• Member Since 20th Aug, 2021
  • offline last seen 3 hours ago

False Door


If you like feeling awful, you've come to the right place.

Comments ( 65 )

Fatal Frame much...?

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I promise it will NOT have Fatal Frame mechanics. It's actually more loosely inspired by the movie Insidious... LOOSELY.

Reminds me of how Big Mac and AppleJack were when they were younger. Big Mac was more outspoken while AppleJack was quick to hide things. It's almost like the trauma has reverted the emotional/mental growth they got from the events in their childhood. Apple Bloom seems the same for now, though, although she is more confused and upset about many things (understandably).

I have seen a few "bad Apple Family" fics before and this is the most realistic one I've come across. The trauma is realistic to what might actually happen in their environment and everypony has changed in a way that is still realistic to their canon personalities.

Interesting fiction ya got there.

11402328
I'm glad you noticed that because I did have that Apple flashback episode in mind while writing it.

11402540
Awesome! Glad you did some research, that always makes stories more intruiging.

The question was simple but Apple Bloom was completely flummoxed. She didn't remember hearing it from anyone else. She didn't make it up herself, either previously or in the moment. It just suddenly appeared in her mind like she'd found a story book on a shelf and started reading. She screwed up her face in bewilderment. "Ah… Ah don't know."

The story was creepy, but this made it spooky. I love how horrifying it is.

Nice to see the ratings are enabled and even better, to see a lot of likes on the story!

11403789
I'm kind of blown away by the reception this is getting, especially since I'd never been more skeptical about a story before posting it. It's good for writing morale.

Comment posted by 3-tap deleted Oct 27th, 2022

yep. You've definitely got my attention with the spook factor.

This is fantastic it's so rare to see well done horror

From super early on, I could tell this was going to be a really well executed story. Love the slow burn, mood setting, extensive foreshadowing. Can’t wait to see where this goes!

Rumble doesn't know what he got himself into.

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Thanks! I really wanted to make the mood paramount. I'm aiming for atmosphere like Night in the Woods, Serial Experiments Lain and sometimes... Salad Fingers.

So now we have a love triangle?

What about Sweetie? Does she like Rumble too?

11405430
So no foursome? Fuck...

The last scene really hammers in Apple Bloom's general ungratefulness towards things.
I still have a shred of sympathy for her since she's a child and perhaps just doesn't understand her family's situation well enough, but I also just wish I could tell her "You need to appreciate your family
more!". Reminds me of some of my own behaviors, in a way.

11405448
Nothing THAT fancy...

11405458
The two odd things in this story that made me feel bad were that scene and Twist not getting to be in photography class.

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Poor Twist, she must be so lonely. Apple Bloom was probably her only friend and it's like no matter what timeline she's in, Apple Bloom always leaves her for her more "interesting friends".

Hmmm, is this a regular realization of her making mistakes? Or the camera no longer influencing AB and her struck by how weird she's been acting? Anyway, I love the tension being ramped up, her siblings, the camera, Rumble, the shadow? What will break out first?

11406452
I'm really getting the feeling that the camera is influencing her more and more the longer she wears it. She basically only takes it off to sleep, and it seems that she might soon start causing some morally objectionable stuff just to take a picture.

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I'd say you're mostly on track there.

Gotta say, this story's fascinating so far. Keep up the good work!

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Thanks! Will do my best.

I don't see the playlist at the end, what happened to it?

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The word 'soundtrack' is the link. For some reason it won't show up blue like I told it to.

No, it wasn't that she didn't care that it was wrong, wrong was the point. She liked Rumble but more than anything she wanted to intrude on Scootaloo and him in every sense of the word, to go somewhere sacred she wasn't allowed, corrupt and defile it and make it hers.

I love that she's been influenced not into not caring that it's wrong, but into loving that what she's doing is wrong.

Well, that desire to vicariously experience unsettling things through her camera has transformed into... I don't know what. Eating an anthill seems like a rather benign option, what happens when AB is suddenly curious how well a cheese grater works on her skin? Or someone else's? It feels like something positively alien is poking buttons in her head to get it's kicks.

11411315
You might say this is the next best method for observing the environment when cut off from the camera... like how a baby puts everything in their mouth.

We're almost to the punchline.

This is a solid story so far, can hardly wait to see how it ends. Apple bloom's slow descent into madness has been fascinating to read.

11416437
Thank you. I'm planning on posting the rest of the story all at once because I don't like all the breaks in the momentum.

I am very confused

I don't really understand this ending
Is there something important I am missing?

This first chapter is exceptional. Great character writing, tangible sense of foreboding, implied CheeriMac. :eeyup: Looking forward to reading the rest.

11419242
Thank you. Glad you're finding this story in its complete form.

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The short version is that Apple Bloom switched places with the entity.

The explanation is that this entity is bound to this cursed camera and it's just been hanging out in the house for years because the only way it can influence the world Is through manipulating the user of the camera. Finally, one day, Apple Bloom starts shooting and the games begin. First she hears whispers, then intrusive thoughts, then urges, then she feels compelled to do things.

The only goal of the entity is to escape into the real world and lead a happy life in someone's place. It does this by learning all about you and the world mostly via the camera. (Hinted at when Apple Bloom's viewfinder abruptly shows the entity's viewpoint.) Granny and Winona are the only ones who can see this creature but of course they can't explain it to anyone.

As its influence over the user grows, it begins chipping away at their self control, allowing them to be their worst selves. Apple Bloom was already disobedient which was a good starting point. This is how it learns to be the best you. It is your negative or the opposite of you. When you change, it changes. The more it sees, the more developed it's appearance. The worse you act, the better its temperament. The entity's character arc is seen toward the end where Granny and Winona are aparantly having positive interactions with the doppelganger when they used to be angry or afraid of it.

Eventually one day you're so bad and it's so good that it can cross over and replace you. Your family is unaware. They're just happy because they think you've turned a corner and you're such a good pony now. New Apple Bloom succeeds everywhere old Apple Bloom failed. She always eats her grits, in fact she loves them. She loves being near Granny. She takes school seriously and doesn't beat anyone up. No one misses the old Apple Bloom trapped in her own little world of one as a negative. (old cautionary tale ending)

As for seemingly erasing the aftermath of Apple Bloom's horrible acts, the new Apple Bloom is either a very good diplomat, (which is what I want to believe,) or can now perform uninhibited mind control. Or maybe this is some kind of new or parallel idealistic universe created by the final photo.
Let's leave SOMETHING to the imagination.

11419345
Following this logic... The "entity" was Applebloom's dad, right?
Because if so... Major "oof" for Applebloom, swapped with the "ghost" of her own father.
And yes, I did imagine the Roblox death sound just now.

A fascinating Read. I can't help but draw some comparisons to Stephen King's Christine. Was it perhaps a source of inspiration for this one?

But yeah all and all good story, nice one ^^

11419419
I'm interested to read people's thoughts on how the fate of Apple Bloom's parents plays into all this. I have my own idea in the back of my mind but it's probably not as interesting as most.

I want to favorite this story because of how well-written it was, but god damn, do I feel bad for Apple Bloom. I almost don't want to favorite it because how much of a downer ending this was.

Of course, I should've expected as much, and I get the feeling from reading your user page that "downer ending" is exactly what you were going for.

All in all, though, I get a similar feeling from this story that I got from Dark Pink. It's incredibly well-written, and that quality of writing manages to carry me through a story that I would ordinarily describe as "not for me", because I am a simple person and like happy endings. I think that's a testament to how talented you seem to be at writing.

Serial killers in Ponyville? Pshaw. Just don’t go in Pinkie’s basement or Shy’s shed. :yay::pinkiehappy:

Minor quibble I feel like “mafia” should be “la cosa neighstra” or something more in-universe.

...That ending was unexpected. I'd almost feel sorry for Apple Bloom, but...

Thank you. We really need more stories like this :twilightsmile:

When Winona was playing fetch with the entity I was actually thinking the switch had already taken place. Ship of Thesius style, you are your experiences, memories, and personality. The entity, wanting to escape to the material, turned itself into Applebloom. To the point it maybe thinks it is. In our PoV character we see the effect of that draining on her mind as madness, severe antisocial behavior. Now seperate from the material and that solidity of reality and body, AB will continue losing herself until she is a creature of shadow just as alien as the entity was.
Until it figures out how to get back, and does the same to some other pony to anchor itself in the material. By becoming them and sending the shade of that pony to the same half-life it was trapped in to become another malignant entity.
Don't know if the entity was originally ABs dad, if so it wasn't her dad by the time the camera was found again in my opinion. The death of both parents implies to my that ABs mom noticed something wrong and possibly spoiled the transfer. Or recognized that he was no longer her husband and killed him and herself in a murder-suicide.

Yeah, that is how your stories go. As dark and tragic as possible without becoming comedies. Loved it.

11419463
There's not really one thing I can point to as inspiration. It's more like the feeling of a lot of things put in a blender. It's the atmosphere of Serial Experiments Lain. It's the creepy parallel world in Insidious. It's the grotesque artwork from Carousel. The tragically forever unfinished Something's Happened to Scootaloo. It's the story, The Drum from More Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark. Something about that weird ending was really psychologically unsettling to me as a kid and it just stuck with me. I wanted to do something that felt like that.

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