Ch19 The Camping Trip. Part one [edited]
Jake and the Kid
Chapter 19
The Camping Trip, Part one
***
“Curry is Jake’s Imaginary Friend!”
Twilight paused, holding her dramatic pose with one hoof raise high as if she were waiting for the strident blare of trumpets in the background.
She had clearly been spending far too much time with Rarity and Pinkie Pie.
After a long moment of dead silence, and the absolute blankest of looks from the Princess of the Night, Twilight coughed quietly and put all of her hooves back on the ground.
Trying not to blush, and failing badly, Twilight shuffled her hooves into a more decorous pose and added, “Of course, that is only a hypothesis. Given current information. It may need to be modified once we gather more data on the energy flows and densities. I’ve done some preliminary calculations on what we should expect if Curry truly is an imaginary friend with full substance and interactivity. Um. Princess Luna?”
“Continue, Twilight Sparkle. We are interested in how you plan to test your hypothesis.”
“Oh! Yes! Well now that you are here to help, Princess, I can run some tests on Jake to see if his energy flows are close to what I predicted. If I can detect those, it will be very strong evidence for my supposition. That will allow me to upgrade it from a hypothesis to a theory.” Twilight paused, and her expression turned uncertain. “If that is not presumptuous of me, that is? I’m sure you have many royal duties that would take precedence.”
“I would aid you most gladly, Twilight Sparkle,” Luna said graciously. “Only, pray to tell me. Why dost thou need my aid in such an endeavor?”
“Why? I would have thought that was obvious!” Twilight said in surprise, then flushed, and stammered out, “Not that I mean you can’t see the obvious! This is a test, right? You want me to show my work? Princess Celestia always wanted me to show how, and for what reasons, I came to my conclusions! Okay. I can do that!”
Luna opened her mouth to reply as Twilight took a much-needed breath, but before she could get a word in edgewise, Twilight was off and running again. “It has to do with power densities. I’m just a Unicorn. Even if I’m only running a scan on Jake’s energy, I still have to connect to his power to do it. I took extreme precautions and put several circuit breakers in the spell I used to scan Curry to protect me if my suspicions were right. There were some strong surges, but I handled them easily thanks to the precautions I took. Those might not be adequate if I were to try a similar scan directly on Jake, however. I was hoping that you’d act as a safety barrier, or maybe do the spell yourself. You, or Princess Celestia, would be able to handle any problems that might occur... um... without being turned into a charred cinder in case Jake’s magic should happen to spike during the examination.”
“Did you want something, Twilight?” Spike called from where he was cleaning up the kitchen, conveniently close to the conversation.
“Different spike, Spike.” Twilight turned back to look at Luna, and asked, “Could you spare the time to lend me a hoof, Princess Luna? ”
Luna was looking at Twilight strangely, but none of that showed in her smooth voice when she said, “It would be my pleasure, Twilight Sparkle. In truth, it coincides nicely with my reasons for coming to Ponyville at this time. You see, my sister and I have decided that for the good of Jake, it would be desirable that his physical form is adjusted to more closely synchronize with his mental age. This will afford him the opportunity to grow naturally into his power and birthright without suddenly having the duties and responsibilities of an adult thrust upon him.”
“Are you talking about an age-reduction spell? Aren’t most of those time spells that chronologically shift the target rather than actually reversing the aging process?”
“Yes, and thus you have deduced the principal difficulty we were faced with when we elected to investigate this problem.”
Twilight gave a self-deprecating laugh. “It’s amusing that you mention that. Purely out of curiosity, I did some calculations after my last encounter with Trixie. Just to see if it would be possible to actually accomplish a true age regression that would leave the pony’s memory and personality intact.”
Luna arched an eyebrow, and asked, “And did you arrive at a solution?”
“Why, yes!” Twilight said, a look of pleasure at the accomplishment on her face. For a moment she basked in the memory, before once again giving a gentle laugh and saying, “Of course, it is just on paper, and purely theoretical. I don’t have to tell you that sometimes trying to apply pure theory and reason to actual living ponies does not always work out well. There is always the X factor that is impossible to fully calculate.” Twilight shuddered slightly as the memory of trying to quantify Pinkie Pie flashed through her mind.
“Twilight Sparkle. I would be most interested in perusing both your calculations on the energy flows you feel would accompany your imaginary friend theory, and the ones in regard to age reduction.”
Twilight looked a bit flustered and self-conscious. “I would be happy to show them to you, Princess, but my calculations in regards to Jake and Curry are just some numbers I threw together and subjected to non-Gaussian regression testing for a few days, while the other was more in the nature of a mental exercise that I've been playing with since they arrived. I didn't write more than a few dozen pages of notes each and haven't double-checked my math again, so there's really no way they're worth being reviewed by a princess!" Twilight's voice rose to a faint squeak at the end, and she breathed in little panting gasps while examining Luna's expression for the smallest sign of displeasure.
“In other words, I should not regard them as your best work?” Luna asked with a raised eyebrow.
“Yes! No! I mean...!” Twilight sucked in a breath, and carefully said, “Please, I would greatly appreciate your evaluation of my work. I think I can find a red pencil for you.”
Luna smiled, “I am not your teacher, Twilight Sparkle. The manuscripts themselves shall be more than sufficient.”
***
Luna was fully engrossed in the scroll that was unrolled in front of her and held in place by her magic. It was a fascinating piece of work, showing how Twilight Sparkle had traveled down many of the same avenues of thought as she had. It was also a source of great chagrin, as Twilight’s calculations were beyond elegant in form and function. They made her own efforts look unnecessarily complicated and convoluted in comparison, which once again forcefully reminded her that Equestria had not stood still while a thousand years had passed her by.
It had required all her focus, and the mental translation of certain formula into a form she was more familiar with, to work her way through Twilight’s notes. Despite the blow to her ego, she felt a sense of elation. Combined with her own natural talents Twilight’s calculations would be a great help in the transformation spell.
There was a certain synergy in the way the young unicorn approached the problem in a different fashion then Luna, as a mountain climber might attack a steeper slope in order to attain the summit in a more rapid fashion with less apparent chance of failure, whereas Luna's approach was more methodical and filled with fallback positions, the mark of centuries of experience. Her sister had been quite correct about placing the two of them together to face this problem, and it made the solution much more attainable.
Or it would be if Jake was also what he appeared to be.
As Luna had gathered information, she had become less and less certain that the situation was as simple as it appeared on the surface. Fortunately, Twilight had also provided the means of making that evaluation, and her own brilliant scheme to deflect suspicion would allow the opportunity to both run those tests and carry out the spells. All that was required was to bring all the involved parties together.
Luna let the scroll roll up and twisted her head from side to side to relieve the kinks in her neck. With her concentration broken, she became aware of a cool, damp spot on her right shoulder, which turned out to be a sleeping Twilight Sparkle. She apparently had dozed off while reading over Luna's shoulder and now lay nestled against her side, a trail of drool trickling out of her mouth and dampening Luna’s hide. It was both appalling and unbearably cute. She used the tip of her wing to brush aside Twilight’s mane from where it had fallen over the smaller pony’s forehead and spent a minute or so enjoying the sight of the sleeping mare. When was the last time a pony, not related to her, or under the age of two, had felt so comfortable in the presence of the former Nightmare Moon that they could drool all over her in their sleep?
A faint tinkle, like the chiming of minuscule bells, drew Luna’s attention away from Twilight, and to a small glowing ball of light about six inches in diameter that was floating about three hoof lengths above the floor. As she watched the glow resolve into a small four-inch representation of Celestia, a slight smile crossed Luna’s face at the realization that despite a thousand years apart she and her sister were still so much in sync. Once the small duplicate saw that it had Luna’s attention, it extracted a golden pocket watch nearly as large as it was from somewhere and tapped it in a meaningful way.
“Yes, yes, I know. Contrary to what some ponies might think, I did set an alarm,” Luna said in a nonchalant voice. The faux Celestia gave her a skeptical look, which turned to surprise, a second before it dissolved into twinkles of floating dust as a tiny version of Luna belted it over the head with a small glowing pillow. Luna and her small copy exchanged hoof bumps.
The former small duplicate of Celestia and the current miniature version of Luna were small chunks of their respective magic, separated from their sources and given a specific set of instructions. They weren’t actually sentient, but hundreds of years of practice had allowed Celestia and herself to become so proficient in programming the little creatures that the distinction was a razor-thin one.
It was nice to find out after all the years that their sprite spells were still unique to their alicorn magic, and had not been replaced by some complicated gadget with a manual written in Neighponese and Cowhilli.
Not wanting to disturb Twilight, and not actually needing to move from where she was to lower the moon, Luna focused her magic and grasped the forces that kept the moon in place. Before she could accomplish her sacred duty, the motes that had formerly been the Celestia-sprite coalesced back into their original form.
The miniature image of Celestia adopted a pugilistic position and gave Luna-sprite a come-on gesture. An even smaller version of the sprite pranced around the two of them waving a ‘Round 2’ sign to the sound of a tiny clanging bell. Luna-sprite shifted till she resembled Nightmare Moon more than a little, bared cute little fangs and mimicked Celestia-sprite’s aggressive posture.
The flag filly turned into a miniature glowing anvil and fell on Luna-sprite’s head with a far-too loud clang, dispelling her into numerous little glowing bits.
Luna fumed; the rules of Sprite to Sprite combat meant she was not allowed to pump any more magic into her duplicate after its initial creation. Her little copy was going to have to win this on her own. In the meantime, she had a moon to lower.
Once again Luna focused and reached out for the moon, but as she did so, the Celestia-sprite resumed her original form of a glowing orb and began to rotate in the vertical plane. Faster and faster the globe of light turned, spinning out into a shining disk. When it was as big across as one of the windows in the library, a scene appeared in it.
It only took Luna a moment to realize she was seeing an outside view of the library. Sitting and standing in the street were five or six adult ponies and something like twice that number of foals. It was a bit hard to count the foals, as they were in constant motion. In the forefront of the group, and staring raptly at the library, was the tiny colt Luna had met during Nightmare Night. The one who had declared in full sincerity that she was his favorite princess.
***
A murmur of excitement echoed in the early morning air as Princess Luna stepped out of the Library, and faced the ponies waiting in the street. “May we help you?” she asked carefully, uncertain of what the proper protocol was when confronting a mob in front of a friend’s house. In some ways, it would have been a lot easier if they’d been carrying pitchforks and torches, or even signs saying ‘Nightmare Moon Go Home.’
The older ponies looked nervous and stood shuffling their hooves in the dirt of the street, but Pipsqueak, the small Trottingham colt, practically bounced forward followed by the rest of the young foals. “We’ve come to see you lower the moon, Princess Luna!” He was wiggling so much in delight that his tail was actually wagging in a most endearing manner like some large pinto puppy.
“Why?” Luna could not stop herself from interjecting. “It is not a particularly interesting display,” she added, as much to herself as to Pipsqueak. At the same time, she glanced toward the adult ponies, expecting to see a great deal of trepidation on behalf of the young foals. Instead, they looked more embarrassed than worried. That was... different.
Pipsqueak looked surprised as if he could not understand how she could fail to grasp the why of it. “Because you’re Ponyville’s Princess!" he said. He looked back over his shoulder at his peers. “Isn’t that right, you lot?” There were murmurs of agreement, though the other colts and fillies were too shy to speak up as loudly as Pipsqueak.
“I... see,” Luna said, not really seeing at all, but all the same feeling a soft warm glow deep inside at the sentiment. “Then, observe!” she announced in a regal tone.
Princess Luna’s wings snapped out to their full extension, and she rose into the air, a soft nimbus of magic surrounding her body and expanding out until it was impossible to tell where Luna stopped and the night began. High in the night sky, the moon and stars began a stately dance toward the horizon.
***
“Princess Luna. I am so, so, sorry! I don’t know what happened to me! I have never fallen asleep in class before! Please, please, forgive me! It will never happen again! I promise, really!”
Luna, who had been returning after lowering the moon, paused in the doorway of the library while taking in the distraught Twilight Sparkle and trying not to laugh. The librarian was suffering from a severe case of bed-head. In truth, she looked like she’d been dragged backward through a knothole. Hardly a single hair in her mane and tail was aligned, while the side of her muzzle was crusted with dried drool, and her eyes were crusty with sleep.
Luna had her work cut out trying to stifle a horse laugh at the sight. With the exception of her sister, she’d never seen a Pony in such disarray, although it occurred to her that in normal circumstances, no pony would dream of appearing before her without first taking significant care of their appearance.
On the few lucky occasions when Luna had caught Celestia in this situation, she had quickly conjured up her camera. Among the many treasures she had recovered from storage, one of her favorites was a scrapbook of just such candid photos. No such reaction moved her as she considered poor Twilight Sparkle’s reaction when she saw herself in a mirror.
Luna moved toward Twilight, intending to rectify the matter. As she did, she assured the small pony that no fault accrued to her. “Twilight Sparkle. Thou are not our, my, student. There is no censure earned here. Nay, you are to be given the most fervent of accolades. Your calculations shall, I am most certain, prove to be invaluable in the task I have come to Ponyville to accomplish.”
Twilight flushed in pleasure, and then in nervousness as Luna stepped right up till her muzzle almost touched her. “What?” she stuttered out, drawing back just a fraction.
“You have a little smudge. Right here,” Luna said, licking one hoof and then using the damp appendage to rub Twilight’s reddened cheek. She used the closeness to lightly touch her horn to Twilight’s. The intimate proximity allowed for an extremely subtle spell as she sent a little housekeeping magic through the link. A rather pleasant tingle shivered her horn, and from Twilight’s expression, she was feeling the same thing. The nervous mare’s mane and tail untangled themselves and returned to their normal silky smooth appearance. “There. Much better,” Luna said in satisfaction. She found herself looking straight into Twilight’s wide eyes, and found herself reluctant to pull away now that her task was done. Indeed, she found herself giving in to a strong urge to move her head a couple of inches closer, close enough to–
“Hey, Twilight, got news ... Oh My Gosh!” Luna and Twilight jerked apart as Rainbow Dash skidded to a stop in the library, both physically and conversationally.
After a moment of stunned staring- which was probably the longest the Pegasus had been immobile in days- she laughed weakly and rubbed the back of her head while avoiding direct eye contact. “Sorry about that. I’ll just wait outside while you two get straightened out.” Dash fluttered backward out the still open door. Just before she vanished from sight, she gave Twilight a way-to-go-girl wink, and hoofs up, before catching herself and giving Luna a sheepish grin.
Twilight, her face crimson with embarrassment, moved slightly toward the door while shuffling a forehoof on the floor, “Ah, I really, should go and . . .” she trailed off, clearly not knowing how to handle the situation.
“Certes, you must go and speak with your friend. Clearly, she has news to impart. We will also require her assistance in gathering the necessary parties for our endeavor.” Luna felt her own cheeks burning and realized that she was no better off than Twilight in dealing with what had almost happened between them. She had a dreadful feeling that she had been on the verge of taking advantage of Twilight Sparkle. It was a terrible abuse of her authority, and she should feel lucky that she had been interrupted. She really should. So why didn’t she?
***
Behind Luna, the small Celestia-sprite smiled knowingly at the unsettled princess while floating forward in a straight path toward one blushing ear. But before she reached her destination, with salacious comments still unsaid, the Celestia-sprite heard a soft tinkling, much like a giggle, behind her. Looking back, her eyes had just enough time to widen in dismay before the head of a huge wooden mallet, with 100T written on the side, smashed her into a cloud of glistening motes of light. Luna-sprite dusted a few tiny golden sparkles off her favored weapon and smirked at the dissipating cloud that had been her rival.
The oversized novelty hammer dissolved slowly into a blue sparkly cloud, the effect traveling from the head down the handle to the sprite holding it and continued as the small construct joined it in dissolution. The resulting cloud of magic streamed toward Luna and vanished into her mane, unnoticed by the preoccupied princess.
***
“Twilight!” Rainbow Dash exclaimed in a breathless tone of awe when her friend caught up with her outside the library. “I thought Daring Do was the bravest, most awesome, pony in all of Equestria, but you’re in a class all your own! I can’t believe it! I mean I joked about it with Applejack, but to imagine, you actually got it on with Princess Luna. No one will ever believe it!”
When Rainbow Dash paused to draw a breath, Twilight covered her mouth with a hoof. “Nothing. Happened!” she said in her most serious voice, trying to ignore the broad grin that peeked out from both sides of her hoof. Repressing the urge to add another hoof to Rainbow’s mouth, she continued, “We were just going over research pertaining to Jake’s situation and the possible solutions thereof available to us.” She removed her hoof, but her posture revealed clearly she was ready to forcefully reinsert it if needed.
Rainbow’s expression grew puzzled, and Twilight could almost see her friend running that last sentence through her mind. She could also tell when Dash gave that up and focused on her denial. She sighed inwardly at the sly, knowing look that appeared on Dash’s face. “Sure, sure, I get you. Don’t worry. I won’t tell a soul. It will be our little secret.” Dash finished the last bit by laying a hoof alongside her muzzle and giving Twilight a big wink.
Twilight knew from experience that this was not an argument she was going to win anytime soon, and one she certainly was not going to have in the middle of the street. She decided to settle for getting Dash out of here before she said something incriminating in front of the Princess. Twilight shuddered at the potential contretemps. The last thing she wanted Princess Luna to think was that she was spreading salacious rumors about their relationship.
“Listen, Dash. I need you to do me a favor,” Twilight said in a no-nonsense-now, tone. “I need you to ask Fluttershy to take Curry over to Sweet Apple Acres. In fact, if Curry and Fluttershy are willing, it might be best if you flew her there yourself. You can tell Applejack to expect Princess Luna and me soon. Ask her to get Jake and Curry ready for a camping trip. If she can be spared from the farm, it would be wonderful if she could come as well . . .” Twilight trailed off when she noticed that Rainbow was shaking her head in a negative fashion while giving Twilight her patented, I-know-something-you-don’t, look.
“What?” Twilight demanded.
“Jake and the Cutie Mark Crusaders came by Fluttershy’s place last night while Shy was looking for Curry. They decided to spend the night and wait for her to come back. The whole herd headed off to Sweet Apple Acres just before I left. They’re likely all there by now.”
“The Crusaders!” Twilight said in dread, visions of the front page of the school newspaper carrying a huge expose on Jake and Curry.
Rainbow looked smug in the face of Twilight’s clear distress. She let her friend stew a bit and only relented when a strand of hair spronged free of Twilight’s surprisingly well-coiffed mane.
“You don’t have to worry about the fillies. Applejack took them back to the farm to keep them corralled for the time being. They’re so interested in Jake and Curry that you’d have to use a whole herd of stallions to drag them away.”
Twilight gave a sigh of relief. “Thank goodness! I should have known I could trust Applejack to keep a lid on things.”
“Hay, AJ ain’t the only one you can trust to keep a lid on things,” Dash protested what she saw as a personal slight.
“Oh? Like the way you kept a lid on Scootaloo’s plan to jump over Applejack’s barn on her scooter?” Twilight asked, looking at Dash from the corner of her eye in a nonchalant manner.
“Hey, that would have been awesome, and well worth the price of the ticket!” Dash protested. She then looked slightly sheepish, and added, “Besides, I caught her before she hit that manure spreader.”
“Whatever you say.” Twilight then got serious, “It’s good that both Jake and Curry are there. I suppose it would be best if we had the Cutie Mark Crusaders come along on the camping trip. Now that I think about it, it's not a problem. It's a multipurpose solution. They’ll help keep Curry and Jake occupied, let the other campers express the importance of keeping this a secret, and keeps the CMC from running around town talking about snipes. Can you come along?”
“Wouldn’t miss it for the world,” Dash said. “I’ll head right over their now and give AJ a heads up.”
***
The front room of Bon Bon’s candy shop was filled nearly to bursting with neatly packaged boxes of candy. Nearby the middle of the floor was occupied with the slumbering form of two mares and one dazed, but extremely happy Pegasus stallion.
When Sweets and Lyra had returned to Bon Bon’s candy shop, they had found her working like a dervish, wrapping and packaging Pinkie Pie’s order. With an icy stare and a frown impervious to apologies or explanations, she had simply pointed them to waiting trays of fresh candy with two words. “Sit. Wrap!” The two, one of them showing uncharacteristic good sense, and the other trained to follow the commands of an obviously superior officer, had obeyed. The next few hours of frantic non-stop packaging had seen the completion of Pinkie Pie’s commission.
Only when the last box was tied with a ribbon and added to the stacks lining the walls did Bon Bon face Sweets directly, and order him, “Spill it!” in a tone even Drill Instructor Chert would have been impressed with.
Sweets’ expression turned joyful as he remembered the very gratifying whinnies that Bon Bon and Lyra had let out upon learning that Princess Celestia and Princess Luna wished to give Bon Bon a contract for the exclusive procurement to the candy maker’s special Triple Espresso Swirls (With Candied Coffee Bean Topping.) While her income from that single contract would be fairly small, the fact that Bon Bon had gained an exclusive agreement to supply the Princesses would increase her reputation, and make getting her master’s certificate almost a certainty. From that point on, it would only be a matter of time before her candies becoming status symbols among all the Canterlot elite. The hugs both mares had given Sweets while squealing at the top of their lungs had been the high point of his day.
Well, it had been a little hard on the ears.
Not nearly as hard on his ears as Bon Bon’s next move, which consisted of her taking a firm grip on one of them with her strong teeth and pulling his head down till his muzzle almost rubbed the floor. Upon which she let him know in no uncertain terms his fate if he should ever pull a stunt like that again.
Once she’d made her point, however, Bon Bon and Lyra had joined together to treat him to a truly monumental make out session. It had taken a lot of willpower on his part to keep things from going too far. He was mindful that he still had one last major secret he was keeping from the girls. He wanted no secrets between them when they finally, hopefully, consummated their relationship.
To be totally honest, a good proportion of his success in resisting the girl’s charms, and them allowing him to, was down to the fact that all three of them were by that point in time totally exhausted.
Sweets looked down fondly at the two mares nestled against his sides. He wrapped his wings around them, not to cuddle, though that was a nice fringe benefit, but to keep the morning sun out of their eyes. He figured that both mares were likely to sleep away a good proportion of the day. That should give Princess Luna a chance to work in a Lyra-free environment till after lunch at least. After that, he would just have to cross his legs, both for luck, and protection, if Lyra figured out just what he had done.
***
Curry twisted the brim of her uncle’s hat between her fingers as she tucked her chin down and stared at the scuffed wooden floor. Her shoulders were hunched, and there were tear tracks down her cheeks. She was no stranger to being called on the carpet for her actions, but this time the five-minute talk she had just received had left her stomach aching and her heart feeling like a lead ball in her chest like no other lecture ever had. That was because the one-sided discussion had barely touched on her misdeeds, but instead had focused on how it had affected others, one pony in particular. She was just glad there was no audience to this well-deserved scolding.
“Look at me,” Applejack said in a firm no-nonsense voice.
Curry lifted her head till she could look the farm pony in the eyes. It was clear from Applejack’s stance that she didn’t want to be here any more than Curry, but also that she had about as much give in her as a boulder the size of a house. There would be no escaping any punishment she considered suitable.
“So, are you all sorry for what you did?”
“Yes, Miss Applejack,” Curry said in a rough whisper. “Honest. I never meant to make Miss Fluttershy worry.”
“That’s as might be, but you did! Poor Fluttershy was near on frantic with fear for you. I don’t ever want to see her like that again. I’ll be powerfully disappointed if’n you’ll make her cry again!”
Curry winced, her shoulders hunching as she tried to shrink into herself.
Applejack examined her closely, and then gave a nod of her head. “All right then. I reckon you should trot along now and meet up with Apple Bloom and her friends. Don’t go waking Jake. That colt had a right long day yesterday, and he’s still sleeping. Let him get up in his own good time."
“Yes’m,” Curry said, faintly, turning toward the room’s closed door. She wiped her forearm across her face and swallowed noisily. She started back when she opened the door and found the elderly pony she had met for a moment just before Applejack had hustled her upstairs for a talk standing there.
“Applejack, there you are. Filthy is down in the yard with that sprout of his. Wants to have a word with you.”
“Oh, Celestia, what now?” Applejack huffed. “Curry, you had best stay put here till I deal with this.”
“Yes’m,” Curry said, still clutching her hat in her hands like a security blanket.
***
Applejack paused upon spotting Filthy Rich waiting in the yard, with Diamond Tiara hanging back a few yards behind her father. The normally well groomed and confident pony with the ready smile was missing. Instead, the wealthy business pony looked a wreck, at least by his normal standards. His coat was dull with dust and his mane lacked its usual perfect grooming. She could not for the life of her recall ever meeting him in such a state. The strangeness didn’t end with his physical appearance. There was something in his eyes, a worry far greater than anything she had seen in him before, and that look of desperation brought Applejack down off the porch and across the road to his side at a quick trot. “Rich, you look like five miles of bad road! What all is ailing you, and what can I do to help?”
Filthy Rich looked a bit startled and made a visible effort to draw himself up and present a more put-together front. “Why there is not a solitary single thing the matter with me Applejack, that can’t be cured by a good nights sleep. I’m just been on the road for some time now, and the truth is that I’m going to be needing to head out again very soon. Pertaining to that, I was thinking that it might be an opportune time to carry through with that discussion we had during the last Zap Apple harvest.”
Applejack blinked at the flood of words and tried to remember what discussion Filthy Rich might be talking about. As she did, her eyes wandered over to Diamond Tiara who, if anything, looked in even rougher shape than her father. Normally the filly was even more particular about her appearance then Rarity.
Story was, she had a pony whose only job was to make sure she never left the house with a hair out of place.
You’d never know it to look at her now. Her mane looked like birds had been nesting in it. In fact, Applejack would swear there were twigs and leaves in it. Her tail was just as tangled and matted. The dust on her face sported tear tracks that went with her red eyes. Applejack was a bit careless about her appearance, to tell the truth, but even she’d never go out in public like that given a choice in the matter.
Looking at Diamond Tiara reminded Applejack about the last time the filly had been on the farm, and that in turn brought to mind just what it might be that Filthy Rich was talking about.
***
It had been during the Zap Apple preparation when Filthy Rich had firmly insisted that Diamond Tiara join in with the other fillies and colts helping Granny Smith. Rich had hung back and talked with Applejack. Their conversation had been a little disjointed, but the wealthy pony had spoken extensively about his own youthful years, and that one of the happiest periods of his life was the month he spent working at Sweet Apple Acres as a colt, getting his hooves dirty and learning all that was involved in producing produce.
Applejack remembered that well because she recalled how she’d rolled her eyes behind his back at the idea that anyone could learn even a fraction of what was needed about running a farm in a month.
As they had watched a very reluctant, and self-conscious, Diamond Tiara, Rich had suggested rather wistfully that it would be nice if his darling daughter could have such an equally wonderful experience.
***
Applejack snapped back to the present, her eyes going wide. “Y’all want Diamond Tiara to spend some time here?” she asked in a voice that was more than a touch panicked.
Filthy Rich was not oblivious to Applejack’s tone. He hastily directed a look at his daughter over his shoulder, before guiding Applejack over to the side of the house, and out of hearing of Diamond Tiara. The young filly was oblivious. She was looking around her with an attitude of disdain while giving the impression that she wished she could float a few inches above the dirt and mire of the farmyard.
“Applejack, you have to help me here!” Filthy Rich pleaded, his facade of control cracking like thin ice.
Applejack was shocked to see tears forming in the business pony’s eyes. “What the hay, Rich,” she exclaimed.
“My darling Diamond Tiara came home last night reeking of alcohol and vomit! She was nearly incoherent, ranting about some creature named a Snipe who had attacked her!”
“A Snipe!” Applejack blurted out before she could stop herself, barely keeping herself from glancing upward toward the room above them where Curry was waiting, if she had obeyed Applejack’s order.
“I know, totally ridiculous. Everyone knows there are no such things as Snipes. I don’t know where she even heard about them.”
Applejack shuffled her feet and looked at the horizon over Filthy Rich’s head as if the solution to this problem might be found in the clouds if she just looked hard enough.
Sensing Applejack’s reluctance, Filthy Rich dropped to his knees in front of the farm pony, causing her to shy backward in surprise until her hindquarters came up against the wall of the house. “Please, I’m begging you, AJ! Help me save my princess. I don’t want her to end up one of those spoiled ponies in Canterlot who never do a lick of work and getting drunk every day because their lives are empty. I want something better for her than that.”
It wasn’t in Applejack’s nature to reject such a heartfelt plea, but she could not help but wince when she thought about extending a hoof to Diamond Tiara. That was one tough row to plow, particularly in the present complicated situation. At the same time, she couldn’t help think that maybe Curry was tied up in this somehow, with all this talk of Snipes. Maybe Curry had stumbled across the filly while Diamond Tiara had been out behind her house drinking? Applejack wasn’t that fond of the stuck up little filly, but in this case, she did feel a certain amount of empathy for her.
Applejack had once, when she was young and foolish, snuck a jug of Granny’s hard cider out behind the barn. The aftermath of that experiment had left her with an aversion to the hard stuff, and a certain amount of sympathy for anyone who had experienced the same thing.
The fact that she hadn’t been able to stomach solid food for two days, or sit down comfortably for a week, had not hindered the educational process either.
All those factors combined led her to give a reluctant nod of her head, “Okay, Rich. I’ll take on the sprout. When were you thinking?”
“Now is as good a time as any!” Rich answered hurriedly. “I’ll send someone with her basic necessities.”
Before Applejack could speak up, he whirled in place and trotted over to Diamond Tiara. “Your mother and I are going to Canterlot for a month, princess. The house is going to be closed up till we get back and the servants have the month off, but Applejack is going to look after you while we’re gone. You be good for her, princess, and listen to whatever she tells you.” He planted a kiss on her forehead, and then took her tiara firmly between his teeth. “You won’t be needing this on the farm. I’ll just put it in the safe for the next month,” he mumbled, before turning and all but galloping out of the farmyard.
Diamond Tiara looked after her father in stark disbelief, before yelling, “What? Daddy! You can’t be serious! Daddy, come back!” She was so shocked that it took her a moment to comprehend his final words. A hoof went to her forehead, and for the first time, true dread appeared in her eyes. The removal of her tiara drove home the terrifying realization that daddy was really serious about this ludicrous plan. Panic-stricken, she started to run after him.
“Whoa there, youngster,” Applejack said gently as she put herself between Diamond Tiara and the gate. “Your pa has business to attend to. Don’t you fret none, we’uns will look after you right good.” Applejack kept a smile on her face, though there was a scowl underneath it at the rather cowardly way Filthy Rich had dropped this on his daughter. Poor little sprout.
“Get out of my way, you colossal hick!” Diamond Tiara snarled, trying to work her way around Applejack. The farm pony, well used to herding stubborn critters, shifted without the need to think about it, and kept the filly from running after her father. As she did so, the close proximity to the small foal brought the slightly bitter and astringent scent of vomit, overlaid with the odor of alcohol to her nose. It was sharp and quiet, but still noticeable, and proved that Rich hadn’t just been blowing smoke up her backside.
“I’m starting to see why your pa might have been a bit worried about you,” Applejack said with a noticeable lack of sympathy in her voice. “With an attitude like that you’d have a hard time selling ice in a heat wave. Now I don’t want us getting off on the wrong hoof here, but I got to warn you if you mouth off like that to Granny Smith, she’s likely to take you out behind the barn and tan your hindquarters with a willow switch regardless of who you are! Can’t say I’d blame her much, tell the truth!”
The small earth filly looked at Applejack in shock, “You wouldn’t dare! My daddy–.”
“Left you for me to look after. And I’ll tell you, girl. An Apple takes her responsibility seriously once she makes a promise. You do. Not! Want! To! Test! Me! Are we understanding each other?”
A huge amount of Diamond Tiara’s bluster evaporated under Applejack’s firm gaze, and she seemed to shrink in on herself.
“I’m not hearing you answering!” Applejack snapped out.
Diamond Tiara gave a little squeal and stumbled backward slightly. “Yes. I understand!” she blurted out.
Applejack’s expression remained unforgiving, but inside she was feeling almost as emotionally torn as Diamond Tiara. The filly was spoiled rotten, and while kindness was Applejack’s preferred method of dealing with youngsters she also knew that a firm hoof was just as important. Truthfully, she would never let Granny switch Diamond Tiara if it became necessary, she’d do it herself. Which was why she’d do just about anything, to make sure it never came to that, even if it meant scaring the horse apples out of the filly to make her mind.
***
Curry’s fabric ears pricked up as the word Snipe floated through the open window. She crept closer and peeked over the sill down into the farmyard, just barely far enough to make out Applejack and some other pony below talking. This close to the window the murmur of voices became much clearer. She quickly ducked down so she wouldn’t be seen.
The small girl listened with interest to the conversation going on below. Her eyes widened as she heard the man . . . stallion, beg Applejack to save his princess. She gave into temptation and once again peeked over the edge of the window. She let out a little gasp as she spotted the princess she had met the day before. Mind you, the beautiful princess from the day before was looking a lot mangier now. In fact, she made a fair-ground pony look pretty, and that after the pony in question has spent the entire day giving rides to dozens of kids, many of them overstuffed with junk food and more than a little queasy as a result.
Curry slipped back down and turned so she could sit on the floor with her back to the wall, while her mind whirled with thoughts.
This was the classic spoiled brat princess has to live like a commoner story. What was that going to mean for her? Should she try to make friends with the princess? Nah, she likely had ponies kissing her flank everywhere she went. She shouldn’t be mean to her, though. Fluttershy wouldn’t like that, Curry was sure of that. Best thing likely was to treat her just like any other pony.
“Ahhhhh, but I already met her at her palace,” Curry said in frustration, bumping her forehead with the palm of her hand. “So she knows that I know she’s a princess.”
“What all are you doing, Curry.”
Curry looked up to see Applejack’s little sister standing in the doorway. Once again she had to keep from rushing right over and cuddling the adorable little foal. “Oh, hi, Apple Bloom. Just trying to figure out how to act around the princess who is going to be staying here for awhile.”
“One of the Princesses are going to be staying here? Which one? Princess Celestia? No, that can’t be! Has to be her sister! But why?”
“Far as I can tell, she got drunk, and is getting sent here to dry out and to get her away from all the bad influences in some place called Canterlot.”
“Princess Luna is a drunk?” Apple Bloom cried out and then flushed as she looked around frantically to see if anypony had heard her. “That can’t be true,” she whispered, trotting up next to where Curry was sitting on the floor. Her eyes were just slightly above those of Curry as she stared down at the small human.
Curry’s eyes squinted at Apple Bloom’s words, remembering the beautiful dark pony she had met the night before. “She is? Does everyone know?” she asked, wondering how ponies felt about a drunk being half in charge of everything.
“What? I don’t know! You’re the one who said she was!” Apple Bloom accused Curry.
“What? Never did!” Curry retorted.
“Did too! You said she got drunk and was being sent here to dry out!”
“Did not. I was talking about the other princess!”
“Princess Celestia? That’s not possible,” Apple Bloom said with the vehemence that only a fan defending her favorite idol could muster.
Curry brows furrowed. She’d heard the princess’ name the day before, she was sure of it. She couldn’t remember what it was, but she was pretty sure it wasn’t Celestia. “Look, take a peek out the window and see for yourself.” Curry suited actions to her words and turned around and slid her head up high enough so she could look out into the farmyard where Applejack was nose to nose with the young princess.
Apple Bloom crowded in next to Curry, the healthy scent of young pony mixed with straw, dust, sunlight, and just a hint of apple forming a pleasant perfume. Curry had never understood how the same people who wrinkled up their noses at the smell of horse could stay in the same room with some of the good ladies of the town who practically bathed in perfume. She’d take the smell of a barnyard over being trapped in a room with one of those ‘clean’ ladies any day of the month.
“Where is she,” Apple Bloom whispered, her breath gusting against Curry’s cheek.
Curry glanced over to see where Apple Bloom was looking. To her puzzlement, as far as she could tell Apple Bloom was looking at the same place she was. There was even a sour expression on her face that could only be because of the one stranger in view. “Right there. Talking to Applejack,” Curry said.
Apple Bloom blinked, looked at Curry with her eyes brows arched high, and back out into the yard. She pointed with a hoof at her sister and the princess. “You can’t mean Diamond Tiara?” the small farm pony asked a disbelieving tone.
“Diamond Tiara. That’s right. That’s what the other pony called her,” Curry affirmed.
“You think Diamond Tiara is a princess?” Apple Bloom asked incredulously. “Heh, he, hah, hah, ha, ha!” Apple Bloom started to chortle, she stuffed her front hooves in her mouth in an effort to stifle the noise. Falling over onto her back her rear legs kicked at the air while her sides heaved as wheezing laughter escaped around her hooves. “Diamond Tiara, a princess! Oh, my sides hurt! Wait till I tell Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo!”
It didn’t take a genius to understand what was going on. Curry flushed red as she realized she’d obviously jumped to a totally ridiculous conclusion. Which she thought was a bit unfair. The filly had been in the yard of a huge mansion, surrounded by boxes and boxes of expensive chocolates, wearing a princess crown on her head. What was she supposed to think?
Watching Apple Bloom rolling back and forth on the floor in near hysterics made Curry feel very hard done by. It wasn’t fair to laugh at her for an honest mistake. “I’ll give you something to laugh about. Retribution!” Curry cried out as she launched herself at the giggling pony. Her fingers dug into Apple Bloom’s side, looking for the sweet spot. She knew she’d found it when the pony under let out a gasp and tried to buck her way free.
“No, stop, hah, don’t, hah, I can’t, hehehehehhe!” Apple Bloom yelled and cried as Curry tickled her unmercifully.
Curry’s advantage didn’t last long. Despite her rodeo experience calf roping, she didn’t have a rope, and Apple Bloom outweighed her by at least two to one. Despite her efforts, she was rolled over onto her back with Apple Bloom on top.
“Now I got you,” Apple Bloom cried out in triumph. Her hooves dug into Curry’s sides, and despite the girl’s attempt to keep her arms pinned against her body, they forced their way up into her pits, drawing howls of laughter from the small girl as Apple Bloom found Curry’s own tender spot.
Apple Bloom dug her hooves in lightly and demanded, “Surrender, Snipe!”
“Never!” Curry yelled back at her while trying futilely to squirm out from under the pony.
“Take this then!” Apple Bloom said, doing her best Nightmare Moon impression. She dug her hooves into Curry’s tender underarm area.
“Uncle, Uncle!” Curry yelled.
“Yer Uncle ain’t here to save you. Say Apple Bloom is the best pony!” She wiggled her hooves ruthlessly.
Neither Curry or Apple Bloom noticed the door to the room opening behind them as Curry cried out.
“Stop, stop, I’m going to pee myself!” Curry cried out as Apple Bloom reduced her to uncontrolled hysterics. “You got me, stop! Apple Bloom is the best pony!”
Applejack was gob-smacked at the scene that greeted her as she had opened the door to the guest room.
Not nearly as surprised as Diamond Tiara, who was right behind her.
Applejack had decided it would be best to get introductions to the strangest critter on the farm over with as quickly as possible if the spoiled little rich pony was going to be staying. So right after the confrontation in the farmyard, she had marched Diamond Tiara right up the stairs.
“What in the hay? Apple Bloom, you get up off of her right this instant. She’s a guest in our house!”
At the exact same instant, Diamond Tiara cried out. “No! You can’t! That’s my Snipe! I saw her first! You can’t have her! I won’t let you have her!” The spoiled filly stamped her hooves on the floor in frustration and then launched herself across the room to tackle Apple Bloom off of Curry. The two fillies rolled across the floor, hooves flailing, while Diamond Tiara cried out over and over again, “She’s mine, mine, mine!”
***
Curry had been sent tumbling across the floor when Apple Bloom was wrenched off of her. She quickly rolled away from the squabbling tangle a few feet away. If it had not been for the color of their coats and manes it would have been hard to tell where one pony ended and the other started.
Curry got to her feet, crouching slightly, watching warily as the two fighting fillies rolled back and forth. The collar of her body suit was suddenly grabbed and she was lifted up off her feet and swung to the side.
“You’ll want to be steering well clear of those two,” Applejack mumbled around her mouthful of cloth. She let Curry go and gave her a nudge with her head, pushing her toward the open door. You scoot. I’ll take care of these two.”
Curry was reluctant to leave Apple Bloom alone, even though she knew there was nothing she could do in a situation like this. She paused in the doorway, watching, but not inclined in the least to jump in. Only a plum idiot would try to get between two fighting mares, even if they were only foals. That didn’t stop Applejack from barreling right into the fight. Her head swooped down and hooked under Apple Bloom’s belly, tossing her across the room while at the same time her hip swung around and checked Diamond Tiara into the corner. The two fillies were looking hard rode: Apple Bloom had blood trickling from her nose and what looked like the beginning of a champion black eye, while Diamond Tiara was favoring her right hind leg, and also had a bloody nose. Both Ponies were covered in dust and grime.
“Apple Bloom. I am plumb ashamed of you, picking on a critter so much smaller than you. And what the hay were you thinking, Diamond Tiara, jumping Apple Bloom like that?”
Curry’s fabric ears lay back on hearing Apple Bloom faulted for picking on her.
“She stole my Snipe!” an unrepentant Diamond Tiara accused Apple Bloom.
“I ain’t your Snipe! I ain’t nopony’s Snipe!” Curry snapped at Diamond Tiara. She started to march back into the room but backed up at a hard look from Applejack, but that just changed the focus of her ire. “Apple Bloom wasn’t ‘picking’ on me! We all were just playing, and I were the one that started it!” She crossed her arms and stuck her bottom lip out.
Curry could see Applejack consider her words, and dismiss them in a second. “Apple Bloom should have been gentler with you. You’re just a little bit of a thing.” That set the small girl to fuming and contemplating jumping Applejack to prove she was no pushover. Good sense prevailed, but just barely.
***
“Do you think Curry would want to be a Cutie Mark Crusader?” Scootaloo asked Sweetie Belle in an overly casually manner.
Sweetie Belle looked up from where she was using her tail in a futile attempt to dust off a bale of hay. “Do Snipes even have Cutie Marks?” Sweetie Belle asked. She considered for a moment and then added, “Maybe she already has one. She covers her flanks, and pretty much everything else with that outfit that Rarity made for her.” A touch of incredulity entered into her voice as she said the last little bit. She was still having a hard time matching the thing Curry was always wearing with her sister.
“We could ask. I think she’d make a great member. She’s got those big stretched out paws that are really good for handling things. She could help us try out all sorts of new Cutie Mark experiments with them.”
The small unicorn squinted suspiciously at her friend. “This wouldn’t have anything to do with Jake not being interested?”
Scootaloo flushed slightly. She’d given Jake the full sales pitch, but Jake had shown little interest after learning that there was not likely to be much heavy pulling involved. “No. Of course not!” she protested, her refusal to meet Sweetie Belle’s eyes indicating that her friend’s question had been right on the muzzle.
Sweetie just kept looking at Scootaloo till the little filly broke down and held up her hooves in protection from the penetrating gaze. “Gah, fine! Yeah. I figured if we got Curry to join, Jake would come along with her. Can you blame me? He’s so cool, and Rainbow Dash is going to teach him how to fly. We could take lessons together.”
“Git in there you three,” Applejack’s muffled voice came from outside the barn. Both Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo’s ears laid back flat as Diamond Tiara stumbled into the barn. They came back up as Apple Bloom, followed by a rather angry looking Curry followed her, with Applejack coming up the rear with a bucket filled with various cleaning brushes and rags held between her teeth and a stack of large fluffy towels draped over her back.
The two fillies made a wide circle around the uncharacteristically dirty and disheveled Diamond Tiara, not missing the bloody nose as they did so. The pair nuzzled up to Apple Bloom, who tellingly was also sporting a nose bleed and the beginning of a black eye. “What did she do to you?” the asked their friend while shooting dirty looks toward Diamond Tiara.
“I don’t see why I have to take a shower too,” Curry complained to Applejack while this was going on. “I had a bath at Fluttershy’s two days ago.”
This was it, Curry thought with glee. There was no Unicorn cheater around this time. Just let Applejack try to strip her down for a shower. Her eyes wandered around the barn, taking into consideration several loops of handy rope. She'd have that palomino hogtied before she knew what hit her. She’d show her who was small and helpless. Planning ahead, Curry quickly ran over the procedure in her mind for making a quick temporary hackamore from a length of rope.
“Suit yourself. You ain’t my responsibility. If you want to smell like a polecat, that’s between you and Fluttershy. Just so long as you don’t mind sleeping and eating in the barn. You can go sit over there out of the way while I get this done,” Applejack said with a shrug, nudging Apple Bloom over to a tiled section of the barn, with a shower head and hose conveniently close by. In an isolated corner, well away from anything flammable, a makeshift boiler simmered away, steam puffing out of several rags wrapped joints in the piping.
Curry watched Applejack turn away in disbelief. This wasn’t the way it was supposed to go. Adults didn’t let kids slide on bath time. It, it, it wasn’t playing by the rules. And she didn’t smell like a polecat! Did she? Making sure nopony was looking at her, Curry raised an arm and took a good sniff. She didn’t smell that bad. Well, she’d smelled a lot worse. Like the time she’d mistaken that manure pile for a haystack.
While Curry was checking out her personal hygiene, Applejack grabbed a hose and started sluicing down Apple Bloom with steamy warm water. “Get on over here and I’ll wet you down as well,” she told Diamond Tiara, who was standing off by herself looking horrified at the scene unfolding in front of her.
“You have got to be joking!” the spoiled pony blurted out. “Shower in these barbaric conditions! In front of everypony? The door isn’t even closed. A colt could walk right in if he wanted.”
“Heh, heh,” Applejack chuckled. “She sounds just like your big sister,” she told Sweetie Belle in an aside. Addressing both of Apple Bloom’s friends, she asked, “How about one of you give me a hoof with Apple Bloom here, and the other one helps Diamond Tiara with the hard to reach spots?” Applejack pretended not to notice Apple Bloom was nearly as red as Big Mac by this point, while on the other hoof, Diamond Tiara was looking pale, and somewhat frightened. She had backed up till her hindquarters were pressed tight against a stack of hay.
“Come near me and I’ll buck you so hard you won’t wake up till you get your cutie marks. And in case you’re too stupid to figure it out, that means never,” she threatened both Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle, who were looking at her with distaste.
“Want to flip a bit to see who helps her?” Scootaloo asked Sweetie Belle.
“I don’t need the help of either of you pathetic blank flanks. Why does the stupid Snipe get out of doing this and I have to!” she whined to Applejack as Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo turned their back on her and moved in to help soap up their friend, ignoring her completely.
“Because she ain’t my responsibility! Apple Bloom is, and for the next month, so are you. Here, take this,” Applejack called out, tossing the end of the hose she’d been using to Diamond Tiara, who jumped back like it was a live snake, which it somewhat resembled as it twisted around on the floor due to the stream of water gushing out of it. “I’ll leave you all to it. I got other chores to look after. Apple Bloom, don’t dawdle. As soon as you’re finished head up to the house to help Granny Smith with breakfast. Make sure you wash behind your ears this time. You know Granny will check. If Jake wakes up, you send him on over here to get cleaned up.” Giving Curry a polite nod, Applejack trotted out of the barn.
Curry watched her go, mouth slack in shock. That was it. Applejack wasn’t even going to try and talk her into cleaning herself up. That was messed up. Curry sniffed herself again, and this time wrinkled her nose in distaste. “Oh, man. I can’t go home like this. Fluttershy will think I’m a pig, and not in a good, she is so cute, way.”
Curry looked over at where the three CMC were giggling and making a game out of washing down Apple Bloom. Only, it was more like the three of them were showering together, as the two friends were coming in for their share of getting soaked and soaped. That actually looked like fun. Maybe she should join in? Before she could make up her mind, the trio finished and giving her an apologetic look, trotted out of the barn after Applejack.
That left just Curry and Diamond Tiara alone together in the barn. Curry looked over at where Diamond Tiara was trying to pick up the spurting hose, without actually letting her mouth touch the floor. She wasn’t having a lot of luck. It was the tears of frustration that did Curry in. “Oh, horse apples!” she cursed under her breath and reached behind her to start undoing the fasteners for her body suit.
Curry was under no illusion that being nice to the big fat princess faker would magically turn her into a nice pony. She had encountered far too many ponies back home who would gleefully bite the hand that fed them, and then step on their toes for good measure. It didn’t matter. It just wasn’t in her to ignore a foal who was so woebegone looking. She had to be realistic, however. Given the way the filly had acted so far, it was unlikely she’d accept Curry’s help. Well, she’d just deal with the spoiled bad-tempered pony the same way she dealt with all those bad-tempered spoiled ponies back home. Curry conveniently forgot that in almost all those cases the grooms at the stable had secured those ponies before she’d gone into the stall to give them their makeovers.
***
Diamond Tiara blinked in an effort to clear her blurry vision. This was monstrous. She was being treated like a farm animal. How could they expect her to clean herself in such an exposed and public place! Could anything be more shameful? And those giggling idiots. Debasing themselves, and then acting like it was fun. What else could you expect from a bunch of blank flanks? They were foals, not a sophisticated adult mare like her. She glanced down the spurting hose on the floor, grimacing with distaste. That stupid farm pony had told her that she couldn’t come back into the house till she washed up, and while she had zero interest in entering that plebeian shack, she had even less in staying in this filthy hole of a barn. Once more peeling her lips back, she leaned down to pick up the hose, only to flinch back when it twisted away from her mouth.
“Here, let me give you all a hand,” said a voice right next to her. Diamond Tiara gave a shrill whinny of fear and tried to back right through the stack of hay bales behind her when a paw, that looked more like some sort of deformed albino spider reached into her field of view. Jerking her head up she saw it was the Snipe, who she’d completely forgotten about. The weird creature had discarded her bizarre outer covering and as a result was looking even more freakishly ugly then she had before.
Embarrassment at being startled by the cowardly creature turned to anger. It was all the Snipe’s fault that she was in this horrendous situation. It had trespassed on her family property. It had assaulted Silver Spoon when they tried to detain it. It had pelted her with toxic waste, and then to cap everything, doused her with alcohol. Her anger became a blind rage. Her life was ruined, destroyed, and it was all this smirking creatures fault. Diamond Tiara lunged forward, intending to give the stupid thing a bite she would never forget.
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Luna and Celestia's sprites are hilarious.
&
Such a tease. I cant wait to find out what is causing this.
Twilight and Luna. I figured somepony would make that assumption. And it was Dash, which will probably lead to the most possible amusement.
It's good to see Filthy Rich being a good parent. I liked what we've seen of him in the show and I fell that he doesn't get much credit in fanfiction.
HOLY SHIT WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?!!! I just noticed this is up to 169k words and only covers like a week!
Long story is long.... whelp better read the new chapter now.
3767018 It's his name. Anyone named Filthy has to be 10x as good as most or he's automatically judged by it, by the people who haven't actually seen his appearance.
You know... I think this chapter may just have passed the maximum level of barely-avoided-guaranteed-perfect-opportunity-to-notice-obvious-ponification.
I'd flip a coin as to determine if DT ends up either A: hog-tied in the next few seconds and wondering what exactly just happened, or B: face down in the hay after failing her DEX roll against an alert human experienced in handling horses.
Interesting twist. This story improves with every chapter.
Binge reading mode success. Currently 4 hours 46 minutes until I need to be up. Worth it.
So, Twilight and Luna having the hots for each other? Came from nowhere? I tried to go through their previous interactions and nothing, I can't remember it either and the people over Spacebattles also had no idea why you suddenly decided to ship Luna and Twilight
Could you at least put an explanation of why they are being shipped even though there had never been a hint about it in the entire fic? That was a big stinker over Spacebattles the last time this fic was recc'd
3891542 there were subtle hints, like when Twilight was stargazing at the beginning, and some of Luna's thoughts about Twilight (don't remember where exactly it was)
Cannot resist...
You might want to consult with Charles Xavier in that case. He has experience with mutations related to it.
This is Twilight talking here so I do believe you meant human, as she wasn't there to hear her called a snipe.
Remove the 'll' and replace with ya.
Replace with 'ya'.
This is what I found for chapter 19, part one of camping trip.
9435102
In this case, Snipe is correct because that is what she is afraid the CMC would be talking about, but the description of said snipe would be pure human.
9435102
I'm going to just go with the idea that someone mentioned the whole Snipe thing to Twilight, or she heard Curry refer to herself in that way.
Twilight refers to Curry as a snipe but wasn't around any of those shenanigins. nor did Rainbow mention it.
9598051
Just assume that she learned it off screen.
THe whole thing between Twilight and Luna seems a bit pointless to me. At least it doesn't affect the story s o it's not really a problem. Diamond Tiara seriously underestiimates Curry but Curry isn't being too cautious herself.
9700637
I have gotten some negative feedback on Luna and Twilight, but there are some readers who adore it.
In fairness I dropped a bit of a hint in the very first chapter that Twilight had a lot of admiration for Luna, and that Luna was fond of her.
Maybe Fluttershy could show them a real snipe?
They do exist, after all. Hunting them is where the term "sniper" comes from, to begin with!
audubon.org/sites/default/files/styles/grid_gallery_lightbox/public/Wilson%2527s_Snipe_c27-6-471_l_1.jpg?itok=wBzFX_Ol
Behold, the elusive snipe!
9700696
Silly flak is silly. I saw that lil scene coming long ago; you did telegraph it earlier. It wasn't just out of the blue or nothin'.
...aaand, rope trick in 3... 2... 1...
I spy an extra a.
9784173
Got it. thanks.
Wait what’s Cowhilli supposed to be?
9912095
Swahili?
I’m liking this version of Filthy Rich.