• Member Since 23rd Mar, 2012
  • offline last seen Nov 5th, 2018

rainbowloyalty


May
17th
2012

Gratitude · 2:44am May 17th, 2012

I've been wondering about how many lives this show must have saved. I can just imagine how this show could be a window of happiness into the dark hearts of so many. If someone is thinking about doing it, MLPFIM just might be the one thing that gives them hope in the world, a light to remind them that this world is not all cruelty and misery. I will not go as far as to say this is true for me, but this show gave me new perspective of the world. It taught me that there are things in the world to

Read More

Report rainbowloyalty · 348 views ·

Latest Stories
2

Comments ( 15 )
  • Viewing 11 - 15 of 15

1161023
So, unlike probably a majority of your readers, I read the entire story for the first time today. It had been on my "Read Later" list for a long time, but I just never got around to reading it. By chance, I just happened to notice that it was complete, so I decided to read it.

In general, I liked the ending. It did seem abrupt, but I wouldn't consider it rushed. All stories need to end eventually, and I think it was a good decision to end the story with a bit of irony than to drag it on for a couple more chapters. We all know what happens next, so there's no point in writing it out. All you need in an ending is closure, and you found it. RD and AJ's conflict is resolved. The rest is rather irrelevant.

What issues I found in the ending were present throughout the story. One jarring issue I found was that the characters were overly apologetic. The story arc followed a predictable pattern of conflict, emotion, and apology. Perhaps it is part of Twilight's nervous character to be Canadian, but I don't think it fits Applejack's character to apologize so profusely for small incidents. I think half of this is also over-escalation of incidents, such as the conflict between Big Mac and AJ. Then, this is followed by "sorry" 4 times. Even if characters feel guilty about something, they don't necessarily have to say "sorry" or "I apologize" express this. This is small-talk, and shouldn't play such a huge role in the story. With regards to the ending, in my opinion Applejack doesn't have anything to apologize for. Sure, she made a few bad decisions, but this is greatly outweighed by Rainbow Dash's faults. Just by being there, and caring, and then reading for her says so much more than "sorry" ever could.

Rainbow Dash getting hurt is way overused of course, but you pulled it off acceptably well, and without many of the other clich├ęs that come with it.

What did you think of the end of twilight hours? Its been lukewarm and I need a trusted opinion.

I'm glad you enjoyed my little foray into the little world of Spike and Dash. I'm glad that you Faved Every Little Bit, and liked how they contemplated how their lives are similar... and, you know, their kiss!:moustache::rainbowkiss:

Thanks for the fav

105914 Thanks. Now I have more awesome tunes to reference in my stories, with proper siting of course. :raritywink: And yeah, it'll be done in about 1-2 weeks or so. It could probably be done quicker, but I'm stretched out with working a job, going to school, and writing four stories at once. Not to mention drawing. :twilightoops:

  • Viewing 11 - 15 of 15
Login or register to comment
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!