Being brought back from death by his supporters and overthrowing Cadance has given Sombra a valuable hoofhold in Equestria. Yet to stand against his enemies, he might have to offer the unthinkable to a questionable ally.
Can a diabolic king survive a devilish queen?
*Entry in Equestria at War's 2019 Write off , Edit: First place winner!
*Self-contained story with outside knowledge of the EaW AU not needed other than it's an industrialized version of S6 MLP and the Changeling Lands border the Crystal Empire.
*A refresher for Radiant Hope's backstory in one comic page.
*Teen for talk of war and warfare, some saucy changeling flirting, and mild fighting. Nothing explicit or gory shown.
*Thanks to Clancrusher for his editing help!
*Featured on Seattle's Angels!
*Now with a Fan Spanish translation by spaniard-kiwi!
Where did the cover art comefrom. Is that a real game?
9585520
I'ts Equestria at War a mod for Hearts of Iron 4.
The less brief flick along her eyebrows just made him wonder.
In any case, awesome tale of evil vs. evil, with good looking very nervously to the north. I suppose it's too much to hope that they can convince Discord to go in with a vacuum cleaner and a flyswatter?
Cushion Thorax is Best Thorax
It bothered me a little how often characters didn't use contractions in their dialogue--not sure if that was intentional or not, but I think it often popped out in a bad way.
I enjoyed this, though
9585747
It's the best use of him as well as being an starry-eyed idealist.
Sorry about the lack of contractions! I usually give stories a few more editing passes to sand rough edges like those out but the contest was due today. I appreciate you telling me. I went through and chopped down the words some. Should read better now!
Glad you gave it a read and liked it
9585698
"I'm surprised you have to ask, when your Shakespony explained it all so well."
Radiant Hope, demonstrating once more that the greatest evil is only possible by corrupting virtue.
Thorax as a cushion was just... nice.
Came here on a recommendation from Oliver, didn't regret it.
9591883
Glad you liked it.
(BTW your Sweetie Bot fic is still one of the most unique fics I've ever read / watched)
9585995
The best part of a changeling usually involves being under her flanks. Yes.
This was honestly my favourite entry to the contest, it was a pleasure to review it. I hope the other judges are as kind.
9615186
That makes me smile big time! I'm glad you enjoyed it so much!
Even before the contest I'd been kicking around the idea once I saw that unexpected option in the game and thought how fun it would be to write it out. The contest was a 'Ah ha!' moment for me, and still fun to enter even if I don't end up placing either way.
Foreign observers were sceptical of the marriage's sincerity until they witnessed Chrysalis beaming at her wedding gift from Sombra: the public crucifixion of Thorax the traitor. Like, just when you'd mostly forgotten his vile existence after canon season six, he goes and betrays her again
I liked how you handled all the characters here. Sombra was nicely fleshed out, though the canon-wide battle for fandom affections between him and Chrysalis is hopelessly one-sided for me (for all his plotting, Sombra was defeated in his first appearance by Spike - that's not a villain worth much concern). The OCs mixed in nicely with the canon characters, too. One gets the impression Chrysalis would give half her kingdom for a single competent minion
I have to say one aspect I wasn't too sure about was Radiant Hope - I thought her backstory could have used a bit more explanation. I remembered her name associated with the comics, but not what she did there, or if that was canon to this story.
Best of luck in the contest
9617327
This will turn into a bit of an author’s note:
But yes, Radiant Hope is from the comics. She’s Sombra’s starry-eyed childhood friend who stops him from disintegrating during the yearly crystal fair. She earns her cutie that way and later becomes a ‘doctor’ of a sort. In the sense of being able to walk into an ER and just magic heal hurt ponies.
When Crystal Empire comes back and Sombra gets defeated she organizes all the comic villains at that point (Flim Flam / Lightning Dust / Iron Will / Chrysalis) in a plot to take the crystal heart while she finds Sombra’s broken horn and rezzes him. Then gets moody and sad when you know, bringing back a villain does villainy things.
The Comics get some ire because her characterization sorta swings from being a devious planner, to an innocent ‘I am being tricked and did nothing wrong’ bleeding heart. Plus she is a little one-note. 'I love Sombra!' is her defining character trait. And it doesn't waver even when she's supposedly 1000 years old. I tried to make her at least try to be his counterweight here and not such a doormat.
In the Equestria at war mod, bringing back Sombra is a gameplay event chain where his hidden supporters sort of have a cult, build up a secret presence and then bring back Sombra via corrupting the heart. It’s honestly a better plot line than the comics.
I couldn’t ignore Radiant though. She’s in the game as an advisor and on the decision tree marrying her is the alternative to marrying Chrysalis.
So I tried to blend it a little in this story. Radiant tried to recruit he villains for the comic book plan, but she was too good to be devious, and Chrysalis said no. So they did it the EAW way instead years later.
9617974 Ah, I didn't mean it'd be better to remove her I don't think there's anything wrong with her being there, and she adds some much-needed human interaction to Sombra's side of the story. But the author's note on the cover does say:
...which I don't think is entirely accurate, where Radiant Hope is concerned? So I think I'd maybe include an extra bit in that note about who Radiant Hope is, or possibly explain it more in-story when she appears. I don't know what percentage of fimfic readers have read enough of the comics to know her, but I can't imagine it being all that high?
9618248
Hehehe.
In my original draft of this story. Radiant and Thorax would have a talk after finding each other in the hall like that and have a scene together where they exchange how much desire they have for their counterpart leaders to change. Then talk each other into “Well if we just do this well meaning and idiotic thing then everybody wins!” Along with some shippy quality between the two idealists to mirror the dueling respect Sombra and Chrysalis were building for each other elsewhere.
But I think Clancrusher would have quit as my editor if I wrote any more about Radiant and I think I would have coaxed YOU into giving me a downvote if I gave Thorax much past being a cushion.
Plus drawing the spot light away from the majors for so long to focus on minor characters seemed to kill the pacing. Because honestly, who the heck wants to read about Radiant and Thorax over Chrysalis / Sombra? I cut it partially for pacing and because I only had one chapter with a word limit hanging over my head.
I did try to provide a little background about her though in the story. If you pull out her little tidbits you sort of get the cliff notes:
-
Maybe it wasn’t enough though. Contests can be frustrating. Though I suppose when its over I could go back and revise the story some.
Well, that was something. The AU setting was easier to follow than I was expecting, considering I'm totally unfamiliar with it. Good to see somebody use Radiant Hope, especially in a non-annoying way. The aside scenes with her and Thorax seemed distracting and irrelevant at first, but it all came together in the end; that final scene was such a wonderful clusterfuck of betrayals and convoluted plans. No wonder those two fell for each other. 10/10.
This story blew my expectations out of the water! The pacing was breezy and every character was lively and well-written and, especially in the case of our two leaders, delightfully clever.
Well deserving of its placing in the contest!
9688173
Aww! You are a real sweetheart to say such things! I'm super happy you enjoyed
That was................. different
9585531
Yessss I MUST get it! I just played hoi4 again today. Was just about to comment on the pic, recognized it right away
Such i nerd I came here just because I recognized the pic from one of my fav games
Eu4 is still my top fav tho
Ah, the Equestria at War Hoi4 feature that just didnt make the cut sadly.
10511997
I suppose it would be hard to translate my entire story into HOI events. Though I still got a prize of being made Chrysalis' nuclear theorist in-game
10512029
SO THATS WHERE I RECOGNIZE YOU FROM OHHHHHHHHHHH
10512033
Heee, have a look
But she tolerates him anyway, since quite often Pharynx was proven right in the end.
Heh.
Awww...
That's romantic, right? Right?
So that's technically a promotion for him.
Don't let Chrysalis see those...
Did the nose make an appropriate sound effect?
And if yes, which one?
Good story!
I enjoyed reading it.
But I still have a few questions:
How did Radiant deal with the aftermath?
What will be Thorax next assignment?
Will Trimmel ever put down his headphones?
And how long did it take them to put the Hearth back together?
11065510
I imagine it a bit like ‘doot’ doot’ only with a b.
Heee. I did have a glimmer of a quasi sequel idea. Maybe a little too saucy though. But threesomes are hot.
In the lore of the game one of EaW one of the first things you do as Chrysalis is stamp out the Thorax revolutionaries. I am a softie, though that for as much as he irk’s her he’s still her son. So maybe more time as the hive’s coffee table or somesuch.
One argues he’s the best commander because he doesn’t
After the high stakes drama, they all sit down at the table a bit like a family over the holidays and start working
But seriously. Thank you for reading and commenting. Always makes my day to hear someone enjoy
I can see why this did so well in the EAW contest. It's a fun world to dabble in, isn't it? I wrote focus text and events for Yakistan, Vedina, Manehattan/ELF, and the Confederate breakaway state in the Equestrian civil war. It was great to work on. I wish I could go back, frankly! Something just really enchanting and electric about the mixture of fantasy and the time period. If they open up submissions again you should consider applying!
11082290
Aww, thank you! (I also was so very tickled when you and RTStephens gave it a review for Seattle’s Angels!)
And yes! EaW has so much love and lore put into it. I am happy for writers like yourself who give it flesh and an AU world that’s worth its salt.
I would totally write more for EaW if I just didn’t have so many stories on backburners, sadly! I am worse than GRRM when it comes to trickling out words. I don’t think I could be a steady contributor c_c; Maybe in the future, in that mythical land of 'sometime' when I finally get some long fics out
i-bu-rw-
whWAT? Sombra can marry Chrssy..?
mutters
stupid changelings steam-rolling me every game despite having divisions upon divisions of artillery.
11268754
Sounds like somepony needs to try some more smooching-diplomacy~
11269093
I don't do diplomacy when I have Rosa's blood coven in the Dread League!
...
Most of the time I end up going peaceful just cause I like to create a story in my mind of Rosa's self redemption... I really should play as the other side sometime, I heard you can get her to marry that one griffian from the order of something.
11269541
Hah! Believe it or not, when I was writing this fic, writing out Rosa's arc in story form was something I considered for this very contest. Though the in-game events actually do it enough justice. But to get it you have to play the Arcturian Order. There's a sequence of focuses / events that let you do a sweet little redemption / romance with Rosa.
You still have to hunker down and fend off her attacking hordes before that though
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And here I was considering a way to implement Rosa into one of my work-in-progress yet-to-be-submitted stories because I thought the game didn't do it justice. I'm definitely gonna try that out, but I've been playing HoI for less than a week, I still haven't figured out a decent division template that doesn't get me yeeted by changelings, lets see If I can survive her unholy abominations.
11269680
Hee, I hope you enjoy it! Swing by the Changeling faction sometime and check out who the nuclear theorist is for Chrysalis~
A tip if you start with Arcturian Order, build a bunch of bunkers on the front line and turtle your units evenly along it manually and don't push into Dread league, just basically hold out until you can do the story via focuses to redeem Rosa and stop the attack that way
11269705
I-... Wow... I didn't expect to get an entire story after several, long, laborious years... And yet it was worth it. Unfortunately, she didn't marry, but I got a general.
Whhy, why must do you do this to meee. Now I want to make an independent story focused on Rosa from hopeful necromancy to everything else, but I'm already working on a different story waaahahahaa
Wait... WAT?! You're the nuclear theorist for the changelings?!
wha=-ababh the wawua how-whe
foams at mouth
11270491
I am sure the EaW lovers would love a long form story if you ever get to writing one. It's a great setting!
The cameo was my reward for winning the writing contest. This story won it