• Member Since 6th Mar, 2014
  • offline last seen 7 hours ago

Flutterpriest


I wrote hoers (Ko-Fi/Patreon)

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Source

Flurry comes out as asexual to her parents. This leaves one important question. How will she birth a new ruler? Shining has the answer.

It's bad.


A fun little non-submission to promote the Shining Armor is a Terrible Dad competition. Can you do better than me? Prove it. Send in a submission to win $$$.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 19 )

11836661
No, you're funny. :twilightsmile:

Thank you for writing this proper shitpost. So good that my whole house shook (it was totally not because of the tornado that just hit our area)!

Can you do better than me?

I am the world’s worst father. I once mistook a lawnmower for my son, Arthreides, and raised it for three years, while the boy was condemned to chewing grass from the earth, cowlike, in a living agrarian hell. You challenge me with nary an ounce of my power? Why, I’ll bet you’ve never even taken holy orders.

His thousand yard stare showed very little signs of life, as if the hamster on the wheel inside had a heart attack and shit it’s pants in that specific order.

This line slaps. Not Flurry's ass, though, that's off limits.

Really pushed the teen tag but it was totally worth it.

So, Flurry destroyed Equestria. Good to know.

Not funny. Didn't laugh.

(jk love it)

I can’t not applaud the audacity of someone who promotes their own contest with a shitpost, now can I? :rainbowlaugh:

oh my god lmfao, this was the funniest thing I've read in a while, 10/10

“A sexual what?” Shining blurted out.

I was at work when I read this line and had to cover my mouth to stop from laughing.

“That’s why I’ll knock you up.”

Sensing a disturbance, Shakespearicles was the first commenter.

11837287

a massive, dribbling cream pie to our daughter. For as many times as it took to take.”

That was hot.

Ah, the kind of comedy where you know you shouldn't laugh but do so anyways.

Aka, the best kind.

Fun fact: The title of this story is also the name of a band

Yeah, Shining Armor's a terrible dad alright. Funny, though.

“Holy SHIT!” exclaimed the guard on the other side of the door.

Fax

Absolutely hilarious. Imagine if Opaline was made like this. Would explain so much of her character.

Horrendous. Deplorable. Offensive to the senses of propriety, decorum, and smell.

Such a shame it's ineligible for the contest. :raritywink: Thank you for it.

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