bad dragon is a very nice website to visit, if you're looking for interesting toy's to play with in privacy, Watersports is very brain bleach approved subject matter unless you're used to scat as well... Also I agree with how Celestia controlled the situation rather than trying to condemn, and inversely make it blow out of proportion. I also agree with Luna's worries on the subject. I cant wait till Celestia gets the report on the con and finds a Twilight impersonator.
The white alicorn shrugged dismissively. “Oh, I’m sure Twilight will find a nice, handsome, loyal stallion who’ll gently ease her into the physical aspects of love. I’d be surprised if she even found out this exists.”
“Except she will when one of her friends is asked about it.”
Celestia frowned and backed away. “I beg your pardon?”
Luna closed her eyes and recited the rule matter-of-factly. “Is it not, at this very moment, customary for any public servant above a certain rank to be asked? And, should they accept, to be added to the line according to their breed?”
“Yes, but none of Twilight’s friends are… oh.”
Luna opened her eyes and grinned. “Forgot about that one, didn’t you, sister?”
Celestia gulped. “Well, I suppose that’ll turn out as well as it did last time.”
“What last time?”
“Let’s just say that when Shining Armour signed up to help pay for his sister’s insurance fees, there was at least one instance of a group discount.”
Maybe I'm thick, but... I have no idea what they are talking about here.
“Is it not, at this very moment, customary for any public servant above a certain rank to be asked?
Asked what?
And, should they accept, to be added to the line according to their breed?”
What line? the blood line? Like, are they talking about marriage?
“Yes, but none of Twilight’s friends are… oh.” “Let’s just say that when Shining Armour signed up to help pay for his sister’s insurance fees, there was at least one instance of a group discount.”
Is this some kind of seed for a Mane Six harem? I seriously hope not...
I'm not really sure of many specific comments, (though that might be because I'm like half sleep right now) but this was a pretty funny chapter. I can tell you put a lot of effort into your world building.
As for specifics... All I can think of right now is that watersports section. I feel so bad for them after that. I can't believe Twilight overlooked it in her research. Still, it made for some funny dialog.
Also, I'm not entirely sure what you were getting at with the last bit of dialog between Luna and Celestia. Whoever Celestia forgot about, I appear to have forgotten as well. Also, I'm not sure I get the group discount line.
3859040 They'd be added to the product line. And if you really cannot tell what they're talking about, don't worry. I'll address it in detail in a later chapter. Just ask yourself this: public servants above a certain rank are asked if they want to model. Who, in this story, is a public servant who may be going up in rank? Do we know any aspiring Royal Guards so far? What about other heroes in the pseudo-military? Keep thinking along those lines and you'll get the picture.
They're added according to breed, so ponies are exposed to diversity in *ahem* shapes and sizes based on breed. That's why the vendor asks if Twilight knows which breed she wants: some ponies might have a preference for one or the other. Suppose there's a mare with a thing for pegasus dodos, she'd want her model to fit the bill, no?
(Unrelated: I totally wasn't implying that both Cadence and her bridesmaids had purchased a 'Grand Commander' model long before Cadence got married. )
This chapter was hilarious. *Looks at Bad Dragon's "Mary the Anthro Mare"* And now that is a thing. Okay. I will learn to live with this, somehow. Eventually.
I wonder if Big Mac has been preemptively banned from the product line on the grounds that he would create unrealistic expectations...
Aw, I wished RD would have did something so that Twi notices that she wants those "legwarmers". I hope Twi DID noticed and will buy them when RD is on the toilett/excuses herself to go to the toilet and buy them as surprise for her pet. <3
So Twi would have to turn into a full stallion to have a cock? She can't magic the cock part on herself? I thought for sure that in those 1000 years (or even before that) somepony would have gotten the idea that it would be nice to know how a stallion's cock feels in a mare pussy/the other way around.
Daaaamn, Celly is really carefree about the whole sex thing. XDDD I'm on Luna's side here though I find it really unfair how the public servant have to serve as fleshlights and dildos while Celly, luna, Twi and Cadance get away scootfree though they are public servants in a sense too, just in a much higher position.
Thing though Twi is right now disgusied as herself, right? Aomething which is kind of a rule not to do, right? And Celly gets spy talk whenever somepony "disguise" like Cadance or Twi, right? <.< Looks like Twi's secret might be found out sooner than we expected. I can't wait for Luna's "I told you so" laugh and Celly's "I CAN STILL FIX THIS!" freakout. XDDD
“Let’s just say that when Shining Armour signed up to help pay for his sister’s insurance fees, there was at least one instance of a group discount.”
So Shiny entered the guard to pay for Twi's insurance fee? I thought he entered because it was his dream. Or did that mean that they CAN be royal guards without having their cocks and pussies turned into sex toys and that signing to have said cock/pussy become a sex toy mean extra money? Because if it's like that, then it's fair game. You want extra money, your cock/pussy gets measured and becomes a sex toy. You don't want to, you can still be a royal guard/wonderbolt but with the normal payment and ofc without saying anything/much about said business though I guess that is an open secret to everypony.
And Cadance totally brought a High Commander dildo........ and her brides maids too... but if its so popular that might mean... so Twilight's friends (expect RD and Twi given their reactions here) did most likely all brought a dildo which looks like Twi's big brother??????? o.O They DO know after WHO that cock is made, right? Wow..... that's kind of creepy... but then again they probably brought it before knowing Twi/knowing that their lovely dildo is actually made after their best friend' big brother. XD
3859652 They're asked about it before anything is made, every Royal Guard has the right to refuse. And Shining signed up for the modeling to pay the insurance, he did sign up for the Guard because it was his dream.
But accepting it means you get bragging rights (if appropriate), as well as additional money on top of what the job gets you, which some ponies with destructive family members might need to take into account when answering yes or no. It's only higher ranked Royal Guards who are asked, and anyone who's asked... well, is just asked. There's no peer pressure.
Also, the spy thing was added at the last minute, but keep in mind Twilight doesn't look like Twilight. She looks a purple rubber alicorn with Twilight Sparkle's colours. The Celestias and Nightmare Moons look like the actual Celestia and Nightmare Moon, just made of rubber. These wouldn't have their tails and manes wrapped up and have special lenses for the eyes that show iris and pupil, whereas the standard costumes (like Twi's) do not.
Twilight's friends, meaning the Mane Six, aren't at this con, and as far as we know (so far, wait for part 3) they know nothing of the fetish community, let alone the market for sex toys. When ponies talk about the bridesmaids at the wedding, they're referring to the girls who were supposed to be the bridesmaids: Twinkleshine, Minuette (Colgate), and... Lyra. Those girls were slated as bridesmaids weeks, possibly months in advance, the Mane Six only ended up replacing them at the last second.
Awesome chapter. I love how Celestia is so certain that Twilight won't ever find herself at that sex con thing, and even if she did, she wouldn't run into any models she'd recognize. *Cough*Shining*Cough*
Another awesome chapter and I echo one other poster's sentiment: I really hope Dash gets those leg warmers. Somehow Rainbow Dash is just unbearably adorable whenever she's thinking about her hooves.
I know who you meant with the bridesmares. I forgot to add "also" to the Twi's friends have a Shiny dildo hidden somewhere in their houses.^^ At least Rarity should have a royality fetish which she sorta lives out thanks to "prince Charming". xDDD
I feel your pain Twilight. When I first saw the tag I assumed it was Poolside Kinkiness, Now I can never look at a pool noodle the same way ever again.
3862919 You have no idea how much I laughed at that last statement. Quite the interesting thought to say the least.
I wonder how much Rainbow's gonna end up enjoying this stuff, so far it doesn't look like she's enjoying it very much. Also, I can feel for Twilight here, I actually found out about watersports in the same matter. Well, through the internet, I've never been to a convention at all, much less one like that.
Okay, I'm a little concerned that Twilight now owns two replicas of her brothers cock, that's a biiiit creepy. However I'm more worried that Twilight is going to be arrested for impersonating herself, dragged before Celestia herself and unmasked. Poor Twily that would be so embarrassing.
“Double strapon, Ma’am?” the vendor alicorn asked.
I believe you’re referring to a ‘frosty’ breed.
Ah, yes, the various pony phenotypes. One of my favorite parts of your Equestria. I hope you go into greater detail about them at some point, possibly in a blog post. I'm a sucker for this kind of world-building.
“It used to be called ‘Grand Commander’, but then Shining Armour married into royalty.”
"I'm Commander Armor, and this is my favorite booth in the convention."
Earth ponies just like to show off when they have a new contraption, especially if it makes them look like a princess. Happens all the time.
One of my favorite headcanons: earth ponies being the best, most enthusiastic engineers among the ponies.
S-so… there’s a royalty fetish? An alicorn fetish? And I’m… and my brother is…
Well, at least she doesn't know about us.
We make imprints and copies, Luna, we do not transform ponies into inanimate objects or reduce them to anything.
"That's an entirely different fetish." Also, balancing the budget through state-sponsored marital aids? That's the most twistedly ingenious thing I've ever heard! Headcanon accepted, though I doubt I'll ever bring it up in my stories. (reads rest of paragraph) Ah. That's what I get for interrupting myself midway through.
Well, three by our standards, obviously.
But wasn't Luna just established as comparatively prudish? Or does everything have to be of an epic scale to even register on alicorn standards?
In any case, great chapter. Especially Celestia engineering a healthy attitude about sexuality in her little ponies. Eagerly looking forward to more. Especially when the Bearers of Harmony are approached about certain... sponsorships.
for a moment I really thought Celestia was really at that convention^^ But Lyra and bonbon.... that just made my day!^^ just kinda suprised that Bonbon is the dominant of the two^^
Woow. I can't believe you put that in there! I am so glad I already knew what that was or else I would have looked it up and been freaked out at least at first and it would be ALL. YOUR. FAULT!
5833237 what's funny is I did look it up. I was in the same boat as Twilight and Rainbow. Kinda, mighta, sorta threw my phone at the wall when I got the results.
others say "sorta, mighta, kinda." I said it backwards on accident. I think I need to go get my brain fixed or something...
Rainbow Dash looked around. Let’s see here. I’ve already got a real uniform and a Shadowbolt uniform, I don’t really want to know what my hero’s marehood feels like against mine, and I don’t need any goggle-shaped blindfolds. Nah, I’m good. She shook her head.
How does RD have a Shadowbolt uniform? Like, "Shadowbolt" as in those ILLUSIONS from S1, EP. 1? Or "Shadowbolt"as in "EqG: Friendship Games"? Either way, it's unexplainable.
bad dragon is a very nice website to visit, if you're looking for interesting toy's to play with in privacy, Watersports is very brain bleach approved subject matter unless you're used to scat as well... Also I agree with how Celestia controlled the situation rather than trying to condemn, and inversely make it blow out of proportion. I also agree with Luna's worries on the subject. I cant wait till Celestia gets the report on the con and finds a Twilight impersonator.
Maybe I'm thick, but... I have no idea what they are talking about here.
Asked what?
What line? the blood line? Like, are they talking about marriage?
Is this some kind of seed for a Mane Six harem? I seriously hope not...
This chapter...
I'm not really sure of many specific comments, (though that might be because I'm like half sleep right now) but this was a pretty funny chapter. I can tell you put a lot of effort into your world building.
As for specifics... All I can think of right now is that watersports section. I feel so bad for them after that. I can't believe Twilight overlooked it in her research. Still, it made for some funny dialog.
Also, I'm not entirely sure what you were getting at with the last bit of dialog between Luna and Celestia. Whoever Celestia forgot about, I appear to have forgotten as well. Also, I'm not sure I get the group discount line.
Oh well. Anyways, I can't wait for more!
3859040
They'd be added to the product line. And if you really cannot tell what they're talking about, don't worry. I'll address it in detail in a later chapter. Just ask yourself this: public servants above a certain rank are asked if they want to model. Who, in this story, is a public servant who may be going up in rank? Do we know any aspiring Royal Guards so far? What about other heroes in the pseudo-military? Keep thinking along those lines and you'll get the picture.
They're added according to breed, so ponies are exposed to diversity in *ahem* shapes and sizes based on breed. That's why the vendor asks if Twilight knows which breed she wants: some ponies might have a preference for one or the other. Suppose there's a mare with a thing for pegasus dodos, she'd want her model to fit the bill, no?
(Unrelated: I totally wasn't implying that both Cadence and her bridesmaids had purchased a 'Grand Commander' model long before Cadence got married. )
This chapter was hilarious. *Looks at Bad Dragon's "Mary the Anthro Mare"* And now that is a thing. Okay. I will learn to live with this, somehow. Eventually.
I wonder if Big Mac has been preemptively banned from the product line on the grounds that he would create unrealistic expectations...
3859040
Asked for their privates to be cast into rubber.
I don't really get the rest either.
3859118
AH-ha! Gotcha. Tracking like a TOW.
Sorry, that happens when you don;t read a story as a whole unit; you tend to forget certain things.
The instant I saw the word "watersports" I was cringing. Don't worry Twilight, I ran into the same trap.
i love this..but sex?
Aw, I wished RD would have did something so that Twi notices that she wants those "legwarmers". I hope Twi DID noticed and will buy them when RD is on the toilett/excuses herself to go to the toilet and buy them as surprise for her pet. <3
So Twi would have to turn into a full stallion to have a cock? She can't magic the cock part on herself? I thought for sure that in those 1000 years (or even before that) somepony would have gotten the idea that it would be nice to know how a stallion's cock feels in a mare pussy/the other way around.
Daaaamn, Celly is really carefree about the whole sex thing. XDDD
I'm on Luna's side here though I find it really unfair how the public servant have to serve as fleshlights and dildos while Celly, luna, Twi and Cadance get away scootfree though they are public servants in a sense too, just in a much higher position.
Thing though Twi is right now disgusied as herself, right? Aomething which is kind of a rule not to do, right? And Celly gets spy talk whenever somepony "disguise" like Cadance or Twi, right? <.<
Looks like Twi's secret might be found out sooner than we expected. I can't wait for Luna's "I told you so" laugh and Celly's "I CAN STILL FIX THIS!" freakout. XDDD
So Shiny entered the guard to pay for Twi's insurance fee? I thought he entered because it was his dream. Or did that mean that they CAN be royal guards without having their cocks and pussies turned into sex toys and that signing to have said cock/pussy become a sex toy mean extra money? Because if it's like that, then it's fair game. You want extra money, your cock/pussy gets measured and becomes a sex toy. You don't want to, you can still be a royal guard/wonderbolt but with the normal payment and ofc without saying anything/much about said business though I guess that is an open secret to everypony.
And Cadance totally brought a High Commander dildo........ and her brides maids too... but if its so popular that might mean... so Twilight's friends (expect RD and Twi given their reactions here) did most likely all brought a dildo which looks like Twi's big brother??????? o.O
They DO know after WHO that cock is made, right? Wow..... that's kind of creepy... but then again they probably brought it before knowing Twi/knowing that their lovely dildo is actually made after their best friend' big brother. XD
3859652
They're asked about it before anything is made, every Royal Guard has the right to refuse. And Shining signed up for the modeling to pay the insurance, he did sign up for the Guard because it was his dream.
But accepting it means you get bragging rights (if appropriate), as well as additional money on top of what the job gets you, which some ponies with destructive family members might need to take into account when answering yes or no. It's only higher ranked Royal Guards who are asked, and anyone who's asked... well, is just asked. There's no peer pressure.
Also, the spy thing was added at the last minute, but keep in mind Twilight doesn't look like Twilight. She looks a purple rubber alicorn with Twilight Sparkle's colours. The Celestias and Nightmare Moons look like the actual Celestia and Nightmare Moon, just made of rubber. These wouldn't have their tails and manes wrapped up and have special lenses for the eyes that show iris and pupil, whereas the standard costumes (like Twi's) do not.
Twilight's friends, meaning the Mane Six, aren't at this con, and as far as we know (so far, wait for part 3) they know nothing of the fetish community, let alone the market for sex toys. When ponies talk about the bridesmaids at the wedding, they're referring to the girls who were supposed to be the bridesmaids: Twinkleshine, Minuette (Colgate), and... Lyra. Those girls were slated as bridesmaids weeks, possibly months in advance, the Mane Six only ended up replacing them at the last second.
I didn't get a hing about this chapter.
I didn't understanded ANYTHING!!!
3860147
Guess it's a dud, then. Oh well
Awesome chapter. I love how Celestia is so certain that Twilight won't ever find herself at that sex con thing, and even if she did, she wouldn't run into any models she'd recognize. *Cough*Shining*Cough*
Another awesome chapter and I echo one other poster's sentiment: I really hope Dash gets those leg warmers. Somehow Rainbow Dash is just unbearably adorable whenever she's thinking about her hooves.
I hope Dash gets her hooves on those legwarmers before the end of the con.
I also hope Celestia gets worrying reports of a 'Princess Twilight' cosplayer at the con. The possibilities for funny are just too much!
3859736
I know who you meant with the bridesmares. I forgot to add "also" to the Twi's friends have a Shiny dildo hidden somewhere in their houses.^^
At least Rarity should have a royality fetish which she sorta lives out thanks to "prince Charming". xDDD
I feel your pain Twilight. When I first saw the tag I assumed it was Poolside Kinkiness, Now I can never look at a pool noodle the same way ever again.
Of course Celestia runs the porn industry.
Now you have to eventually show that Luna is just as dirty in old-timey ways. I bet 1000 years ago tentacles were the in thing.
3862919
You have no idea how much I laughed at that last statement. Quite the interesting thought to say the least.
I wonder how much Rainbow's gonna end up enjoying this stuff, so far it doesn't look like she's enjoying it very much. Also, I can feel for Twilight here, I actually found out about watersports in the same matter. Well, through the internet, I've never been to a convention at all, much less one like that.
Okay, I'm a little concerned that Twilight now owns two replicas of her brothers cock, that's a biiiit creepy. However I'm more worried that Twilight is going to be arrested for impersonating herself, dragged before Celestia herself and unmasked. Poor Twily that would be so embarrassing.
Incoming stream-of-consciousness review. There's just so much to enjoy here, I didn't want to forget anything. Now:
Ah, irony.
This continues to be hilarious. So many black and red alicorn OC's...
As was foretold.
Ah, yes, the various pony phenotypes. One of my favorite parts of your Equestria. I hope you go into greater detail about them at some point, possibly in a blog post. I'm a sucker for this kind of world-building.
"I'm Commander Armor, and this is my favorite booth in the convention."
One of my favorite headcanons: earth ponies being the best, most enthusiastic engineers among the ponies.
Well, at least she doesn't know about us.
"That's an entirely different fetish."
Also, balancing the budget through state-sponsored marital aids? That's the most twistedly ingenious thing I've ever heard! Headcanon accepted, though I doubt I'll ever bring it up in my stories.
(reads rest of paragraph)
Ah. That's what I get for interrupting myself midway through.
But wasn't Luna just established as comparatively prudish? Or does everything have to be of an epic scale to even register on alicorn standards?
In any case, great chapter. Especially Celestia engineering a healthy attitude about sexuality in her little ponies. Eagerly looking forward to more. Especially when the Bearers of Harmony are approached about certain... sponsorships.
3863051
FTFY
Cool, hay just found a misstep here.
other then that not bad this is really interesting.
3859736 k , sooo i don't get it , who's twi's friend that's a royal guard then since we're obviously not talking about shining armor here?.....
for a moment I really thought Celestia was really at that convention^^ But Lyra and bonbon.... that just made my day!^^ just kinda suprised that Bonbon is the dominant of the two^^
Woow. I can't believe you put that in there! I am so glad I already knew what that was or else I would have looked it up and been freaked out at least at first and it would be ALL. YOUR. FAULT!
I think I perfectly replicated Rainbow's laugh when I read this.
5833237 what's funny is I did look it up. I was in the same boat as Twilight and Rainbow. Kinda, mighta, sorta threw my phone at the wall when I got the results.
others say "sorta, mighta, kinda." I said it backwards on accident. I think I need to go get my brain fixed or something...
How does RD have a Shadowbolt uniform? Like, "Shadowbolt" as in those ILLUSIONS from S1, EP. 1? Or "Shadowbolt"as in "EqG: Friendship Games"? Either way, it's unexplainable.
8629702
Your guess is as good as mine. Personally, I think Rainbow Dash is mocking us.
vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/mlp/images/3/3d/Rainbow_Dash_rolling_on_the_cloud_laughing_S2E04.png/revision/latest?cb=20121107162013
It's referring to her Nightmare Night costume from Season 2, incidentally In case you wanted it specified.