• Published 3rd Mar 2022
  • 8,583 Views, 122 Comments

To Do List - False Door



Big Mac tries to acquire a bit of free time. After a temporal mishap, he finds the whole universe permanently frozen around him. With no purpose in life or consequences for bad behavior, he quickly becomes a lazy glutton and deviant sex addict.

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Comments ( 62 )
raw19 #1 · Mar 5th, 2022 · · 8 ·

Damn. Hope a friendship didn't just end.

Honestly, i'd probably do a lot of the same things in Mac's Horeshoes. Especially if i knew that my death would restart the Universe. 'Whelp, i fucked everything up so...might as well have a little fun and go out with a bang'.

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I added an epilogue chapter depicting the less immediate ramifications. Guaranteed to make you feel even worse but in a good way... For whoever's interested... I know at least two of you are.

Couldn't Twilight go for broke and test any of the other Apples. Everyone being genetically similar to the Apples would probably narrow it down to the only male Apple.

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Or just... NOT ask, but ultimately there's probably no way to avoid having a very hurtful confrontation in the end.

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I randomly opened this again and saw the new chapter. I like that ending a lot, although I liked the first one a lot too.

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Clearly that was the feeling he wanted to confess. I mean isn't that all "I love you" really means? Truly?

Well that put even more flavor to the story. Thank you very much.:twilightsmile:

The easy out would have been to suggest that Mac's death wasn't necessarily suicide, but could be something more sinister.
Sadly Twilight is not good at thinking on her hooves in this one.

This was an interesting jaunt into an impossible but still pretty terrifying scenario. Being stuck outside of the flow of time would undoubtably end the way Mac's life ended. I actually appreciate the epilogue, but it does leave some questions unanswered. Honestly my biggest question is why Applejack upon finding her brother didnt wonder why he probably looked 30-40 pounds fatter than he did when he left that morning. However, if the intent was a concept you had that needed to be written I get that too. Lord knows I've done the same thing. Anyway this was an interesting dive into a rarely used plot device. Great job!

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Thanks! I think Applejack at some level is probably aware that the circumstances are strange and suspicious for her brother and she's in denial about his culpability and terrified of finding out the truth. If that's how you read it, it makes that very last part of the story with Apple Bloom a real gut punch.

Epilogue 2 idea:

"Twilight was nice about it. I won't be. Fluttershy was hurt by this, Applejack. And that is something I cannot, nor will I ever, let go. We need to talk."

"Ain't got nothing to say to you, Discord."

"Then listen, you little Applebitch. And learn what it means to truly anger a draconequus."

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See, Discord probably would have been my number one suspect in this whole scenario.

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I was wondering why it is so long on Features List.
Nice to see Epilogue. Still would like to see more.

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I think it could be because of quote: Scruffy, sickly looking and flabby. That doesn't seem like fat to me. Also he could lost weight. We don't know, if he haven't lost some weight. He could eat everything, nothing else left, and because of lack of dopamine, he just didn't feel like eating. Hunger was last emotion that let him feel something, anything.

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Also, in Twilight perspective, the reason to exhume Big Mac could be that he was mindcontrolled by someone. We want to know who is the father of those new foals. But we don't believe it was Big Mac. Twilight could say, that he could be mind controled, or possesed and after end of possesion/mind control he just couldn't bear what he has done. Even if he is not responsible, impregnating his little sister could be too much for him and that's why he killed himself. And knowing is important, because maybe incestious foals are sick. Better to know it before Applebloom will be forced to give birth. Unless in your universe incest doesn't produce sick children, then we have at least that.

I would like to see more of aftermath, maybe after exhumating Big Mac or Applebloom giving birth.

And I would like to see, if ponies would believe what he did, or they will believe, he was possesed or mind controled.

Im so glad you made an epilogue :D
I want to read more like this ^^

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I was wondering why it is so long on Features List.

I'm honestly mystified by this too. I've been writing stories exactly like this one since I got here but no one looks at them because no clop I guess... This is like playing guitar in your garage every weekend and then waking up one morning to find you have a platinum album.

I would like to see more of aftermath, maybe after exhumating Big Mac or Applebloom giving birth.

I knew this would happen... I admit there's enough left to make an entire sequel but I'm not going to make promises I'm not willing to keep.

JBL

Sequel should be Big Mac coming back as a ghost 😂

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Which someone like him would probably find insulting. (One thing I see him having in common with the Joker is that he'd happily confess to something he actually did.) And he'd immediately volunteer a DNA test to prove his innocence.

how did you decide to have fluttershy just get an std rather than pregnant?

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I just thought there should be some element of randomness. Not everyone is going to be fertile at the time or contract a disease 100% of the time.

AJ and RD are untouched. Fluttershy and Twilight get VD. Pinkie and Rarity get knocked up. Trixie got everything because she had so many encounters with Mac over a long period of time and by extension other partners plus she was ovulating. Sweetie Belle is pregnant because she cycles with Rarity. Diamond is pregnant because I thought that made a good scene... I guess I actually put more though into this than I thought...

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alrighty then

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definitely the clop

you should consider writing some more

Well aj is going to have egg on her face in eleven months when most of pony villes female population pops out a horde of little mac's. The apple family is going to be social pariahs when they realize Mac was basically a serial rapist

While the last chapter ended really sad and dark, this Epilogue gave it more of a humorous schadenfreude that really ended strong, letting us mentally bounce back from the last chapter to focus on everything that happened. I'm going to need to look over your other stories, it's always fun discovering an author you didn't know about.

As for the calls for a sequel, I don't know if you have can find a strong enough conflict to follow up Mac's journey to frame a part 2. But you are the author, if you have an idea you want to run with, run with that monstrosity, I'll read it. Honestly, I'd love to see a little of Rarity getting chubby depression-binging ice cream as she comes to terms with her imminent surprise single motherhood. I just like seeing my favorite pony hamming up her struggles chasing fame and fortune.

I wanted to see Vinyl freak out at finding all her drugs gone

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he only had oral sex with her, because she lives very close to sweet apple acres and big mac was afraid of going back there.

But I am sad too that Mac impregnated all mares of Ponyville (and maybe snips too!) but not Fluttershy!!

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yeah, reread that part too
but also begs to question how many times Big Mac 'visited' Fluttershy, cause if it was just the once and she got the clop from that, that raises some questions about big mac, cause she was his 'first' during this debacle

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damn, you're right :D that's strange ^^

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The implication is that he did go back to Fluttershy later. She didn't get pregnant because sometimes you just don't get pregnant. Or maybe she has fertility issues. Wouldn't that be sad? The best mother character can't have kids...

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alrighty then

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Thanks! It's fun to get a new watcher.

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I think a good warmup would have been his doing himself while looking at frozen mares. After a timeskip of unspecified length, he could graduate to touching.

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That's fair reasoning, but I wouldn't worry about it too much. This is a story-based website, so most people here are looking to read a story.

If they're trying to crank one out real quick, they're really coming to the wrong place.

This story's already done, but it's something to keep in mind in case you ever feel like writing another clop story in the future.

HAHAHAHA! Fluttershy got the clap, oh my God, hahahaha


Ah, anyway... They'll know who the culprit is when the foals are all born... Man, I'm mostly just surprised that they didn't have any DNA samples of Big Mac

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What would a DNA test prove? Discord's sperm is probably made of little hims dancing.

This was an interesting exploration about the utility of morality, even if only self imposed, and also a neat look into how existential dread can really eat away at someone.

would be disgusted and horrified again, completely flaccid, 10/10 read.

Having finished this story, I feel as hollow, empty, numb, and disgusted as Big Mac. And to that I say bravo. It's hard for fanfics to make me feel this shitty, and I promise that's a compliment. It means you're an amazing authors. Defs gonna follow, but now I think I need to go watch the actual show to be able to sleep lol

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Thank you! This is all I ever wanted to do. :pinkiehappy:

Can't believe he didn't even get that Alicorn booty first. Rest in peace, Mac. :raritydespair:

Kinda boring. A pessimistic story about hedonism.

Now I wonder what happens if we switch the roles of Big Mac and Applejack. What does a mare's downward spiral into hedonism look like? Not as 'fun'?

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You should feel ALL of those things.

Why'd you have to pick on Trixie man

I'm the meanest to the characters I like most.

Nope... not a 'fucking ghoul'... a logical person following the evidence to its logical conclusion. I could see an 'epilogue 2' here where Applejack gets a wakeup call when Celestia and Luna themselves point out to her that the events are most likely connected and overrule the usual 'family gets to decide' as judges have in the real world.

This story has left me thinking about life, death and existentialism for the past few days since i finished it.
It's an awesome story and i've so many smutty time stopping/ travel fics but never one like this.
I also wanted to ask, how long was Big Mac's journey? I bet at least a year but i also thought it'd be hilarious if it was just a week before he ended it. Also idk why but I'm only curious over wether or not Mrs. Cake got pregnant or an std, and were the only stds VD? And did Big Mac feel any effects of the stds and who did he first get it from?
Fascinating story really kudos!

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I'm glad to hear that you're still thinking about it days later... Some of your questions I don't have answers for simply because I never decided one way or another. VD is just short for venereal disease which is interchangeable with "STD." There were definitely multiple diseases spread during the event. Big Mac never contracted anything because all viruses and bacteria were frozen in time. He simply spread them from place to place like a bee does with pollen. Who were the original carriers? Well that's for you to theorize. Same with Mrs. Cake. In my mind though I can at least confirm he definitely didn't skip out on her. Also I think he probably spent two to three years like this. Kind of begs the question, how long could you live where you live without running out of food?

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Fair enough i do like how it can be theorized on, ya i would definitely give up after a couple years, such a good story on moderation, one i would never ever tell anyone about but it's definitely left an impact on me :eeyup:

I will say that this was interesting. It did feel like the Simpson's Tree House of Horror skit where Bart and Milhouse used a magic stopwatch, only they turned it on and off and when they did break it, they fixed it in a ten year span, at least for them.

Anyway, nice job.

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Thanks! In my mind, the Simpsons stayed frozen in time when I stopped watching new episodes like 12 years ago so it's weird to hear you describe a Halloween episode I haven't seen and am now compelled to watch.

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