• Member Since 5th Feb, 2018
  • offline last seen 5 hours ago

AzuraKeres


Fimfic Writer, Proofreader and Editor to those who request it, and a sucker for stories with parental themes.

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Sombra and Radiant Hope ventured through every crevice of Equestria to gather the missing pieces of Princess Amore. One day, Sombra discovered the final piece and the return of their loving Princess was nigh.

But what waits for Amore in a world that no longer feels like her own. What purpose could she serve when all of it has been relinquished? And what could she possibly do when she does not understand who exactly she is?


Progress: 02/20

Next: Chapter 3, The Royal


Art Cover commissioned by Doodle-Mark

Chapters (2)
Comments ( 37 )

Very interesting first chapter! I look forward to what happens next!

Comment posted by NebulaNyx deleted February 8th

Seems pretty interesting so far.
Nice to see other bronies that read the IDW comics

This is an interesting start! I'll stick it in my Tracking shelf for now. You should run it by an editor, though— you've got a bunch of tense switching and other oopses going on.
There are actually a few reasons based on show and book canon (see Twilight Sparkle and the Crystal Heart Spell) that Amore can't be Cadance's mother, but that's why AU's exist, innit?

Seems fitting for Flurry to be a key to her grandmother recovering her memories. Which since she has her personality are still in there, but clearly being crystalized smashed and reconstructed left her brain a bit scrambled.
Hopefully her Cousins will come vist too.

Very nice start! Plus, I'm a sucker for fanfics that pay homage to the comics which is sadly often overshadowed by the show.

Nice story. But I need some context, when did Sombra become a good guy in this?

10669023
This is from the comic timeline where Sombra is swayed by Radiant Hope to defy his destiny as a Tyrant has turned into a real unicorn thanks to the efforts from the Princesses.
2.bp.blogspot.com/5xu_5Ws7kVdvuCfdAiiY0__wlgkogxZyQerikPykgCb4MWPZvO6fWwGxgp-RjNirSJDLMQ0DW2UO=s1600

10669032
Oh, Hmm. I’ll have to check that comic out. Thanks man.

10668828
Same. I was much more satisfied with his Siege Of The Crystal Empire depiction (👍👌) than his Beginning Of The End portrayal (👎🖕).

10669535
:eeyup:
You have no idea how badly I wanted to see that entire "Saga" be brought into the show. I'd even accept them saying: "Hey look, The Mirror can go to other realities like it does with Sunset Shimmer's world." and I'd be happy with that so long as they animate the comic to absolute accuracy.

FINALLY A PRINCESS AMORE FIC WITH CADANCE AND STUFF YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

10669535
So much yes.


(sudden thought) I just remembered a funny idea back when that horribly cheesy "re-incarnated" Sombra was brought about, the idea basically suggested that yes unfortunately what we got was the real Sombra, but after a thousand years of being trapped in the icy climes of the crystal empire gave him a wicked sore throat/head cold (dark raspy CRYSTALLSSSS!)

Okay, so I really like the premise set for this story. But as it stands, it needs a little bit of clean-up work. I am not a trained pro, but I would not be against offering what little help I can to give you editing advice.

Can't wait to see where this story goes

“Wha…” Amore’s eyes peeled open before a bright light. The flash of light burned Amore’s eyes for only a moment before being saved by the shadow of her daughter. Princess Cadance vegetables stared down upon with troubled violet eyes.

Princess Cadance 'vegetables'?

10694100
Looks like you beat me to it. I was about to do the same thing.

What are Princess Cadence 'vegetables'?

“Last year, there was a surplus of tax leftover from reconstructions,” Shining explained. “Cadance noticed all the usual playgrounds around the empire had crumbled from an indecent during the Crystalling. We could have simply rebuilt them to their former glory, but Cadance wanted to make something grand for Flurry and the foals to revel in.”

I presume this should be 'incident'.

Interesting end to the chapter. Is Sombra going to be a recurring character?

Removing the hood might not make Flurry friendly to him considering the first time she met Sombra he kidnapped her. Though she wouldn't afraid of him so much as angry.

10694121
It would make sense, she has amnesia because of what he did to her, his guilt will remain fueling his desire to make things right. He figuratively and literally broke her, Sombra won't be at peace till she's mentally whole as well.

10694100
Lol! How!? How did that happen!?😂

10694121
Definitely. Sombra is one of the main characters.

10694183
I admit that's one of the more unique misspellings I've seen. And amusing. The 'sex' tag could have made that mishap turn into something completely different.

Seriously now, no worries. Mistakes happen. It's our job as readers to rub your nose in them. :rainbowlaugh:

10694150
Actually, in this universe, that never happened. From the comics, Sombra's redemption occurred before the birth of Flurry. So, this chapter is pretty much their first meeting.

Or I should say their first time interacting with one another.

10694183
So what is that word supposed to be then?

10694203
Nothing, actually. "vegetable" was somehow slapped into that sentence. I honestly don't how that happen. Probably when I ran the document through ProWritingAid.

10694207
Well that's certainly odd

But when Amore opened her eyes, she found her granddaughter now before her.

I know what you're trying to say, but this is saying the exact opposite. I'm guessing you meant something along the lines of 'nowhere near her'?

And as a whole, you really should run your chapters by an editor. There's a lot to be fixed here, too (though there were very few issues with tense switching compared to last chapter, so good job with that). Sorry if I'm being 'that guy,' but, y'know... it's m'job. Literally. All that aside—

I love where this is going. Amore interacting with her new family, regaining her memories, and trying to bring Sombra into the light (figuratively and literally) all at the same time might be tough for her, but I think she's up to it. Personally, I don't think I'd ever be able to call my mother-in-law straight-up 'Mother'— it would just feel way too weird. Good on Shining for indulging Amore in that regard.

10694281
No trouble, friend. It's actually much appreciated. Revealing my specific errors offers me a chance to avoid them in future writing. However, I'll be sure to find an editor for this story.

“Yeah,” Cadance said, averting her gaze from her mother. “You could say that.”

Oh ho :trollestia:

“That day when she made all of our guards fall for each other is still vivid in my memories,” Cadance said. “It happened the day after I read her a romantic story about the prince frog and mare.”

Sounds like an interesting day :trollestia:

10694207
Maybe you suddenly got an unexplainable craving for vegetables while writing :trollestia:

Personally in the comic I always felt she deserved what she got. Sombra couldn't help that he only was a pony on the outside not the inside. She knew the crystal heart was hurting him and didn't do anything to help him. She could have sent him anyway where he could be healthy and happy.

This is going pretty good. I hope she gets her memories back eventually

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