• Member Since 25th Dec, 2012
  • offline last seen March 21st

peter



T
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A young human girl runs away from home with her best friend, and finds herself much further from home than she ever expected. Her arrival in Equestria will cause ripples that affect ponies from the lowest to the highest.


Meanwhile, a young Nocturne mare begins an epic quest to earn the right to clean Princess Luna's porcelain throne.
Be sure to check out the Continuation. "How to Train Your Batpony" Not a Clopfic!



Let me extend thanks to Georg for letting me play with some of his characters and situations, and for proof reading and contributing some really good lines here and there.


Secondly, I would recomend reading some of his stories to better understand the jokes and situations that pop up in my story. Most especially I would advise you read A War of Words - The Opening of the Guard and possibly Genealogy (or the mating habits of Nocturnes Pegasi) (which is very long)

Chapters (24)
Comments ( 356 )

As some of you may have noticed the posting date for this story is from way back in January. I didn't want to post anything till I had enough material to make a good read. Twelve chapters are finished and will be posted regularly. Hopefully I will get feedback and get the kick in the can I need to dash off a few more chapters.

A brief word about this story. Way back when I first started checking out MLP fanfiction I was surprised that with all the human in Equestria stories no one seems to have done a story featuring a character that would fit in the intended demographic, as opposed to the accidental one. :twilightsmile::twilightsmile:

I could not find a single story featuring a young girl coming to Equestria, right away I started to think about that and tried to come up with both a hook to get her there, and a reason why she would have no inclination to go home.

Had no interest in pulling an OZ and having her go on a quest to find the way back. She's going to like this place just fine. Hopefully Equestria, and you, will like her right back.

Peter

This story actually looks pretty well written. I'm going to have to read this I think.

This story seems very good.
The characters are interesting and the story itself (although parts have admittedly been done before) takes on a rather unique spin and is an entertaining read.
I look forward to updates.
Unfortunately when I click to favorite the story there is an error with the number of unread chapters on my favorites page and it shows that there are two updates to this story that I have yet to read.
I imagine you must either have two chapters finished and posted but in some kind of hidden status, or fimfiction has some error that is showing the chapters as unread even though they are checked off. Either way, the star showing two unread chapters that I cannot read annoys me. I have bookmarked the story in my web browser and will check on it when I do my regular stories browsing but I wont be 'favorite'ing the story until that annoying star thing goes away. Just consider a 'ghost' favorite from me for now. ;)
keep up the great work.

http://www.fimfiction.net/user/AutumnT

Thanks for the comment, and the phantom favorite. I don't know how to resolve the issue with the Favorites, might be my fault. I experimented with how to post chapters and added and deleted chapters as I practiced. So it may be my fault and I don't know if it will be resolved when I post new chapters.

Fun story so far. Looking forward to more.

A human in equestria story that is well written and actually managing to avoid all the horrible cliché that so often seem to plague the genre. Loved the interaction with Princess Luna, and its a real shame that this story hasn't got a bit more recognition. The footnotes are also a nice touch and remind me of Terry Pratchett's style at time.

‟Hardly a reliable reference, Spike,” Twilight interrupted, while rolling her eyes. How anyone with Spike’s background in academia could believe in such things as Bighoof, space ponies, and even humans, was beyond Twilight.

So Twilight Sparkle do you like your crow rare, medium, or well done?

And it seems the pair of them might be linked. Wonder how badly Celestia and Luna are gonna be shifting their paradigm without a clutch?

Well, this is going to get confusing, fast.

This is great, please update soon.

wait, wait... Jake is the Alicorn Princess and not Curry.... I love it already!

oh, so many master plans gt flushed down the toilet. That's glorious

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The confusion and Topsy turvy plots are just getting started. I have high hopes on generating a lot of "Now that I didn't see coming" remarks

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Terry Pratchett in a huge influence on my work. Some of him leaked through in this chapter in the dialogue between various characters as I channeled his Night Guard series.
Thanks all for the comments. Hope you'll stick around as I fumble through this story.

Aww, poor Goose. :fluttercry::pinkiesad2: You've made a fine woobie here, peter.

I am so stealing, "Molestia Among the Flowers." :heart:

you could have introduced all of this during the natural flow of the story, there's no need to put aside an entire chapter for this. It breaks how the story was going. You could have introduced every bit of this chapter in future parts, sneaking them here and there where they don't feel forced and tacked in
you actually make me dislike her character a little now by doing things like this. She looked a little bit interesting the first time, but that was still a chore to read since it was a massive "Tell don't Show" section that was very dry and with little to no life. You make her seem like something that was forced or thought at the last minute and you're running like a headless chicken trying to think how to force her to fit in.
I like the rest of the story pretty well and I recommend it over other threads, but those side things just feel like needless things, and in fact other people have told me they skipped these sections entirely and they don't feel they lost anything. THAT is a huge problem

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Dan-heron. I hear where you're coming from. I had already written this a long time ago, and spent all week trying to think about positioning it differently, or holding off and waiting till next week to post it with the next chapter.
Unfortunately that would have disturbed other parts of the coming story like a row of dominoes
It's one reason why I stuck a warning at the front of the story.

The next chapter where there is more Goose character building will have lots and lots of other material to enjoy. I promise.

The side issues and story lines I'm inserting will hopefully merge into the main story line over time. The Character of Goose was created after I imagined Curry's reaction to her first sight of a Nocturne Pegasus. I could have just used Pumpernickel, but he has his own duties and place in this universe. If I was going to introduce a brand new OC character who could end up being a main character, I felt I should try to slowly develop her and give the readers a chance to get to know her.

I could use some input here. Would chapter five be better if I added another story scene to the content, diluting the all Goose feel to it. One possibility would be a scene featuring Lyra, and her recruitment of the CMC to aid in finding and welcoming Humans to Equestria.

I'm liking this story quite a bit.

As far as the character development goes, I want to see all the characters, really. My favorites are Jake, Curry, and Luna so far. Though I'm really curious as to why Curry is an alicorn in her dream. Shared magic? Crossed dream wires?

Entire chapters devoted to one of two of them seem to be a little bit frustrating in the short term, but if this is going to be an epic length fiction, it would work out well, I think. I really enjoy the way you're portraying.. pretty much everyone, really. It's like I'm watching the show. It's a damn shame this doesn't have more recognition.

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Thanks for the comment. Big help in keeping me motivated. I'm just polishing up chapter 13, so yes, this is going to be a very big story, and I'm getting to the point where I'll have things in place where I can focus on tossing my characters into everyday type adventures. I have high hopes of being able to post a chapter a week all through the summer before catching up to where I'm currently working. Hopefully I'll build a fan base as it goes along and I'll get more constructive comments to help keep me focused and motivated.

Something peculiar going on with this story. Even though I've read all chapters, and all chapters are marked as "read", Fimfiction still insists on saying that this story has updated and that there are two chapters I haven't read yet. Except there aren't, because I've read all five. Yet the site still insists there are two unread chapters. Weird. :rainbowderp:

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I favored it myself and saw the same thing. The only reason I can think this might have happened was that way back in February I played around with the story posting mechanism to get used to it. Loading up a chapter, and then deleting it without submitting it. Maybe the software has those attempts still its memory.I have no idea of how to correct that and dropped a letter to a moderator telling him about the problem.

I can promise that as of right now there are eight more chapters in the queue to be posted once I give them a final edit. I'm looking for a rate of one a week till I catch up. Hopefully enough to last all the way Through the summer vacation as I am still producing new material.

I like the premise in this chapter.

I am really looking forward to them meeting the Princesses eventually. Luna versus a.. 1000(?) pound colt. I can see Lyra trying to adopt Curry, and Curry is still a little mysterious. I like how she's actually acting like a kid, And Pinkie is pretty much the best pony in this chapter.

Besides the 'dawws' there is something amusing about the formerly scared Fluttershy doing a NHL style hipcheck to get Twilight out of the way as she goes to comfort Curry.

I wonder what other changes to her are not immediately obvious. "Your mother's name wouldn't happen to have been Megan, would it?"

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It wasn't just Twilight that got hip checked by Fluttershy. I can't really write all that well unless I let the characters take over to a certain extent. I had no intention at all in having Fluttershy do what she did, until I found myself typing it. It just suddenly happened.-_-;;
The fact that Megan existed in the old series, contributed to the idea that a little girl in Equestria was a no-brainer fan-fiction concept. I was truly surprised when I could not find one a year ago

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Jake weighs in around two thousand pounds. A mature Percheron Stallion runs around 2600 pounds. They are big horses. Jake is somewhere around six foot four at the shoulder, meaning the top of his head has to be around eight feet off the ground. Like I said, big horses.

Curry is a kid, whatever else might be going on, that is going to be a constant. I do have background plans for Lyra and Bon Bon, but those are going to take a while to gel.

As such the only answer Curry owed her as an adult authority figure was Name, address and phone number.

There's a Geneva Convention for students? :yay:

And why do I feel Curry's public 'apology' to Jess was in the line of Captain Sheridan's planned 'apology' to the Centauri? "After all, it is the thought that counts." :trollestia:

Just skimming at the moment and after finishing the first chapter, I’m making a few assumptions.

- Based on things in the show (8 foot tall candy cane) the average male pony is about 4 feet tall, with Celestia at 4 feet 10 inches. Not including the horn

- Curry could probably look most ponies in the eye. That Percheron horse is going to be a freaking monster to them, and that’s before ‘he reaches his full growth.’

Ok just read through this story and I’m hooked, this one has that rare spark that’s so dam hard to find… hope to see more soon.

I’m curious about Curry, humans are mythical there so I wonder if Curry can do anything, (I would laugh if it was Curry who made Jake an alicorn by accident.) Luna did speak to her in the dream scape and she appeared to Luna as an alicorn so that might imply she does have magic or something. Luna finding out Curry is a human will be interesting not to mention her finding out about Jake.

Lyra: "She's a human I tell you. A little human!"

Let's hope none of them get the idea to try and sepreate Curry and Jake. Splitting them up is likely to earn Jake's ire, and having an immortal alicorn's first memory of Equestria being forcibly removed from his first and best friend would only end in disaster.

Ok, that was adorable. I especially liked the little cultural references, like how Spike is treated in the big cities, and attitudes toward Nocturne ponies. It'll be interesting to see the link between Curry and Jake explained later on. It's obviously more than coincidence.

Comment posted by Max Caulfield deleted Jul 6th, 2013

'hey there big mach want to join us...' :rainbowlaugh:

All Day Sucker, which was the name the Princess had selected

Subtle, princess... Real subtle.

Heh. I bet Curry is going to (to Rarity) inexplicably love the tie-dye fabric...

Came here after you linked this at the FFML. I don't care for shipping or certain fanon elements at all, but I really love what I see here. Curry and Jake are adorable, the Mane 6 are fantastically in character, the Princesses are wonderful, and you've got a great concept going which I agree seems unexpectedly rare considering who this show is marketed to.

Great stuff, really looking forward to more :pinkiehappy:

peter, did my pancreas kill your family or something?

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Yes!!! Those Shares I bought in big Pharma are going to skyrocket any day now.

Using Pinkie's parties as undeniable evidence for Jake's age just made the chapter. And Curry is a fast healer now? Interesting..

Her frown turned upside down, however, when she recalled a certain magical spell she had recently discovered, during her side research into ‘fun’, in a most interesting book. ‟1001 Frat Pony Pranks,” by Aitselec.

Ok, second time through and I caught the joke. I admit, I laughed.

My Hard Drive crashed three weeks ago. No Data recoverable.

You've got my sympathies. My laptop HDD kicked the bucket this spring (fortunately, I knew it was coming), and my desktop cast its withers early in the summer. It bluescreens on bootup. On top of that, our computer at work died this Monday.

Don't worry too much about your pacing--I, for one, prefer a drawn-out story that takes its time getting where it's going, rather than a "let's see if we can shove all the story elements into a thousand words or so" style that many writers on the site seem to prefer.

--admiral biscuit

Jack

Was supposed to be jake I believe

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I did a search and could not find an instance of Jack. Could you give me the line it was in, would appreciate it.

The bit at the start had me believe it was happening till it was nearly over. Very nice. Every scene with Jake is awesome in this chapter. I'm still both annoyed by and enjoying the teasing hints of what's happened to Curry.

I think more than anything I'm anticipating the inevitable Royal meeting with the two.

oh crap he knows...

and I'm still wondering if the girl has powers, like I said before it would be funny if she inadvertently made Jake an alicorn.

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