A Dish Best Served... Cold.
Sunny, Izzy, and Hitch made their way down a hallway of the castle until they found the room with a small hoofprint sensor. Zipp put her hoof on it to unlock the door, and lead them inside.
Pipp had already set up several portable studio lights, and her phone on a tripod, to film the group of them as they tried one of her favorite dishes.
On a table in the middle of the room was a small can of the seaside delicacy. There were also a few trash cans, some counters, and a sink. The room looked like a small break room and kitchen for the castle’s serving staff.
“Hey Pipp!” Sunny smiled as she walked into the room. “We’re here. Zipp said you needed our help for a viral video and it sounded like it’d be fun to help out.”
“Yeah, I’ve never gone viral before, except for the time I got the horn flu.” Izzy explored the room, sizing up various bits of cooking ware and imagining the kinds of things she could make out of them. She ended her tour by a small light switch, flicking it up and down to turn the studio lighting on and off.
“Yeah, thanks girls,” Pipp said. “This Surströmming is my favorite dish. We have to import it from a small fishing village in the north.”
Hitch went over to the can, reading the label on the side. “I’ve done a bit of fishing myself, but I’ve never heard of this before. Why is the can so… round?” He poked it with a hoof, the metal tin seemed to resemble a balloon more than a can of tuna.
“It’s supposed to be like that, on account of the fermentation,” Zipp explained.
“Well we’re all here and I think we’re just about ready. Feel free to take a seat near the table. The painting tape on the ground will help mark out the edges of what the camera can see, so try to stay inside the lines and just react…” Pipp bit her lip to stifle a laugh. “Normally.”
Izzy was first to find a seat, climbing up and staring at the can with a gleam of wonder in her eye.
Sunny sat down next, followed by Hitch, while Zipp seemed to be moving a microphone and helping set up. She also closed the door to keep out any unwanted noise from the outside.
Zipp started to count down for her sister. “Three, two, one…”
“Hey Pipp squeaks! I’m coming to you live today with a very special viral video including my best friends, the ponies who returned magic to Equestria! They’re going to try Surströmming for the very first time!”
Sunny smiled as she watched Pipp speak into the camera, and turned her head noticing Zipp wearing something odd. “Hey, Zipp, what’s that mask for?”
Zipp pressed something on the canister attached to the rubber face mask, and looked over at Sunny. “Oh, uh… I’m allergic to fish.” She gestured back to Pipp.
“So let’s hear a Pipp Pipp Hooray for my best friends Sunny, Izzy, and Hitch!” Pipp stepped aside so that the three of them would be in the frame. “Go ahead and open it up to try some.”
Hitch took notice of the plates and utensils set out on the table in front of him. There was also a can opener, which he picked up and tried to figure out the best way to open the can. It had no pull tab or markings, he’d probably have to saw through the can the old fashioned way with the small hooked blade on the end of the can opener.
Before he could open the can, Izzy volunteered. “Don’t worry everypony, I’ve got this!”
Izzy hit the edge of the can with a hoof, causing it to bounce up into the air. She began poking into it with her horn, jumped out of her chair, and continued to juggle it in mid air. A spew of fermented liquids and air began spraying out of the can, coating Izzy’s mane quite thoroughly. The unicorn maintained her focus, until finally the can bounced back onto the table and the lid clattered to the floor.
She took a deep breath and shouted “Ta-D—” and immediately broke out into a violent fit of coughing as the smell of year old rotten eggs drenched in sulfur filled her lungs.
And it didn’t smell better on its way back out of her lungs.
Izzy’s eyes, nose, and mouth began to run at the same time as her stomach clenched. She dove to the nearby trash can with such urgency that her horn embedded into the side of the wooden counter. With as much determination and enthusiasm as she had used to restore friendship, Izzy emptied out her lunch, breakfast, and several other day’s worth of meals into the rubbish bin.
Sunny and Hitch could only look on as shock, until the odor of a can full of fish straight from the underworld reached them. It smelled like the lord of Tartarus had made an omelet out of garbage to eternally torment some poor soul for their misdeeds in life.
Sunny was able to keep her calm better than Izzy had, covering her nose and muttering several things that would need to be censored out of the final take of Pipp’s viral video. She looked up and saw Pipp, giggling madly behind the camera tripod holding her phone. The little light was flashing, and Sunny realized she’d be set up for a prank video.
She turned to Zipp next, seeing her standing near the door in her gas mask.
“The door!” Sunny shouted. She dove towards it and spun, kicking it with her back hooves. It didn’t open, and she looked back to notice the hoofprint lock. Only Zipp or Pipp could open it, and she doubted they’d be in a cooperative mood.
Sunny decided to make Zipp more helpful, smirking over at the white pegasus and bearing down on her. “Oh Zipp… why don’t you let me borrow that mask?”
Zipp flared her wings to take off and leap across the room, but Sunny had been ready to pounce. She tackled the pegasus into the floor and the two wrestled their way across the camera shot. Zipp fought valiantly to keep her hooves away from the straps of the gas mask, but Sunny was able to hook one under and tear it off.
She had expected Zipp to open the door to make her own escape. Instead, Zipp’s stomach began to rumble and it sounded like she was about to lose her lunch too. The pegasus took to the air, diving into a small window placed near the ceiling to serve as exhaust for the kitchen’s stove. With a loud bang and some squirming, she managed to force her way through the window and outside into the blessed fresh air.
Sunny grumbled to herself as she put the gas mask on and took a few deep breaths, resisting the urge to choke until it could filter out the stench.
Izzy was trying to pull her horn free and shouting for help. “It’s in my mane! It’s everywhere! The horror! The horror!” As soon as she managed to pull free, she dove for the sink and tried to wash the Surströmming out of her hair. Unfortunately, this just spread the oily substance and furthered the stench in the confined space.
Sunny looked back over to the table at an unexpected sight.
“It’s not bad,” Hitch said. “Could use some toast or something I think.”
“Yeah.” Pipp smiled, sitting across from him and also eating some of the fish delicacy. “It packs a punch the first time but it grows on you. I’m surprised you didn’t mind the smell.”
“Oh.” Hitch rubbed a hoof behind his head. “Actually, I’ve got a sinus infection so I can’t really smell anything at all. Judging by the others, I’m guessing it’s not good?”
Pipp laughed. “Oh it’s like dumping a dozen eggs into a gym bag full of dirty workout clothes, and leaving it out on a long, hot summer day, then shoving somepony into the bag to kidnap them.”
“Wow, that bad?” Hitch gestured over to Izzy. “You know her and Sunny are going to want to get even with a prank of their own.”
“Wait.” Pipp looked around the room. “Where’s Sunny?”
Against the wall below the window, several bits of furniture and a set of shelves had been stacked up. The window was open, and Sunny was nowhere in sight.
Zipp trotted into her room in the castle suites, chuckling to herself as she recalled the horrors of the Surströmming. She thought it might have been a bit cruel, but it was in good fun, and it was just fermented fish.
The door shut itself behind Zipp, causing her to spin around to see how that had happened. Dressed in a gas mask and holding several bright yellow and red cans, and a can opener, was Sunny.
“So you fancy yourself a prankster?” Sunny said. Her voice sounded low and ominous through the gas mask. “You’re not really allergic to fish, are you?”
Zipp gulped, and backed away. “Whoa, Sunny, calm down. I’m not allergic, I just didn’t want to give away the prank.”
“Good, then you won’t mind if I do this.”
She dropped the cans to the ground and raised the can opener up in her hoof.
“Sunny no! Not in my bedroom!” Zipp shouted in horror.
And Sunny began stabbing several of the cans open.
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Looking forward to reading this!
Hilarious!
My only issue with this story is that I think Surstromming should be an Earth pony delicacy, considering their proximity to the sea. Perhaps that's where they get the "rotten sardine smell" stereotype from.
Missed opportunity there...
Fun fact, people who actually enjoy Surstromming don't eat it indoors and straight out of the can.
From the above video:
As someone who likes durian (another stinky food), I sympathize with Pipp. I can just imagine the comment thread on Pipp's livestream: "DON'T DO IT SUNNY!!!11!!!!1"
I am actively angry that I didn't think of this myself. Upvoted.
I have been told of an... incident, shall we say, at the school I went to in my younger days. Mind you, this happened after my final year, so I wasn't present to witness the spectacle, but I'll try to summarize.
Anyway, one of the teachers had brought a can of Surströmming with him one day, and one of the students found said can and decided to open it... suffice to say, the room got vacated pretty quickly. It didn't help matters when he decided to toss the thing out the window and down into a sandbox where other students were currently playing around... although I'm told that they scattered in multiple directions very quickly, and that it was quite hilarous to watch.
I believe the classroom was left vacant for a while until the stench had been dealt with.
I can see absolutely nothing wrong with this plan.
11017885
Yep that's the right way to do it.
And here's the wrong way :D
It would have made more sense as an Earth pony thing. It would definitely have explained why Earth ponies, and anything Earth-pony adjacent, smelled like fishes. I needed Pipp to be the instigator though.
11017876
Awesome thanks for the source so I could better credit it, I think the success of this story is 99% the artist's talents and the idea, and 1% mine.
11017888
You can do Surstromming 2: Surstromming Harder. Coming to an enclosed space near you soon.
11017908
I'm glad no one in school thought to try this, they probably had to deep clean the class room and even then I doubt it was enough.
11017885
11017927
In context, it makes sense that it would be a pegasi thing, rather than earth ponies. It's already a pretty common headcanon that pegasi, at least, will eat fish -- and more importantly, if Pipp has been getting this stuff "from a small fishing village up north" and eating it for a while now, that village is almost certainly a pegasus village, since the three tribes were actively avoiding contact or trade with each other until the events of the movie.
I miss Wreckless Eating episode 9...
Welp those rooms of the castle need to be boarded up and abandoned. Cause that smell’s never coming out.
Welp, while we're the subject of unusual foods, allow me to bring up the most unusual thing I have consumed:
Kumis. An alcoholic beverage, very popular in Turkey and Mongolia. A little sour, a little salty, burns on the way down but leaves a refreshing aftertaste.
Made of fermented mare's milk.
If that's not the plot of a clop fic, I don't know what is.
11018054
That is the wildest thing I've heard of, but also, you're right on about it being a good story idea.
The weirdest thing I've seen someone eat was one of those partially-developed chicken eggs. I guess I've never really tried any of the crazy stuff though.
11018031
Surstromming is the real reason Zipp and Pipp are going to move to Maretime bay. Queen Haven will need to build a whole new castle.
11018060
All honesty, no one told me what it was until after I drank it.
Probably not a good habit.
It seems like the prank backfired to Zipp. And poor Izzy, she's gonna need some therapy later.
that was fast
11018074
Sometimes you see something and get inspired and have to write it now while the idea's fresh, which is nice. It takes a lot less planning and obsessing over outlines that way.
11018073
Izzy had it the worst, but maybe one day she'll consider this "The most fun she's ever had getting pranked by a friend!"
Or maybe she'll get even with Pipp, but I don't know how you one-up Surströmming.
11018183
I imagine a few drops of this would do the trick...
See also entry #4 in this video:
11018223 Given how wildly inaccurate they were regarding C2N14, I wouldn't really trust the rest of this.
11018234
Sci Show? Granted this is one of their older videos - 2014 - but their up to four channels with the Sci Show name now. The Green brothers did some work with Crash Course too.
11018241 In general? Yes. In this video I think they failed to do the research. An explosives chemist decided to put the C2N14 myths to the test. Yes, it's a super explosive, but it's not as sensitive as they say here. He was able to hit it with a hammer and have it not detonate, and as for heat he could bring it up to its melting point before it exploded.
They sensationalized a lot in this one.
11018054
you're so lucky I've always wanted to try that.
11018054
like from Ghost of Tsumi…
not even going to try and spell the full name of the game.
ive had gefilte fish at least once, maybe twice and im failrly sure ive also tried lutefisk.
And that's how Equestria was unmade. AGAIN.
Hm, it doesn't said who lives in the town. Maybe Queen Haven had secretly been doing buisness with earth ponies for a long time?
11017927
Hmm that guy is going to need a new car.
Hmm isn't Sunny an alicorn? I've not seen the G5 movie so I'm going on just what I've read around...
11018397
She activated the McGuffins that restored Equestria's magic, and in the process she got some spectral wings and a horn. The jury's still out on whether it's permanent or just a result of the magical explosion, since the screen cut to black shortly afterwards.
Here is the source for the cover pic
https://www.deviantart.com/uotapo/art/I-ll-open-the-can-895013293
*nom
...
"Yup, tastes like shit."
11018460
Nope. It tastes mostly salty, with enough umami after that. Not that bad. And after draining it doesn't even smell particularly strong. Personally it's not worth the price [one can is about 25 euro plus shipping]
11017927
Actually, with the earth ponies being *on* the sea, I think it does generally make more sense for pegasi - why would earth ponies need to put this much effort into preserving fish that are *right there*?
Now, of course, the real question:
Will Pipp go along with it if Sunny counters with casu marzu, which is a coastal/island food?
(If you look it up, do not be eating. Especially not cheese. ESPECIALLY not through image search.)
11018073
And a wig, I suspect.
The most important think to know about eating Surstromming?
DON'T!
11018060
First of all, balut is not weird and the best ones to eat by themselves are the duck egg versions. Second of all, you're supposed to open up the can of surstromming underwater. Third of all, durian or fermented durian needs to be next
11018507
Casu Marzu is... Fermented cheese with live insect larvae? So It's both aged, and fresh, at the same time. I love it. Pipp should definitely have one of those "sub goals" to eat some of it, and all 100 subs would be gifted by Sunny.
11018564
Oh yeah, weirdness is subjective and western diets are pretty vanilla. There's a lot of interesting cuisine out there if you know how to prepare and serve it. Balut is an easy example because you can get it from vending machines in a lot of places. Everyone eats eggs, so it's relatable, and it looks a lot worse than it actually is. I hear it's a bit salty and the beak is crunchy but it's not bad.
11018587
And also have a discussion on the video about the greatest debate surrounding it:
Do you, or do you not, knock the maggots out before you eat it.
11018590
I'm from Vietnam, balut is pretty much our equivalent of a hot dog. Also, its not salty and if the beak is crunchy, the egg is overdeveloped. Once again, durian or fermented durian needs to be next
Zipp came prepared.
11018614
I don't know why, but fermented durian sounds pretty good... like it'd hardly be punishing Pipp. Fruit usually gets sweeter and more alcoholic when fermented?
11018704
https://www.finedininglovers.com/article/durian-whisky-now-thing-and-it-tastes-milkshake
*Later on*
Pipp was live streaming to her fans when she got a notification, a few actually, that all said the same thing: "Look behind you!"
Turning around she saw none other than Izzy standing there, wearing a gas mask, and holding thirty cans of Surströmming in her magic, each with a can opener ready to pierce the lids.
"So..." Izzy slowly said, her voice sounding deep through the mask. "I will admit that was a good prank, but you forgot one thing: Payback is a pain in the flank."
"IZZY DON'T-!"
Too late. With a demented laugh Izzy stabbed the openers into the lids and twisted.
If a friend of mine did what Pipp did, that's just how I'd get payback. Overkill sure but...
Pipp did say that Surströmming is her favorite dish, so she would know how to prepare it before eating or opening the can, but I don't think even she can handle the smell.
Never tried or even seen a Surströmming can IRL, but I have heard how bad the smell is.
Which makes me wonder how bad thirty cans would be.
Well, that’s pretty much every non-machine-washable keepsake in her bedroom in the trash.
If you want to try a "training wheels" rough approximation, you can use a tin of kippers and serve them up with the traditional sour cream/(plain) yoghurt, boiled potatoes, and minced red onion/chives.
Mix to combine and serve with flatbread. Yum!
As a Minnesotan, I say. Lutefisk.
11018183
ok its only been two days and its on the front page of the site
11018054
It will also make for a good crackfic... I'd love to see that X'D
Finally got around to reading this.
Sunny should have filmed Zipp's reaction.
My god this is a beautiful mesh of chaos and comedy! Especially that bit at the end, man that was hysterical! Hope ya don't mind, but I couldn't resist making a reading of this beautiful fic of yours!
Audio Linkyloo!: https://youtu.be/BZlFK9rXQX0
(I don't mean to offend anyone with this comment in any way!)
11019900
Thanks again for another reading. I'll put the link in the story later. You must keep pretty busy.