• Member Since 26th Jan, 2012
  • offline last seen Sep 29th, 2015

VashTheStampede


Providing a realistic simulation of life on a natural satellite since 2012

T
Source

Shining Armor and Princess Cadance's wedding didn't exactly go off without a hitch - in more ways than one. But with the day's excitement over, the pair head to the honeymoon suite in Canterlot Castle for a different kind of excitement. However, Princess Cadance has something she needs to tell her husband...

A/N: Started "one-shot" fic, written after reading "Adventures of a Teenage Foalsitter" and realizing there was a decided lack of romantic and knowing/consenting Shining Armor x Queen Chrysalis. The first chapter can be read as a standalone story, but, well I suppose it's obvious, the story does go on.

Chapters (13)
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!
Comments ( 651 )

Come here shining armor come into my arms HA HAHAHAHhahahaHAHAHAHA

So....much.....DAWWWWWWWWWW!

This is... interesting... but that's about it for me.

Adorably romantic and just corny enough to be daw worthy ^^ my hat goes off to you.

IN B4 FEATURED :rainbowkiss:

pretty nice. i've made a short thought to this ship as a test of character. celestia orchestrated the entire thing having told chrysalis the plans before. the marriage would only go through if shining armor and chrysalis was able blow them away.

Interesting concept.

Might be fleshed out better with an additional chapter or something (I felt Shining armor might have accepted too quickly, but that's only my opinion) but it's a pretty nice one-shot nonetheless.

Take four out of five mustaches.
:moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache:

i vote for more. it had one of the best concepts for this kind of story and there's only been a handful of good stories where Chrysalis isn't evil.
stustake.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/Barney-Stinson-Thumbs-up-GIF.gif

Aww, a sweet, honeymoon heart to heart..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oRp_mVi969I

Wat.

Simply because an Alicorn is immortal does not mean that they cannot die or be killed.

im·mor·tal
adjective
1. not mortal; not liable or subject to death

In other words, it's another contradiction! Cadence must be a starburst.

Also, a train accident with Chrysalis just happening to be in the neighborhood at the time of the accident seems pretty lazy, don't you think? One of only 3 alicorns in all of Equestria gets death by train? Meanwhile, the Queen of Changelings happened to be taking her daily stroll by the train tracks while this goes on? I'm not really buying it. I also find myself wondering if Chrysalis was really out in the open in her green Swiss Cheese appearance, or if if she was pretending to be a pony and Cadence either already new her and her secret pony form.

Now that I think about it, a lot about that part didn't make sense to me. Did Cadence meet Chrysalis one day and was like "Yo dawg, you should totally pretend to be me for the rest of your life if I ever die. You seem like a pretty cool guy who doesn't afraid of anything." and then gets hit by the train with Chrysalis being the only witness? There's a lot of things that don't make sense there. With Cadence being royalty and all, Chrysalis would have to be the only witness because her death would be a pretty big deal. And even then that would imply that they hide her death and Chrysalis ends up spending her life pretending to be her while some other dude has to change his gender to pretend to be Chrysalis. But heck, even then, surely the train conductor noticed that he hit somepony when his train gave Cadence her smackdown. Was her death a hit and run? Too many holes with this whole train death thing.

The concept was interesting, but I saw too many plot holes, the "being able to die even though you're immortal" line was a pretty big contradiction, and some of the stuff came across as just odd instead of the D'aww effect it was going for (Chrysalis mentioning catching Shining Armor in the act of fapping would be the best example). Plus, you get extra point off for using a "banished to the moon" joke :ajbemused:

Overall, I'd give it a 1 and a half out of 5. Sorry to sound like the Buzz Killington out of all this praise, but it's my opinion.

Seems at first like a cheap soap opera idea, having a character reveal herself to be someone completely different. But it was pulled off nicely. Another interesting angle on the delivery system of the Changelings' food supply.

1597122
There is Immortal and "Immortal" I guess. I can't think of any word especialy meaning "Not-subject-to-age-or-disease-related-death-but-still-subject-to-accident-and-murder" . Think of Immortal right here as the Highlander kind of immortal. He could have put it like "People think alicorn are immortal but they are just not subject to age , they can still be killed." (or something like that) though.

Concerning the point about Chrysalis walking around in her normal form , I suppose she was under some disguise. The phrase "She saw through me. She saw what I really am" hint that even if she was under a disguise , Cadence saw her true self. The story assume Alicorn possess some kind of power allowing them to see through disguise I think.
I don't think Cadence knew Chysalis before the accident.
I have to agree with you on the whole train thing. This kind of accident is a big deal (Especialy if a royalty is killed) so I would have liked more explaination.
For exemple , how did she hide the body ? ( As Cadence would hardly pass for a bird or some other usual roadkill.Teleportation in a cave maybe ?)
I guess once we know that , we can assume she assumed cadence disguise and found an explaination for the impact (given she was the only witness.)

1597122
1597990
I apologize, I meant immortal in the "will not die naturally" sense. I didn't realize there was a term other than "immortal" that meant that.

Yes, the intention was to imply that Chrysalis was already disguised, possibly out doing some other love-feeding, and that Cadance (and all Alicorns) just know a disguised changeling when they see one (yes, that's taking som liberty from canon, but then again, this whole story is taking liberty from canon). She happened to be the first one on the scene due to freak luck, and noticed that Cadance was among the wreckage. Cadance, in her dying moments, realizes that Chrysalis is perhaps the one being in the world who can simulate her control and knowledge of the power of love, and as such, Cadance asks Chrysalis to assume her form to keep the hearts and minds of the general populace at ease. Granted, she does't have the time to explain this properly to Chrysalis because she's dying. Yes, that does raise the plot-hole of "Where'd the body go?" and I'll admit my fault on that one. In my mind, Chrysalis would have then returned to Canterlot, and either openly admitted the ruse to Celestia and Luna or been found out almost immediately, whereupon she would explain the situation. Celestia and Luna in their great power and knowledge confirm Chrysalis is not lying, and agree to let her fulfill Cadance's dying wish - for Chrysalis to live on, pretending to be the Princess of Love. Perhaps I could have explained further on that part in the story. Point conceded.

And honestly? I just needed to get this out of my system, so I tried to make it a little corny and cheesy (no pun intended) at some parts. It wasn't meant to be a top-tier fic, just a little thing to get the creative juices flowing after coming to a standstill on my other story.

1598302 It DOES take some pretty big contradictions to canon considering Celestia and Luna had gender swapped dude pretending to be Chrysalis acting as Cadence with them for weeks and didn't know a thing while the real Chrysalis pretending to be Cadence was trapped. That's also another thing that has me scratching my head. Surely real Chrysalis would have known it was fake Chrysalis since she was kind of the one to put him in charge. Why wouldn't she be like: "Dude, I'm kind of getting hitched in a few weeks here. Go absorb love from the Griffon kingdom or something."
Then again, maybe he went through with the plan to get back at Chrysalis for making him have to turn into a girl.

I also still have irks about the train scene despite the explanation on some of the things (the no mention of the ponies controlling/on board the train not noticing they hit somepony being one of the main ones) but I'll digress.

Anyway, I can understand just wanting to do a story for the heck of it. I just felt like giving you some things to think on so you can have plot points like this in mind when you make something more serious.

1601145
Yeah, I'll concede the part about Celestia and Luna not realizing it was a fake fake-Cadance. I was also thinking that Chrysalis had basically left the hive in the hooves of her second in command, and no longer had connections or knowledge of what was going on, and, in the seventeen year gap, it would be perfectly logical for the faux-Chrysalis to assume at some point that Chrysalis actually wasn't coming back, and hence, he wouldn't know that it was Chrysalis' wedding he was crashing, and Chrysalis wouldn't know he was coming.

My idea was that Cadance was ON the train, though, not hit by it.

Other than that, though... yep.

Great! :scootangel: Now make a TwilightxChrysalis and a NightmareMoonxTwilight!!! :twilightangry2::twilightangry2::twilightangry2::pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy::flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage:

1598302
I prefer "ageless", to "immortal" when you're dealing with ancient beings who can still be physically killed.
Just throwin' that out there:twilightblush:

All in all I really liked the story.
Some weird part of me really loves ChrysalisXShining fics and I have no idea whydl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/shrug_Twilight_Sparkle.png

What if the Changeling attack on Canterlot was a plot between Chrysalis and Cadence (or Chrysalis and acting queen), to feed the starving swarm with the love blast from the start?

1606585 Then its all one big Mindfuck :pinkiecrazy:

1598302 This is indeed the correct use of the term in the original (Greek) definition.

Immortality
noun

the ability to live forever; eternal life:

No Greek deity was mortal, by definition, but many died - it's that it had to be through violence. Similarly, Tolkein's Elves are immortal. They die on the battlefield, or through violence, disease, or through choice - but not through age.
And since the mythology used in MLP is primarily greek (dragons, pegasi, unicorns, griffins, hydras, the literal Greek Tartarus...) it's actually the most appropriate term.
The term that the others may be thinking of is closer to invulnerable - though, again, it's not quite right. We don't really have a term for "unkillable but still susceptible to wounds" because wounds are, well, what kill people...

Enjoyable read with an interesting premise. Thumbs-up!

Kinda cheesy...swiss even...but I've read worse.

1602000
If I can come up with a premise, I will gladly write other cheesy one-shot romance fics. I had fun writing this, and it's gotten a largely positive response. It also took me almost no time to write (I'm pretty sure this one went from conception of idea to finished product in less than an hour). However, I do need to come up with a just-barely-plausible, unusual premise (like what I'd like to believe I did here) before I go into either of those.

1602875
Perhaps "ageless" would have been the better term. I'll keep that in mind for future fics.

1606585
Plausible, but I guarantee you that was not what I had in mind :P

1615222
That was the goal. So I consider this a success if you consider it cheesy :D

There is immortal and invincible.

Great story. It would be interesting to see what happens to them after this. Like what happens when the servants walk in in the morning and find Shining in bed with the Changeling Queen... :pinkiecrazy: So yeah. A continuation would be awesome.

Ageless is a good word for the Alicorns in this. I kinda subscribe to that idea myself. Then again, I've also got crazy things like Ahuizotl as the main villain and stuff.

Anyway, great fic. Oh, and your full name wouldn't happen to be Valentinez Alkalinella Xifax Sicidabohertz Gombigobilla Blue Stradivari Talentrent Pierre Andri Charton-Haymoss Ivanovici Baldeus George Doitzel Kaiser III, would it? dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Twilight_Sparkle_lolface.png

1619544
I... umm... no?

I'm glad you like the story but I believe whatever reference you made just went completely over my head.

1620401 Sorry. Got a bit carried away with that. It was a quote from Trigun. Vash introduced himself to Wolfwood as that(the really long name) then whined when Millie called him Vash the Stampede cause he hated being called by his full name.

1620681
Ah. I haven't watched Trigun in a while. Might have to go through it again at some point.

1615563 So you want premises? Here, have a premise. In fact, have all the premises! Which, unfortunately, are equal to one and one alone.


Luna was Chrysalis all along. She's desperately in love with Shining Armor, and that fat bitch Cadence stole him from right under her hooves! Meanwhile, Sweetie Belle is a changeling who impersonates Rarity's non-existent younger sister in order to get free love. She's currently starving to death. Also, Twilight doesn't know what Ultimate Frisbee is. All of these things are connected.

I like it for now, it seems a little off at times in the sense of realism so I’d recommend going over it and refining it a bit more but otherwise I’ll be keeping an eye on it…
You are doing more right? The concept has quite a bit of potential and I’ve been itching for a Shining/Chrysalis story that isn’t some tragic prologue to the wedding making revenge the motive for targeting them.

Made some minor edits - changed the thing Cadance caught Shining doing, filled in a few plot holes and clarified some stuff. Nothing major.

Feel free to just sit there and think more often, if stuff like this comes out of it! I had been hoping on this fic having a continuation!:twilightsmile:

write more please

You. Must. Not. Let. This. Die. While there is probably similar fics, I've never encountered one and I'm sure any others would pale in comparison.:pinkiehappy:

its a nice story. good plot to it. its interesting. keep going with it.

I look forward to more of this story.

Cool story dude! Pls continue!:pinkiehappy:

......the main picture for the story looks like your account picture....

Wait, what? I love it when a one-shot turns into a multi-chapter story! Sweet! Epic! Have a song!

This intrigues me. Keep going...

Edit: Now that I have gotten my lazy bum around to it you can either disregard this comment or my previous one. Heck, you could keep them both, I simply insist that there be more.

1594716 Dude, you seriously just went there?!
:rainbowlaugh: That made me laugh out loud, for srs.

Login or register to comment
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!