PonyAmorous
Joined 7th Apr, 2012 ·
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So I dont know how I would rate this as a clopfic, it's not really my thing. However, the comedy was top notch, I was grinning the whole way through at the absurdity of it all. Be prepared for a bunch of down votes from people who are just going to read the warnings and not the actual story, but that's their loss really.
I see.
I liked it! It was pretty out there, yeah, but it was honestly quite a fun read!
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10185545
Thanks. I saw a contest and thought it a good excuse to try something new. Also, it's pretty out there because one of the prize categories is essentially "most perverted/weirdest".
Ah hahahahaha.
Glad to see someone else likes writing about ponies sword fighting in this manner.
If it were up to me, you'd have 1st place in the contest (and every other one for the next month).
10185652
Glad you liked it. This is the quickest I've ever seen down votes roll in on a story. I guess some people have a strong allergic reaction to certain tags, as I'm somewhat skeptical they're all from people who gave it a thorough reading.
If someone DID read it and disliked something about it, I'd actually love feedback, since this is brand new territory for me. I'm a decently experienced fic writer by now, but never written clop before. I'm pondering writing a second one. This was to get the absurd ridiculous premise comedy idea out of the way. The next would probably be played more straight. More feels oriented and similar to my other shipping fics, just without the fade to black cutaways.
Then there's the other ridiculous clop comedy fic idea I've had forever (but couldn't use for this contest because Anons were specifically forbidden). Guaranteed to piss off pretty much everyone. A parody of the "anon foalsits seductive filly" foalcon genre, but with the twist that he actually has zero interest in banging any children, and them shaking their ass a bit does not somehow magically remove his squick over the concept. No actual sex happens, despite graphic sexual imagery and narration still being present, and it's all about him trying to dodge increasingly brazen and uncomfortable advances. The people who hate foalcon will bomb the shit out of it on sight and still hate all the imagery even if they read it, and the people actually into it will consider it a giant tease with no payoff. Essentially guaranteed to be the worst rated fic I ever write if I bother to get around to it.
10185675 Yeah, I've heard from other clopfic writers at the moment that there's some kind of bandwagoning going on of people downvoting clopfics.
That said, people will downvote for a lot of reasons. You state clearly that there's futa, so that will garner a few, as well as the incest side of things. Though I expect a certain someone to come storming in with a "this is relevant to my interests" gif shortly.
Parody, particularly in sexual comedy, is a wonderful thing. I'd say go for it and don't look back. Never be afraid to get too weird.
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People dislike Futa? I thought everybody loved Futa! What's this world coming to?!
That's like the only fetish in this story that's actually mine.
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I’m pretty sure it’s less the futa and more the incest. To be quit honest though, this is all fake so who really cares what the fuck it is. I will definitely be reading this in the near future for comedic purposes. And there are two types of men. Those who like futa, and liars
Was this, by any chance, a result from that one thread on /mlp/?
Really digging the verbose absurdity. Twilight is clearly projecting a character to create a mood, most likely just for shits and giggles. Cadence is likely an audience insert, eager to play along to see things play out. That said, I'm hesitant to actually call it a clopfic. It's more like a sex/fetish themed comedy. Still good, but I felt that the sexiness was rather weak compared to the absurdism. If you want to do erotica in the future, I'd recommend a greater focus on the participants' sensations. Sex is about the experience, not just a series of events. Just some food for thought.
"Filthy Slattern! You dare defile the Crown of the Sibling Supreme with your lascivious ways!" Twilight's gaze jerked back to Shining Armor. "For such debased villainy, both you and your whore shall taste my blade!"
I had to stop for a moment there to remember to breathe... This is too good I require more
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Nah. I don't think I've ever ventured into /mlp/.
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Yeah, I could definitely tell while writing it that the sexiness was kinda taking a back seat. I kinda had two possible ideas in my head of where to go. One more sensation and emotion oriented and similar to my shipfics but without the cut to black scene transitions, and this absurdist comedy. This is the one that my brain latched onto and started adding details for, so here we are.
10185675
I would upvote that heartily if it's anywhere close in quality to this.
I should not have put off reading this anywhere near as long as I did. Upvote and fave, definitely. Not the best, as clop, but definitely the funniest story I’ve read from this contest so far.
This is your official review from Dirty Little Secret's Dirty Little Contest!
Remember to vote in the contest's poll -- voting closes at midnight, June 6th.
And make sure to allow notifications from the contest group and/or follow Dirty Little Secret to get the full results and the awards show post on June 9th!
------ Review ------
Please keep in mind, I know I can be overly critical and negative at times. I can always find something to nitpick, even in the greatest works of literature ever written. Please don't take it personally!
-
With an eye on that weirdest/most perverted category.-- um... you know that's not actually one of the categories, right?-
Another brilliant deduction, sis."-- missing capitalization.-
Shining Armor quickly learned that opening his mouth had been a grave tactical error-- nice comedy.-A nice comedic ending. Sanity-saving, too, since we can now be free to just assume this is all nothing but a Pinkie Pie story.
-More comedy than clop. Actually pretty decent comedy, so there’s that. Unfortunately, this isn’t a comedy contest...
------ Scores ------
To clarify what these scores mean, check my judging rubric.
Cloppability: 60/100
Allure: 20/100
Enticement: 40/100
Immersion: 30/100
Prose Quality: 89/100
Total Score: 239/500
The more specialized scores for individual prizes, as well as the results of the community poll, will be published when the full results are announced. If this story wins any awards, there will be another post in the story comments sometime after June 9th announcing that this story has won.
Thank you for participating, and thank you for contributing to Fimfic's collection of clop!
As someone who has been to many quinceañera parties (including my own), I can confirm this is something that would actually happen at a party of this kind