"The first time I came back, I thought it was a miracle. By the fifth or sixth time, I knew it was a curse."
Death is a reasonable fear, but it is also a constant reassurance. A promise that no matter how bad things get, they will one day end.
That promise was broken, leaving Rainbow Dash to pay the cost.
A very last minute entry for the 2024 SciFi Contest III.
Special thanks to ScreamQueen and Rb for prereading and valuable feedback.
General content warning: Some depictions of blood, death, and debilitating injuries, but no graphic descriptions. Some existential horror.
Chapters (1)
Brutal. Too awful an experience to keep reading, but I had to know how it finished.
They crossed that line of no return when they replaced Rainbow's good eye with an artificial one.
Poor Twilight had no idea in the end, did she ?
All the best for your entry !
Great story. I was unable to put it down
Rainbow Dash, the Six Million Bits Mare.
That was horrifying.
Very well done, loved every minute of reading it.
The Ending reminds me of Robocop, just made that much darker. Good show!
I was expecting a groundhog day scenario but this...
Is so. Much. Better.
I absolutely adore how horrific and... realistic this is. Love it.
God-blessed work, dear word-smith.
Of course, no matter the hardship, the pain, or the machinations of the wicked, Harmony always finds a way to succeed in the end. As long as those who believe in Harmony, like our Rainbow Dash here, are willing to endure and stay determined through death itself, Harmony will banish the darkness one way or another.
Also, what a great twist at the end. It was a mystery story the whole time and I didn't even notice.
A good read.
I also can't help but think it was in part inspired by Iron Savior. And perhaps with a bit of Metal Gear Rising.
"What about all the good things war has done for us? Why don’t we ever hear speeches about that? Jobs, technology, a common purpose..."
You gave us hope, the savior machine/You were suplosed to be a millons' dream...
This is excellent.
Absolutely brilliant
Excellent piece. Nothing like a bit of body horror to start the day off right.
Every time I read a 'slow roboticization' story I can't help but think, unfortunately, of that one episode of Futurama where it happened to Hermes, and then they just took all the discarded body parts and put them back together again so there were two of him.
this was really good !!
loved every second of it!
this was cool
good story 10/10
Just how I'd imagine Dash in this situation; Going out on HER terms.
This went hard.
Have a like.
This was so effing brutal.
Where are the rest of Twilight and Rainbow’s friends? If Twilight was desperate enough to bring Dash back, what of the others? It’s implied they’re dead, if they died in war why didn’t Twilight try to bring them back?
Oh well, gets an AWESOME!
I have to ask... Where are the others? I could think Twilight other friends could try to stop her or notice something is wrong
Roguelite Rainbow Dash breaks a loop, good for her
Wow, amazing writing. Terrifying and amazing. Great body horror.
Minister Blue Falcon.
I see what you did there! For those at home who don't know...
Blue Falcon, is military slang for someone who royaly screws over their battle buddies.
11907103
Well, if any of the Mane Six is easily militarized it would have to be the element of Loyalty (A core value for a soldier) that can outpace a fighter jet with her own wings.
Or if we want to get really grim about it, there may have not been enough left of the others to bring back in the first place.
I got a cross between Captain America and Robocop outta this. Nice job!
Extremely visceral, I tip my imaginary hat.
I find it a bit odd that none of her friends checked in on Rainbow, but I suppose in time of war things get lost
11907483
You know... apropos of near nothing, you just made Dynomutt infinitely darker.
My only complaint is the fic ended where it did. I wanted to know more. It feels like I was robbed of the final chapter of this fic. On top of that I would have liked to see more about the backs and forths between Equestria and the Storm King and much more about the inner workings of Blue Falcon and how he managed to pull off his double edged act. I wonder if he planed the war. That would be interesting to know.
11907483
I didn't know that! The whole time I thought it was an F-Zero reference.
What a read! Absolutely fantastic!
Have a Like and a Fav!
Ooh this was bleak! I like the way you had Rainbow interpret the meaning of Enemy of Equestria to end not only the war minister but herself. Necromancy is always a fun concept.
Hey there, Drider! Daaaamn, this was a good one! A real contender for the Sci-Fi Contest we're both doing this year!
This was a gripping tale with a great focus on Dash as a character with a strong message about the dark side of transhumanism and the military industrial complex. It's dark and horrifying, but with a satisfying end.
Also, as a reference junkie, don't think I didn't notice the Robocop allusions in here.
(...And maybe referencing the old Hanna-Barbera character, the Blue Falcon? If so, would that make Rainbow Dash his Dynomutt?)
Thanks for the read!
11919545
Thank you! It's especially heartening to hear that kind of praise from an author of your caliber!
As for that second reference... it is a reference, but one that only coincidentally shares a name with that character. It's a specific piece of military slang which refers to someone who'll throw his companions under the bus for his own benefit.
11919560
Oh, that's very kind of you, but there's no need to sell yourself short. After all, you're one hell of an author in your own right!
And yeah, I realized what the actual reference was after perusing the other comments. That's on me for being a big ol' cartoon nerd.
so true actually, these characters really did almost die a lot in the series!
oof! the world of the last scene in the finale really didn’t last long!
augh, so Rainbow was not the first of them to go
a sad direction for Equestrian society to go in but that is war for you
that is indeed curious. the human world? anyway, ponies with guns is never a good sign!
so there’s no way the secretive process is anything not horrifying right
definitely seems a bit unusual for a pony, where did this guy come from?
hoowee. i mean that is true and it makes sense for the ponies to go in this direction given the circumstances that they’re in but dang, those were supposed to be for fun and being awesome!
oh no they’re RoboCop-ing her!
dang this guy is good at convincing
ok yeah who is this guy?
oof that’s the most horrifying one yet!
when even the extremely practical-minded War Minister is being kept in the dark about the research…
this guy is good at convincing!
very Captain America love it
took me a second to parse this, and dang, the Storm Army really has it out for Dash!
ah, so probably her research site is just bringing over technology from the human world
oof, poor Spitfire! though at least petrification might possibly be reversed? and yeah Twilight’s def pulling from the human world isn’t she
and oof, Dash is so self-aware about being passively suicidal
ahaha damn! that is cold, good stuff
and that element is called being awesome, duh
oof… so that is what Project Loyalty is, how horrifying. and from the previous discussions, Dash is being kept to this fate because her being alive and aware and in this body is something inseparable from her Sonic Rainboom ability, the very thing she was so proud of for having. ah, cruelest of irony!
ooh that is a nice touch. guessing the originally intended non-civilian uses for microwaves were horrifying
dang this guy is a sociopath!
and dang yeah, all that seems very obvious now in retrospect!
so true! love that she goes out on a badass line, very Rainbow Dash.
a very fun (in the dark way) genre pastiche that really makes you think about society. thank you for writing!
That was fantastic! I thought it was going to be a curse or something but to know she could have stopped it herself makes it very interesting. She just needed to go against her sense of patriotism and loyalty. Against her very nature, so you know it won't happen. It's heartbreaking to know it started with the best of intentions but left her with only the illusion of choice right up until even that was removed. I'm glad it had a somewhat happy ending.
This is incredible. I can't think of the last horror story I read of this caliper. (Well, time to dive into the similar stories tab) (...) (oh who am I kidding, time to read Ynanhluutr, I'm halfway done with it)
Oh, and also:
Got round to reading this after it was on my reading list for a while. I enjoyed it!
The only thing i have close to a complaint is how Blue Falcon turned out to be a completely irreedemable puppetmaster rather than someone led to do evil things for seemimgly pure intentions. I think he could've been honestly trying to "protect Equestria" while being no less of an antagonist to Rainbow, with there still being room to interpret him as an "enemy of Equestria". The story felt a little shallower after the reveal, because there could've been room for some competing philosophies on what is ultimately "good" for Equestria. Is pursuing war and militarism a necessary evil to secure Equestria, or is that a betrayal of the foundational principles of Equestria? But hey, it's your story, not mine.