Chapter 11
“What do you mean you can’t?” Shining Armor asked nervously, just a trace of laughter in his voice. Not a happy laugh. A scared laugh. The laugh of a pony who did not know how to cope with what was to come.
“I mean…” Chrysalis trailed off, screwing her eyes shut in concentration. The only result was another puff of green flame, with no change to her form. “I mean what I said. I can’t transform. I… what are we going to do? Shiny?” Chrysalis was beginning to hyperventilate, her eyes widening as she backed up, as though trying to escape herself. All things indicating the first stages of a mare having a panic attack.
And panicking is never the best course of action, Twilight thought to herself, focusing everything on her breathing. In through the nose, out through the mouth. In through the nose, out through the mouth, right, not panicking. Step 2, make sure no one else panics. How do I keep Chrysalis from panicking? With my brother. That’s how.
“Shining,” Twilight said, stepping towards her brother and placing a hoof on his broad shoulder, “Go to her. Calm her down. I’ll have Spike send another letter to Celestia, we can figure this out. There’s no need for the world to come crashing down today. We’re in Ponyville, the universe decides to let that happen here often enough. Not today. You hear me, BBBFF? We are not going to have an incident today.”
Shining Armor gulped and nodded. He recognized the tone she was using, it was something he had playfully dubbed ‘The Voice’ years ago, after having been convinced out of his dessert for a week. A commanding tone. He did not have to be told twice. Stumbling on his own hooves for a moment, he trotted across the room.
Chrysalis had since backed into a corner, eyes darting around to every possible entrance to the library, scanning for intruders or spies. Finding none in one location only brought her eyes to the next, the cycle repeating, her gaze not lingering longer than a second or two on any one opening. When her husband approached her, she turned to him, but did not see him. Her multi-layered green eyes were unfocused, staring at some unknown point on the wall behind Shining.
“Chrysalis, snap out of it!” He urged, placing his forehooves on her shoulders, and shaking his wife gently. Failing to break her catatonic state, he pulled her into a hug. “Chrysalis, my love, it’s ok. It doesn’t matter if you can’t transform. We’ll figure something out. My sister is here, and the Princesses want to help us. We can handle this. Chrysalis…” Shining Armor kissed his wife, gently, on the nose. She blinked once, twice, and shook her head.
“Shining, I’m sorry, I just…”
“Shh, it’s ok. You’re scared. It’s ok to be scared right now. But we need to not panic. Twilight will think of something, right Twiley?” Shining said, looking over his wife’s shoulder at his sister, his tone an odd mixture of instruction and pleading.
“Right. Of course I will. I saved your marriage once, I’ll do it again if I have to,” Twilight replied, nervousness just barely showing through a determined voice.
“Oh, Twilight,” Spike piped up, “I think there’s a letter coming…”
The little dragon belched, a puff of light green fire evaporating into a neatly wrapped piece of parchment with the royal seal on it. Spike caught the scroll before it hit the ground, rushing over to Twilight and presenting it to her. She hastily unbound the note, beginning to read aloud.
“My Most Faithful Student, her newlywed brother, and my beloved Niece, I think I may have solved one of our problems. I have drafted a law that would retroactively nullify all Guard orders issued under the influence of alcohol. It seems a reasonable law in general, and would go a long way towards fixing our current issue. While I do hold the power to pass laws as I bid it, it is considered proper political etiquette to converse with my sister on the subject. While she will not be happy to be awoken at ‘the ridiculous hour of eight thirty in the morning,’ as she will phrase it, I’m willing to risk the wrath of a disgruntled Luna to help you in your time of need. This law should be in effect by tomorrow. Your mentor and friend, Princess Celestia,” Twilight finished, a small smile having spread across her face. The news was good, yes, and one less problem was always a good thing. However, the issue of Chrysalis being permanently herself vastly overshadowed this small victory.
“Well that’s good,” Spike said, the pitch of his voice rolling as he questioned, “isn’t it?”
A brief silence reigned in the room, before Twilight responded to her assistant. “Yes, Spike, it is a good thing, as Shining Armor is now back in command of the Guard again, and can call off the hunt for Chrysalis,” Twilight said, trotting over to the little purple dragon, rubbing the top of his head with her hoof, “but now, since Chrysalis can’t transform, we have a slightly bigger problem. Do you feel up to writing another letter to the Princess?” Spike nodded, producing a quill and a piece of parchment from seemingly nowhere.
“Of course, Twilight. Anything you need,” he said, bowing comically low.
Twilight chuckled, and looked over at her brother, who was still holding Chrysalis tightly, gently rocking the larger changeling back and forth in his hooves. The black mare was hugging her husband tightly, clinging to as much of him as she could, as though afraid at any moment he might be ripped away from her, a waking nightmare far too close to becoming reality if the group didn’t play their cards just right.
“Dear Princess Celestia,” she began dictating, taking solace in the subtle scratching noises of the quill, “On behalf of my family, I thank you sincerely for making such sacrifices for our sake, and I doubly thank your sister. However, a rather unfortunate development has occurred. I urge you to be seated before reading on. Princess, Chrysalis’ changeling powers have failed completely. She finds herself no longer able to transform or disguise herself at all. Chrysalis is understandably distressed, however,” Twilight took another glance at the couple, and, observing Chrysalis’ slowly loosening grip, “Shining Armor seems to have the situation under control. Your input and assistance would be greatly appreciated. Your faithful student, Twilight Sparkle.”
An unspoken confirmation passed between unicorn and dragon, and Spike gently blew the letter into ash.
“Alright everypony, I think the best plan right now would be to go to Zecora’s,” Twilight said after a moment. “She just… knows things sometimes. Spike, can you stay here in case anypony shows up while we’re out?”
“Of course, Twilight!” Spike’s reply was characteristically enthusiastic, even if the little dragon did like doing things besides what Twilight told him to. Still, Twilight was thankful that the dragon at least pretended to love doing almost anything for her.
“Thank you, Spike. Shining Armor, Chrysalis, are you ready to go?”
Shining Armor nodded. “Chrysalis is still a little nervous, but I’ll be there. It sounds kinda arrogant saying that,” he said, with a small laugh, “but I think you know what I mean.”
“I do, brother.”
With a flash of purple light and a small pop, the trio disappeared, leaving Spike alone in the library.
---
The trio reappeared outside the small hut, golden sunlight trickling faintly through the treetops of the Everfree. Without hesitation, Twilight ran forward and opened the door, memories of her last unannounced entry to the zebra’s abode being the only thing that kept her from yelling out her friend’s name.
Zecora was in a familiar position, balanced upside-down on a bamboo staff, meditating as some brew slowly bubbled away in the cauldron. Zecora opened her eyes and smiled, even if her upside-down form made the expression a frown. She was glad to see Twilight, she always was – the purple unicorn’s thirst for knowledge was something Zecora was always willing to do her best to slake. Expertly dismounting her staff, the zebra had soon righted herself, and walked over to greet her friend.
“Twilight! So good of you to come to talk! Though, would it have killed you to knock?” Zecora asked, throwing in a smile at the end that she hoped would key Twilight in to her sarcastic tone. “Please, come in, tell me how you’ve been.”
“Oh, I’m so sorry Zecora, I really am. We have a problem right now, though, one that perhaps only you can solve,” Twilight answered, her voice rushed, “Shining, Chrysalis, come on.”
Zecora looked around Twilight to see Chrysalis still tightly pressed against her husband, the nervous changeling’s eyes still darting around, although at a much slower rate. Shining Armor began to slowly walk forward, and the green orbs in Chrysalis’ head latched on to him, and she lowered herself to walk alongside him. Zecora thought for a moment, stepping to the side to allow her friend’s family entrance to her home, before speaking.
“Oh, queen Chrysalis? Why do you come to me looking like this?”
Being addressed directly seemed to snap her out of her daze, and Chrysalis stood higher, returning to her full height.
“I… yes, sorry. This is the problem, you see. I have… lost the ability to transform, completely. I can’t use my changeling powers anymore.”
“This is something you did not expect?” Zecora replied, “Your husband’s love is hardly in check.”
“I… well… I suppose not, but still, I thought those were just legends,” Chrysalis responded, casting her gaze to her husband. This loving, caring, amazing, handsome pony who I hardly deserve and would do anything for me…
“So of the legend you already knew, but you did not suspect it of being true?”
“I… no, I really didn’t.”
Zecora put a hoof to her chin, thinking, humming softly to herself.
“Zecora, is there anything you can do?” Twilight asked, quietly, hoping she wasn’t being rude.
“I know of no potions, spells, or brews that anything about this can do. My only suggestion for you now, is decide when to tell, not how.”
“You think we should go public,” Shining Armor thought aloud, his voice working over the words as he spoke. “Chrysalis, do you think…”
“I want to, love, I really do,” she said, bending down to nuzzle him.
“Equestria cannot be kept from the truth,” Zecora said, breaking the temporary silence, “How long can you prevent ponies from playing sleuth?”
“I… I don’t know,” Shining Armor sighed, eyes falling to his own forehooves, searching for an answer. “I swore I’d protect you from anything, and that I’d be with you forever, Chrysalis. If you want to tell Equestria, I will support you in that decision, and I will not leave you, not for anything, not for anypony. I love you.”
“I love you too, Shiny… I… I think we should.”
“Then we can. Miss Zecora, I’m sorry we wasted your time requesting that potion for Chrysalis’ voice, it seems we won’t be needing it.”
“Do not be afraid, Shining Armor, to tell the world how much you love her.”
Shining Armor smiled, and, after a brief moment of hesitation, stepped forward and hugged the zebra.
“Thank you.”
“Twilight, should we go back to the Library now?”
“Yeah, I think we should. Sorry about this, Zecora,” Twilight said apologetically, a light blush creeping onto her cheeks. Zecora merely smiled and nodded, chuckling quietly to herself as the trio disappeared in a flash of purple lightning.
---
“P-p-princess Celestia?” Twilight stammered as the light faded from her recent teleportation.
“In the flesh,” the solar princess said with a smile. “Honestly, Twilight, you send me a letter telling me that two ponies I care very deeply for are hitting a massive bump in their relationship with my country, and then you leave before I can respond? I thought you knew me better than that.”
“I… I’m sorry, Princess,” Twilight said, “I have no excuse.”
“Twilight, my most faithful student… you never were very good at knowing when I was kidding about something. I am merely concerned,” Celestia explained, her voice as caring and motherly as ever. Twilight looked up, a slight embarrassed blush coming to her face as her mouth formed a little ‘o.’ “So, Chrysalis, would you like me to teach you an illusion spell now?”
Chrysalis looked at her husband, and nodded to each other.
“No.”
Celestia raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean, ‘no’?”
“I mean precisely what I have said, Princess. I do not desire for you to teach me an illusion spell, for I have no desire to return to the form of ‘Princess Cadance.’ Her appearance served me well, as one way to say it, for many years. Now, though… now is no longer a time for deception. Shining Armor and I wish to inform the public of my true nature, and both of us are willing to accept the full consequences that that act may entail,” Chrysalis said, her voice stern, masking the fear she felt.
“Is that so,” Celestia said, clearly not asking a question. She furrowed her brow, placing one golden-shod hoof to her forehead.
“And this is what you two truly desire?”
“It is, your highness,” Shining Armor said, kneeling.
The great white Alicorn sighed.
“So be it. If you return with me to Canterlot, you can make the announcement tomorrow. I do not think it is the best decision to make, but I will not disallow it.”
“Thank you, your highness.”
“Good luck, BBBFF. I love you,” Twilight added.
“I love you too, Twiley,” Shining Armor said, before the Captain, the changeling, and the Princess disappeared in a golden flash.
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First!
I love this! Looking forward to next chapter!
one of the best ships i have ever read
MOAR!
Tense issue, should be kissed. Will Edit when I finish reading.
EDIT - Only mistake I saw that stood out to me.
Great chapter, and an interesting twist of developments. Wonder how ponies are going to take it that their lovely Princess Cadance has been Chrysalis this whole time. Inevitable shitstorm, incoming!
Good job, Vash, looking forward to the next chapter.
List of things that won't end will
Mass Effect 3
Obama's second term
This
Yay, update! And a new direction for the story? A full public outing? You have my attention.
2209010
I blame the fact that the 's' key and 'd' key are right next to each other. Thanks for the catch.
Watch this all end well for everyone. And then everyone fucks.
2209109
If writing fanfiction was that easy, we'd be asking Applejack to do it.
i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/263/914/ede.jpg
Ah teleportation. Really useful, like getting changeling queens from getting discovered and mauled.
2209368
No, it's actually "my subjects and I"
2209368
2209607
I'm personally a little fuzzy on this one. I was told a while back to read the line, remove the "____ and" part, and see whether "I" or "me" made more sense. However, aside from that, I've been raised my whole life that it is always, 100% of the time, "____ and I." I'll leave it as it is for now.
2209090
No problem at all. Only stood out to me because usually your writing is pretty much technically perfect. Silly S and D keys.
I think this is this only blatant romance in my list of favorites, which almost 200 items long due to the number of stories I track.
>>>Shining Armor gulped and nodded. He recognized the tone she was using, it was something he had playfully dubbed ‘The Voice’ years ago,>>>
*GASP!!* Twilight can use The Voice!!!!
fc01.deviantart.net/fs71/i/2013/029/8/d/princess_twilight_muad_dib_by_pixelkitties-d5t6t0r.png
(Trolololo! Muwah ha ha ha ha!)
2210477
I won't say I regret continuing it, but I do feel the first chapter was the best.
2209028 Why the downvotes? Everybody knows that communism always fails. XD
2211222 Är det så?
Please note this is going to be usual long comment/ criticism/ analysis. The tl;dr version- This chapter sucks (insert whatever betrayal joke you want to here).
If I may paraphrase redlettermedia for a moment, "The writer ruins the tension and the story all in one scene."
This is as bad or at least on the same level as this. I'm being serious. This one thing, the fact that Celestia can just pass a law nullifying any action taken by those under her, ruins the story's conflict, tension, and everything. All the character moments I pointed out in the last comment, have been rendered either null or having less impact because of this one scene. When I read that bit, I immediately stopped reading and stopped caring right there. I know I was warned that it would have a happy ending, but to kill one of the big reasons why our characters change at the same time, seems so horribly wrong. Maybe I'm looking at this the wrong way, maybe I'm misunderstanding this, so let's look at what the line means. Well, for starters it gives Celestia the power to override Shining Armor's orders, why she would need to pass a law to do this when she herself is his superior, is a mystery to me. It also indirectly gives Chrysalis a pardon and removes her status as public enemy number one while simultaneously saying that Chrysalis isn't all that bad. Okay, that seems reasonable, after all it's not like Celestia said that for good reasons she couldn't do that.
Oh, wait, I guess she did that didn't she.
See kids, this is what we like to call lying or what politicians like Bill Clinton (come one, I had to) like to call telling a half truth, or bending the facts to suit ones goals (i.e. the snake oil salesman pitch). Not only are we left with the knowledge that Celestia said she couldn't do this but does so anyway and as such is a liar and her word is not to be trusted, but we are also left with the horrible question of if she could do this, just simply pass a law forcing people to accept this Chrysalis as being the real one while at the same time being Princess Cadence, why didn't she do that before Shining Armor got drunk and made bad decisions? The entire plot of Chrysalis revealing herself to her family and them accepting them and then having Equestria accepting her after their invasion could have been solve in about a chapter or two with this new revelation. It's like the situation with Tom Bombadil in the Lord of the Rings series. Him taking the ring and not being affected after just building up the consequences of what would happen if anyone had the ring completely, ruined all tension for not just the situation but the story itself as we are now wondering why he didn't just take it to Mordor instead of Frodo. My point is that this scene ruins all the build up that we've had for SA and Chrysalis' situation. It takes an otherwise tense situation and matter and trivializes it by solving it with a simple hand wave. Making the sacrifice and hardship all those involved endure a complete waste of time. Great job, everyone, you've just wasted your time on something completely arbitrary. What happens if somepony else like the CMC, Diamond Tiara, Big Mac, or Discord for that matter get into trouble? Is Celestia going to just pardon them of their troubles because somepony pled their case to Twilight and she spoke on their behalf to Celestia? Sure, the law is passed with the thought of handling an extraordinary situation, but the fact is that this law undermines itself in the way it could be used in the future. We now have a precedent for future generations for a "get out of jail/punishment/bad decision making free card". Moreover, the fact that Celestia does this for the military says bad things about their military. I always was under the impression that military service men or law enforcement of any kind wouldn't follow the drunken decisions of their commanders like being ordered to run through an active minefield while holding live hand grenades. Or at the very least question those orders with someone whose mind isn't muddled at the moment. I thought all of that was understood as being in the realm of common sense. If that's not the case and drunken orders are to be followed, then we are all just one heavy drinking game away from the President launching a nuke at Europe or Russia and starting WWIII. A better handling of this scene would have been Celestia calling all the guards for a meeting, telling them that she is now heading up the investigation, and having them bring them in hold a trial where Chrysalis reveals everything to everyone (while carefully glossing over Celestia's role in all this) and Celestia passes judgment on Chrysalis and Chrysalis alone. With that we still have Celestia letting her go but for a much better reason, she might even give her a punishment or two, nothing too severe just enough to convince the nay (pun intended) sayers that she's doing her job, and we still get our happy ending but without killing the whole story. Or if she doesn't want to do that just simply tell them that the drunken orders of their superior officer should never be followed if they are lacking in rational sense (i.e. don't follow drunken orders). Then you could still have her reveal the truth to everyone while resolving the problem and the tension associated with it. The unfortunate reality is that it's too late to try and re-close Pandora's Box and edit this as the damage has already been done. It would just add artificial tension back to the situation. The only way to salvage it as it stands would be for Luna to say no to passing the law and even then it would feel cheap as there would be little reason for her to say no. I've gone on long enough about this one scene so let's look at some of the others.
Zecora's scene was practically pointless when you consider that she didn't really have a cure for them other than for them to tell the truth. If that was the case, why not say or suggest that from the start, then we don't have to go through all the misunderstandings and issues associated with the story. This also holds true for Celestia suggesting that she could give them an illusion spell. If she's had that from the beginning why not suggest it to them before now, like when Twilight found out or after Cadence died if only as a "use in case of emergency" kind of thing. While we run the risk of convenience later when her magic fails, at least its better than bringing it up now when it's no longer useful. If it's supposed to be a moment where the characters realize that the easy way out isn't the best way to solve our problems, that's been ruined thanks to Celestia's "OBEY" ability that she can just use at anytime she feels like it. Before I conclude let me just say that I don't mind happy endings, in fact I prefer them over sad or tragic ones, provided that they are reasonable, not forced, or fitting with the story and it's tone. We have enough depressing things in everyday life so something that isn't sad or tragic is a welcome even if it is in a fictional story.
Overall, this chapter feels like a complete betrayal. Everything that has happened--all the character moments with Twilight convincing her friends, of Shining Armor convincing Twilight and standing up for his wife and professing his undying love, of Mrs. Sparkle going to Celestia and finding out the truth, of Celestia being a politician and letting them solve their own problem, going to Zecora, finding out about the Changeling mythos--all of that has now been ruined or having less meaning by this one arbitrary decision. This a betrayal to the readers, the people who have defended this story, to those who have followed it from the beginning, to even those who have yet to read it as everything that happens really has no meaning since there was never anything to really fear at the end. I'm probably overreacting a bit but at the end of the day, this story feels arbitrary now; which is sad because I liked this idea that Chrysalis is really Cadence as it has some plausibility when you consider the accusations Twilight levied at Cadence at the end of the first part of the "Canterlot Wedding" (and by that I mean I can read that reveal, see the character's resulting actions, and not be bothered by it). At this point, I may or may not read the big dumb sappy ending (unless this is the ending). If I do, I'll comment as usual but also include a review for the story as a whole, if not then consider this my review for the whole thing. It has a good idea, premise, and first few chapters with touching moments here and there that can make you go all misty eyed. However, that is all ruined with the reveal that Celestia can just erase our problems away with indirect or direct law making decisions. I feel like a big idiot for all the things I said in the previous chapter as they no longer have the same weight or meaning and I hope I'm overreacting. If not.....
2212005
I think you slightly misinterpreted the intent in both quotes. In the letter from Celestia in the previous chapter, Princess Sunbutt meant that giving an order or passing a law that literally stated "Queen Chrysalis is no longer a fugitive" would raise suspicions, whereas "Anything my commander said while drunk is null and void" is much less incriminating. The way I intended it, Celestia would be a liar if she said that in her letter then issued a command or passed a law clearing the most-wanted list. As it stands, it would hardly be likely that this one incident at the wedding night would be the first or last case of an officer getting drunk and issuing an order he wasn't quite intending or was a stupid order to issue, and I don't picture SA as having been completely smashed, just slightly intoxicated, and as such it may have been difficult to tell how intoxicated he was, and at the time his orders made sense. After all, that was the same night as the first chapter. My goal of Celestia passing that law was to say, "Oh look, here's something that will be nice to have in general that conveniently assists SA and Chrysalis," which, from her current position, is the best she could do. Additionally, I wasn't sure how to write this into the story, but I headcanon that Celestia holds absolute power in her government and can, for the most part, issue commands and laws as she pleases. If something she says hurts somepony or their lifestyle, they can go to her and request it be repealed, which she most often does. Trying to weave that into the story would have felt too much like sticking exposition into the buildup to the climax. The Guard would still seek out Shining Armor to ask him to re-issue the commands related to the location and capture of Chrysalis now that he's sober and that makes sense.
As for the Zecora scene and Celestia's illusory magic, well, Zecora was working on a cure for Chrysalis' voice problems at the time, and did not know her powers had failed to a greater extent. The visit was intended to say, "Look, Miss Zecora, we now have a bigger problem than Chryssy's voice, do you have a solution?" Seeing as Zecora didn't, they left, with the zebra bidding them admit the truth before someone else finds out. I admit the scene is short and choppy, and that's largely because writing dialogue for Zecora is a huge pain, and her sitting there quietly the whole time would have been weird. Celestia's illusion magic was already stated to be a last resort, and the option has been available the entire time. Chrysalis and SA have simply been unable to return to Celestia and Celestia has not gone to them since... a couple days ago at least in the story's timeline. In fact, I don't believe they've met with Celestia since her telling them she could use illusion magic if Chrysalis' disguise failed further. Which, now it has, so Celestia offered her assistance, and it was turned down.
Comments like this are why I'm seriously reconsidering how I'm going to end this story (it will have at least two endings, possibly three). I want to write what I want, but I'm afraid so many people are going to be like this, saying that I completely ruined the story. I may very well put this on hiatus while I figure out an ending that most would deem "better."
Commence read.
Looks like they're going for it.
2212215
Listen. Don't let criticism stop you from writing. Yes, criticism is good. Yes, you should absolutely take it into account when you're writing, especially if they're giving you ways to improve. But, and this is a big but, don't let them stop you. You are the author. Not them. You're writing this your way, and allowing others to see it. We're not paying for seeing your work. If we don't like the way you end it, we'll tell you, but ultimately, the story is yours. It's still far better than a lot of the stories even on this site.
Personally, I liked Celestia pulling. Celestia is the beloved ruler of the country, has been so for the past thousand years, and is essentially a living goddess. Even if she's not technically allowed to simply ram legislation through, if she suggests and supports a certain law, anypony that didn't pass that would probably be looking at political suicide.
Now, that's not going to stop ponies from being suspicious or afraid- look at what happened with Luna, and she doesn't even look like Nightmare Moon. But it'll keep her out of the dungeons.
2209708 In the bit that was quoted, it should definitely be "me and my subjects". I know of what I speak.
2212005 Wow... what. Celestia's problem isn't that she can't pass laws as she wants; legally I'm sure she had the authority. The problem is with the public reaction, so sometimes she needs to be rather subtle about her orders so as not to cause panic or uproar. Celestia's actions seem perfectly reasonable to me, and it's hardly a story-breaker. It's the resolution of one minor thread in a very tangled web. The story's not over.
the only thing that needs to be heard from me is that disallow sounds weird. I know it's a real word, but it just rubs me the wrong way, a lot more than forbid. I don't expect you to take this advice, but still. grr.
Wait, they're going to reveal a secret to the entire population of racist ponies who overreact to everything?
Not sure if this or just this.
The shits hitting the fan.
2209607 Do you even grammar?
2214761
All joking aside, the public reaction is a issue that Chrysalis has to deal with not Celestia. Just like Luna had to deal with everyone still seeing her as Nightmare Moon and having repair her image despite Celestia claiming her as her sister and co-ruler, Chrysalis would have to do the same thing. Celestia's a big mare; she probably views negative public opinion like most of us view a yapping dog, a nuisance for a while but fades away the moment something more interesting comes up. That's isn't to say she would ignore it completely; but given how long she's been alive, probably views it with a grain of salt (i.e if it works smile, if not shrug do some quick damage control then go about her day). So when I say this law removes the tension that's part of what I mean, that any and all problems are only problems in the mind of the individual person or being. In short, public reaction is an issue of the individual not the law maker, unless the law maker makes it an issue for themselves through their own action or inaction. To avoid semantics, it's not an issue for this story; at least not any more (if she wants to get petty she could use the three-year-old logic, "You have to do as I say because I'm the princess and you're not and if you have a problem with that deal with it 
" and while I doubt she would verbally stoop to that level this law pretty much does that just in a much nicer way). 
)
Yes, this is your story (no FFX jokes please), yes I criticized something about this story, its the job of the active reader to point out things that sound strange or odd or flat out just don't work. I can only see what is there on paper and judge that, I have no knowledge of the grand design when reading at the time so no need to get down about harsh criticism. It's par for the course, I'm only harsh because I care (it happens to us all), if didn't I would have quit reading a loooooooong time ago. What you have here in this chapter is something that I personally dislike, and judging from everyone else's reaction I'm in the vocal minority. Also, I'm not so narcissistic as to demand change for story elements that I personally don't agree with (unless its grammar, misspellings and things of that nature, in which case I'll highlight those and have good teasing fun at your expense). At the end of the day, it's something that I have to deal with not you. In short, no falling on your sword/pen...at least not yet. To get my Baneism out of the way, "when your story....has failed....and your fans and readers abandon you...only then...will I let you fall on your sword/pen".
I am aware of that. Public reaction is bound to happen and given the wonderful reactions of everyone previous, I'm sure the rest of the citizens will be just as rational minded and take the new found knowledge of the fact that they have been duped for seventeen years with the greatest of understanding.
2212215
First off, "Princess Sunbutt" that had me laughing, props.
Okay, to carefully explain my comments while addressing yours. (It's long but I couldn't think of anyway to shorten it without something getting lost in the process, please don't hate me
1. If some how you took my comment as to be fanboy rage and desire for a different ending...I am sorry for that is not the intention.
2. Yes, the law still does affect the tension good and bad (mostly bad) and hurts the story. No, you don't have to rewrite this, I'm just saying as to why it possibly doesn't work well.
a) There are two ways in which laws work (I'm aware that there are more but for simplicity's sake there are two) implicit (what is implied) and explicit (what is actually there). The original reason was explicit, she can't write a law that directly pardon's Chrysalis because bad things happen. However, a broad law that happens to work in their favor, while functional still weakens the tension by making the original problem of her enemy of the state status a non factor in the eyes of the law. How? Well, to do that she has to give herself power to override Prince Myshkin's decision. His orders are the capture order of Chrysalis, orders he gives while under the influence. How much is irrelevant, as the general rule when orders are given while the individual giving them is under any form of debilitating substance those orders are either questioned or ignored until they can be confirmed with someone of a sound mind. Regardless of how much he drank, legal or otherwise, his orders should have been questioned first before blindly following them. All of that is hindsight and nothing can be done now. Bringing it back to the law in question, when Celestia passes this law she is explicitly overriding his orders but implicitly overriding Chrysalis' enemy of the state status. This is good in the sense that we solve the problem via loop hole in logic. This is bad because the reason for it is only for one specific individual and once created has bad implications for the future. Implicitly what that law also says is that "I, Princess Sunbutt, now have the power to overwrite any decision made by my guards that I disagree with" (there are positives and negatives associated with this and I won't waste your time listing them). It is also saying that if someone gets into trouble with the law I can pass a law that frees them of punishment. This is logically a sound idea, dramatically it undermines both the tension and the plot. In one of the weirdest things, sometimes something that is perfectly logical has to be ignored for the sake of preserving the plot. You do this already with the guards blindly following orders despite common sense telling them to ask if they should follow the orders of their captain after being under the influence of both alcohol and being in a public situation. To avoid telling you what to do, this idea, that Celestia is basically writing a law allowing herself to do something that she already has the power to do is very inadvisable (i.e. stupid). This removes the tension because now the question arises if Celestia has had this power the whole time why not do it at the start before things get complicated (ignorance is bliss is no excuse when it comes to law makers)? This becomes even more complicated when you consider the fact that she's now leading the guards since Myshkin is on leave and as such her orders are now law and she should have known any and all outstanding orders ahead of time, etc. I digress there. The point is the law significantly undermines the plot and the drama relating to it.
b) The other effect that this has is it severely weakens your version of Celestia as a character. She's a politician and from what we have seen thus far is not an authoritarian. She would rather let the ponies solve the problems themselves unless it is something that they themselves cannot possibly handle. If I may be so bold as to borrow a couple of examples from the show (technically this door was opened when the story decided to include part of the plot/events of the show so it also inherits everything that goes with it, itty-bitty living space included). One example, when Nightmare Moon shows up Celestia could have conceivably held her down with her own magic, sat on her back while constantly flicking Nightmare Moon's horn so she can't concentrate on counter-spells and calmly waited for Twilight to return with the Elements of Harmony and then have Nightmare Moon taste the power of the rainbow. Or she could have just out right told Twilight "in order to summon the Elements of Harmony you need to make five friends which in turn would let you beat Nightmare Moon." She could have conceivably done all of those but instead she let's someone else do it to prove that there are things that the ponies can do if that do not require her complete and total help. She may have absolute power in terms of the law but she doesn't need to exercise them. Another example, is both Discord and Sombra. She could have conceivably gone to the Crystal Empire with Luna or gone herself and nuked Sombra back into his Wompa hole. The same with Discord, when they set him free again, she could have conceivably stayed there for two seconds, used the forced reformation spell that Twilight wanted to use on him and forced him to be a force of good. In both instances, she let's someone else handle the problem not her (and before someone brings up the dignitary thing with Discord it would have taken less time for her to do that than it would to go back to the castle). However, if we want to restrict ourselves to stuff that happened before season three..."Fall Weather Friends", she could have knocked down all the remaining leaves, "The Sonic Rainboom" she could have caught Rarity as she was falling to the ground, "Winter Wrap Up", she can supersede Ponyville tradition, and melt all the snow and ice herself (because she is the law and its been established that she is just that powerful). My point is that in all of those instances and more she could have taken matters into her own hooves and handled the situation but didn't. She gave just enough for the ponies to do it themselves. In this story's case, she starts off doing that but then in this chapter completely takes that away by getting involved legally. While it does follow the pattern initially, it stops when the law does the work for them. Them going public at this point is a formality as there is no punishing legal repercussions that could result if they do. What does this mean for Sunbutt, she caved and if she can cave over something that is easily handled by looking the other way--forgiving Chrysalis of her actions while showing understanding as to why she did them while at the same time pulling a Pilate and washing her hooves of the situation--she can likely cave for other things of equal or lesser weight too. That's not good for her, it make her look weaker than she actually is. Sometimes to help out means sitting on the benches and cheering for the squad and giving them water when they return. She can make decisions but that doesn't mean she holds hooves (she strikes me as the kind of ruler that subscribes to the tough love approach, and before someone mentions "Lesson Zero" she only bailed Twilight out because no other unicorn aside from herself or Luna could remove the spell as Twilight herself couldn't do it and Luna was too busy raising the Moon).
3. Is this a big huge betrayal?
Betrayal, maybe not the best word I could have chosen here but it comes close. Undermining of the story's drama, however, this idea does that in spades. It undermines it by making an intricate plot solvable in less than the time it takes for them to do all this running around. Part two explains that so I won't explain it again. I will, however, say it does harm future readers past the ones currently reading it now because any and all tension that you build up will dissolve and they may have the same negative reaction or a positive one. If either, its too late to do anything about it. In short, you would be doing future readers a potential disservice by destroying the tension with a gigantic plot convenient, dramatic tension destroying nuke and considering that it comes at the end there's no way to build it up again or to create a satisfying conclusion based off it (again, you could leave it there and the story keeps going and no one would explode). I guess a better way of putting it, we hit the climax and the dénouement at the same time, with little room for falling action (yes, I realize that an argument can be made for the law to be the falling action...not in this case because of both what it does and how it affects the plot; it ends the drama and everything that follows are ultimately superficial problems at best, meaning they won't affect the outcome of the story if say ponies riot and Chrysalis and Myshkin stay together anyways). Also, when I say that the meaning of those situations and character moments have changed, some have changed for the better and some have been weakened (again it would take too long to list them all here if you want more info just pm and I'll be happy to go about explaining that). So it's not all bad per say, just a large amount is bad. As a couple of quick examples, the reaction of the in-laws: strengthened in the sense that it highlights the fact that passing a law making ponies not want to tie Chrysalis up for a scientific and entertaining look at a changeling in copious amounts of physical and emotional pain, might not be such a bad idea. The Sparkles' visit to Celestia, weakened in the sense that Myshkin was never in any real legal danger to begin with. The fact they had been lied to for seventeen years with a royal stamp of approval...that's a whole different barrel of apples.
4. Celestia as an absolute power.
Under normal circumstances, I wouldn't touch that idea with a ten foot pole since the story does not show that explicitly, but to avoid the usual "just because it's not shown doesn't mean it's not there" defense, I'm going to dive into the murky depths and hope I still have my legs afterwards. Saying that Celestia is and has absolute power is indeed true. What is not is that she has it by herself. Because this is following an established cannon (i.e. unless you say otherwise) Luna shares that power with Celestia. That little gem happened when Luna agreed to once again rule the night along side Celestia's day. Ironically, since the event itself (Myshkin making bad decisions) technically happened at night, that technically means that Luna has the final say over whether or not Celestia can go through with this law. However, even if we want to ignore technicalities, she would still have to see her on the basis that Luna can object and now Celestia has to get her approval. If they are ruling equally, then courtesy or no Luna could still say no and Celestia has to grind her teeth until her sister says yes, and that no has equal weight as Celestia's yes. The idea of an absolute monarch or a monarch with absolute power is a very tricky thing. This both a good and bad thing depending on the circumstances however, the intricacies involved with the decision making process make it hazardous to the plot of this story (i.e. it could potentially undermine it). In short, unless this is clearly stated at the start of the story, it can be problematic if stated at the end. Thinly veiled plot convenience is still thinly veiled plot convenience no matter how well you try to dress it up or sugar coat it.
5. Conclusion.
At the end of day, yes this is your story and how you end it is up to you. If you want to have multiple endings, not to discourage you but be aware of what that entails. When I say the story is ruined, I mean that the tension and everything associated with it is severely undermined and weakened with the ability to make arbitrary decisions in the form of explicit and implicit law making. I am not saying change the chapter or story's end to suit my or the minority's ideal, I'm not that vain (if you did that my respect for you as a writer would drop significantly). You don't need to do that just to appease the nay sayers because that in of itself has it's own problems. Just know that from a plot, dramatic stand point, the law presented in this chapter (in my opinion), does not work and it could potentially cheapen the happy ending. As I said before, I don't mind happy endings, I prefer them in fact; provided that they or the process to which we get them are not stupid.
Post Note/ Minor Annoyance: Remember that bit I said about Zecora knowing about Changeling physiology, yeah how does she know that again? She might get the exterior idea but anyone who's studied anatomy before will tell you that just because a domestic dog is similar to a wolf does not mean you can give them the same treatments (i.e. physically they might be similar but that's about it, not the best start for internal surgery). The internal mechanics could work completely differently from the ponies around her (btw, nice touch with the multi-layered eyes never would have considered that to hold true for her given how non insect like her eyes look). For all we know, Zecora's voice potion could have had an adverse reaction that they could not have foreseen at all (like melting Chrysalis' vocal cords or doing damage to some of her other unique changeling abilities or heaven forbid her vocal chords aren't even in the same spot), guess the shape shifting magic failing was a good thing huh.
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For lack of desire to fully articulate a response, I see your points and understand them, even if I do think you're reading a little far into it.
As for Zecora, like with the Celestia thing, it's not in the story but I headcanon that she just knows things. Changeling biology, manticore mating habits, the proper mixture of Poison Joke and Heart's Desire to make Valentine's Day spectacular, etc. I can see her knowing.having learned a lot of things that would be considered useless trivia in pretty much all but one situation.
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I don't know anymore ;_;
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Manticore Mating habits?
Wow i love this story so much so much! Interesting plot great portayal of all characters immensly funny xD and more i cant wait till this updates
I demand More!?!
2503723 It was a Pixelkitties picture. We kinda arrived at the idea simultaneously, but she actually has the talent to draw it.
I have gotten so much use out of referencing it ever since Twilicornication.
Pssst! Hey! Vaaaash! Vaaaash! Are you awake? Wake up, Vash!
2593924 is it b/c it could be a good nap?
Shit has really hit the fan
So when will you update? It's summer already.
Great story, I love it!
But please update! I really want to find out what happens
I know that feeling well. (Even though I rarely get to sleep in that late now-a-days.)
This. I like this quote.
I’m willing to risk the wrath of a disgruntled Luna
Far braver than i
These two have ridden the train and teleported more in one week than I have in a lifetime.
something in this story reminded me of a different story, where Changelings were becoming accepted, and found that enough love could turn a changeling into a pony permanently. the first sign of this happening was the holes in their legs filling in. but Chrysalis didn't want to lose her shape-shifting ability, and asked Twilight for help...
edit: found it: it's part of the series that starts with "the celestia code".
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You can teleport?
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Sauce?