Dude, you just keep nailing these characters. I now can fully see these two being totally in lesbians with each other and being all dom/sub.
Though, that transition was jarring as fuck. Like, one sentence we're talkng about clouds, the BAM! New scene. Might want to throw in a line or two about the change of day/place.
Scootaloo stealthily wiped away that tear that was forming. She broke away from the hug to look Rainbow in the eyes. “But then why are my wings so small?”
Rainbow Dash shrugged. “Probably because you’re a dodo.”
Scootaloo went quiet, and the maintenance pony in charge of running Scootaloo’s head kicked the computer that had gotten stuck whilst processing that last sentence. “What?”
I laughed so hard at thatonce my brain processed it anyways
Wow. I never thought it would come to this. I finally admitted I love Rainbow Dash, and Rainbow Dash loves me. She forgave me, at least partially. We’re both weird in the way we express love, sure, but that doesn’t mean it’s not real. And we’ve both really matured since we first met each other.
Right on cue, a hollar came from down below.
“She turned Daring Do into an alicorn?! This series is ruined forever!”
Spike shot up from his bed. Twilight caught him in mid-jump, placed him back in his bed, gave him the five bits she owed him for the bet he’d just won, then patted him on the head and strode off to let him sleep.
The laughter came back and it brought it's friend tears of mirth
All that aside, it is nice to see another side of RD that she hasn't really explored in herself at all Strange expression of love are still love and it's nice to see them both trying
3785288 Honestly, I don't see what the big deal was. So what if Season 3 wasn't as emotionally engaging as Season 2? Season 2 had some of the harshest moments in the entire series, of any series. Tara Strong really had to throw all her talent at some of the emotional breakdowns. We got to see our beloved characters go through hell and back, and come out triumphant. You can't be expected to keep that up, the viewers will tire of it, a series needs to have its breathers from time to time.
So what if Season 3 had a villain that was a little more on the cartoony side of things. At least he served his purpose, and I thought he was entertaining, especially with his mass mind control. Plus, Season 3 gave more screentime to some of my favorite characters on the whole show, can't fault it for that. As for the finale, sure, it made no sense and it still doesn't, but it did bring some much-needed closure and made for some development on the main characters' part, as well as introduce a whole new aspect to the plot and canon of the show.
So I totally agree with you there. Season 3 of Teen Titans was not as bad as everyone makes it out to be.
I'm a little confused. Rainbow said she wanted to try lots of new things not just being a pet, then the next thing we know Twi's calling her pet again. I thought this was going in a direction of Rainbow being hypnotised to enact all kinds of fantasies, not necessarily knowing that she's under hypnosis. But after their talk, they just seemed to go back to the whole pet thing, I don't get it. I mean Rainbow doesn't have to know that she's being controlled for Twilight to enjoy her controlling of her.
3785408 The idea is that being a pet is one of the things she wants to be, even though it's completely counter to what she thinks she is. Being hypnotised will allow her to be different things, as well as get used to being something else. Rainbow needs the assurance that the way she is, the way she acts, isn't a constant. Right from the start, she's been saying that she worries about the mistakes she makes, she thinks she's somehow 'broken'. So going from her confident self to a pet doesn't just help her get relief from those worries (which was why she did it originally), it also reassures her that feeling like she needs to be repaired isn't an absolute.
Basically, it's that Rainbow Dash needs to be reminded that even though she might think she's dumb or acts crass, she can change for the better if she wants. I don't think there was any mention of Twilight hypnotising Rainbow without her knowledge, except for the purple magic aspect, which is a separate thing altogether. If it's not entirely clear in future chapters, I'll be sure to address it again where I can.
3785427 Yeah I see what you mean. When I said about her not being aware of it I only meant while she was under hypnosis, you know during the sessions. Before and after the sessions she'd be fully aware of what happened of course. I'm just not sure that she could really enact new scenarios properly if she's fully aware that Twilight is guiding her through it.
3785442 Oh, she'd know in the sessions, of course.
Try to picture it like this: -Twilight finds some mages of old used to visualise the sun shining on their hooves, then feeling the sunlight in the shade. Not an unreasonable thing, similar practices exist in occultism. -Twilight makes Rainbow see this image. Twilight expects this to have some magical effect on Rainbow's hooves. -Rainbow Dash notes her hooves are feeling better. -Twilight now doesn't know if that's because Rainbow Dash was expecting her hooves to feel better (placebo effect) or if the imagery did it. So it's not replicable, the research is meaningless. If she wants to be sure it's the magic doing it and not a placebo effect, that means Rainbow can't consciously know she focused on her hooves. It's not just to get the effect, it's an experiment, as far as Twilight is willing to admit (for now).
It's not going to be that big of an impact to the story, but its inclusion will get some justification and a bit of comedy later down the line. Don't worry, it'll make sense eventually... I hope
LOVED the pony breeds idea (I love little fiddley bit world building stuff like that). Now I'm curious what Fluttershy is as well as what the other tribes' breeds are (if they have specifics seeing as Rainbow didn't know one way or the other.) Also while I just personally prefer a scootaloo that can fly, this is done in such a mature and natural way that I can enjoy it and its still left up in the air (no pun intended ) enough that you could go either way with her so there's hope for scootafly yet. I hope you do come back with her one way or the other (I like closure.) Also now I kind of want to read a fic where Scoots cant fly (which goes against all my normal preferences ) but becomes a hang-gliding champion. I also like that you aren't fitting Twilight's and Rainbow's sexuality into a neat label, most fics (especially those involving sex) tend to just say "welp I'm gay now then." Which isnt wrong per se, but its nice to see something that isnt quite so clear cut. Also Daring-corn: so much yes.
I actually really liked the part with Scootaloo. And I think the whole pony breeds thing was a stroke of genius. Especially when you mentioned Snowflake. That was about the point where I thought: "Mind. Equals. BLOWN!" *head explodes*
Anyways, I was a bit confused during Rainbow's chat with Twilight. Maybe I just didn't read it quite right, but it seemed to me sort of like Rainbow didn't want to do the pet thing, but wanted to do it at the same time. I guess the gist of it is that she wants to be a pet sometimes, but the wording just kind of threw me off for some reason. Again, I might have just not read it quite right.
Anyways, this was a really great and emotional chapter, and I can't wait to see what you do with the upcoming presumably super kinky three parter. Your comment about a self-insert OC has me a bit wary, but consider me following with cautious optimism.
3786109 I've edited it for clarity's sake, so now Rainbow just lists the things she is in daily life, and not in private. The key part of the phrase should have been 'all the time', implying she doesn't want to feel stuck, or trapped by her public image. You know, kinda like how a princess might feel she needs to indulge in guilty pleasures because the people demand she be perfect... I have overthought it on that one, in hindsight.
I will say, I am liking where this is going, even if the clop-content is not as abundant as other fics. This one has plot (not the hindquarters of ponies, but actual meaningful STORY) and it's well-written, not just a sleazy story where Twiley and Dashie bump uglies until the pages are damp.
Huh. I was going to propose something a little more fearsome for Scoots's phenotype, like "emu," but your explanation works quite well. In any case, I love the idea of sub-breeds. I hope you do more with that, for all pony types. I wonder if there are classical unicorns out there... Also, why do peacock ponies need to watch out for with their tails? Given how often Applejack bites Dash's...
As for the second part... Porn with purpose. Clop with content. Raunch with rationale. I love it! I always welcome an actual in-story reason and deeper purpose for intimate scenes that's more than a thin excuse for ugly bumping. Even better, it's for science!
In all, wonderful Scootalove and Twidash, respectful treatment of the filly, and some lovely character development for all involved. The bit with Dash easing Scootaloo onto the clouds was magnificent. I look forward to more.
Final question: why Pokey Pierce for Scootaloo's father? And who's her mother? Sorry if that's been addressed.
3786285 Her mother was Aloe, hence the name Scootaloo: Shoot of Aloe. You can thank arcum42 for that, not sure if I credited him for that yet. And I went with Pokey Pierce because it needed to be a unicorn and a paediatrician. A safety pin for a cutie mark was as close as I could get, and he was present at Diamond's party. Basically, he's the only character I could fit into what I needed Scootaloo's dad to be. Using an OC would have been unnecessary.
Rainbow needing to watch her tail is a reference to peacock tails. The reason the breed is called 'peacock' and not 'peahen' is because peahens, the females, don't have that huge, heavy, colourful tail. A peacock pony breed, like the peacock bird, will tend to have bright tails that, like a peacock's, can get so big they get in the way of flight. The idea is that the hair just grows more out of control compared to other ponies', and that her hair is just not manageable, not like 'normal' pony manes are. If kept unchecked, that can get in the way of flying. It also implies that as a filly, Rainbow may have been cute, but she'd have a really hard ever looking pretty. I decided not to add that to the story, since I'm already stacking emotional complexes on the poor girl. It can be left implied. I only casually mention breeds in the three-parter, but err... saying I 'flesh out' some of the implications would be kind of accurate.
As for the remark on clop with purpose... Twilight and Rainbow have yet to have a serious, heartfelt lovemaking scene together. I didn't intend on going so light on it at first, but all things considered I think can still call this a 'romantic clop' and be justified as such. I think I do keep things tense enough to warrant calling it a clopfic, but I just believe in taking breathers, is all. It will return, but both parties need to be prepared to take the next step, which allows for some buildup. Mind control is a fairly heavy fetish, but it's consensual, so the end result's going to be somewhere in between smut and romance. Here's hoping it lands somewhere nice, eh ?
I honestly never believed I would find a story that not only plays into my weird-ass fetishes, but also makes keeps every pony perfectly in character, introduces touching and adorable story arcs, and makes me giggle like a fucking four year old in a single chapter. Wise Cracker, I think I may love you.
“It’s a massager. You’re supposed to put the tip on pressure points, eases off the tension.”
That is actually almost exactly what my own mother told me when I found one of her own "things." It wasn't until years later that I realized what it really was.
“Probably because you’re a dodo.”
"Hey! Don't call me things I don't know the meaning of!" But seriously, at first I thought you were just making a nod the the very beginning of Season 2, when Sweetie Belle calls her a dodo in front of Discord. Then you brought up Pony breeds... I can already feel my brain trying to pick it apart, extrapolate what little I know to apply to as much as I can manage, but there's not enough to get very far. Pegasi breeds are named after birds, that makes a lot of sense. I'd probably peg Fluttershy as something along the lines of a Heron or Crane: light colors, slim, graceful build, generally more reserved than other breeds, and not as sturdy either, but they are considered to be among the more beautiful breeds. I don't know what Earth Pony breeds are named after, but anypony could tell you that Pinkie's a breed apart. Unicorns, I'd hazard a guess have Noble as one of their breeds (Blueblood certainly acts as if he has his own pedigree), but other than that... maybe they'd be named after titles, like Artisan, Scholar or Serf?
...But now I'm rambling. Anyway, another great chapter, full of the warm fuzzy feels! And that's an order! Hop to it!
The Scoots part was absolutely adorable, Wise Cracker. I'm curious to see your ideas about pony breeds fleshed out more. But dammit, now I've got Marvin Gaye on a loop in my head. That sweet, sweet Sexual Healing.
The pony breed idea was the most satisfactory explanation I have ever seen, as to why in hell Snowflake looks likes he does and how he still can fly. Hope you don't mind me using it my self. Also, I really like that they want to experiment with more things then just the pet play and sex. Just Twilight dominating Rainbow would have been a good read, but with them looking at more things this will be a interesting story worth every second reading it. Having Scootaloo in this story is good, since it gives both Rainbow Dash a deeper and a more believable character, as you wanted, but also it gives more depth to the story. That this kinky things are parts of a daily life they are still living. I would love having more interaction between our couple here and others . Maybe how Scootaloo's doctors visit goes? I know you said you are starting to overuse her as a character and unsure if you want to, but I hope you do that, it would be nice seeing how that subplot finish. However, it's your call to make, and if you don't want to do it then I will just make something up for myself. Still, This story is one of the better ones, and I really hope it will keep on going to its conclusion.
The stuff about Pegasus breeds blew my mind. Brilliant. I love the explanation for Rainbow Dash's mane and tail and her boastfulness. It adds weight to her character because even her breed hovers above her, silently making demands of her to be awesome. Yes, awe-inspiring ancestors and pegasus breeds is awesome. I loved Heart's Warming Eve and its portrayal of the clans. The part about Scootaloo was exceptional. I loved how she was introduced to her first cloud, how Rainbow Dash knew the drill from flight camp and her natural leadership streak just carried her through that menoring. It's a trust building exercise, close your eyes and lean back, I'll catch you. That nails Loyalty as her element and I love that reference.
Then things stayed great as the Scootaloo scene was rounded up neatly without wasting space detailing her journey home. Bringing us right to some incredible Twidash. I loved the dialogue between them. It really did sound like they were making confessions of love. Everything mentioned in the many previous chapters, from hypnosis to Twilight's near-maniacal possessiveness and Rainbow Dash's own problems has all been answered now and Cadence's advice carries Twilight through the love confession.
The replay of Rainbow Dash's own inner dialogue now playing out between her and Scootaloo, exactly line for line, is scary and awesome all at once. It's an amazing, subtle hint to concepts like destiny and dream visions. A self-fulfilled prophecy.
Basically sum up my thoughts on this chapter and the way it built from previous chapters. I'm extremely happy to see we are getting more chapters and I am looking forward to it. Also, the joke at the end of the chapter was perfect! All my 'staches, Spike. You win one internet.
3792230 Thank you very much for saying that. I was worried it was getting slightly too sappy in places, but the next three chapters will be more comedic, and (minor spoiler) introduce both our characters to some new concepts.
And if you liked that little joke at the end, you're gonna love what next chapter ends on. I'm a little anxious about spoiling it, but it may very well be a FimFiction first. Stay tuned for next week
3788527 The bang is coming (and how), but after that I've got at least three more chapters to wrap everything up and put it to a (hopefully) satisfying ending.
I just hope I'm not over-hyping it now. Hope you like fetish-based humour, at least .
I'm re-reading this (again) and I can't get past this chapter without offering some kind of salute to Spike for that last paragraph. Here's to you Spike, and the author that makes you as awesome as you ought to be in the show.
The dialogue in this just blows me away, and yes, I still can't wrap my head around how awesome pegasus breeds are in your story.
You’re not the same pony you were yesterday, and tomorrow you won’t be the same pony you are today. It’s not a big deal if you think you’re scared or weak today, because… tomorrow, you’ll get to be a pony who isn’t.
Is Rainbow Dash secretly taking speech-making lessons from Kamina?
Scootaloo looked up nervously at Rainbow Dash. The tubular object in her hoof was still vibrating. Rainbow Dash raised an eyebrow. “It’s a massager. You’re supposed to put the tip on pressure points, eases off the tension.” She took the vibrating object from the girl’s hoof, pressed it into a nerve point on her neck to demonstrate its purpose, then put it back in place on her nightstand. Good thing I don’t have any sex toys lying around the house.
"Do not even mention canon.".....honestly, i think even canon doesn't care about canon. (i mean, Celestia used to have pink hair before it was retconned! as was Luna's old hair being just blue and not wavy before her redesign!)
daringcorn!
Dude, you just keep nailing these characters. I now can fully see these two being totally in lesbians with each other and being all dom/sub.
Though, that transition was jarring as fuck. Like, one sentence we're talkng about clouds, the BAM! New scene. Might want to throw in a line or two about the change of day/place.
My main complaint is that your url in the A/N isn't formatted to be clickable.
Clicky
[url =http://www.fimfiction.net/blog/274935/important-warning-concerning-upcoming-chapter-of-twidash-fic]whatever text you want[/ url]
remove the spaces before the =, and after the /.
3785249
Yeah, I was thinking of changing that bit, wasn't sure how. I'll edit it a bit.
I must say, I love the pony's breed explanation...![:scootangel:](https://static.fimfiction.net/images/emoticons/scootangel.png)
Keep up the good work...
I laughed so hard at that
once my brain processed it anyways
The laughter came back and it brought it's friend tears of mirth
All that aside, it is nice to see another side of RD that she hasn't really explored in herself at all
Strange expression of love are still love and it's nice to see them both trying
3785288
Honestly, I don't see what the big deal was. So what if Season 3 wasn't as emotionally engaging as Season 2? Season 2 had some of the harshest moments in the entire series, of any series. Tara Strong really had to throw all her talent at some of the emotional breakdowns. We got to see our beloved characters go through hell and back, and come out triumphant. You can't be expected to keep that up, the viewers will tire of it, a series needs to have its breathers from time to time.
So what if Season 3 had a villain that was a little more on the cartoony side of things. At least he served his purpose, and I thought he was entertaining, especially with his mass mind control. Plus, Season 3 gave more screentime to some of my favorite characters on the whole show, can't fault it for that. As for the finale, sure, it made no sense and it still doesn't, but it did bring some much-needed closure and made for some development on the main characters' part, as well as introduce a whole new aspect to the plot and canon of the show.
So I totally agree with you there. Season 3 of Teen Titans was not as bad as everyone makes it out to be.![:raritywink:](https://static.fimfiction.net/images/emoticons/raritywink.png)
I'm a little confused. Rainbow said she wanted to try lots of new things not just being a pet, then the next thing we know Twi's calling her pet again. I thought this was going in a direction of Rainbow being hypnotised to enact all kinds of fantasies, not necessarily knowing that she's under hypnosis. But after their talk, they just seemed to go back to the whole pet thing, I don't get it. I mean Rainbow doesn't have to know that she's being controlled for Twilight to enjoy her controlling of her.
3785408
The idea is that being a pet is one of the things she wants to be, even though it's completely counter to what she thinks she is. Being hypnotised will allow her to be different things, as well as get used to being something else. Rainbow needs the assurance that the way she is, the way she acts, isn't a constant. Right from the start, she's been saying that she worries about the mistakes she makes, she thinks she's somehow 'broken'. So going from her confident self to a pet doesn't just help her get relief from those worries (which was why she did it originally), it also reassures her that feeling like she needs to be repaired isn't an absolute.
Basically, it's that Rainbow Dash needs to be reminded that even though she might think she's dumb or acts crass, she can change for the better if she wants. I don't think there was any mention of Twilight hypnotising Rainbow without her knowledge, except for the purple magic aspect, which is a separate thing altogether. If it's not entirely clear in future chapters, I'll be sure to address it again where I can.
3785427 Yeah I see what you mean. When I said about her not being aware of it I only meant while she was under hypnosis, you know during the sessions. Before and after the sessions she'd be fully aware of what happened of course. I'm just not sure that she could really enact new scenarios properly if she's fully aware that Twilight is guiding her through it.
3785442
Oh, she'd know in the sessions, of course.
Try to picture it like this:
-Twilight finds some mages of old used to visualise the sun shining on their hooves, then feeling the sunlight in the shade. Not an unreasonable thing, similar practices exist in occultism.
-Twilight makes Rainbow see this image. Twilight expects this to have some magical effect on Rainbow's hooves.
-Rainbow Dash notes her hooves are feeling better.
-Twilight now doesn't know if that's because Rainbow Dash was expecting her hooves to feel better (placebo effect) or if the imagery did it. So it's not replicable, the research is meaningless. If she wants to be sure it's the magic doing it and not a placebo effect, that means Rainbow can't consciously know she focused on her hooves. It's not just to get the effect, it's an experiment, as far as Twilight is willing to admit (for now).
It's not going to be that big of an impact to the story, but its inclusion will get some justification and a bit of comedy later down the line. Don't worry, it'll make sense eventually... I hope![:twilightsheepish:](https://static.fimfiction.net/images/emoticons/twilightsheepish.png)
LOVED the pony breeds idea (I love little fiddley bit world building stuff like that). Now I'm curious what Fluttershy is as well as what the other tribes' breeds are (if they have specifics seeing as Rainbow didn't know one way or the other.)
and its still left up in the air (no pun intended
) enough that you could go either way with her so there's hope for scootafly yet. I hope you do come back with her one way or the other (I like closure.) Also now I kind of want to read a fic where Scoots cant fly (which goes against all my normal preferences
) but becomes a hang-gliding champion. ![:pinkiesmile:](https://static.fimfiction.net/images/emoticons/pinkiesmile.png)
![:rainbowwild:](https://static.fimfiction.net/images/emoticons/rainbowwild.png)
Also while I just personally prefer a scootaloo that can fly, this is done in such a mature and natural way that I can enjoy it
I also like that you aren't fitting Twilight's and Rainbow's sexuality into a neat label, most fics (especially those involving sex) tend to just say "welp I'm gay now then." Which isnt wrong per se, but its nice to see something that isnt quite so clear cut.
Also Daring-corn: so much yes.
I actually really liked the part with Scootaloo. And I think the whole pony breeds thing was a stroke of genius. Especially when you mentioned Snowflake. That was about the point where I thought: "Mind. Equals. BLOWN!" *head explodes*
Anyways, I was a bit confused during Rainbow's chat with Twilight. Maybe I just didn't read it quite right, but it seemed to me sort of like Rainbow didn't want to do the pet thing, but wanted to do it at the same time. I guess the gist of it is that she wants to be a pet sometimes, but the wording just kind of threw me off for some reason. Again, I might have just not read it quite right.
Anyways, this was a really great and emotional chapter, and I can't wait to see what you do with the upcoming presumably super kinky three parter. Your comment about a self-insert OC has me a bit wary, but consider me following with cautious optimism.![:twilightsmile:](https://static.fimfiction.net/images/emoticons/twilightsmile.png)
3786109
I've edited it for clarity's sake, so now Rainbow just lists the things she is in daily life, and not in private. The key part of the phrase should have been 'all the time', implying she doesn't want to feel stuck, or trapped by her public image. You know, kinda like how a princess might feel she needs to indulge in guilty pleasures because the people demand she be perfect... I have overthought it on that one, in hindsight.
3786123 Okay. I went back and read it again and it seems a lot clearer to me now. I'm impressed that you went back and did that so quickly though.![:applejackconfused:](https://static.fimfiction.net/images/emoticons/applejackconfused.png)
Anyways, thanks for the explanation, but now I'm not sure what you think you overthought... My hurt brains...
I will say, I am liking where this is going, even if the clop-content is not as abundant as other fics. This one has plot (not the hindquarters of ponies, but actual meaningful STORY) and it's well-written, not just a sleazy story where Twiley and Dashie bump uglies until the pages are damp.
Huh. I was going to propose something a little more fearsome for Scoots's phenotype, like "emu," but your explanation works quite well.
In any case, I love the idea of sub-breeds. I hope you do more with that, for all pony types. I wonder if there are classical unicorns out there...
Also, why do peacock ponies need to watch out for with their tails? Given how often Applejack bites Dash's...
As for the second part... Porn with purpose. Clop with content. Raunch with rationale. I love it! I always welcome an actual in-story reason and deeper purpose for intimate scenes that's more than a thin excuse for ugly bumping. Even better, it's for science!![:twilightsmile:](https://static.fimfiction.net/images/emoticons/twilightsmile.png)
In all, wonderful Scootalove and Twidash, respectful treatment of the filly, and some lovely character development for all involved. The bit with Dash easing Scootaloo onto the clouds was magnificent. I look forward to more.
Final question: why Pokey Pierce for Scootaloo's father? And who's her mother? Sorry if that's been addressed.
3786285
Her mother was Aloe, hence the name Scootaloo: Shoot of Aloe. You can thank arcum42 for that, not sure if I credited him for that yet. And I went with Pokey Pierce because it needed to be a unicorn and a paediatrician. A safety pin for a cutie mark was as close as I could get, and he was present at Diamond's party. Basically, he's the only character I could fit into what I needed Scootaloo's dad to be. Using an OC would have been unnecessary.
Rainbow needing to watch her tail is a reference to peacock tails. The reason the breed is called 'peacock' and not 'peahen' is because peahens, the females, don't have that huge, heavy, colourful tail. A peacock pony breed, like the peacock bird, will tend to have bright tails that, like a peacock's, can get so big they get in the way of flight. The idea is that the hair just grows more out of control compared to other ponies', and that her hair is just not manageable, not like 'normal' pony manes are. If kept unchecked, that can get in the way of flying. It also implies that as a filly, Rainbow may have been cute, but she'd have a really hard ever looking pretty. I decided not to add that to the story, since I'm already stacking emotional complexes on the poor girl. It can be left implied. I only casually mention breeds in the three-parter, but err... saying I 'flesh out' some of the implications would be kind of accurate.
As for the remark on clop with purpose... Twilight and Rainbow have yet to have a serious, heartfelt lovemaking scene together. I didn't intend on going so light on it at first, but all things considered I think can still call this a 'romantic clop' and be justified as such. I think I do keep things tense enough to warrant calling it a clopfic, but I just believe in taking breathers, is all. It will return, but both parties need to be prepared to take the next step, which allows for some buildup. Mind control is a fairly heavy fetish, but it's consensual, so the end result's going to be somewhere in between smut and romance. Here's hoping it lands somewhere nice, eh
?
This maintenance pony is a fun idea. Mind if I use it with the other CMC or perhaps even the mane six?![:pinkiehappy:](https://static.fimfiction.net/images/emoticons/pinkiehappy.png)
3786411
I do not mind at all. Go for it!
3786331![:facehoof:](https://static.fimfiction.net/images/emoticons/facehoof.png)
![:derpytongue2:](https://static.fimfiction.net/images/emoticons/derpytongue2.png)
Oh. Right. One of my favorite bits of nomenclature/etymology in pony fiction. I am such a derp sometimes.
I honestly never believed I would find a story that not only plays into my weird-ass fetishes, but also makes keeps every pony perfectly in character, introduces touching and adorable story arcs, and makes me giggle like a fucking four year old in a single chapter. Wise Cracker, I think I may love you.
That is actually almost exactly what my own mother told me when I found one of her own "things." It wasn't until years later that I realized what it really was.![:twilightblush:](https://static.fimfiction.net/images/emoticons/twilightblush.png)
"Hey! Don't call me things I don't know the meaning of!"
.
But seriously, at first I thought you were just making a nod the the very beginning of Season 2, when Sweetie Belle calls her a dodo in front of Discord.
Then you brought up Pony breeds...
I can already feel my brain trying to pick it apart, extrapolate what little I know to apply to as much as I can manage, but there's not enough to get very far.
Pegasi breeds are named after birds, that makes a lot of sense. I'd probably peg Fluttershy as something along the lines of a Heron or Crane: light colors, slim, graceful build, generally more reserved than other breeds, and not as sturdy either, but they are considered to be among the more beautiful breeds.
I don't know what Earth Pony breeds are named after, but anypony could tell you that Pinkie's a breed apart
Unicorns, I'd hazard a guess have Noble as one of their breeds (Blueblood certainly acts as if he has his own pedigree), but other than that... maybe they'd be named after titles, like Artisan, Scholar or Serf?
...But now I'm rambling.
Anyway, another great chapter, full of the warm fuzzy feels!
And that's an order! Hop to it!
The Scoots part was absolutely adorable, Wise Cracker. I'm curious to see your ideas about pony breeds fleshed out more. But dammit, now I've got Marvin Gaye on a loop in my head. That sweet, sweet Sexual Healing.
uuuh so is the story going to go back to being about it's premise or has it completely gone off the railing now?....
The pony breed idea was the most satisfactory explanation I have ever seen, as to why in hell Snowflake looks likes he does and how he still can fly. Hope you don't mind me using it my self.![:rainbowkiss:](https://static.fimfiction.net/images/emoticons/rainbowkiss.png)
.![:pinkiehappy:](https://static.fimfiction.net/images/emoticons/pinkiehappy.png)
Also, I really like that they want to experiment with more things then just the pet play and sex. Just Twilight dominating Rainbow would have been a good read, but with them looking at more things this will be a interesting story worth every second reading it.
Having Scootaloo in this story is good, since it gives both Rainbow Dash a deeper and a more believable character, as you wanted, but also it gives more depth to the story. That this kinky things are parts of a daily life they are still living. I would love having more interaction between our couple here and others
Maybe how Scootaloo's doctors visit goes? I know you said you are starting to overuse her as a character and unsure if you want to, but I hope you do that, it would be nice seeing how that subplot finish. However, it's your call to make, and if you don't want to do it then I will just make something up for myself.
Still, This story is one of the better ones, and I really hope it will keep on going to its conclusion.
It feels like this story is almost over, hope it goes out with a bang.![:raritywink:](https://static.fimfiction.net/images/emoticons/raritywink.png)
This story continues to be brilliant. I am very excited for the upcoming chapters <3
The stuff about Pegasus breeds blew my mind. Brilliant. I love the explanation for Rainbow Dash's mane and tail and her boastfulness. It adds weight to her character because even her breed hovers above her, silently making demands of her to be awesome. Yes, awe-inspiring ancestors and pegasus breeds is awesome. I loved Heart's Warming Eve and its portrayal of the clans. The part about Scootaloo was exceptional. I loved how she was introduced to her first cloud, how Rainbow Dash knew the drill from flight camp and her natural leadership streak just carried her through that menoring. It's a trust building exercise, close your eyes and lean back, I'll catch you. That nails Loyalty as her element and I love that reference.
Then things stayed great as the Scootaloo scene was rounded up neatly without wasting space detailing her journey home. Bringing us right to some incredible Twidash. I loved the dialogue between them. It really did sound like they were making confessions of love. Everything mentioned in the many previous chapters, from hypnosis to Twilight's near-maniacal possessiveness and Rainbow Dash's own problems has all been answered now and Cadence's advice carries Twilight through the love confession.
The replay of Rainbow Dash's own inner dialogue now playing out between her and Scootaloo, exactly line for line, is scary and awesome all at once. It's an amazing, subtle hint to concepts like destiny and dream visions. A self-fulfilled prophecy.
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Basically sum up my thoughts on this chapter and the way it built from previous chapters. I'm extremely happy to see we are getting more chapters and I am looking forward to it. Also, the joke at the end of the chapter was perfect!
All my 'staches, Spike. You win one internet.
Great chapter, I love the pony breed idea, I'm surprised I haven't ran across it before now.
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Thank you very much for saying that. I was worried it was getting slightly too sappy in places, but the next three chapters will be more comedic, and (minor spoiler) introduce both our characters to some new concepts.
And if you liked that little joke at the end, you're gonna love what next chapter ends on. I'm a little anxious about spoiling it, but it may very well be a FimFiction first. Stay tuned for next week![:twilightsmile:](https://static.fimfiction.net/images/emoticons/twilightsmile.png)
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The bang is coming (and how), but after that I've got at least three more chapters to wrap everything up and put it to a (hopefully) satisfying ending.
I just hope I'm not over-hyping it now. Hope you like fetish-based humour, at least
.
Latex Catsuits, liquid latex, or the third?
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A little bit of a, a little bit of b, and a little bit of something everyone seems to have forgotten can be a thing.
Also changelings. Kinda.
I thought the pony breed thing was kind of ingenious. Nice work.
Damn it, I want more!
So.... I guess Foxfire really managed to break Daring Do? Good job on that^^
I'm re-reading this (again) and I can't get past this chapter without offering some kind of salute to Spike for that last paragraph.
Here's to you Spike, and the author that makes you as awesome as you ought to be in the show.
The dialogue in this just blows me away, and yes, I still can't wrap my head around how awesome pegasus breeds are in your story.
Is Rainbow Dash secretly taking speech-making lessons from Kamina?
I'm not going to rant about Scootacanon. I am, however, gonna say this...
I'll be happy with how you portray Scootaloo, so long as it's written well and consistent with both itself and the universe you portray.
Who knew that someone else shared my love of classifying different pony types. But I call them models like zoan devil fruit
Actually, no. You could be straight but still be attracted to someone of the same gender if they fit certain "requirements" that you have.
I know that feeling.![:twilightangry2:](https://static.fimfiction.net/images/emoticons/twilightangry2.png)
Why didn't you think of Bolt Biceps, Dashie? You were WITH HIM in the Wonderbolt Academy episode and hot wings smaller than even Scootaloo!![:facehoof:](https://static.fimfiction.net/images/emoticons/facehoof.png)
But in all honesty, good thought about the whole "Different pony breeds(/sub-tribes)" thing.
"Do not even mention canon.".....honestly, i think even canon doesn't care about canon. (i mean, Celestia used to have pink hair before it was retconned! as was Luna's old hair being just blue and not wavy before her redesign!)
I'm mildly surprised that Dash doesn't mention Fluttershy (poor flyer at Scoot's age)
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She did think of him. Snowflake is his canon name.