sequ

*cough*

Well anyway, that was... enjoyable. The way RD and Twi grew together was really cute, even if they did get off to a bit of a rocky start. Twilight just can't help being her adorkable self, I guess. It was good. Great, even.

<.< >.> ...can we get a sequel?

4072506
Not anytime soon, no. I'm going on hiatus soon, because reasons. Two more fics, tops, then it'll depend on how quickly I can make 3D models and how depressed thesis work makes me. Right now it's not very and very, which obviously needs to be the other way around.

I don't mind other people writing unofficial sequels to it, though. I'm sure there's someone out there who can turn Rainbow and Twilight adopting a shineless Crystal Pony orphan into a decent story, for example.

I really enjoyed this story, plenty of character development... I know others are probably on the same train as me when I hope for a sequel. Hoping, not asking.

...God fucking damn it, Author :p. This was a nice story, though, but I'll admit, I was hoping for something more. Then again, can't really force you to continue this story past its epilogue, now can I?

It was a fun read, one of the more enjoyable TwiDashs I've read. I've always been interested in this mind control concept, but every other instance I've seen of it, it would be construed as rape-y. Seems though, with this, you've struck a balance and made a real, caring relationship out of it.

So well done, author. Well done indeed.

4072598
There was a plan for an epilogue, but I'm not currently in the right frame of mind to write it. And really, I have way too many sequels that need writing as is. At some point, I've got to crack down and say "This sequel gets priority, now." There's other stuff that needs doing.

I know there's no good way for me to end this story, simply because (among other things) people don't want it to end. My last name irl is neither Jackson nor Tolkien (although a Lord of the Stirrups trilogy would be pretty funny). I'm not talented enough to write more.

*ahem* Anyway, glad you like it. I may someday revisit it, or write that little epilogue sometime, but right now I can't, due to personal issues. I'll be publishing Snail's Pace later this week, and I want to finish the Spike fic I had planned, and then I urgently need to take a break and focus on college and arts. There's a Quorum Sensing Sequel I need to get working on, the Flight Camp sequel needs to be expanded from its first few spoilers, and Changeling Blood has *counts on his fingers* at least five sequel ideas that are all viable and all build on one another. I'll be writing those during the hiatus, but not publishing. Expect a blog on the topic around the time of Snail's Pace's publishing.

4072627

No worries at all, bud. Take it from me, college needs all the attention you can give it. I went through it myself.

Could be worse. You could be retiring from writing entirely for school; it's nice to see you're still committing to what you love to do, alongside your schooling.

Hello? Ground Control to Captain Rainbow Dash?

There's something wrong, your circuit's crashed. Can you hear me, Rainbow Dash?
Sorry, couldn't resist.

In any case, excellently done by all accounts. Thank you for one of the best combinations of plot and plots I've read on the site. Should a sequel ever appear, I know I'll love every word. For now, though, I'm content to enjoy the warm fuzzies and the knowledge that Scootaloo will, in time, fly in this continuity.

This is very much like Wrabbit's trilogy (from my perspective): So good to read and so sad to see it go At least it was a fun ride.

I won't ask for a sequel but I would be happy to see it continue onward. Thanks for the embarrassment btw. Love ya anyways

4072828 4073657
It's funny because she really is a captain

As for Scootaloo, I just don't see a reason not to let her fly given the setting. I might do a fic where she is genuinely handicapped for some reason, but... yeah, that'd be low priority for me. I'm sure there's an angle to make it work, though, I'm just not a fan of the idea overall.

Anyway, glad you liked the story, and the ending. My next work will be sadder more depressing in tone, and a little preachier than I'd like, but it's a close to home topic that I need to get off my chest. You'll see. Well, if you like that sort of thing. The issue with continuing is something I'll end up addressing in a blog post sometime soon, I think. There's a lot of factors involved. Suffice to say, I had intended to leave the story there, with one little epilogue/chuckle between Rainbow Dash and Twilight that I may get around to adding. Sequel-wise, the issue is that I've already got a story with a lesbian couple adopting: Changeling Blood. A lot of the ideas I have for those sequels would kinda make a sequel to this thing be redundant. And if Twi and Rainbow don't adopt, then... I'd have to think about what they do in a sequel aside from fooling around.

I suppose telling the royals can make for a good story... especially if Twilight then has to explain it to the griphons or other foreign leaders... except I already have a griphon nation in Changeling Blood starting to see the problem? I hate repeating myself or rehashing old material, and the only reason I'm not called out on it more is because my stories are diverse enough so people who read one aren't aware I've done this before. My three flagship OC's and Upside Rumble were really close in terms of theme and character arc. Part of the reason I wrote this story is because... well, I wanted to draw more new readers and it was something I hadn't tried yet. I'm sure I could think of something ( "Wait, if we got married, would that make me a princess?" "Of course it would, but my brother's in the same position and he's training athletes right now, so it wouldn't matter that much. Now get back to what you were doing and twirl your tongue around a little faster, pet.")

I'll think about it, but after I'm done with the stuff I've promised to do.

4073711
Clearly there's only one thing to do. If a sequel to this story would be too similar to a story you've already written, then I'm going to go read that story. Well, The Trial of Faux Pas first, but you know what I mean.

It's over.
And now I have dirt in my eye.
It's very manly dirt, but just dirt.
fin6.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/a4b83e47454f499cf743fa6287bca38a.gif
Yes-sir-y.

themavesite.com/TMS-Pictures/Epic/Memes/NotBadObama.png

This was a pretty good fic. Excellent character development. You were able to flesh out a very loving, albeit unconventional, relationship in only a few short chapter. Kudos.

Don't really want a sequel, just a side story where you aren't bound by narrative restrictions and can just throw yourself fully into writing kinky scenes for these two without some overarching plot getting in the way <3

Really great story, so sad that it's over.

4073831
I will get around to writing how Bon Bon and Lyra first meet their adoptive son, but that's a plan for the future. Changeling Blood, right now, doesn't focus that much on it. It's on my mile-long parchment to-do list.

After the abrupt shift from basement to picnic, I was bit confused as to what was going on. After things once again shifted back to the sex scene, it made more sense. You use a horizontal rule to separate those shifts a few times during the chapter, but not consistently. The following sentences are the end of their block and should have a horizontal rule after them to mark the shift:

“I’ve got some good news and some bad news.”

What do we do now?

So come on, pet, I want to know what it’s like to be groomed by a future Wonderbolt.”

Well, huh.

I can't say I am all that sure what I was expecting out of an ending. I don't think I expected it to end this chapter necessarily, nor did I really expect to see "the end" when I got to the bottom of this particular chapter. I'll wait til I give the whole story a read through from start to end though to really make any more deep analysis of it.

On the whole, enjoyable story. I came into it with a bit of hesitation, worried that it would be too fetishy. I'm glad it turned out not to be just a mindless clop story, and instead we have something a bit more meaningful. I think too many stories overplay the "zeal" of participating in a fetish, and make the shame/hiding parts too hammy. I think this story captured a much more natural feel to the situation.

This story just continues to blow my mind. I loved the parallel scene running along with their confession at the picnick. Those little flecks of dust were most certainly irritating and those were the manliest and poniest tears ever not spilled, because nobody could prove it. It was just a perfectly sweet ending and the length of the story allowed for the main characters to explore one another well enough to call it love.

Perfect Twidash.

4083911
Um, from where I'm sitting, there are horizontal rules under those lines. I don't know if that's not showing for other people, but I'm looking at it right now and there's no difference. I also didn't sneakily add any.

All in all, I get what you're saying about the story as a whole. I had this ending in mind from the start, but a lot of the stuff in between was added more on the fly, which made the thing get a lot bigger than originally anticipated. I wanted to keep that ending, though.

The original intent was to write something that is basically a clopfic, but has enough depth for people who don't like clop to enjoy it. I think I can call it a success based on feedback, but it's not as balanced between the two as I'd like. That's more of an issue on concept-level than execution-level, though, so there's not much that can done about it in editing. Or I could slap some bonus chapters on it sometime .

Anyway, glad you enjoyed it, thanks for the feedback.

god dam it you dont get to end like that ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

That was a great chapter I agree with pinkie that is the most important question. I can't wait to see how the families react, this will be interesting. Also I would believe that Cadence would probably be the best pony to talk about purple magic. I'm sure she is experienced in it being the representation of love. I loved how you went back and forth I think that did well that style of writing is hard to do right and you did. I WANT MOAR SOON If that is alright with you.

what? end? that's it? there was more sexy mind control stuff in the first chapter than the whole fic , what a gip.....

I have to be honest, I was expecting Twilight to pull off a purple magic alicorn transformation of Rainbow. (It wouldn't be the first time she'd pulled off magic that no one else could get to work.)

Great story none the less.

4115382
One of the scenes that didn't make it in was Rainbow Dash finding herself in the same dream state as Twilight was, with Luna saying she qualified to ascend to alicornhood. Rainbow's response basically amounted to "That's very nice of you to offer, but I'm gonna have to turn it down. It was right for Twilight, but it's not right for me." And so on. It would have derailed the story too much.

Glad you enjoyed it

Wow, great story. I'm usualy not one for this kind of stuff but I couldn't help but be curious with the premise, so I checked it out. Glad I did. Its more then just a weird romance story, its got lots of humor and interesting stuff to think about. Sad that there won't be a sequel, but now that I think about it, I don't think it needs one. You ended the story just fine. Looking forward to your future stuff.

4171121
I hope you do. Be warned, though, it's actually quite light on the clop content. It kind of diverged in the course of writing, since originally the first chapter was going to stand as a oneshot. Popular demand led to what you have now... but on my terms .

This fic....was amazing. Took me a few days to read it, but I am pleasantly suprised. I hope to read more of your work down the road!!

Omg, today`s episode

You know whats weird? This mind control story became less and less about mind control and yet.... I loved it more and more as it went on^^ I've read through this in like three days which hasnt happened since I've re-read my fav story on this site a few months ago^^ Really really great job done here^^ thanks for the ride^^

If you could, do you think you could maybe write the daring do and foxfire story? Please. I'll give you a muffin.

Fetish clopfic with plot!.. Wow, it's really rarity. Definitely upvote! Thanks for great story, dear author!

4775900
You are very welcome. I'm glad people enjoy the story for both aspects of it, even if the comedy can be a little *ahem* niche, shall we say

4780788
I'd very much like to see the sequel, if you ever write it.

4780799
None are planned right now, mainly because of lack of ideas and other sequels in need of writing. Someone suggested writing the Foxfire story, though, that has some creative space I could mine out further.

The real issue with writing a sequel to this is making it unpredictable, and for that I'd have to get some random idea and just go "throw that in there, it'll work". So far, none have really qualified. Adoption's one idea, but too obvious. I can do better

4780811
Maybe something about Lyra and Bon-Bon?.. Or some adventures of mane6, mostly Teen, but where Twilight's hypnotic control over RD helps a lot or even save the day. Also, four their friends will see it, and it will be interesting to read about their reactions, maybe shock, then acceptance... It would be interesting character-building.

This story is a fantastically enjoyable read. The humor was fabulous the whole way through, and I congratulate you on the accomplishment of being the first to use rubber alicorns. I spent several chapters looking forward to the reveal of them and was not disappointed. At some points Twilight's behavior seemed off, at least in the sense of being out of character, but you always managed to give a satisfying explanation for it. Dash's behavior and thinking was, at least to my knowledge, a quite believable depiction of submissiveness. As promised in the title, the mind control was indeed quite erotic, so no disappointment there :). You also handled their relationship really well. The growth of it, and the secrecy they tried to maintain were very enjoyable to read.
This story has earned you my following, and I look forward to seeing what you have done with your other stories.

4910120
Not to spoil it, but no. That's just the standard 'getting to grips with a new discovery' kind of thing. In fact, I think it pretty much stops once they get to CoCoCon. That's pretty much the beginning of the end.

I can't quite put my feelings into words, so here you go:

This really, really well-written. I love how you dealt with the issues of trust and psychological hang-ups, without making them gimmicks. That having problems doesn't mean you're broken, and asking for help isn't weakness. That a huge mistake can still be forgiven if you are honest and do your best to earn that trust back. That you showed how someone can be submissive in a loving relationship, but still be a strong person. And that a dominant person should honestly care about their partner, always being careful to make sure they're okay with what's happening. It really brightened my day to see such a loving, tender story with a happy ending that still made sense.

Also, props for the great bits of humor. The whole birthday party was fantastic, especially comments about Twilight's preening and Pinkie tossing out that trigger by accident. And the whole convention. Red and black alicorns FTW.

4982834
Glad you enjoyed it . A lot of the story was improvised as it went along, but the ending was always the reveal, the convention always had rubber alicorns, bat ponies became rousettes bcause of the next fic that's coming up, and Pinkie's lines were pretty much dead set right from the start. My goal was to write a clopfic with plot, and as odd as it turned out, I'm glad it hit the mark for people.

To be perfectly honest, this story wouldn't have happened if it hadn't been for the audience asking for it. It was going to be a oneshot of the first chapter, and it remained such for a while. But TwiDash is popular, the concept appealed to people, and to be perfectly honest I was looking for a popularity boost at the time. But just writing some clop just didn't feel right, so it ended up like this.

You might also be interested to know you are currently my 299th watcher. One more and we can take the fight to the Persians .

4982942 Wise Cracker

Honestly, I was just expecting some mind-control clop when I stumbled across this. (There isn't enough MC clop in the fandom. ) So I was pretty surprised to find an adorable story that really covered the topic of dom/sub play so well. Along with the clop.

You might also be interested to know you are currently my 299th watcher. One more and we can take the fight to the Persians .

"THIS. IS. PONYVILLE!"

I really enjoyed this story!

5160983
I haven't actually watched Topen Gurren Lagam (I think that's what it is?) so no. This is more of a general chaoist attitude I snuck in. Seemed appropriate.

5208028
Well, I think you've gotten past the point in the story where things are muddled and confused. It was never my intention to make the relationship a loveless or even rape-y one, but there's no other angle I could start from that really let it evolve naturally. If I did my job right, it should come off as a consensual D/s relationship with hypnosis thrown in. It's also a lot more light-hearted (read: comical) once they get to CoCoCon.

Hope you enjoy the rest of it, in any case.

Hey Wise, sounds like you might have some heavy stuff going on, so I'm just going to say this:

Real life comes first mate- friends, family, job, health, etc. While I'd love to see this story continue a little more (mostly in development of the TwiDash now that it's in the open so to speak), I can understand how it is when too many things pile on at once; trying to force yourself to write more of this if you don't... I guess feel it is the best way to say it?... is not only bad for you (makes you feel burnt out and possibly even lose your drive) but it won't be the same.

Take it easy and if/when you feel like writing more, or a sequel, know that we'll be here to read :D

5307850
Thanks. Quorum Sensing sequels are taking priority right now, and the novel I'm writing for NaNoWriMo. It has pegasi and griphons in it, but it's not MLP. As for everything else... yeah, Blender is still a bit of a drag, I'm trying to get a 3D Scootaloo going, but shoulders are a pain to get right. I'll probably end up cheating on that one (again).

Anyhoof, much obliged for the sentiment. I don't have any plans for a sequel to this, mostly because I can't quite think of any really good ideas that'd justify it. The closest I've got is one of the two discovering one of the foals in town has a budding mind control or bondage fetish, and then she has to very carefully explain why certain things are borderline behaviour without setting a bad example herself. The issues with that are 1) there's not a lot of room for the plot to go, at best it's a cute romance story and 2) kids and sexuality is a very, very hot topic, and I'm already covering that angle in another sequel. I'd want to keep it fresh, you know? Another option is that one of the two finds herself separated because of other duties, and they end up having to get into shenanigans to get any time together. Again, there's not a lot of stakes there, and it's a bit predictable. Of course, the final and probably most obvious angle is that another pony (or changeling, any enemy, really) comes in and takes advantage of Rainbow Dash's subbiness to get her to do... something bad. I'm pretty sure that's been done, though, and even if it hasn't I'd want this series to be light-hearted fetish clop. So yeah, top of my head, nothing in the works as of yet.

If anything does come up (heh...) I'll be sure to announce it accordingly.

As for real life, one small remark: I am three years away from the cliché of an overweight 30-year-old virgin who still lives in his parents' basement, so there is some worry. But on the bright side: I am not overweight, and technically it's the attic. So it could always be worse.

5307944

To that last bit - look on the bright side - staying with your parents, you can put the money you would otherwise spend on rent and utilities towards paying off other things, or save it up :)

5369328
A good starting resource is "Look Into My Eyes" by Peter Masters. It's very basic, but the first few chapters include induction and some applications with a partner. Other than that, it's really just a question of taking the time to lay back and relax and do mental imagery. Which in and of itself is harder than it sounds, oddly enough.

5375241
Actually, oddly enough, no. I just needed a reason for Rainbow Dash to be tired that Twilight could comfort her for, and given the context of the fic that was the easiest thing to bring up. I'm actually fine with Twilight's ascension to princesshood, my main gripe with Magical Mystery Cure is in the first half of the episode. It picks up after Celestia's song, I found.

That said, while I do try to keep author's bias out of my stories where I can, sometimes you just can't shake the impression. At any rate, I'm glad that little detail didn't put you off. Trust me, the story gets a bit heavy around the middle, but once CoCoCon runs around it's a lot more light-hearted.

5496199
Had this discussion early on, and basically: the show portrays them as anthropomorphised ponies. There's parts to the ponies that are human in anatomy, and human anatomy is more familiar to most, so I went with that.

Well, I guess that's the end. It certainly wasn't a big and crazy ending like I've seen in other stories, but this seems pretty fitting. The entire story was good and everything flowed together nicely. Twilight and Dash came closer together through everything they did together, including that funny CoCoCon stuff. I wish I ad more to say here, but I don't... oddly enough. I'll be looking forward to reading more by you in the future!

~SolidFire