• Member Since 5th Feb, 2018
  • offline last seen Nov 21st, 2023

AzuraKeres


Fimfic Writer, Proofreader and Editor to those who request it, and a sucker for stories with parental themes.

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After the coronation of Princess Twilight, life continues onwards for creatures in a new era. For Meadowbrook, she continues her life at Hayseed Swamp, enlightening the new generation, contributing all she can to her home and every creature.

But one day, she met a creature she never thought to see to come back to these lands. And to find that creature is such a sorry state, what else could she do but be true to herself.


Entry for May Pairing Contest 2020


Cover art by xbi

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 21 )

Very nice piece of text. Felt a bit rushed, IMO, but a one-shot could be forgiven for that. An unusual pairing - very interesting one. I'd love to see a longer version or a sequel.

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Yeah, there was honestly a lot more I wanted to do with the story, but I got worried I would go over the 10k limit. I'll likely do a sequel to explore those other aspects.

Thank you for reading!

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I can't wait for that, then! I can only imagine reactions of the other pillars of Equestria if they would find out...

nice story i always liked sombra fics like this good to explore his character since we never go to see it in the show

And havethey kissed yet!?

- may be missed space. Or may be not ....

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Your eyes did not deceive you. That's totally missing a space.

Pretty good story... My one suggestion would be to find an editor to help you clean and polish your story. There are a lot of dropped words and fumbled sentences that could do with a good bit of editing. Aside from that, I hope you keep it up!

A very interesting story with a very interesting dilemma and relationship. :eeyup:

At last, I’ve finished reading this story. It attracted my interest particularly because of it having Meadowbrook, who’s my most favorite Pillar of Old Equestria. That, and this story seemed like something unique and new.

I have to admit, I see quite a lot of potential in this concept, and Meadowbrook and Sombra make quite a pair. I can’t help but particularly see this as a romantic-comedy among others.

The only trouble is that I wish this story could’ve been more than a one-shot. I feel that it should’ve been a multi-chapter fic instead, because that would give the concept a chance to breathe and express itself visually rather than just explain past events.

An example being this moment:

It all began when she went on a forage to replenish her supplies. In a clustered forest of the swamp, Meadowbrook happened upon a black blob that shuffled about within a burrow. Meadowbrook noticed how it struggled to get out. So, she gave the creature a hoof for it to climb on to get out.

Meadowbrook placed her hoof on the ground for it to slither onto, but oddly, the blob chose not to detach itself from her. She could feel a constant quiver from the blob’s form as if it was shivering in coldness. Meadowbrook grew unnerved as it attempted to slither up her leg.

Meadowbrook grabbed the blob with another hoof and tried to set it down on the grass, but it refused to let go of her. It was then she realized that those quivers were growing slower. Out of curiosity, Meadowbrook pressed her hoof upon it to see if she could feel any cadence of a heartbeat.

It was slow. Meadowbrook was unsure if this was natural for a creature like this, but now she couldn’t leave it alone until she was certain. And so, she decided to end her forage early and took the creature to her hut. Its wild retaliation to the sunlight led Meadowbrook to store it into her saddlebag and remove as much sunlight as could from within her hut to keep the creature calm.

Days went by as Meadowbrook applied numerous healing herbs and ointment upon the creature, hoping for any sort of positive feedback to assure her that it was improving. What she received was far from what she expected.

Daily, the form of the black blob expanded and gradually it began to grow limbs similar to a pony. She did not bother to burden her pupils or neighbors of the blob, seeking to resolve this mystery on her own. She contained it in a small cage for precautionary measures, however, the blob continued to grow more and more where she had to go out and purchase an even larger one.

After two weeks of her care, the blob revealed its pony form to her. She was shocked to discover that this whole time that she was caring for the menacing tyrant of the Crystal Empire.

His presence didn’t make sense to her. From what she recalled, Twilight and her friends ensured his end when they unraveled a secret power within their friendship. He should have perished from their power, and yet here he laid bony and resentful in his cage.

I feel that this should’ve been made into its own chapter rather than just be a bunch of paragraphs explaining something that happened before.

Other than that, there were quite a bit of grammatical errors as well, and everything felt like a bunch of plot pieces crammed together and didn’t seem to have enough time to develop because of being miscast as a one-shot.

I’m not sure whether it’d be my place, but, might I suggest remaking this story into a multi-chapter? Mainly so that the story could have a chance to express itself visually rather than consist of a bunch of paragraphs explaining stuff? And so that things could develop more, such as the likely romance and chemistry between Meadowbrook and Sombra?

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I think it's evident I have an issue when writing a short story. I have so many plot points that I want to add, but when constricted under the word cap (for this contest it was 10,000), I aimed to trim it as much as possible. There is a very good likelihood that I will expand this story. For some reason, Meadowbrook doesn't have that many stories and that irks me a bit.

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So, you’ll remake this into a longer story in the future?

Would it be okay if I offered ideas on what a remake of this story would look like? Such as what a chapter depicting Meadowbrook meeting Sombra would look like?

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If you like to give recommendations, I don't mind you PM them to me.

This strangely works. Also, I see you changed Sombra's backstory from the one in the comics.

This... works well. It's brilliant, actually. I'd love a sequel.

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Here’s the multi-chapter edition of the story made by the same author, in case you guys want to check it out or don’t know about it yet:

THealing Shadows (2e)
On her scavenge for volt shrooms in the bayou, Meadowbrook comes across a shadow that will alter her future for the good and worst. Follow her tale of love, hope, and despair as tries to build a future with a stallion trapped in the past.
AzuraKeres · 25k words  ·  41  3 · 851 views

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Thanks! I appreciate it. :pinkiesmile:

Cattail was a descendant of hers that was the only one to remain in Hayseed Swamp. Meadowbrook was mixed with excitement, anxiety, and sorrow to meet her new family members. It was somewhat calming to know that she still had a family after all these years, but that also meant the bond she had with those long ago was now forever gone due to her long entrapment in limbo.

That's my only question I've always wondered I know how Rockhoof been feeling but what about the rest of them I'm sure they're feeling the same way as him

Wow this is a pretty interesting story specially how Meadowbrook been doing lately but it looks like she's been pretty busy and also healing a very Tyrant Pony King Sombra it looks like he was able to survive the rainbow Blast from the last time but it also severe him that he can never use magic again and Meadowbrook is been helping him even though he can be very ungrateful she must have a very strong patient to deal with that pony but it's a very nice interaction with them and it looks like King Sombra just realized something there's no way he can't go back to the Crystal Empire not without his magic and everything that he worked throughout the past was a failure even losing the pony who actually cared about him and it looks like Meadowbrook and King Sombra have in common with each other both of them came from a Thousand Years limbo and whatever how long he was waited and all the ponies they knew are gone now they probably have each other knowing how that feels this was a pretty good story keep up the good work

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