So, you're playing the lesbian angle. I gotta admit, it's a bit refreshing to see Dash a bit... iunno, repressed, maybe? She's usually so confident, especially so in clopfics. She's usually the most brazen about it, either being fillies only or anyone "because it feels good." So, seeing her unsure of her sexuality is very nice. Also Twilight having just that slight undercurrent of intentions is... very, um... nice. I seem to be using that a lot here...
So, to recap, this story has me intrigued despite it including two things I really usually don't like: full-on lesbian Dashie, and inter-mane six shipping. You are a damn good author, but me... I don't even know who I am anymore...
3568133 Hey, it happens to the best of us. I don't like olives, capers or sardines but the wife can make them into a dish that I just can't stop eating. It's just one of those mysteries life likes to throw at us occasionally.
3568133 I think maybe the word you're looking for is 'oblivious'? In this story, Rainbow Dash is presented as never having really explored intimacy, while what you describe is a Dash who fervently strives to get as much intimacy as possible. The main focus of the story (I hope) is her discovery of what she finds arousing, among other things. So maybe this story's different because here, it's something new for her?
And keep in mind, Rainbow Dash had a boyfriend in this storyline. She doesn't consider herself a lesbian (yet ?). As for Twilight, that question is answered later. Like I said in the author's notes, Twilight is hard to write properly in this thing. She's very confused, and thereby confusing .
Glad I'm doing something right, at any rate. Of course, given how we've seen Rainbow react to something new she enjoys, you can probably guess how this is going to go wrong, too .
“Yeah, a little.” Rainbow Dash shook her head. “Okay, a lot. I used to be pretty hyperactive when I was little. I had trouble concentrating, so my mom and dad taught me to count my breath to slow down.” Twilight marked that first point off. “And how quickly do you breathe normally?” Rainbow sighed. “Seven a minute, in and out. But I know I’m supposed to cut it in half. I’ve been trying, but… nothing works. I think it used to be slower, though.”
I usually don't point things like this out because they're usually non-essential tidbits of information that don't really matter in the long run, but you went through the effort of explicitly pointing it out—and misinformation drives me crazy.
The average respiratory rate for a person of Dash's age is 12-20 bpm (breaths per minute.) Anything below 12 bpm is considered bradypnea (slow breathing) and anything below 8 bpm is considered a severe medical emergency; cutting Dash's semi-normal respiratory rate of 7 bpm in half would starve her body and, more importantly, her brain of oxygen. This would cause hypoxia and, most likely, respiratory failure.
Even if you were using normal equine vital signs (8-12 bpm) cutting Dash's respiration in half would still be incredibly dangerous. Her breathing is already slow—something not abnormal for career athlete due to superior physical ability and condition. The same thing happens with heart rate and blood pressure for those in top physical condition.
Sorry. It's a pet peeve of mine—like grammar and spelling and people that use the word "literally" wrong; I just have to say something.
With that out of the way, I have to say that I'm enjoying the direction this story is taking. I can't wait to read the next update!
Comment posted by Wise Cracker deleted Dec 3rd, 2013
3572727 I know, I'm not offended. Just annoyed at myself for indulging in a bad habit again. It's caused some trouble with other stories in the past, so trying to stamp it out for this one.
Suffice to say some personal issues are affecting my writing and commenting habits right now, but it's not something I (or any author for that matter) should saddle their readers with. I didn't delete the comment because I was offended, I deleted it because I felt it wasn't worth keeping up. It was also posted close to retiring for the night.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a reindeer who needs a new right eye.
Interesting theory regarding pony vs. dragon (and possibly human) sight. I like it quite a lot. As for the "Spike syndrome" thing, my thought on the matter is that it stems from two sources: dragons don't mature as quickly as ponies, and how Spike is treated is rather inconsistent. His mind is that of a child, but he isn't consistently treated as any age, so he doesn't know how mature he's expected to be. (As for "Spike at Your Service," my favorite theory is that he was either subconsciously or intentionally goofing up so he wouldn't feel like he was betraying Twilight.)
As for the story itself, loving it so far and looking forward to more as both main characters grow and know themselves and each other. Possibly in the Biblical sense.
Loving this story so far especially your take on Rainbow Dash.
Also I noticed that you spelt practice as practise. Unless I am mistaken practise is an archaic form of practice in the USA. So that must mean either you like older word forms or are a non citizen of the US. I think US citizens myself included tend to think we are something special and need our own spelling sometimes. If it ain't broke don't fix it.
Oh the build up is killing me!
Hmm...
So, you're playing the lesbian angle. I gotta admit, it's a bit refreshing to see Dash a bit... iunno, repressed, maybe? She's usually so confident, especially so in clopfics. She's usually the most brazen about it, either being fillies only or anyone "because it feels good." So, seeing her unsure of her sexuality is very nice. Also Twilight having just that slight undercurrent of intentions is... very, um... nice. I seem to be using that a lot here...
So, to recap, this story has me intrigued despite it including two things I really usually don't like: full-on lesbian Dashie, and inter-mane six shipping. You are a damn good author, but me... I don't even know who I am anymore...
3568133 Hey, it happens to the best of us. I don't like olives, capers or sardines but the wife can make them into a dish that I just can't stop eating. It's just one of those mysteries life likes to throw at us occasionally.
3568133
I think maybe the word you're looking for is 'oblivious'? In this story, Rainbow Dash is presented as never having really explored intimacy, while what you describe is a Dash who fervently strives to get as much intimacy as possible. The main focus of the story (I hope) is her discovery of what she finds arousing, among other things. So maybe this story's different because here, it's something new for her?
And keep in mind, Rainbow Dash had a boyfriend in this storyline. She doesn't consider herself a lesbian (yet ?). As for Twilight, that question is answered later. Like I said in the author's notes, Twilight is hard to write properly in this thing. She's very confused, and thereby confusing .
Glad I'm doing something right, at any rate. Of course, given how we've seen Rainbow react to something new she enjoys, you can probably guess how this is going to go wrong, too .
Loving it so far. I can't wait to see what happens.
I usually don't point things like this out because they're usually non-essential tidbits of information that don't really matter in the long run, but you went through the effort of explicitly pointing it out—and misinformation drives me crazy.
The average respiratory rate for a person of Dash's age is 12-20 bpm (breaths per minute.) Anything below 12 bpm is considered bradypnea (slow breathing) and anything below 8 bpm is considered a severe medical emergency; cutting Dash's semi-normal respiratory rate of 7 bpm in half would starve her body and, more importantly, her brain of oxygen. This would cause hypoxia and, most likely, respiratory failure.
Even if you were using normal equine vital signs (8-12 bpm) cutting Dash's respiration in half would still be incredibly dangerous. Her breathing is already slow—something not abnormal for career athlete due to superior physical ability and condition. The same thing happens with heart rate and blood pressure for those in top physical condition.
Sorry. It's a pet peeve of mine—like grammar and spelling and people that use the word "literally" wrong; I just have to say something.
With that out of the way, I have to say that I'm enjoying the direction this story is taking. I can't wait to read the next update!
3569763
Of couse; what do I know? I'm just an EMT. :P
Anyway, that minor dispute aside, I enjoy this fic. I didn't mean to offend.
projecting yourself?....
This is a really interesting idea. Mind if I share this idea with a Brony Analyzer?
Grrr... you would stop it there, wouldn't you?
3569613
Deleted my reply. Trying to break the habit of putting too much personal stuff online. Doesn't always work, obviously.
3572650
That was meant to be tongue-in-cheek, not rude; I'm not an asshole.
3572727
I know, I'm not offended. Just annoyed at myself for indulging in a bad habit again. It's caused some trouble with other stories in the past, so trying to stamp it out for this one.
Suffice to say some personal issues are affecting my writing and commenting habits right now, but it's not something I (or any author for that matter) should saddle their readers with. I didn't delete the comment because I was offended, I deleted it because I felt it wasn't worth keeping up. It was also posted close to retiring for the night.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a reindeer who needs a new right eye.
Interesting theory regarding pony vs. dragon (and possibly human) sight. I like it quite a lot. As for the "Spike syndrome" thing, my thought on the matter is that it stems from two sources: dragons don't mature as quickly as ponies, and how Spike is treated is rather inconsistent. His mind is that of a child, but he isn't consistently treated as any age, so he doesn't know how mature he's expected to be. (As for "Spike at Your Service," my favorite theory is that he was either subconsciously or intentionally goofing up so he wouldn't feel like he was betraying Twilight.)
As for the story itself, loving it so far and looking forward to more as both main characters grow and know themselves and each other. Possibly in the Biblical sense.
Loving this story so far especially your take on Rainbow Dash.
Also I noticed that you spelt practice as practise. Unless I am mistaken practise is an archaic form of practice in the USA. So that must mean either you like older word forms or are a non citizen of the US. I think US citizens myself included tend to think we are something special and need our own spelling sometimes. If it ain't broke don't fix it.
It's on the update list and it says in notifications that a new chapter was posted half an hour ago but it doesn't show...
I did not expect a story with this title to take such a mature approach. I am impressed and delighted.
3569613
Are those numbers really accurate? I'm 58, and I have 6-9 bpm when calm and relaxed, and 5-7 when lying down.
If I'm not being relaxed? Maybe 7-10 bpm. (They're not as deep breath).
Active? More (and shallower).