3750132 Wait 'till after the three-parter. That's when the hard stuff comes in. The three-parter itself was some of the most fun I've had in ages, so watch out for that. But yeah, gonna try and keep up the chapter per week writing, and I've still got four chapters in reserve in case I miss a week. Doing outlines on the next chapter now, hopefully that'll help.
Well, for what it's worth, you're doing a damn good job so far of keeping this in the realm of possibility. The inner-monologue for both of them felt very in tune with them, and laid the foundation for some healthy, consentual, hot and heavy slave-master play. For real, as of now, I would be fully in support of Twi making Dashie lick her hooves clean and act as her foot stool. The way you've written them, it makes full sense.
3750194 The rubber will come first. The hoof-licking... not a bad idea, actually. It's crossed my mind once or twice, but I never really considered going in-depth with it. Ill just do some random, automatic writing, see what pops up (figuratively speaking, of course ).
But the rubber bit is written out, it will start in two weeks. And it will be glorious. Possibly a bit too telly, but I can edit that.
Gosh, this story really gets the comments going. Nearly past the five hundred upvotes, too. I'm gonna have to blog about this sometime, maybe.
I love how you decided to go after the whole identity aspect of a character and how they would deal with a problem involving a big issue like what Twilight did. Not many writers do that and for that I commend you. For whatever you do in the next chapter or the ending for that matter, I'll be here reading and applauding.
Dang, Cadance sure isn't tagged as the Princess of Love/Romance for nothing. That is very, very accurate, and very impressive, deductive reasoning on her part.
Great chapter, and while there isn't much clop, the story is still thick with sexual tension and sometimes those inner monologues can be just as enjoyable to read as the climactic scenes. Alot of ground was covered in this one, from Rainbow Dash to Twilight. Cadence was actually really likable. I normally can't stand her, but you wrote her well. Everyone has this tendency to go overboard with her love powers. In this story she's mostly just reading Twilight's face like a pro.
Overall the level of psychology in this fic seems impressive, like the author did his homework. I can't wait for more of this.
No clop, but I don't care because it was a really good chapter! I was hoping Twilight would accidentally let a "she/her" slip when talking about her significant other to Cadance, but I don't mind that we don't get to see Cadance's reaction to that little twist just yet.
As always, November eagerly awaits the next chapter!
3753604 Did my homework? Well, kinda. It's more along the lines that I'm using stuff I learned in a past life (figuratively speaking).
In terms of psychology, I mostly got my stuff from Using Beauty and her Beast to Introduce the Human Shadow, which is big on Jungian concepts. The author's blog is here. In terms of hypnosis, I've read Look into My Eyes by Peter Masters, which is an R-rated book and goes into somewhat silly territory past halfway point but gets the message across otherwise. I've also come across one or two articles on official, clinical hypnosis and its uses, as well as some works in between New Age and clinical practices, which I shan't cite here because it's kinda iffy. That control centre imagery is an actual standard practice in hypnotherapy, just so you know. I've also got 'Hypnotherapy for Dummies', but that didn't turn out to be very useful.
On top of that, I've read Liber Null and Psychonaut repeatedly, as well as Oven-Ready Chaos and Pop Magic. All those things are about chaotism, which doesn't have any set rules but encourages letting go of the learned self and seeking out and investigating things that you're normally aversive to. Needless to say, the whole 'accepting your ugly side' is a recurring thing in my writing, but it's one of the few messages I don't get tired of sharing or hearing, because it can make for such interesting situations. It's also the main reason I like MLP: I see the same message in that.
Anywho, tl; dr: I do know a thing or two about actual hypnosis, but I'm not trying to be accurate. I'm trying to be accurate enough for it to feel 'real'. While I'm not that good with lesbianism or even D/s in general, most of this is familiar ground to some degree, so a lot of obvious mistakes are avoided (it's the less obvious ones that worry me ). And I'm really glad people like Cadence in this, I was worried about that.
Kinda surprised no one's pointed out the broom incident, though. I'd think with the music in Season 2, that's the first thing people notice.
3754504 Listen carefully to the music the first few minutes of 'Secret of My Excess', then check out 'Sorcerer's Apprentice' on Youtube and see if that clears anything up .
I don't think there needs to be some kind of sex scene quota. This is a very good story. You don't need to crowbar in more squishy bits just to meet some self-mandated minimum. Just let the story flow and include the scenes that arise naturally.
In any case, eagerly looking forward to more. Oh, and one more thing:
Just because Twilight and you did it doesn’t mean every pair of mares in Ponyville is a pair of lesbian fetish nuts.
3757689 Point taken. I've outlined the next two chapters after the three-parter, so that little concern is addressed. There is more clop planned now, but it's still functional.
Also: that may have been one of those foreshadowing lines, sir. May have been .
know what I love about this fic? It actually has a rater serious plot while most other hypnosis/mind control fics just do it, well, for the sake of thehypnosis and mind control. If that were the case here, Dash would be a happy little slave right now, like Octavia in another story i have read. I am actually very interested in seeing how this relationship between Dash and Twilight plays out in the future. I know it doesnt matter much, seeing how this story is already completed, but keep up the good work^^
Cadence winced in sympathy. “Knowing you, I can imagine it's a little embarrassing. But it can’t be worse than the broom incident, at least.”
Twilight blushed furiously. “Nothing could be worse than the broom incident, no, so that’s something. Speaking of embarrassing incidents, how’s my big brother doing, training the Crystal Empire athletes?”
It may be getting harder to write, but it is certainly a good read
I like how in denial Twilight is of her sexuality xD
3750132
Wait 'till after the three-parter. That's when the hard stuff comes in. The three-parter itself was some of the most fun I've had in ages, so watch out for that. But yeah, gonna try and keep up the chapter per week writing, and I've still got four chapters in reserve in case I miss a week. Doing outlines on the next chapter now, hopefully that'll help.
Thanks for the feedback, at any rate.
I like how in denial Twilight is of her sexuality xD
I like how in denial Twilight is of her sexuality xD
Well, for what it's worth, you're doing a damn good job so far of keeping this in the realm of possibility. The inner-monologue for both of them felt very in tune with them, and laid the foundation for some healthy, consentual, hot and heavy slave-master play. For real, as of now, I would be fully in support of Twi making Dashie lick her hooves clean and act as her foot stool. The way you've written them, it makes full sense.
Can't wait for more.
Damn, Twilight, that last line is just ASKING for it.
That being said, this has been a consistently enjoyable story. Keep up the good work!
3750194
The rubber will come first. The hoof-licking... not a bad idea, actually. It's crossed my mind once or twice, but I never really considered going in-depth with it. Ill just do some random, automatic writing, see what pops up (figuratively speaking, of course ).
But the rubber bit is written out, it will start in two weeks. And it will be glorious. Possibly a bit too telly, but I can edit that.
Gosh, this story really gets the comments going. Nearly past the five hundred upvotes, too. I'm gonna have to blog about this sometime, maybe.
"Bow Chicka Bow-Wow"
Dang It TUCKER!
is it just me or is cadance totally shipping twi and flash sentry?
3750257
I think she is trying, cant wait to see her face when she realizes how wrong she was.
I love how you decided to go after the whole identity aspect of a character and how they would deal with a problem involving a big issue like what Twilight did. Not many writers do that and for that I commend you. For whatever you do in the next chapter or the ending for that matter, I'll be here reading and applauding.
3750257
Mi Amore Cadenza, Princess of
ShippingLove!3751164
Probably not that much of a face. Cadance didn't appear to be very flappable.
The title of this chapter got me really excited. Hopefully something is done with that at some point in this story~
3750232
Yay rubber <3 rubber is my favorite <3<3<3
Dang, Cadance sure isn't tagged as the Princess of Love/Romance for nothing. That is very, very accurate, and very impressive, deductive reasoning on her part.
Great chapter, and while there isn't much clop, the story is still thick with sexual tension and sometimes those inner monologues can be just as enjoyable to read as the climactic scenes. Alot of ground was covered in this one, from Rainbow Dash to Twilight. Cadence was actually really likable. I normally can't stand her, but you wrote her well. Everyone has this tendency to go overboard with her love powers. In this story she's mostly just reading Twilight's face like a pro.
Overall the level of psychology in this fic seems impressive, like the author did his homework. I can't wait for more of this.
No clop, but I don't care because it was a really good chapter!
I was hoping Twilight would accidentally let a "she/her" slip when talking about her significant other to Cadance, but I don't mind that we don't get to see Cadance's reaction to that little twist just yet.
As always, November eagerly awaits the next chapter!
3753604
Did my homework? Well, kinda. It's more along the lines that I'm using stuff I learned in a past life (figuratively speaking).
In terms of psychology, I mostly got my stuff from Using Beauty and her Beast to Introduce the Human Shadow, which is big on Jungian concepts. The author's blog is here. In terms of hypnosis, I've read Look into My Eyes by Peter Masters, which is an R-rated book and goes into somewhat silly territory past halfway point but gets the message across otherwise. I've also come across one or two articles on official, clinical hypnosis and its uses, as well as some works in between New Age and clinical practices, which I shan't cite here because it's kinda iffy. That control centre imagery is an actual standard practice in hypnotherapy, just so you know. I've also got 'Hypnotherapy for Dummies', but that didn't turn out to be very useful.
On top of that, I've read Liber Null and Psychonaut repeatedly, as well as Oven-Ready Chaos and Pop Magic. All those things are about chaotism, which doesn't have any set rules but encourages letting go of the learned self and seeking out and investigating things that you're normally aversive to. Needless to say, the whole 'accepting your ugly side' is a recurring thing in my writing, but it's one of the few messages I don't get tired of sharing or hearing, because it can make for such interesting situations. It's also the main reason I like MLP: I see the same message in that.
Anywho, tl; dr: I do know a thing or two about actual hypnosis, but I'm not trying to be accurate. I'm trying to be accurate enough for it to feel 'real'. While I'm not that good with lesbianism or even D/s in general, most of this is familiar ground to some degree, so a lot of obvious mistakes are avoided (it's the less obvious ones that worry me ). And I'm really glad people like Cadence in this, I was worried about that.
Kinda surprised no one's pointed out the broom incident, though. I'd think with the music in Season 2, that's the first thing people notice.
silly rainbow everyyones gay for twilight
3754225 What is this "Broom Incident", and what does it have to do with the music of season two?
3754504
Listen carefully to the music the first few minutes of 'Secret of My Excess', then check out 'Sorcerer's Apprentice' on Youtube and see if that clears anything up .
I don't think there needs to be some kind of sex scene quota. This is a very good story. You don't need to crowbar in more squishy bits just to meet some self-mandated minimum. Just let the story flow and include the scenes that arise naturally.
In any case, eagerly looking forward to more. Oh, and one more thing:
Good luck convincing bronies of that.
3757689
Point taken. I've outlined the next two chapters after the three-parter, so that little concern is addressed. There is more clop planned now, but it's still functional.
Also: that may have been one of those foreshadowing lines, sir. May have been .
i hope you use this set up to make cadance think twi's crush is on her brother lol.....
Aww man, now I want to hear about shiny and his recruits...
Not sure what the broom incident is, but I am guessing it had something to do with flooding and a magical hat.
3765980
Yes! I knew someone would catch that
3765988
At least it's not a noodle incident.
know what I love about this fic? It actually has a rater serious plot while most other hypnosis/mind control fics just do it, well, for the sake of thehypnosis and mind control. If that were the case here, Dash would be a happy little slave right now, like Octavia in another story i have read. I am actually very interested in seeing how this relationship between Dash and Twilight plays out in the future.
I know it doesnt matter much, seeing how this story is already completed, but keep up the good work^^
What is this "Broom Incedent" you speak of?
6219150
Oddly enough I'm seeing a 'Magician's Apprentice' scene between Twilight and Celestia.
All the foreshadowing!
“Just because Twilight and you did it doesn’t mean every pair of mares in Ponyville is a pair of lesbian fetish nuts.”
No, it’s everything else that means that.