A Night to Remember.
Nightmare Moon had always strived for perfection, even if nopony else ever recognized it.
Every night was a tapestry of stars, a painting that she poured her entire heart and soul into. Every decision was weighed heavily, every word was measured, and every action was well thought.
She did her best for Equestria, without any complaints.
But if ponies still cheered for Celestia, if they still flocked to her sister’s day and ignored her nights, then she’d make them love it. She’d make them all love her. Even if it meant waging war against her own sister.
“It doesn’t have to end this way, Luna!” Celestia cried as their spell clashed in the throne room.
“Luna is gone, dearest sister. If ponies could not adore her, then they shall learn to fear the wrath of Nightmare Moon!” She roared, donning her dark persona as she launched another spell.
“Please, Luna, we can fix this!”
“No! We shall not listen to thee anymore!”
Spells and hexes clashed in a violent flurry as the two sisters fought for power. Bursts of flames danced on columns of ice, while shadows pierced rays of lights, creating a concerto of chaos at they struggled.
“Luna! Please! We can end this now! I don’t want to fight you!”
“But I want to fight you!” She screamed, teleporting away from their fray to retreat into the shadows. “Thou has never understood us! Nopony has! And If we must fight for their love, then we shall!” She roared, pouncing out of the darkness to fire another spell before Celestia teleported away.
“Very well, Luna. You leave me with no choice. But for what it’s worth…. I’m sorry,” she whispered, summoning the Elements of Harmony to her side in a final desperate move.
“Ha! Thou has gone senile, sister! The Elements shan’t work with only one alicorn!”
“Goodbye, Luna,” Celestia whispered, using her magic to bend the artifacts to her will.
Nightmare Moon’s confidence shattered as a harmonic hymn rung out in the air, and the elements began to shine brighter than any of her stars.
It wasn’t possible. It shouldn’t have been possible. They shouldn’t have worked without her! They were supposed to be equals!
But have we ever been equal? She sincerely wondered, watching her sister slowly rise with the Elements.
But, by some twist of fate, an explosion of light erupted in front of the two sisters, blinding them as chaos suddenly engulfed their ruined home.
Celestia and the Elements fell to the ground as the light faded, revealing a vile sight.
“Oh, mother’s milk, that was horrible,” Nightmare’s double groaned, slowly rising from the torn carpet that softened her fall.
She was… small.
A weak reflection wearing a strange brown suit and cap, like some sort of serf who crawled out from the streets.
“Mother’s curses. Discord! This shall be the last time I send your mail!”
“Luna?” Celestia gasped, earning a surprised glance from the fake alicorn.
“Celestia? What are you doing here?”
"What trickery is this?!” Nightmare Moon exclaimed, gaining the intruder’s attention. “Who dares to make a mockery of us!”
“What the? Oh, for mother’s sake. Discord, this is not funny! Come out here, now!”
“Oh, come now, Lulu. You have to admit this is a little funny,” a familiar voice laughed, slithering out of the broken threads of a tapestry.
Nightmare Moon and Celestia stifled a gasp as their greatest foe, the king of madness, reformed before their eyes.
“Discord! What have you done!?” Luna yelled, earning a dismissive wave from the spirit.
“Oh, don’t worry. I just brought you to the day you took a dirt nap on the moon.”
“You did WHAT?!”
“I thought it would be funny,” he defended.
“Well it’s not! I have work to do!”
“Oh please, we have all the time in the world, you know. We can have a little fun, can’t we?” He asked as the two continued to bicker.
Nightmare Moon couldn’t believe her eyes. By some chance, her future self had joined forces with Discord.
It shouldn’t have been possible, even the idea was pure madness. And it seemed like Celestia shared her sentiments.
“Luna… Why... Why are you talking to him so, so casually?”
“Come on, Celly belly, isn’t that obvious? We’re friends of course,” Discord explained, wrapping an arm around Luna as she rolled her eyes. “I mean, how could I not be friends with a mare who helped free me?”
“What?!” Celestia shrieked. “Luna, how could you do something so terrible!”
“That was actually your choice, sister,” Luna corrected, before quietly tacking on, “One of many.”
“What? Why, why in all of Equestria would I ever do that?!”
“Ah, I see,” Nightmare Moon hummed, studying the spirit as she trotted down from her throne. “So, in Celestia’s attempts to best us, our sister hath unleashed a monster even worse than the crystal tyrant, Sombra?”
“No,” Luna shook her head. “I… We actually lose tonight and get banished to the moon.”
“…Thou banished us?! Celestia, what the buck! And to our moon of all places?!”
“You were trying to kill me!”
“We were trying to incapacitate you!”
“You tried to stage a coup!”
“And thou banished us to our bucking moon!”
“It wouldn't have been for long!”
“It was a thousand years,” Luna cut in, causing the two alicorns to look back at her.
“A… A thousand…” Celestia stammered, losing her balance as the weight of her revelation fell on her. “I… I had no idea…”
“Thou… Thou art from this twisted future? Both of thee?”
“Yup!” Discord chirped, sitting on a fallen column as he summoned a tea set. “Fluttershy was busy with her grand foals, so I dropped by the post office to give Lulu a visit.”
“A… Post office?”
“I’m a mail mare now!” Luna added, adopting a strained smile as she explained, “I deliver packages and scrolls to the citizens of Equestria. Day or night, rain or snow, Ditzy Doo’s is the way to go.”
“So… We do serf’s work in the future? Oh, how the mighty hath fallen,” Nightmare Moon lamented. “Why would a princess of the night become a mere letter carrier?”
“We aren’t princesses anymore, because we retired... Yaaay,” she sighed with fake cheer.
“Wait, retired?” Celestia asked. “That… That’s a thing? We can do that?”
“Apparently! Not that you bothered to tell me the plan. As usual…”
“Of course, she wouldn’t,” Nightmare Moon hissed. “She hath never treated us as equals! But we can be. Join, us… Me, and together, we shall bring forth everlasting night! Forever!!” She cheered, earning an amused scoff from Discord.
“Oh, boy, here it goes. Now, to sit back, and—”
“Oh, buck yes!” Luna exclaimed, firing a spell at Celestia without hesitation.
Discord’s jaw dropped as Luna threw Celestia through a wall and several floors, before casually tossing her back into the thrones, nearly hitting her younger double in the process.
Using her sister as a wrecking ball, Luna tore the room apart with manic glee as laughter filled the room.
“Um, ooookaaay, this isn’t going anywhere near where I expected this to,” Discord muttered before floating down to Luna’s level. “Um, Loony, isn’t this the part where you have a heartfelt conversation with yourself? You know, work the whole, ‘friendship’ thing?”
“Buck that! I’m taking my life back!” She roared, tearing the Elements away from Celestia and tossing them outside.
“B-but you’re supposed to talk to her! You meet your past self, maybe have a little fight, but end up showing her how much better you are now compared to your past!”
“I am a bucking mail mare, Discord! I used to be an Empress of the Night, and now I work the night shift for minimum wage! How am I any better now?”
“Well-I-um, you have friends?”
“I have a pet opossum and I play checkers with a senile hag on Sundays, while she,” Luna pointed to Nightmare Moon, causing the younger mare to flinch under her gaze. “has an army of loyal soldiers! I don’t even have a single guard after Celestia just made us retire!
“I finally got my throne back after a thousand years, and then I had to hoof it over to some commoners and Celestia’s pretentious pupil!”
“But-but they’re your friends!”
“Really? Because they don’t act like it. Do they ever come to me for advice, or send me nice letters on my birthday? Or maybe even call me with those new-fangled telephones? No, it’s aaaalllways Celestia.
“It’s ‘Oh, Celestia, do you want to see a fashion show,’ or ‘Hey Celly, wanna have a cake eating contest’? Nopony ever calls me about my day! They never invite me to ‘hang'. Well I’ve had enough! I’m taking my life back!” She exclaimed, firing off another spell to knock Celestia down as she struggled to stand.
“Y-yes! Tis a glorious night!” Nightmare Moon cheered from behind one of the pillars. “History hath been made! Do you see sister, we—”
“Can it, this is my monologue!” Luna roared, earning a startled nod from her younger self. “Now, as I was saying, I’m taking my life back. I’m taking my throne, my kingdom, and my moon.”
“Uh, thou surely means ‘we’, yes?” Nightmare Moon sheepishly asked.
“Fine, yeah, whatever. Just, go announce our victory, or something. I still need to repay Celestia for Nightmare Night. And go break the Elements! I don’t want them to bite me in the plot,” she ordered, receiving a hasty nod from her younger self before teleporting away.
“Wait, wait, Wait! Lulu, you can’t be serious! I didn’t bring you here to do this! Is this really what you want?”
“Oh, like you would not believe. I’ve actually fantasized about this quite a lot,” Luna hummed, trotting over to Celestia before unceremoniously lifting her. “And now I can make a few of them real. I think Celestia would make a fine court jester with this hideous mane. Wouldn’t you agree?” she grinned.
“Well… I certainly can’t disagree with that, but I can’t let you do this! I’m sorry, Luna, but this ends here,” Discord stated, raising his talons to snap reality back to normal before a wave of rainbows bursting through the walls.
“Oh… Buck me.”
A column of rainbows washed over him as Luna stepped away, watching the spirit slowly turn to stone with a soundless cry for help.
“Please work, please work, please work!” Nightmare Moon repeated, galloping into the throne room with the Elements in hoof.
“Excellent aim, my younger sister!” Luna exclaimed, wrapping her twin in a tight embrace. “You managed to imprison Discord right before he sent me back!”
“Oh, y-yes! We are so happy that we hit him! That was the plan, of course!”
“Indeed. I know thou would never betray me. Riiight?”
“A-absolutly not! We would never dream of it! Heh-heh-heee….”
“Good. Now, we should start preparing,” Luna decided, breaking off their hug as she trotted towards Discord’s statue. “Without doubt, he will surely return one day to undo this gift. Before then, we shall prepare for it. Nightmare, summon our best sorcerers and find Starswirl’s mirror.
“Oh, and we should probably free that old goat from Purgatory as well. Oh, there’s so much to be done!” She cheered, trotting like a gleeful filly as she sat on her old throne.
With a long and content sigh, she leaned back into the old familiar embrace of her chair. “Ahhhh… It’s good to be queen.”
“Um, Co-Queen, right?”
“Shut up and get to work!”
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LOL
11113138
Um... Did you mean to comment something? Also, how did you post nothing? That's actually kind of cool.
Luna
11113162
Thank you!
Celestia actually having to pay attention to her sister is interesting considering I never thought nightmare was the first time she realized that she had been ignoring her sister and her way of erasing everything that was about her sister except one children's book day speak of love.
And that is why you don't use time traveling spell people will take advantage of it look what happened in Back to the Future Part 2 it was a pretty interesting twist here but pretty good keep up the good work
Did Celestia and Luna drink their way through their retirement fund or something
?
11113172
I'd like to imagine that Luna was drinking her sorrows away while Celestia bought a golden lounge chair and a dozen cakes.
"It's fine, Luna. We have all the money we'll ever need."
"We don't get tax money anymore. We have to pay taxes!"
11113174
Or maybe it was the classic:
Anyway, are you planning a squeal (... triquel?) where Discord fixes everything?
11113179
I have an idea, but I'm not too sure. For a while, this story was going to be a copy and paste of Time Travel Trip, where Luna beat her younger self, events unfolded the way they were supposed to, yada yada yada. But I didn't want to give people just the same story but with a different skin.
If I do make a sequel it'd be a bit longer and have a certain kite loving cultist tumble through time.
Certainly funny to read.
11113181
Ah, yes, her... what could possibly go wrong
what happened to celestia?
Luna was picking her up then Luna dodged the rainbow beam with discord being stoned, but thencelestia seems to disapear
11113280
She's slumped on the floor. Didn't feel like she was too relevant once she was knocked out.
This didn't go as expected.
Outstanding.
In the immortal words of Johnney Test. "Wow I didn't see that coming"
wondering in the original universe, will anyone notice that Luna is missing?
11113375
"Hey, boss. Luna hasn't shown up for work in like... Three months."
"Really? Who was she sending mail for?"
"Uh... Looks like it was Discord."
"She's dead."
"W-what?"
"She's dead. Let's just hire somepony new."
"B-but what about--"
"I'll put up a few fliers in town, you go hit Cloudsdale and look for a bat pony."
golden earring?
nah, it's lulu, probably silvery . .
11113384
Can't believe I missed that. Thanks!
11113387
On the other hand, that was the only one i caught.
That is pretty good at the word count.
I love everything about this story, and it perfectly encapsulates everything that bugged me about how the writers failed to utilize Luna. 10/10, made my day.
(Don't mean to nitpick, but I foud two...not typos, but accidental word substitutions.)
11113485
Awesome. Thanks for pointing these out. Man, I really can't believe I let that slip by.
That was ace :o) She totally went feral :D
well, it was. Just not the way you were expecting
That was a really good story I hope Luna enjoys her victory why it last.
MEANWHILE IN THE FUTURE
*Boop boop boop*
"Twilight!"
"Yes starlight?"
"Somepony is messing with the timestream again, the light went on."
"Is it your past self again?"
"No its not my past self, its the red light not the mauve light."
"...."
"Look I'll go check it out, probably nothing."
"Remember to refill the plutonium tank on the time machine!"
"You know I always bring it back with a full tank, when I'm not in a hurry..."
This is a pretty funny and kind of messed up story I like it
I know this is supposed to be a funny one shot, but I really want this to continue as a story
This reminds me of the scene with XL and Nos-4-a2 when they start transforming the universe into wirewolves. Beautiful
11113283
: "Good. Continue to think that until I manage to connect with my older self and clean this whole mess up."
Good story!
I enjoyed reading it.
Visiman discord la cago a lo grande y Luna volvió a sus viejos hábitos de conquista mundial lol aunque espero bastante que no haya noche eterna, porque eso seria catastrófico en varios niveles
11114786
Oh, wow you just slapped me with Nostalgia. God, I forgot about Nos-4-A2. What an amazing villain.
11114940
Lol it's a gift. Nos-4-a2 was glorious because he was unashamedly evil while also being charming and wasn't reformed, which would have been terribly out of character, and instead killed in an absolute brutal way for a kids show. Glorious. I dare say he is even more evil than Zurg. XD
That was not part of the plan for Discord
I laughed way too hard at this. I would enjoy a continuation, but as a one shot, it's perfect.
I really did hate what they did with the last season. Throughout the show Celestia never changed at all and continued to be a giant butt to Luna consistently and never worked on her obscene amount of character flaws after she was de-god'ed into a character role. I really do like the outcome here, but I can't help but feel bad for Nightmare -- she just gets bossed around by Luna
I suppose time is of the essence however to make sure their takeover is guaranteed.
11113283
Ha, I didn't even care enough to notice, she was already dead to me
11113280
I have a theory that she sent the celestial from the past to the future.
I think past celly will want to wring future celly's neck.
11115972
... God damnit, that's actually really clever. Might steal that for a future entry.
If that's okay with you, of course. Really happy you're theorizing about my work!
11116078
no problem
you're welcome
send me the link when it's ready ok?
My money is on Ditzy coming to bring her back.
Because what Luna does on her time is her business but she was at work when she was brought there and neither rain, nor sleet nor time travel shenanigans can stop the deliver of the mail. If you want to rule the world with an iron hoof you can do it after you sign off.
Comedy is hard.
yes! all hail queen luna!!
As interesting as the postal service and mailing system goes, the power of ruling a nation is far better for I can reform the postal service to follow my vision. Pfft, snail mail, more like sloth mail... Who wants that?
-Luna, expressing discontent of the current mail system that she cannot change without consulting Twilight or the Director of Her Majesty's Postal Service(HMPS)
OOF
Cute story. However...
She has two. Why wouldn't she believe them?
11260330
Thank you!
Hahahahahahaha
11113997
Me too hope she have a plan to Supply food without photosynthesis that needs the sun.