• Member Since 3rd Jul, 2017
  • offline last seen Yesterday

Creativa-Artly01


Epileptic-autistic eldest of four, artist, creative, and horse crazy girl who is obsessed with entertainment media and history among other things.

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Cadence, feeling sorry for all the orphans in her empire founds an orphanage for them and has all of them open the orphanage right alongside her when the big day finally rolls around.

Chapters (22)
Comments ( 51 )

to short of chapters. you are going way to fast

Good idea, but needs a LOT of elaboration and smooth, gradual pacing. Needs heavy editing.

Not a bad try, but a good story needs an obstacle. It can be anything from nature to Tirek. It's a bit hard to find someone that would oppose an orphanage. If it helps try to think of the setting a bit more. Do ponies let foals live on the street and not feel a bit of guilt? How do homeless foals normally live? Where do they eat? Sleep?

Other people said this but the chapters are too short. I think 1k words might be the minimum.

9030872
Another thing to think about is how your protagonist grows and changes in response to the challenges that face them. What is your character's journey as a person?

It's good to see the orphan aspect of Cadance's character being dealt with, not many stories do. Perhaps because it only is featured in secondary canon sources?

This is excellent. I honestly adore how Cadence is bonding with the orphaned ponies.

I really like how the story is progressing. Also the word "boys" in one sentence should actually be "colts."

9034601
Thanks. That's since been fixed.

9030611
Chapters are getting a bit longer. I always tend to use a balance of shorter and longer chapters if you look at my other works tho.

I like how Cadence is hiring older ponies to help run the orphanage when it's complete.

9064069
Thanks. One note though, Crosslin is younger than her.

Well, I'm most elated that Cadence has finally finished the orphanage. Now all the orphans in the Crystal Empire have a place to stay.

I really loved how Cadence sang Flurry to sleep.

When will some ponies start adopting these precious orphans?

9072498
New chapter is up, first adoption chapter btw.

Huzzah for the first adoption!

Do you suppose a dangerous creature may have caused the fire?

Well, at least we now know what caused the fire in the High Horse Valley.

Another adoption story chapter is finished. Enjoy!

This chapter felt shorter than the previous, but it was a sweet one nonetheless.

I probably wouldn’t have found this story for a long time, if ever, if it hadn’t been updated

10491412
I really like it. I love the idea of Cadence opening up a orphanage in the Crystal Empire. I bet that she told Celestia and Luna about it.

I really love this story, it's sweet and if I have to wait years for an update so be it.

keep it up. might be short, but the idea is neat, and it's a good slice of life.

Welcome back

10823102
Thanks. I hope you enjoyed the new chapters.

10823104
I did. I know how it feels being separated from siblings.

10823108
Do you mind sharing? I don’t mean to pry or offend.

10823113
My sister's and I were put in foster care.i went to one home and they both went to another. It never went well for them. Constantly in and out of homes over the years

10823142
Oh, sorry to hear that. Do y’all keep in touch? If you want you can help me on similar chapters in the future. Did you like how I kept the sisters together???

10823164
i approved, and yea- we had visits and what not. but as im sure you know- the damage was done. eldest took it the worse. middle kid has a family now, and comes by for family get togethers. which is nice.

10823302
I wasn’t adopted or ever went through foster care myself ever but some of my close friends were adoptees. One always ended up with abusive adoptive families and it finally took its toll on her in 2018, she passed before our senior year of high school from all the abuse.

As for me, I’m the eldest of four siblings and we all live with our single mom. Dad passed in 2019.

10823378
sorry to hear that.

again, nobody doing anything about it cost another life

10823382
Thanks. Ebony was a real sweetheart and one of my best friends.

I live the story it's so cute

So sweet she is doing this for them

She has a loving staff or orphanage I like this

I'm happy they got the orphanage finished and everyone is happy now

yea... infants aren't a common go to. they will likely spend a few years ther ebefore getting picked as a young filly or colt.

I love Orange blossom did she found the forever home all on her own and wait that was cute

As she walks, she can’t stop thinking about what Cadence went through as a filly and how hard losing her mom and aunt had been for her. She has to learn more about that umbra attack and why it happened all those years ago. For Cadence’s sake, that is.

is there a part 2 ?

10876749
A follow up chapter to this is coming eventually, so don’t worry. A full follow-up story may come eventually but we’ll see.

This is a very touching chapter

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