards the wall, three steps to the left, a couple of steps to the right, then lost track. Hitting the wall, she tried to pin the tail, only to find it wasn't going in. She tried several more times, growing steadily more confused.
"Uh...Fluttershy?" Twilight said. "You've missed the paper. You're trying to pin the tail on the tree."
Fluttershy lifted her blindfold as everypony struggled to contain laughter. She giggled. And giggled again. Then started giggling and giggling and couldn't stop as everypony else joined in. She clutched her sides, tears welling up as she rolled from side to side on the floor.
Finally she was able to articulate a sentence. "I...I wasn't even playing Pin The Tail On The Pony!" she said, snorting with barely contained laughter. "It was...Pin The Tail On...The TREE!"
It wasn’t even all that funny, but it set everypony off laughing again, until none of them could even remember who was supposed to go next.
*** ***
Rarity yawned as she surveyed the remainder of the party. Small amounts of snack foods scattered here and there like the last floating flotsam of a sinking ship, ponies sitting or lying around talking, energy waning. Suddenly, a face appeared in front of her, shocking her out of her mind. Not because a face had appeared, but because a face had appeared in front of her and it wasn't Pinkie Pie.
"Hi...hi Rarity!" Fluttershy said. "Have you seen Applejack? I just...wanted to...um....er...."
Fluttershy trailed off and glanced down at her cider mug.
"Cider! That was it! I was hoping to...to thank Applejack for the cider. And to get another mug if it was not not too much trouble. Or, wait...'not not too much'...would that mean...too much...I wanted to thank Applejack! For the cider!" Fluttershy finished triumphantly.
"Oh! Er, I think she's in the bathroom, Fluttershy." Rarity said.
Fluttershy headed over to the cider station, filled the mug up herself, and headed upstairs towards the bathroom. As she left, Rainbow Dash gravitated towards Rarity, two cupcakes balanced on her front hooves, a feat she somehow managed while flying under the influence of a moderate amount of cider herself.
"Cupcake?" Rainbow offered.
"You don't think she's had a little...too much, do you?" Rarity said, levitating the cupcake.
"Nah. Fluttershy's fine. She's just loosened up a bit, that's all. Come out of her shell. There's a reason I was looking forward to this!" Rainbow said.
*** ***
Fluttershy slowly headed up the stairs. Wonderful things those were. Stairs. She stopped to reflect on that for a second. I mean, which pony came up with stairs? I mean...one moment, you were down there. Then the next...you were up here. Her mind churning slowly as she kept walking, she decided it wasn't a pegasus. Pegasi could just fly. So...that narrowed it down to about two-thirds of Equestria. Progress!
She reached the bathroom at this point, sadly ending the march of scientific discovery. She had more important things to do! She knocked on the door. "Applejack. May I come in and talk to you?" she said.
"What. Uh...no, Fluttershy. I'm...in the bathroom." Applejack said slowly.
Fluttershy sat and pondered this as she sipped her cider. How would Twilight solve this? First, define the problem. Okay. She could do that. The problem was that Fluttershy was out here. And Applejack...was in there. And this was a thoroughly undesirable state of affairs. So, what was stopping her from simply going in there? Ah. Yes. The door. The door was her obstacle. So how did she defeat the door. Could she open it? No. No, the door was locked. Could she go under it? That was silly. Over it? No. There was only one possible, rational course of action. Fluttershy walked away from the door. Twilight would be proud of her. She had distilled the problem down to its core essences, determined the exact nature of her dilemma, and made a plan to deal with the obstacle. Yes. Foolproof.
Fluttershy turned back towards the bathroom and charged full speed at the door.
*** ***
"So, I guess it's probably time to wrap it up..." Twilight said, right before she heard a tremendous smash.
"What in the hay was that?" Applejack shouted from the bathroom as everypony rushed towards the area of the crash. Fluttershy lay in front of the door, which incredibly, had actually suffered some damage, though not enough to actually break it down. A flush was heard and Applejack opened the door.
"Fluttershy! Did you just try and break down the door?" Applejack said.
"Of course I did, Applejack. I wanted to talk to you, and you wouldn't let me." Fluttershy said, as if trying to explain the obvious to a five-year-old.
"Well, I think that's enough cider for you." Twilight said. "Let's get you home."
Twilight carried an unresisting Fluttershy with her teleportation magic. They headed down the stairs and were about to leave when Fluttershy spoke. "Wait! Put...put me down for, for just a minute. I just, just want to do one last thing. No cider. I promise."
Twilight put Fluttershy down, against her better judgement. Fluttershy turned to Applejack. "Deny me cider, will you AJ? Put em up!" she said.
Applejack snickered. "Er...what did y'all just say?"
"Put. Em. Up." Fluttershy said. Staggering on four legs, she somehow managed to stand up on two, front hooves extended in front of her face. She started to take a step towards Applejack.
Suddenly, Fluttershy was flat on her back in less than a second. "W...wha....what?" she shouted. "Applejack...how are you so fast? I...I...I didn't even see you move!" she said in utter incredulity.
"Er...Fluttershy?" Rarity said.
"Yes, Rarity?" Fluttershy said in a completely normal tone.
"Applejack didn't hit you. You fell over. You didn't see her move because she didn't move." Rarity explained.
"Ohhhhhhhhh." Fluttershy said. "Ohhhhhhhh. Ohhhhhhhhh. Oh. Ohh. Oh. Oh."
"That...that explains everything!" Fluttershy continued, awestruck. She felt as if she had just discovered the secret of the universe.
"Alright, Fluttershy. Even I think you've had enough now." Rainbow said. "Up ya get."
Rainbow and Applejack managed to bring Fluttershy to her feet again, and keep her from swaying with their combined efforts. Fluttershy extricated herself from between them, but kept her feet.
"You know." Fluttershy said. "I...am so lucky. I am so lucky to have, to have such special friends. I like having special friends. Like...like..."
Fluttershy turned towards the nearest pony, which happened to be Rarity. "Like Rarity!. Rarity Rarity Rarity. I do so love our spa visits. They...are truly an oasis of calm in what can otherwise be an extremely frenetic lifestyle."
"She's gone inta big-fancy-words-drunk now." Applejack whispered to Twilight.
"I don't notice anything different. Doesn't everypony communicate with a comparable lexicon?" Twilight whispered back.
"And Rainbow! Rainbow Dash. We...we share a bond, you and I." Fluttershy said, and winked at Rainbow. "We share something that nopony else in this room has."
"I knew it!" Rarity said, eyes sparkling. "I always knew!"
Fluttershy rested a hoof on Rainbow's shoulder as Rainbow considered her next words extremely carefully. "Uh...what, exactly is this bond you're talking about, Fluttershy?"
"Why, we're both pegasusususes, of course!" Fluttershy said. "We share a sacred bond of the sky, we pegasususes. Pegasususes."
Fluttershy sat down. "Pegasuses."
"Okay. Time to go home now." Twilight said, as Rarity sank to the floor, wedding plans in shambles.
"TWILIGHT!" Fluttershy zoomed forward in a tackle-hug that sent Twilight back a couple of steps as Fluttershy clutched Twilight's neck as though she was drowning. "You...you are also very special. You understand me, and my oft misunderstood desire for solitude. You...are truly a rare gem, Twilight. Thank you."
Fluttershy leaned forward and kissed Twilight on the forehead as Twilight tried to break free from Fluttershy’s iron grip. "You are a special friend, Twilight. Not in that way. Because I'm totally into stallions. No matter what Rarity thinks. But if I weren't, we could totally be even more special friends."
Rarity let out a wail of despair at the news as Twilight fervently wished an invisibility spell had been on her Learn New Spells checklist for last month rather than next month.
Fluttershy let go of Twilight and looked around the room for anypony she hadn't yet seen, now drunk enough to realise something she should have realised a long time ago. "PINKIE PIE! In that bookshelf!"
Pinkie popped out of the bookshelf in a move that would have driven the ponies mad had any of them been stupid enough to actually look directly at Pinkie when she was breaking physics. "YES! Thankyou thankyou thankyou Fluttershy, I started to think nopony would find me! Did anypony even notice I was gone?"
"I did, Pinkie." Fluttershy said. "Because...you're Pinkie, Pinkie. And that's all there...that's all there is to it. Pinkie is Pinkie is Pinkie is Pinkie because only Pinkie is Pinkie and nopony else can be Pinkie."
"Aw, thanks Fluttershy! And you're the most Fluttershy-iest of all possible Fluttershies yourself!" Pinkie said as they exchanged hugs.
"And Applejack." Fluttershy said, approaching her.
"Oh no. Oh Celestia no." Applejack said.
Fluttershy stopped before Applejack, and bowed deeply before her. "You, Applejack, provider of the liquid ambrosia that is apple cider. I grant you anything that is in my power to grant. Ask of me any boon that is within my strength to gift upon you, and it shall be yours."
Stunned by the utter drunken sincerity in Fluttershy's message, Applejack began to look from side to side awkwardly, before suddenly an idea hit like a bolt of lightning. "Fluttershy. As mah boon, I hereby do request of y'all that y'all stay at Twilight's tonight and head ta sleep. Er, right now. Yer in no state ta go home."
"Your wish is my command, Applejack." Fluttershy said, and she staggered towards the steps. Rainbow and Twilight made sure she didn't fall, and as they all followed, Fluttershy curled up on Twilight's guest bed and fell sound asleep within seconds. Quietly, everypony tiptoed back down.
"Well. That...was certainly something." Rarity said.
"Yeah. Somethin'. It certainly was." Applejack said.
"She's going to be regretting it in the morning." Twilight said.
"Hah! I'll say!" Rainbow said.
"I wish I could drink." Pinkie Pie said.
Sheer, absolute, bloodchilling horror struck the four remaining ponies as they realised Pinkie Pie still wasn't of drinking age.
"But that's okay! I'll be twenty-one in two months! Won't that be fun!" Pinkie said, bouncing out the door.
When she finally finished screaming, Applejack promptly galloped home, destroyed the entire stock of cider Sweet Apple Acres possessed, and never made another barrel again as long as she lived.
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A cute story, dood.
A drunk pony is a fun pony, I always say, dood.
EDIT: A thought occurs, dood. Isn't Fluttershy a year older than Pinkie? it would slightly more than two months... just a thought, dood.
That was a good, well-written story. There were a few errors here and there, but nothing glaring.
Oh.... Well Pinkie is actually calm Drunk.... Hahahahaha
2288022
This dood thinks that other dood is right.
Short, funny, and very sweet. Absolutely adore it.
Oh dear. Fabulous.
absolutely fabulous. I'm going to make a group of cider fics and the like, and this is going in there!
um...if that's okay
Applejack's reaction to Pinkie Pie drinking!
Silver out!
Made. My. Day.
Dwaaaaaaaa. Remind me of:
Pinkie on cider?!
Celestia help us!
Cute story; practically lost it when Fluttershy started singing.
Hoo boy. My personal headcanon is that Fluttershy is a "mood-swing drunk". Look at how much anxiety (and occasional outbursts of RAGE) she has when she's sober. She's probably had a horrible childhood. A few drinks in, the anxiety disappears, and she's a "happy drunk". A few more drinks in, and the space left behind by the anxiety is filled with self-hatred and drunken rage at her asshole of a mother, who pushed and pushed and PUSHED her into being a top flyer, despite not having the drive or the proper body type, half-healed grief toward her missing father, presumed dead due to being eaten by a dragon, more rage at the other young pegasi and their damned taunting and...I carried on a bit too far, didn't I?
Oh god, Rarity with shipping goggles is best Rarity
Point of fact, Fluttershy's a year older than Pinkie. There's no way her birthday would be two months away.
I was like, "ehh," at first, but then the last paragraph made me laugh enough for the upvote.
Cool story, bro. Needs more dragons and shit. No, seriously. Why didn't Spike appear? Sure, he's a baby and all, but everything's better with dragons.
more Fluttershy than Fluttershy...HOW!?
Are they statues somehow in coitus? Weird disease? OR is she a love child produce from osmosis or something?
Immaculate conception Fluttershy?...Whatevs anyway funny stuff.
A drunk Pinkie Pie would mess with the fabric of their reality.
Silly story, nuff said.
Super funny. I was rolling on the floor till I realized I needed to vacuum.
So, I went to sleep and got approximately INFINITY BILLION comments when I woke up. I apologise for being unable to reply to all of you! Thank you all for your comments!
2288022
2288928
Huh. Didn't know that the Mane 6 ever had their ages mentioned, even in relation to each other. Where was it mentioned that Fluttershy was a year older?
2289121
The world will never know. I never actually came up with an explanation, I think it's funnier if the reader is left to mull it over themselves.
2289081
For the same two reasons that Pinkie doesn't appear much: I had too many characters fighting for attention, and he was the most cuttable, because all his lines can basically be said by somepony else, and he doesn't need to be at the party for the fic to make sense like Pinkie does. Pinkie on the other hand is known for random and wacky antics, and considering the fic is about Fluttershy's random and wacky antics, there was too much overlap there. A more skilled writer may have been able to fit seven characters into the story and given them all a reasonable voice, but I am not that writer.
2289848
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kctX5_oyMG4
2289863
Ah. Well, there you go. Thanks!
I don't think I'm going to change it at this point, as I think the "two months" line works better than, say, ten months, and it's a very minor alteration to canon (Given that it appears a grand total of once in a throwaway line), and it is a Comedy fic. But that info is very useful to know for more serious fics where canonical breaches, no matter how minor, are a bigger deal.
2289880
Might wanna write an author's note to dissuade similar responses then.
2289887
And done.
Ha! When I get drunk, I think stupidly clear and my accent mixes between a Texas and Scottish all kinda mixed together. Also play Pool better then my Pool-Shark friend and she's damn good.
This was really funny! *faves*
Rushed ending is rushed.
Also, Go home Fluttershy, you're drunk.
2289121
You know booze might solve that problem to.
Alcohol, is there no problem it can't solve? Or cause?
2292968
I thought it felt rushed, but wasn't able to find a way to extend the ending while keeping the humor of it. Believe me, I tried.
2293675
That's now the canon explanation. After the thirty-eighth consecutive month of their relationship failing to progress beyond the "look at each other shyly and blush" stage, their mutual friends decided to get them on booze in order to further their relationship. It worked.
I don't normally favorite one-shots, but I made a special case with this one
Wrestling a bear whilst naked is probably a better idea than getting Pinkie drunk.
Yeah well... Great story good sir. Drunken stories a good stories. Especially if they are made whilst being drunk yourself!
I'm sorry, I don't like it. I'm not going to thumbs it down though because my opinion really doesn't matter.
But I will tell you why I don't like it, if you would care to actually read this and not delete it.
I don't like your story mostly because of the grammar.
Capslock...
You don't use capslock when yelling... You use an !
And then I saw that silly song that was just taken from the show and made into a parody for drinking. Seriously, man? I've wrote some things that are worse than ponies drinking, but at least I didn't take things directly from the show and do what you did to them...
Finally, the part where she just kept saying pegasus with the extended ending.
I'm sorry, there's things that I'll admit that I didn't like because it just wasn't "My cup of tea," but this should be something that is, and I don't care for it.
2293704
Endings, the ever-troublesome enemy of writers!
2295158
Thanks for the feedback. At least one of your claims is backed up substantially, as well. I have indeed been told by a fairly skilled writer that THIS KIND OF WRITING should be reserved only for extreme emphasis, and that I should italicise more instead.
The "pegasususus" bit was probably a mistake, given that nobody posted to say they particularly enjoyed that joke, and you disliked it quite a bit. (Whereas someone did post to say they loved the song, so it's a love/hate thing, which I predicted, as songs tend to be that way in fanfics.)
I do appreciate feedback. While I don't automatically change my writing habits based on every piece of feedback I receive, I do take all feedback into account. For instance, I'm not going to immediately believe my song was terrible and I shouldn't put songs in fanfics, but I will be more reluctant to do so in the future thanks to your feedback.
2295299
Endings and writers are natural enemies. Like grammar and writers. Or dialogue and writers. Or action scenes and writers. Or writers and other writers.
There's always that one friend who isn't of age, isn't there? Actually, let's form a club, with Pinkie as president! Designated drivers of the world, UNITE!
2289121 all those repressed emotions have to get out somehow. Imagine
in the bedroom. 
I'll be off cowering now.
2293704
Yeah, the ending was a bit rushed... I think it could have been improved if Applejack was simply seen running away screaming, followed by a cut to Fluttershy having a hangover and doing some very un-Fluttershy things. Other than that...
What blasphemy is this?! Oh, and...
Think you mean levitation here.
Why does every fanfic that involves alcohol want to get me drunk?!
First, Nurse Luna, now this. Wonderful. If you need my I'll be destroying piggy banks.
SIDENOTE: Neat story. I liked Fluttershy's drunk dialogue a lot. It's very reflective.
Bucking hilarious! All of my mustaches!
2297302
Argh! Fixed. Thank you. I actually meant "telekinetic" magic, but levitation is better: Telekinetic requires the reader to stop for half a second and make the mental association.
I did consider writing a "Fluttershy has a hangover" scene or two, but I couldn't think of anything all that funny, and I think a rushed ending is better than an anticlimactic one. You're still correct that it would have been better, it just wouldn't have been better with me personally writing it.
...I'm really surprised that three prereaders and half-a-dozen edits from myself managed to miss those "hands" and "feet". Damn.
Too bad AJ couldn't really do that or she'd send her entire farm into the red.
2300019
Honestly, I think Applejack would still consider that a worthy trade-off :)
2300039
Booze might make Pinkie less dangerous.
2300406
Could. In fact, that was an idea I had for a follow-up fic, where Pinkie somehow got a hold of cider anyway and ended up turning into a calm, Zen-like pony. Then I realised the only funny part of the entire idea was the first moment of "Holy crap, what happened to Pinkie." Characters NOT being weird and funny isn't all that funny once you get used to it.
Zen Pinkie is a funny one-off gag imo, but not a funny story.
2300541
Or she LIKES being that way and keep drinking more to keep it up.
2300822
Hmm. That actually could make a good fic. Instead of another alcohol fic, everypony gets annoyed at Pinkie's constant super-random-hyperness, so she decides to change and stops consuming candy by the bucketload, which makes her calm down dramatically.
Of course, they eventually figure out that they miss Pinkie's super-random-hyperness and try and force her to change back. But Pinkie's liking the more contemplative, intellectual side of herself, and doesn't want to change back...
I'll put that on my mental backburner and see what it comes up with. Thanks!
MY SIDES!
Hate to be a nitpicker, but Twilight would be carrying Fluttershy with a levitation spell, not a teleportation spell.
AWESOME story.
The song had me in stiches.
Pegususes. lol! She never did get to the proper plural "pegusi"
We have Fluttershy (normal), Flutterbitch (Discorded, or overly assertive), Psychoshy (PattyCakes), Flutterrage (The Best Night Ever)...and now? Fluttersauced!
2301744
Oh my god, I could have sworn I edited that the FIRST time it was pointed out!
Thank you for noticing that, and I'm glad you liked the story :)
2301763
No problem
...by the way I saw the earlier criticism of the pegususes bit. As you probably guessed I disagreed with that criticism. I'm glad you didn't end up editing it out :P