• Member Since 2nd Nov, 2012
  • offline last seen 39 minutes ago

Admiral Biscuit


"This was quite well written, and the characters had a very natural feeling back and forth. Shame I didn't like it at all."

T
Source

The weather forecast promised a snowstorm, and the weatherponies delivered a proper blizzard. Blowing snow, low visibility, not weather any pony would want to be out in.

Buttonwood works at the livery, hauling wagons, and wants to save up enough bits to travel to Prance. Trains wait for nopony; loads must be delivered even on the worst days, and she could stay home but if she does, she’ll never save up enough bits for her trip. She knows the roads, the wagons, the shortcuts. She knows a lot of her co-workers won’t show up in such miserable weather, and that means better loads and more bits. Snow won’t stop a motivated pony.


Featured on Equestria Daily

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 74 )

I am now sad :(

I got what I asked for.

I am sad.

Oof, I read the tags, I think "This story probably has this happening", and then I read it anyway. What I expect to happen happens, and I'm sad, despite signing up for this.

Extremely well-written. Gave me feelings. Why do I do this to myself when I know such good writing will make me feel things?

I read the description first and thought to myself 'oh this'll be a nice, hopeful little tale'

Then I read the story... oofta, that hurts

Don't underestimate winter storms, guys.

Stark, poignant, and tragic. I don't often read sadfics, but when I do, I prefer Dos Poñyos. :fluttercry:

This was sad.

Needs something to go with it.
https://youtu.be/NzxQfsq9z9Y

Eggs make her gassy.

Dude. That is literally the entire point of eating eggs. How else are you supposed to fuel the old crop duster?

10208482
I thought the point was that they taste good and are a good healthy source of protein?

a grate story. sad but grate all the same.
now to find happier pony words.

10208615
Nope. Greasy, room clearing farts. You ask anyone, they'll tell you.

For some reason, this made me think of the trucking industry. My dad's a trucker and deals with winter whiteouts on British Columbia's deadliest highways. It's very easy to lose your way, slide off the road, be overloaded in a rush, breakdown, or die. Based on what I just read here, it's accurate to that. Nice work. Grim, but nicely written.

Wow Biscuit, I need my heart. :fluttercry:

Start the day with onion ninjas...Helluva way...

Wow. I came for the tags. and I got the tags.
:raritycry:

That was amazing. Even so, I was so sad my thumb hovered over the downvote button for a second. :fluttercry:

We must not blame the author for characters’ terrible fates. It is expected that they will make their characters suffer.

Amazing work.

Probably get downvoted, but It Occurs To Me that:
1) Just as well that Buttonwood drowned. Barring a miracle, she would undoubtedly have died of hypothermia. This was faster & so she suffered less
2) The money that she was trying to save for her vacation can pay for her funeral

It occurs to me that TOO MUCH Occurs To Me

10208194

I got what I asked for.

:heart:

10208218

Oof, I read the tags, I think "This story probably has this happening", and then I read it anyway. What I expect to happen happens, and I'm sad, despite signing up for this.

That feel when you know exactly what you’re getting into and do it anyway.

Extremely well-written. Gave me feelings. Why do I do this to myself when I know such good writing will make me feel things?

You’re not alone in that, friend. :heart:

10208225

I read the description first and thought to myself 'oh this'll be a nice, hopeful little tale'

Oh no

Then I read the story... oofta, that hurts
Don't underestimate winter storms, guys.

It’s true. Weather can ruin your day, change things so you don’t know where you are.

10208254

Stark, poignant, and tragic. I don't often read sadfics, but when I do, I prefer Dos Poñyos. :fluttercry:

:heart:

10208286

This was sad.
Needs something to go with it.

Thanks! :heart:

10208482

Dude. That is literally the entire point of eating eggs. How else are you supposed to fuel the old crop duster?

Ponies who have that as a special talent know all about it. :derpytongue2:

10208615

I thought the point was that they taste good and are a good healthy source of protein?

Well, that too.

For some ponies, it’s two benefits in one egg.

10208621

a grate story. sad but grate all the same.

Thanks! :heart:

now to find happier pony words.

16 just updated, so that’s an option. Although I haven’t read the new chapter yet, so I can’t promise it’ll be happier.

10208635

For some reason, this made me think of the trucking industry. My dad's a trucker and deals with winter whiteouts on British Columbia's deadliest highways. It's very easy to lose your way, slide off the road, be overloaded in a rush, breakdown, or die. Based on what I just read here, it's accurate to that.

I touched the edge of that industry driving wreckers back in the day . . . spent an entire shift in a five-mile section of I-94 during a late-winter snowstorm, picking cars out of ditches. End of the day, I got to watch as the first responders pulled a guy out of a Blazer that had slid off the road, flipped, and wound up in a pond. He didn’t make it. Sometimes it’s a thin line, sometimes it’s a knife-edge, and sometimes . . . well, you do your best and hope that’s enough.

Nice work. Grim, but nicely written.

Thank you! :heart:

10208878
I know . . . poor Buttonwood. :fluttercry:

10209616

That was amazing. Even so, I was so sad my thumb hovered over the downvote button for a second. :fluttercry:

:heart:

We must not blame the author for characters’ terrible fates. It is expected that they will make their characters suffer.

I try not to . . . I prefer happy stories as well. But they can’t all be happy, unfortunately.

Amazing work.

Thanks!

10209947

Probably get downvoted,

There’s a good chance of that :derpytongue2: Won’t be from me, though.

1) Just as well that Buttonwood drowned. Barring a miracle, she would undoubtedly have died of hypothermia. This was faster & so she suffered less

I’ve heard that hypothermia is a more pleasant way to go, but obviously can’t confirm. I have to imagine that hypothermia while struggling to stay afloat is less pleasant, although again can’t confirm.

2) The money that she was trying to save for her vacation can pay for her funeral

Presuming that there is one. Nopony knows where she went.

It occurs to me that TOO MUCH Occurs To Me

That does happen. :heart: I’ve been accused of the same from time to time.

10209987
i am watching 16 but at this time i am working my way threw the Weed World story line.
witch i am finding really good but it is super long.

10210082
I write a lot, but Kudzu’s on his (or her) own level. Just checked, it’s more than triple my total wordcount.

10209993
This story also touches my interest, because a couple years ago, a driver for a rival company of my dad's, went off the road in a storm. Somehow, he didn't knockout any barriers on a sharp turn covered in black ice. He went over the edge and dropped nearly 75ft down. He survived the impact, but was trapped in the cab for 2 days. They managed to pull him out, but he died of his injuries on the way to the hospital.

This story isn't too far off from that. It's sad, scary, and reflects what a driver may actually go through. Sorry if I went a little dark, but your story grabbed my attention because of how accurate it is to real life. Again, nice work. If you plan to make another, I might check it out.

10210017
That's true for now, but come spring the ice will eventually melt. That track isn't the main road, but it isn't completely deserted either. Then again, she is still attached to the wagon

Perhaps next time I should check the tags before reading the story :)

Was a good, but sad, read.

Another one of your excellent slice-of-life stories... or in this case, slice-of-death.

As always, your details and research paint an extremely real and lifelike picture of the events. The chill and the limited visibility of the snowstorm really comes through!

When I started reading this I thought of Keb 'Mo's poignant song "France", about a Texan worker who is trying to get enough money to go to Paris with his partner. But it took a turn towards a much deeper and sadder blues song at the end :-(

And the fish nibble the soft sweet pony meat from her bones... in revenge for Fluttershy feeding them to otters. :fluttershysad: :pinkiecrazy:

I read it and it was well written.

I'm glad I read it.

I shall never read it again. :fluttercry:

(Great Big Sea - Concerning Charlie Horse)

She is still attached to the wagon.
Wagons cost money.
They will look for the wagon, if not the pony

I read it, expecting that the sad and death was the MC losing someone close to her, in the background.

I deeply regret reading. You did an amazing job, but I deeply regret reading.

10210248

This story also touches my interest, because a couple years ago, a driver for a rival company of my dad's, went off the road in a storm. Somehow, he didn't knockout any barriers on a sharp turn covered in black ice. He went over the edge and dropped nearly 75ft down. He survived the impact, but was trapped in the cab for 2 days. They managed to pull him out, but he died of his injuries on the way to the hospital.

Winter weather’s merciless, and if there isn’t somebody there to see, it doesn’t take too long for a car or truck to get lost in the snow. Or under a lake. One of my dad’s parishioners slid off the road into a river in the winter and was lucky enough to be able to get out of the car before it sank, but not everybody is.

This story isn't too far off from that. It's sad, scary, and reflects what a driver may actually go through. Sorry if I went a little dark, but your story grabbed my attention because of how accurate it is to real life.

That was my intention, and for some people it is going to be a reminder of darker memories. I’ve had a few close calls myself.

Again, nice work. If you plan to make another, I might check it out.

Thanks! :heart:

I don’t have any particular intention of doing a followup to this story, but if you’re interested in truck driving ponies, you might like my own Peterbilt Glider

10210282

That's true for now, but come spring the ice will eventually melt. That track isn't the main road, but it isn't completely deserted either.

Agreed, but come the spring there won’t be any sign of her passage . . .

Then again, she is still attached to the wagon

. . . and if the water of the lake isn’t crystal clear all the way down

10210417

Perhaps next time I should check the tags before reading the story :)

<hugs>

Was a good, but sad, read.

Thanks! :heart:

10210534

Another one of your excellent slice-of-life stories... or in this case, slice-of-death.

Thank you!

As always, your details and research paint an extremely real and lifelike picture of the events. The chill and the limited visibility of the snowstorm really comes through!

Some parts of it were things I’ve been meaning to write for a while, and other parts were at least partially inspired by a rather late season snowstorm, and a old legend from when I was a kid about the lake that’s got a team of horses and their wagon at the bottom of it.

There’s something about snow that’s different than most kinds of weather, and I don’t exactly know how to express what it is.

10210923

When I started reading this I thought of Keb 'Mo's poignant song "France", about a Texan worker who is trying to get enough money to go to Paris with his partner.

Ooh, that’s a good song.

But it took a turn towards a much deeper and sadder blues song at the end :-(

It does. :fluttercry:

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