Imprisoned (without charges) by the Paw Patrol
It was a normal life, until Twilight Sparkle fell out of time and into her lap. Then things started getting complicated.
100 words. Fragments of a life. Each year, every year: as the years march forward, unstoppable, unceasing, Granny Smith wonders what it all adds up to.
An entry for Bicyclette's Crackshipping Contest!
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what a weird but sweet stroy
wow….that was a wild ride.
The gradual growth and maturity of Granny Smith was done so well that I have to applaud you.
And even though huge chunks are missing, it’s still complete and makes you live each of these moments along side her.
This was beautiful.
Nice and unique.
Absolutely beautiful and utterly heartbreaking... and yet, I feel overwhelmingly happy here at the end of it all. Your poetic style is so unique and incredible. You say so much in so few words. I'm left feeling like I really did get to gaze into Smith's life and understand what made her the mare she is. Your talent for communicating enormous concepts and emotions - whole lives of emotions - in just a few thousand words is incredible. Outrageous, even. Hell, you said more with a wordless chapter than many authors can say in a whole story.
One of my favorite works on the site. I know I'll be returning to it often - probably tomorrow. Thank you for sharing your work with us
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Hey, sorry for the late response, but I just wanted to say I super appreciate this! Literally the sort of comment that makes all the hours at the keyboard feel suddenly worthwhile, I'm really glad you enjoyed it.
this fic utterly destroyed me. i will come back to it again, hopefully soon, to leave a proper comment, and i really look forward to being destroyed a fourth time. even without daring to read a word of it again as i write this, the very act of remembering this story is putting tears in my eyes.
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I look foward to it! Sorry about the tears, but also not sorry at all. One of the best compliments I could recieve.
This sentence:
Made me realize exactly how the setting and the 100-word limitation work so well together. Loving it so far.
Perfect way to wrap this story up. I'll be able to give my full thoughts in the near future, but suffice to say this is one of the most memorable stories I've read in recent years and absolutely merits additional reads.
oh this was fantastic. i adored the experimental style
and the story starts in the womb, the literal beginning of this life lived in hundreds, augh there is something so beautiful about that, and of course the poetry in this mess of stimuli being the only way to describe the experiences of a being not yet old enough for coherent thought
noting Grampa and Gramma's smell, the wrinkly-nose smoke just hits differently on this repeat reading and augh, yeah. we only know Granny Smith as distinctly old and wrinkled and one can imagine having that slightly sweet smell that old people seem to have, but just like that her own grandparents only exist in that stage of their lives for her! and augh the confusion at everyone else's joy at witnessing her first steps, there is something so precious about that
aww, the innocence! i'm reading this as Smith not understanding that Pearly tripped her and blaming it on the root of a tree? that would definitely add a layer to her comforting Pearly here. and the sentences are another step up in sophistication, but with the young child's overapplication of production rules resulting in things like "hurted", and between that and the capitalization of Important Words it really feels like one of those 19th century novels of being a child growing up in the prairie or the Midwest that i vaguely remember from school. and the bit about "Discord Himself" re-inforces that feeling of course
and the first mention of a tree, named and anthropomorphized and everything! that is going to hit me later argh
i mean it'd be odd to quote pieces when the chapters are only 100w long but i am tempted because both "seen it actual" and the way the first clause of the last sentence lacks a verb but doesn't need it are just so pretty. "follow birds" sounds like an adult's explanation to a young child when they wouldn't understand adult issues like finances and opportunities and such.
aww, and the bond between her and Pearly forming! what an adorable moment of solidarity in being in trouble together. the "all his shouting red behind" tells us all the description we need about Pa for this chapter in just five words, too
"whose song was soft as feather-fur", argh, i wish i could write with soft brushstrokes like this! and here, the first hint of certain feelings though of course Smith is too young to understand yet
and augh this is where Pearly leaves the story isn't it, at least physically? because their two families split ways in this continent-crossing journey of resettlement? though i get the odd sense that i missed something deeper here. augh. these wonderful short chapters! it's strange how because of the structure it's difficult to be sure exactly what is going on in terms of the events but it feels like i understand the feeling it's trying to convey. the idea of "she never came" just extending on to forever from this point, the pain and loss from it hollowing her out. and she's just a child here, with no control over the decisions made by grown-up that affect her life so deeply, a preview of how the world works as well
and of course "Race ya!" belongs to Pearly, but Apple Rose doesn't know that at all. or is it more that fear of being swallowed up by strange and endless blue? and here Apple Rose looks like the one who is young and innocent as compared to Smith, setting up her role as the older sister later, if i'm remembering right? augh, the ocean really does feel like a metaphor for something, but i'm not sure what. love just being here, though
ah and this makes me rethink what had happened to Pearly, which reads now as losing her to an illness or accident (an illness foreshadowed?), if bringing up her name is enough to distress her mother. and augh, because this is also a bit of rebellion against her mother, deliberately stabbing the needle into herself, that also brings back to mind Pearly.
and this brings to mind the chapter with the tree root and the tripping and augh. the sad authenticity in Pa's way of doing caring, loving parenting here. hard to imagine it being taken in the same context now, but very easy for then
and the trees come back to the story! and that she's doing this planting without knowing what is to happen to them, and only able to wonder. are all trees planted in this way? or at the very least, maybe enough for the ones that come up in this story to have been, done by some anonymous pony from the distant past. sh, something to pick up on later
augh, there's something so beautiful in this chapter. it's just a fun game to Smith that she doesn't understand or see as what i see in it as a jaded adult that has spent all of my passion this past year and a half crafting a version of Equestria in my head without comphet present or historic. and agh, idk! this just feels like a piece perfectly sliced out of Smith's fillyhood, just the completely non-self-conscious fun she is having with Apple Rose feels so infectious
and oof, again, not enough pieces to fit together into the details of what exactly happened but enough to understand them. and argh, the contrast with the innocence of the previous chapter makes this hit all the more harder, even moreso that this is only the 13th chapter...
it's just awful, and i can't dwell on this line of thought for too long at a time
and argh, so much being said here. this is Smith seeing the cruelty of age, of seeing her Grampa replaced in the role that he clearly loved dearly. and yet that is what awaits her, too, for being so lucky to live so long. the world passes on to those who are young and at a pace that is now too fast
and i love how this and the previous chapter reflect on the chapters of her fillyhood. possibly bad decisions and misadventures being like planting seeds for the trees that are only enjoyed later, and perhaps only by complete strangers, there's something beautiful in that.
and argh. Smith wondering if there's something wrong with herself, the "That's why she'd chosen him." argh argh argh
aww, it's Minty!
love the effect of the parentheses here, you are always so good at utilizing things like that. it makes the whole thing feel more like i am right there in Smith's mind, even though it's just a literary device, but argh. yes, the staring without realizing she is staring, yes
augh, it's so perfectly teenager how harsh she is with her younger and more innocent self, just like she is with the excitable foals that are just like she once was not too long ago. (also idk, extra cute to imagine them as "squalling" for some reason!)
and of course, i'd easily imagine Granny Smith finding comfort in the little things like the sound of drumming rain. it's interesting how so many little things like this are a full circle, in the end
and a reference to the canon statement about how the Apples got their land, very nice! and with all this atmosphere in the preceding chapters, of only seeing the same ponies that Smith had been traveling with her family for years, the sudden presence of Celestia really is a bolt out of the blue. also very #relatable for her being the prettiest mare Smith's ever seen (haha, foreshadowing her eventual alicorn love maybe) (is the "washed-out painting" a reference to the sepia tone of the flashback? love meta stuff like this!)
and augh, loneliness! Apple Rose being "out tonight. Again." two chapters ago hinted that she and Smith's interests were diverging, but Smith misses her here (guessing that is who she wanted to write to?). and augh, the mention of Pearly at the end. her leaving Smith's life young means she is forever frozen in that context of being two fillies excited to explore the world. as the distance grows, the "would have"s weaken, augh
ah the "she could do worse.", augh. and of course this fills in the history that Smith and Filthy Rich's family have in the canon. but augh, so glad she did not say "yes" because then the rest of this story i love can happen and also just idk i just think of real life and all of the unnamed and unknown millions of women who did say "yes" in this situation and just lived their entire whole entire lives and then died forever thinking that maybe there was something wrong with them, but things weren't so bad because of X, Y, and Z...
and the first barn-raising-centered Apple Family Reunion! augh wonderful stuff, and Apple Rose now being a beloved relative to see and happily catch up with on occasions like this. and time marching on with Grandpa having passed since we last saw him. honestly that part reminded me of my own grandmother when my grandfather gets mentioned, really rings true though i feel "all cleared up by reminiscences" isn't ever quite the whole story there
ah the double-meaning in "if she'd been a stallion" and argh. just idk. this is only my second time reading this fic from the beginning to end but it somehow feels like a favorite scene in a favorite movie i want to go back and rewatch over and over, and this is where i feel all nice and warm that a character i love within it is making her first appearance. her coat being snarled with branches and fluffed up, her panicked and confused self-introduction, just everything is so wonderfully panic-Twilight and i love her so much!
aww, Apple Rose finally sees it! i can just imagine her drunk squint here, and feel Smith's exasperation. also, like argh, those conversations!
hehe, trees are good conversationalists, aren't they? bringing back the earlier chapter of naming Woody as a filly. and this feels like a nice, fun way to illustrate that touch of eccentricity in being alone in her way that Smith has, though from what we saw of Applejack she did inherit her grandmother's tree-anthropomorphizing (hippomorphizing?) tendencies.
aww, all this is just so Twilight! it's funny since it does appropriately feel a bit TwiJack-ish, with Applejack having that self-assured, no-nonsense skepticism in common with Smith here. not to mention finding Twilight Sparkle's contrast (anxious, yes-nonsense skepticism?) charming (i mean who wouldn't? i would)
augh, the having another to show the secret things and places with! and augh, i'm not supposed to begin crying this early, but just this quiet idk excitement? fascination? attraction? about Twilight, i feel just so warmed inside by this. like owl chicks cozy in a secret nest, even!
also love the word "wittering" here, very fun!
Smith thinking about saying no but saying yes instead, the reverse of what she did with Filthy Rich, just so poetic and right
and now i am tearing up. i just love this so much
i might have to steal "purple brow wrinkled in delightful concentration". it's delightful
and echoes back from the time Pa did hit her "for her own good". and just. that last sentence.
how many countless times has it happened? how many more? my heart breaks for all of them, and for Smith
and this loops things back around with the canon. we never hear of any mention of Granny Smith's romantic life, and she's a fixture at the Apple Family Reunion like any other. augh, the double meaning of the last line. that the entire story here happened and nopony knew at all, not the ponies of the present nor the watchers of the show.
owl chicks cozy in a secret nest. something to warm her, unseen and unknown by the ponies around her and argh
something about this is really resonating with me deeply. certain themes that really sit at the heart of my soul
ugh, just the density of these little chapters! "horseshoe that almost fit", words coming with an asterisk, but..., really relatable to me with a certain word. of course, in this story that asterisk is representing that quiet tragedy of not ever being able to go back to being that happy, frivolous, and excited child, loved unconditionally in the bosom of her family, argh.
and of course Twilight would be anxious about such a thing and argh i can't think too hard about what is coming later in the story or i'll begin to cry again like last time.
and just the bite of ‘Not seein grandfoals in our future, Twilight?’. so much i could say about this
the part about Pa having more grey than she remembered. that is exactly where i am now with my parents and it is just so strange. i don't think i'll ever get used to it.
and i'm not in this situation with my parents, but wow do i feel a survivor's guilt there, as few of my friends can say the same. and argh, just knowing how important family is to the very core of Smith, and how much more heartbreaking all this would be for her for it.
and that is what the grey was presaging. augh, that last desperate attempt of her Pa to, if not reconcile, just have that one moment again.
the "isn't/ain't", hinting at Twilight's influence? and yeah, it isn't fair, and augh. i wish there was something i could say, too.
and Twilight achieves enlightenment! it's funny how everything knits together for her at the same point it does for the reader. also fun that Twilight is so disciplined in avoiding anything that might be a time paradox by sticking within the privacy of the Apple Family.
and this is a payoff to the thread of Apple Rose's unhappy love life that has been popping up throughout the story, argh, so good.
oof! and yeah, Smith's flashback and story in the canon was patterned off of American frontier settlers, and this is the other side of that. definitely more true to the patterns of human history than the stories humans tell themselves about themselves.
and of course, there's no mention of Smith's family being unusually reactionary in this society for being so homophobic, but Princess Celestia is legalizing gay marriage anyway. this is pretty much exactly my headcanon on how things work in Equestria, so that is very fun
and argh. this is more than just adorable slice-of-life in this relationship i love. Twilight's mind is still stuck in the future a bit, while Smith is just so very grounded in her present, and that's making me think of what's coming up and augh
augh, calling back the sewing scene from all the way back. and Twilight just integrated into the Apple Family like this, mending the quilt with everypony else all domestic-like, idk, there's something so nice and warm about that. "not terrifically much longer", "dancing in their hooves", just little things that set the atmosphere of the piece so well
and yeah, the Apple Family farmhouse would feel cold and empty with just two ponies in it. and given it's just Smith's direct descendants who live in it in the canon present, i guess this is the point where it is just her (and Twilight). inheriting an empty family house, there's just something to that.
and Smith's rootlessness as a filly is an interesting contrast to how we know she stayed in that same house for decades and decades of her life, now
augh, more slice of life adorableness! and placing us in the context of "The Perfect Pear"'s events.
is just so perfect, i want to hug her.
also, is Tacitus is a reference to the Roman historian of our time? can definitely see this as a classical pegasus name, thus being a general, very fun!
and augh. Smith's foalhood was not too long ago to the reader, but she is separated from it by decades here. there is something somewhat akin to vertigo thinking about a story like this. and just this pure desire to do all she can to give what she had hoped for at that age, i love that