• Member Since 25th Jul, 2022
  • offline last seen 3 hours ago

Warrior Priest


Servant of Sigmar, the Hammer, and the Empire!

Comments ( 44 )

Oof, a your/you're mixup in the story description, not a good start. :twilightsheepish:

11362146
Fixed. I should have seen that.

This was one of the best straight, romantic human x pony stories I've read in awhile.

This was a breath of fresh air.

11362241
Thank you, glad to see people enjoying it.

11362209
Haha no worries, I really enjoyed the story a lot. Angel is a real sweetie. :yay:

Good job but one question is their going to be a sequel to this or continuation of this story between the two?

Because I wouldn’t mind a sequel or heck a whole story between the two

11362343
It's certainly possible, I had a few ideas for potential sequels. Though when those would come around I'm not sure. That aside, thank you for reading!

11362348
Hey no problem really enjoyed it.

Plus that means there is going to be a sequel or a couple of them, yes whoo can’t wait.

But anyway hey I enjoyed it can’t wait for the sequel to come out.

But hey good job with your first ever fic

You know I was gonna call out that he was stalking guardian angel but you beat me to it

11362209
Can you send a warning of when the clop starts.
Im here for the story

Great story
Definitely in my list.

Been a bit since I’ve really been on the site but have been lurking, reading, pondering if I’ll finally finish my own…then I saw this.

Sometimes it’s easy to get inundated with all varieties of clop and feel like you’re about to be desensitized to anything that isn’t extreme.

Then you find something like this, vanilla done quite well. I’m sure over the years I’ve read things that compare, but I was into this enough that I was never once drawn out of the narrative to do so. The story itself was more than enough to convince me to say here that I am absolutely following and looking forward to more from you.

There is joke, why blonde chicks watch porn to the end? They hope for marriage.
While I am not blonde or chick, reading clopfics for romance, plot and happy ending is what I love. Good job! It was very sweet.

Congrats on your success and hitting the featured box! It's good to see vanilla stories are still popular enough to draw a crowd, as I'm for tired of all the extreme stuff that gets posted daily. I favorited the story in the chance we get some sort of continuation in the future, peace!

11362511
Thanks for the kind words. I've been a lurker for a few years now as well, and decided the site could use a bit more vanilla. I'm glad to see so many people enjoying it.

11362645
Thank you! I was quite surprised it got featured as well.

This was really good. Well written, short and sweet and a very good build up. I mainly came here for the story but the other stuff was really well done too. I'm a sucker for a good love story.

Bravo, fair author. Congratulations on the feature. :moustache:

11362348
Please do. Good straight, normal monogamous human x pony stories, especially OC pony ones, are hard to come by. The site is over-saturated with same-sex shipping, and it's not my preference. I want some simple straight love stories. This OC not only is cute but she comes off as a believable individual. I want to see more of her and her human bF (hopefully a real BF).

This was nice! You achieved your goal of creating a very good, vanilla, HiE story.
Sometimes it's relaxing to just sit back and watch a couple grow closer together without the "and then chaos ensued."

The date was charming and the scene was satisfying.

Thank you for posting.

11362998
Glad you enjoyed it, and thank you for reading!

This was cute and very well written. While I do like the more unusual stuff, it's nice to see a vanilla story get featured now and then. It does seem outnumbered here lately.

Very nice, love the dialog and the pacing, and leaves me hungry for more. I love these normal stories where there isn't a big bad just a guy trying to get their muse. Love your writing and hope to see more!

Passable? That was fantastic! You've got a knack for writing! :twilightsmile:

11363206
Yeah, I noticed a lack of pure vanilla stories on the site for awhile. That aside, thanks for reading!

That was a beautiful read

Very sweet and wholesome, loved the atmosphere that you managed to create here, the tranquility of this place, the landscapes are dreamy, very befitting of this romantic story. And I enjoy the word play with a guardsmare literally called Guardian Angel, haha! :twilightsmile:

11363748
Guardian Angel is a character from the show. However, I'm not sure if the name is ever referenced in any canon material, or if it's a community name. Either way, she's not an OC, as many people might think. derpicdn.net/img/2018/10/19/1860738/large.png

Anyway, thank you for reading!

11363794
Yeah, that's what I thought at first, thanks for clarification!

The Guard even made me Corporeal right off the bat,

She was incorporeal before?
Oh my goodness, she's a ghost!

11364221
Fixed. Thanks for pointing it out, made me notice a few other mistakes I missed as well despite reading this story over at least seven times.

11364357
Yeah, there's still some errors here and there.
Since you asked for feedback - my absolute biggest gripe is the random switching between the present and past tense. It's one thing that really gets my goat, and if it's egregious enough, it makes a story unreadable. Most people use past tense, not that there's anything wrong with present tense, but for the love of whatever you consider sacred, pick just one for a given story. Examples:

After taking a moment to compose herself, Guardian Angel lowers her wing and smiles at you warmly, “I’m…not sure. Nopony’s ever been so…forward.” Shifting her hooves, her armor plates clattering a bit, “I’m off Sunday, how about then?”

You raised your eyebrows, “Yeah, yeah! That works perfectly, maybe around 6:30?”

She nodded, “That works for me. I’ll be waiting outside the main gate, in the Royal Plaza.”

(...)

You stood in silence for a few minutes, trying to wrap your head around what had just occurred, and then, with a burst of energy equal to a thousand energy drinks, you jumped up in the air and pumped your fists. Turning on a heel you canter down the streets with a spring in your step, and ponies can’t help but look at you, wondering what’s gotten you in the best mood of your life. You make it home with no time to spare, you’ve got to make some plans, maybe get a new set of clothes, so much to do and so little time.

Most of the story is in past tense, so maybe stick with that.

11364390
I'll give it another look over. As far as the tenses go...for context, I wrote most of the story in present tense at first, but decided that some parts were easier to write in past tense (since I'm more familiar with that) and went back and changed most of it to past tense. Though I know it can be jarring, I still wanted some scenes to be more "in-the-moment" and used present tense. Since it's written in second person I figured I could get away with it, despite it not being correct in terms of rules. I understand that it's a turn off for some people, but hey, despite it being my first story I figured I'd be ballsy and do a bit of experimenting.

In any case, I'm grateful for the feedback and keep I'll it all in mind. Thank you for giving the story a look!

This is peak pony right here. Romance with just enough simple sex to get me going.

*chef kiss*

Definitely loved this one. Well done on the lead up to the romantic night! I guess pony sex in public isn't as taboo as it is in our world? :rainbowwild:

For a first story this is remarkable high quality and I for one would not mind seeing more! Either as a followup sequel or more writings! Good job all around.

Dang that was pretty good all things considered
Do enjoy me some guard ponies for sure in any story

~Reggie

Not a fan of 2nd person stories normally, but I enjoyed this one. :twilightsmile:

Angel nodded, “I read about you in the papers, back when I was barely getting into the 23rd.” She chuckled, “I remember a few of my squadmates freaking out about ‘alien invasions’ and having to go to war with ‘The Monkey King’ and all this and that.” She laughed softly at the memory.

I would pay good money to see that movie. Jet Li as the Monkey King!

She shook her head, “You’re a real magician with…with those hands of yours.” She let her head fall into the grass again, “Now…show me what you can do with that wand of yours.”

:facehoof: I need some crackers to go with that cheese.

That was a very good read. Worthy of a full on multi-chapter story

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