• Member Since 24th Mar, 2018
  • offline last seen 4 hours ago

Davis Collus


I know what I like. Support me on ko-fi.com/daviscollus

Comments ( 11 )

oh please make a sequel!

Fun story. I’d love to read more, especially about that weekend.

Would definitely like to see a sequel. This was great, love seeing Fillyshy get pounded.

10701874
10701917
10702053

Lotta People wanting to see that weekend in action, huh? :) Well, lets give the people want they want!
It'll be a while tho. Other stories need updating first.

I liked this story :) Especially the idea, that Fluttershy is using that kind of method to compare with the stress in public situation ^^

Eh. Just, eh. Generic porno is generic is the best way to sum up this story. I usually make a point of trying to review a story based on what the story is trying to be, and what the author is going for. That being said, just trying for the most basic, predictable, bland, porn story possible is not much of an aspiration, and doesn’t win any points. Sure, it technically achieves what it says it is, but it must be said that it wasn’t trying very hard in the first place. Things just kind of happen, no real explanation or reason. Fluttershy is totally fucking her parents on the regular just because, foalcon morals be damned. While “because porn” is an excuse that a reader can use to enjoy a story more, it doesn’t actually do anything to improve the quality of the narrative. Really, the best thing I can say about this story is that it doesn’t have much majorly wrong with it. Like, there’s not a ton of grammar errors or plot holes, but that’s because there isn’t much of a plot to begin with. Really, the only thing I vaguely liked in the entire story was Rainbow’s slip up of “How’re you daddy?” which felt kinda funny and like a realistic flub. I guess Gilda and Rainbow also felt sort of in character too. Maybe. As a story in this contest, it doesn’t do anything interesting or different with the “found out” idea. Character being a voyeur, character gets caught, innuendo, roll credits. So really, this story just isn’t much of anything. Perfectly harmless, perfectly disposable.

10704996
You know, fair is fair. It was a bit rushed in terms of plot and a big reason for that was because I thought I had a few more days, but forgot that February ends like 3 days earlier, I would have gone more into the anxiety but time left me only getting Rainbow's side of the story, but in the sequel (if I do it) it'll expand further into how this all started for Fluttershy.

However I think you might have missed something while reading. You said there's no reason for it that's explained, she just fucks and that's it, but I think you missed the why. Fluttershy does this because it helps with her anxiety. It gives her confidence, courage, being on camera and being assertive just to watch it back the next morning helps her get through a really tough day where her anxiety would usually have peaked. Watching herself being dominate and assertive gives her a high that lasts for the rest of the day, and seeing Rainbow catch her in the act and enjoying it gave her another confidence high which she used to invite her best friend over for the weekend.

I don't begrudge your review, I know this isn't my strongest work, but it did make me happy to see that you didn't find much wrong with the grammar and such, and that just speaks volumes on how much I'm improving :) I hope you have a good day and take care.

10705572
Well, thank you for the reply. It’s interesting to know more about the behind the scenes thought process. And I suppose I should elaborate. I get that the sex itself is for stress relief , I meant more about how and why she has a setup with her parents while still underage. It seems to ignore all morals and logic. Still, thank you for reading my review, and Ihope you have a good day as well.

This was. Interesting story to be honest I really liked it :rainbowhuh: also loved how conflicted she was while flutters was being plowed by her father while I this helps her a lot

10/10 I recommend this story!! :twilightsmile:

if you do a sequel, how about when Dash goes over, fluttershy surprises Dash with her own parents being there! some bowdashshy and windydashshy action ;P

That ending.

HOO BOY!

That ending clinched it.

It was good. I was enjoying the fun little romp.

But that ending turned it up to 11. I actually don’t want a sequel. The ending was so good, I think my expectations will be too high.

But I do want a sequel. I so very much do.

Login or register to comment