• Member Since 23rd Aug, 2018
  • offline last seen Yesterday


PRONOUNCED: sem ee yawn || any character i ever write, ever, is 18+ unless explicitly stated otherwise


Ocellus doesn't like the way Hyaline looks. Neither do any of the other changelings.

She wants him to stop.

He doesn't feel the need to.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 57 )
Dufa #1 · 6 days ago · · 1 ·

This fic hits a very niche sweet spot of being both a Student Six as adults fic, and a dive into lore implications. Like, it feels like something that would naturally happen in the world the show established and that is just so cool to see.

Howdy, hi~!

Really enjoyed this one. I like the implications and concepts you toss around in this. It's very emotional and it vibes with me on an instinctual level that just kind of worms its way into my brain and makes me think a lot (I like that feeling). Banger read, thank you~!

Adamastos #3 · 6 days ago · · 29 ·

I see a lot of manipulation written in this story by utilizing some aspects of healthy mentality & logic to excuse the selfishness & unhealthy mentality displayed here that society these days is having to deal with in real life.
You voice any disagreement, like I'm doing, and someone will feel like their being denied a perceived right like a child does when you tell them no, regardless if you explain why. In response people will attack you, in one manner or another, to try to silence you so they can keep doing things as they dictate.

Tactics like that are what led to WW2. And this story just further adds to the pile of evidence showing that society is going to face serious consequences if logic & reason aren't reasserted to do away with excusism, delusion, selfishness, & manipulation. Keep in mind, there's no such thing as perfection, so no perfect society will exist. But a better one can with logic & reason. Society is, after all, an environment. A healthy environment means healthy inhabitants.

I say all this as the story is written as if the writer is writing about themself but uses Ocellus & Hyaline in substitution to play both sides of the debate. Hyaline, after all, does mean glassy & transparent in appearance.
So as I said at the start, I see a lot of manipulation written in this story.

Lovely to see more bugs from you! Another great 1st POV fic. :pinkiesmile:

moped #5 · 6 days ago · · ·

i adore this story
hyaline is a great character, i think he carries a great lesson and ocellus is the perfect character to learn from him and them move that lesson forward
plus ocellus and smolder are fantastic

Ehh... my first initial reaction is WTF bu then... it grew on me as I read on. It has interesting story and I feel like this tackles some real life issues. Kinda wish for it to go on, but this is perfect as it.

Finally some good fucking food

Ooh, super neat! Can't say I ever considered this aspect of changelings and changeling culture and how it could play out. Super neat read.

Love me some good bughorse words.

The feeling I got from this is that Hyaline is like a Jewish kid walking around in fashion based on the auschwitz prisoner uniform, loudly proclaiming it as his 'culture', and is confused as to why everyone, including the Jewish community, is ostracizing him for it.

By the end I realised that wasn't the intended reading, but I couldn't shake the feeling I got.

to use a more mlp-aligned analogy, it's like a Kirin deciding to shut up forever because "we gotta remember how bad it was, man"
by Celestia's gilded clit, this fic pisses me off
especially with how Ocellus starts going along with the dipshit's way of thinking
author, can you tell me if this fic's supposed to be an analogy for something irl?

Okay just to let everyone know the holes of Changelings aren't because they were starving they are a defect caused by Celestia. Even Chrysalis used to not have them so this story is kind of weird to me Ocellus should have mentioned that the holes weren't a part of them and were damage that was healed by their reformation. I like the story but dislike the premise because. the reason the changelings had holes, to begin with, wasn't due to the food situation but genetic and physical damage (chrysalis' fiendship is magic shows this and comics are the current primary canon but at the time were secondary canon)

Edit: the holes in a changeling are a form of cancer just instead of tumors its voids so the reason I agree with Ocellus freaking out is because Hyaline is unknowingly making himself look like he's deathly sick, not starving but dying of cancer

You can be right and still an unlikeable asshole. Those two things are not mutually exclusive. Being right or logical does not give you a pass to act in whatever way you'd like. You are not owed respect, not a single person on this planet is obliged to give you an ounce of their time or attention. Act like an asshole, people are not going to like it - even if you are technically "speaking the truth".

Though, honestly, if you find that most people are acting like that towards you, have you considered the possibility that maybe you're not as logical and reasonable that you think you are? Maybe you're just wrong and you're being an unlikeable douche, and people are just tired of your shit?

Ehhh...problem with citing that particular comic in question is that the show later went on to render most of it quite clearly non-canon, so it's debatable how much of it is even accurate anymore, lore wise, because ultimately the show always takes precedent (as evidenced by the fact that the show's staff never checked to make sure they weren't contradicting the comics).

Point is, I don't know if I'd really treat that point from the comic as definite lore, at least. Only optional at best, so if someone chooses to ignore it for whatever reason, there's not really enough of an argument to made to stop them.

oh, I get that it's not fully canon but the idea that the holes aren't natural or due to starvation is. I'm of the mind that the reason changelings had a larger need for food is due to them all having cancer and the food shortage causing the invasion makes the most sense.

Scyphi #16 · Last Tuesday · · 1 ·

So I get what this fic's trying to do. It's trying to say that the classic changeling design needn't be seen as a bad thing. That a classic design changeling can still be a good changeling, and it doesn't have to have the reformed appearance to do that. A point that probably shouldn't even need stressing considering that Thorax himself had already proved as such, and yet here we are.

...But I don't think this was the right way to go about making this point. And it's all because of Hyaline. Or rather, Hyaline's motivations for doing as he does.

See, Hyaline may be trying to make that same point themselves...but the way they're doing it is really, really insensitive, and that does not make him in the right for doing so. Indeed, my first reaction upon realizing why he was doing it was to think that he does not, I repeat, DOES NOT understand the true depth of what he is doing, of the far deeper significance of what those holes represent to some, and that significance is NOT irrelevant, much less something to be downplayed or even dismissed entirely. And worse, he doesn't want to understand. He's doing it as an act of rebellion, and good intentions or not, that's the wrong reasons to be doing what he's doing. He's, in a way, deliberately trying to cause offense, deliberately trying to get a rise out of the others, and that's not good, because it stirs up contention that doesn't need to be there at all. And that's the real problem the fic's inadvertently bringing to light here.

And, frustratingly, it just sort of ignores it entirely, when it probably should've been the real topic of focus with this particular set-up.

And that's a shame, because the whole "these holes don't have to be seen as a bad thing" moral is a good one that I would want to support. But because it decided to broach the subject through a rebellious teen that doesn't understand or care about the ramifications of what he's doing, regardless of whether they're justified or not, it kind of shoots itself in the foot doing so.

Personally, had it been me, I wouldn't have gone the Hyaline route at all. Instead, I would've just made the story be about an innocent question from one of her students (not even a fellow changeling) asking why Ocellus or really any of the changelings never really talk about their pre-reformation days, and that's what gets Ocellus thinking about the topic and whether or not it was healthy to be hiding from the subject. It would've achieved the same end goal in a more straightforward way and without all that added baggage of a teen doing it just to be rebellious.

That all said, I think I will still upvote this story, because as already said I do approve of the intended point of it all, flawed though I think the presentation is. :twilightsmile:

Well, luckily for you, the fic never said the holes were caused by starvation. They're associated with it, simply because they marked what is now seen as a very dark time in changeling history. In other words, the holes aren't caused by starvation, no, but they do inadvertently represent a time period where such a thing was running rampant.

So it's a moot point either way.

Muggonny #18 · Last Tuesday · · 1 ·


Tactics like that are what led to WW2.


that's exactly my same reaction i just wanted to mention the stuff in the canon surrounding my feelings as well (honestly I couldn't put it into words so thank you for doing it)


Could you provide a tad more clarity as to your inquiry?


I see a lot of manipulation written in this story by utilizing some aspects of healthy mentality & logic to excuse the selfishness & unhealthy mentality displayed here that society these days is having to deal with in real life.
You voice any disagreement, like I'm doing, and someone will feel like their being denied a perceived right like a child does when you tell them no, regardless if you explain why. In response people will attack you, in one manner or another, to try to silence you so they can keep doing things as they dictate.

Tactics like that are what led to WW2. And this story



Ok, I think I may know what you're asking. But could you go into more detail than "W-what" as to what is confusing or not understood in your own words? Be detailed if possible. As they say, there's no shame in asking a question only those who want to shame you for wanting clarity.

The comparison of a My Little Pony fanfic to World War II.


Ah, ok. Well, to keep this short, manipulative tactics of the worst types were utilized heavily that led up, into, & through WW2. This FIMfic is reminiscent of those tactics to a disturbing degree that I felt I had to comment. Now I am unaware as to how versed you are with that point in history, so I ask for your forgiveness if at somepoint I've sound rude or confusing.
An example of someone who during that time would be wanting to silence anyone who pointed out such manipulations that was part of the Axis powers wouldn't be too far off from sounding like the SorryLamp fellow earlier in the comments. They are a pretty good example of why I felt I needed to comment. Manipulation is becoming a terrifying thing in the world once more. Unfortunately, literature & entertainment are used heavily to sway others. Even if it's bit by bit.

But history has a nasty habit of repeating itself, usually in ways that leave scars that are plain to see for later generations. But unfortunately manipulative tactics are repeated or picked up and used once again despite history showing how devastating they are.
A few decades ago comics were said to cause violence so manipulative tactics were used to destroy many of them & businesses that sold them.
Videogames were the next target for a more recent example. All of these manipulative tactics had one thing or another to give them a fake justification. Sometimes by presenting some sort of flawed debate, flawed reasoning, or social pressures while trying to pull on the emotional strings of the heart such as in this FIMfic. A tactic used in WW2 that played a part in leading to destruction, death, & more horrors I'd rather not speak of given the choice.

I hope that was sufficient enough to satiate your inquiry.

another banger fic!! six-time consecutive world smolcellus champion!!

Ngl, the pre-thorax design is way cooler, I agree with the kid on that part.

To quote Jessie: "You can dress like a fag if you want, but I won't."

...Honestly, while I sort of get while you're trying to do here?

The way its handled is making Hyaline come off as freaking Punchline. And I hate Punchline.


Muggonny #28 · Last Tuesday · · 2 ·

In response to Adamastos's comment, idk how to respond to something so dumb it automatically makes me feel better about some of the dumb opinions I have, so I'm just going to read the story and leave a nice comment.

This was a lovely story. It feels like the best possible explanation to what a goth changeling would be like. My heart is perforated with holes and this story fills them. This story fills my holes.

I loved this fic when it was submitted for the qns contest and I absolutely adore it now. Really wonderful work - I am always fascinated by fictions that explore these strange cultural clashes without an easy analogue to human cultures. It takes a lot of skill and a great imagination to paint these alien conflicts as something familiar and relatable. Your wonderful prose is just the cherry on top :heart:

This is a delightful story. I like the way Hyaline is triggering a reclamation of the changelings' holes and forcing Ocellus to confront her own biases. Very well written and charming.

Sorry for all the weirdos in your comments though.

semillon #31 · Last Tuesday · · 3 ·

i haven't read this discussion? debate?? in depth because i don't feel like it and i don't really care to argue with the interpretations of my readers

that being said, i feel like it might help certain people if i clarified that what i had at the forefront of my mind when writing this was aesthetics, counterculture and choices in fashion—goth changelings

and in expanding on the initial premise that i thought of (a pastel changeling adorning themself with the villainous, moth-eaten form that they used to have) i ended up framing the conflict as a difference in generational beliefs because it was interesting for me to have a character who was still objectively young be confronted with something like that

imo the comics are only a single point above Word of God in terms of being canon to the show, if that,

but i have indeed been caught in the act

i am trying to start world war 3

I always find it to be incredibly curious that people can spew so many words without actually saying anything at all. It's honestly amazing that you managed to stretch "it just does" into 2 full paragraphs, without ever explaining why or giving actual concrete examples.

Though I honestly shouldn't be surprised that a garbage opinion is entirely without anything backing it up. An unfounded opinion pulled from the void surely wouldn't.

Reading this story, I was reminded of the phrase "If you can't stand me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best."

While that phrase may be true and accurate, that's hardly an excuse to be an asshole to others, just for the sake of being an asshole.

Respect, tolerance, etc. are all two-way streets. You don't get to take and take and take without giving something in return. Specifically something of equal or equivalent value.

THANK YOUUUUU :heart::heart::heart:

i've always been curious as to what Post-Chrysalis changelings might end up doing a few decades down the line—real opportunities for the average changeling hive to look like a VRChat server

that's pretty much Hyaline hahahaha

much appreciated!

I get where you're coming from! I think the point where you get frustrated with the story, Hyaline not knowing what, exactly, he's doing, would make for a better story if I'd worked at it more. I feel like it was important for me to have him in the story at all because I wanted to avoid making the changelings monolithic as a culture, but I see why your suggestion of avoiding the Hyaline route entirely would help me make my point in the simplest way. You make me wish I sat on this a little longer :twilightsheepish:

I appreciate the support and the feedback!


A response huh? That's odd, because I would've been alerted to a response to my comment. But I didn't get one. What this is is just cowardice and manipulation. You're trying to make me look wrong for having an opinion and claiming what I said is dumb automatically just because of you're own opinions as you have stated for all to see. You are the one who asked me to explain my reasoning for commenting. I did so honestly. But you? Instead of replying that you disagree with me & leave it at that, you went & tried your hand at this toxic disgrace & dishonesty.

You haven't made a nice comment. You've just tried to sway people, to manipulate them, to see you as a better person than me without any substance to back it up. This is all the actions of a school bully or a shallow piece of work who needs others to see them as superior &/or in a good light for their own wants. Such actions remind me of two fillies from the show. Diamond Tiara & Cozy Glow.

But, if you're fine with being like them? OK, that's your choice. But I will not let some just shame me for voicing my opinion or try to make me out as an idiot for their own cowardice & dishonesty! Especially when they are the one who approached me for an explanation!

After what you have done, what have you accomplished? You have proven my opinion and explanation that manipulation is rising once more at a disturbing rate. That this story does have manipulative aspects and that there are people who will attack you, in one manner or another, to try to silence you should you voice an opinion that they dislike so they can make themselves seem better & keep doing things as they dictate.

If you were an actual fan of this show you wouldn't have done what you have done here. Instead you would've simply ignored my comment or said you disagree with a polite possible explanation as to why. But you didn't. Now everyone can see who you are & what you are. A falsehood, a liar, a manipulator, a coward, a bully. I hope you have healthier higher aspirations than being all of that & can attain them. Otherwise, like so many, you will only weave a tapestry of fate filled with hardships & regrets with truth of blame lying solely on thyself.


A response huh? That's odd, because I would've been alerted to a response to my comment. But I didn't get one. What this is is just cowardice and manipulation.

That's absolutely rich coming from a guy who has no problem ignoring people, but talking about them in comments to others rofl

While I stand by my Punchline comparison, I'd like to make it understood that I don't think the story is actually bad. For the point its trying to make, its well-written, well-made.

I just don't like it.


...Strong levels of "Sir, this is a Wendy's."

In any case, I agree that Hyaline should have been more explored as a character here, since he seems to emulate something without fully understanding it. (Or, like many teens, he believes he understands it better than all the adults.) And he has a point in forcing them to confront something they want to leave in the dustbin of history. Interesting one-shot, but a little flawed.

Well what's a story about holes without a few flaws?

Ocellus: But why do you have to look like that?

Hyaline: Because I look cool.

Based. 😎

Sounds like somebody needs to slap Hyaline with the harsh facts of reality. It gives off vibes of a German youth deciding to wear a swastika to me and trying to play it off as them just being 'them' or just being edgy.

Comment posted by Netap deleted Last Wednesday

It bugs me that I don't get to know why Hyaline keeps his holes. I get to assume, sure, but... Could be the same reason as Ocellus, but that doesn't seem right.

Interesting take on an old trope though. Good read.

Comment posted by Baree deleted Last Wednesday

I would otherwise agree if not for the fact that Changelings just *look* that way. It's not an adornment that was just their natural look and others were scared of it so they could never really get any love. If anything they were constantly prejudiced against and face hardship after hardship to the point where Chrysalis became an egomaniacal power-hungry dictator hellbent on forcing the issue. Even before the Royal Wedding changelings weren't seen as great by any means, and afterwards it was even worse - Thorax genuinely just wanted to make peace with others and was nearly exiled (in a more adult show they might've literally just killed him). As a kid's show it doesn't have the opportunity to really explore these concepts, especially within the framing of near-half hour episodes that are supposed to be primarily centered around one or more of the mane six. Not like the freedom that the comics had. And even then, Thorax as a "good" changeling (I'm using the term liberally here, forgive me) even while looking like the others. In the end they didn't need to transform their bodies to transform their hearts, and neither is a body the same as a heart. It's the heart of the matter, that matters. Ultimately I believe that the entire reason the skittlebug change took place in the first place was due to the fact the creators wanted to make it clear for kids that they were "good now" and to also make them more appealing for children who may've been terrified of the prior design.

'Cause let's face it, you know for a fact that if some adults were creeped out by some of Chrysalis' Exorcist movements (and some people I know to this day are STILL creeped out by the initial changeling design and its use of tryptophobia), then children were even WILDLY more unnerved by it - most at least.

If anything I feel this is a false equivalence fallacy, and by using this false equivalence fallacy you're still essentially doing the same thing the changelings INTENTIONALLY transformed to move away from - this type of prejudice.

Edit: And to top it off, if you know what nazis are and were originally - capitalist fascists - then you know this is even more a false equivalence. You can't really exploit love out of others, otherwise they'll inevitably die - THEN it becomes capitalist fascism. But they can't sustain their love source since not only do the children need some level of love, but also you get less quantity and quality love by forcing your source of food to live in fear constantly.

Which, personally, I feel was a major flaw in Chrysalis' ideals from the very beginning and why she was always destined to fail. Unfortunately, MLP needed a villain and Chrysalis was the easy to pull from for something like what they had in mind. But it's also why Chrysalis will never be able to fully redeem herself without a lot of work and new experiences - because she's set in her ways of thinking and being, and too afraid to accept change and a new way of thinking and that others could have changed and been more courageous, which is ironic for a changeling.


Did you intend for this story to be an allegory? Because I get a particular meaning from it, and I see some of the very different meanings some of your other commenters are posting about, and I'm left wondering...what did you intend?

What moral lesson were you trying to convey?

Or was this supposed to be just a funny story about changelings?

Every time Smolcellus shows up in one of your fics I turn into a burbling pile of mush on the floor. they're so perfect that it actively hurts me. Please never stop writing them.

But yeah I gotta say I'm left wanting a little more out of this one. It's so easy to fall victim to the classic blunder of exploring deeper concepts in a speed-written contest entry. I do it every time I enter Jinglemas. I really want to spend more time with Hyaline and get to know more about how he thinks and all the questions he could pose about the way changelings are. This is great stuff, just wish there was more!

Reminds me that sometimes, children do know more than the adults. Or, rather, the children embrace the things the adults fear more than death.

It also has hints of debunking racism and appearances of people.

It was quite well written actually. You don't often find stories where the child teaches the adult.

Comment posted by Magic Man deleted Last Wednesday
Login or register to comment