• Member Since 4th Mar, 2012
  • offline last seen 17 hours ago

Somber


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Comments ( 111 )

This is sad

Man that hit me hard. I'm still actually crying. It hurts having those you care about go. Amazing story. At least they will be with each other and other friends.

I AM TOTALLY IN TEARS

That hurt.

Thank you for sharing it.

Well done.

it's sad but you have write it for expressed the most of sadness possible:fluttercry:

I cried ... I thought Twilight wasn’t going to outlive her friends...

Oh man that's a gut punch. But a beautiful one at that. Bravo.

I didn't wanna feel happy today anyways...

But in all seriousness, this was a good read. And a really... really sad story.

Excuse me, I think I need a good cry now.

I wasn't going to read this, because I didn't want to feel any sadder than I already did after the finale, but I went and did it anyway. Sort of like Discord in this story, now that I think about it.

This was beautifully done. Thank you for writing it. :pinkiesad2:

Ouch...ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch...one of the most well written fics i've read in recent memory, but also the most painful...

i.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/028/692/cat.jpg

Also, considering Discord was conscious while stoned, won't the same happen to them? I dunno, seems worse than death.

Well, at least to your credit, you didn't go the Oh if we slayed the dragon life would be terrible shinola.

As for it being horrible... well, perhaps it wasn't up to Somber standard, but you wrote a story that made its point, and did it well.

9883392
I'd like to think, this time, no. That if Discord is aware, that he's aware of this moment forever. The feel of Fluttershy in his arms. Her smell. That he gets this moment and can ignore everything else. Discord's previous awareness was due to him being transformed against his will. He was focused on the outside world.

That's my take anyway.

9883458
Fair enough. That seems way better than what I imagined.

Well... so it was that part that inspired this fic. More feels to add to the pile.

Wow that hurt a lot more then I thought it would. Great story, thank you for writing and sharing

I also made a promise. A promise not to cry.

You can turn me to stone, now.

Goddamit these are good tears but goddam. Good story.

The feels are real with this one.

:applecry: Simply touching. A+.

Beautiful... a few mistakes here and there, but they don’t matter. They don’t. Warms the heart, tugs at it. Thank you.

How fitting.

Forever yours

:yay:

Well, guess my eyes are getting some extra irrigation today too...
Thanks for writing.


9883458
9883392
Aye, this could be interpreted to actually be a terrible fate.
But it doesn't have to be, and I don't think this is that sort of story.

Well, damn. That's sad.

I'm guessing by what they mean, when they die or are close to death, Twilight encases them in stone so they last? That's genuinely depressing, but bittersweet.

I enjoyed it. A couple errors here and there, but not bad at all!

God dam onion ninjas :fluttercry::fluttercry::fluttercry:

9883806
A wild I Am The Night appears!

Thank you for this. :fluttercry:

I was listening to this while reading. It was a mistake. A beautiful, perfect mistake.

Man you really know how to write a story that is beyond description

Fuck man, ninjas cutting onions round here.

Well I got some good news. Twilight is not immortal!:twilightsmile: Jim Miller revealed the writers themselves don't know how long everyone lives, including her. Well, I guess its kind of open to Interpretation, we can believe what we want. Discord however will likely outlive Fluttershy, so that's sad. :fluttershysad:

The reading was relatively good. A few small errors (which I can point out, if you want), but the emotions conveyed were real, and very relatable. Definitely, the feeling of letting go and being unable to do anything tugged at me the most and seeing Discord willingly sacrifice his own freedom to be with somepony he truly cares about is strangely, heartwarming in the end.

The fact Spike and Discord were still able to nerd out despite the levity and how Fluttershy, even in her brief "youth spurt" was still able to forgive Discord for breaking his promise to her, indicates a good eye for character detail and personality. Again, another well done aspect of the whole piece.

Thank you for this.

9884203
Yes it is open to interpretation!! And i'm thankful for that!!

ANd I must say, this tory made me tear up quite a lot!! Such a wonderful story!!

9884230
Sure. I'll fix them if you point them out.

Dammit, that made me cry.

Made me cry. Great work with such a great story ^^

The true heartbreaking horror of the finale.

Ultimate Kindness... Multiple meanings when you have context added.

Kindness is Fluttershy's element.
Kindness is the mercy, chance, and love she gave to Discord.
Kindness is allowing Discord and Fluttershy to truly be together...

The Ultimate Kindness is giving them a dignified end and truly preserving their love and memories in their final moments by ending it on the best note possible.

Oh God, the style, the writing, the little tidbits here and there, everything!!!

They're all conspiring to invade my heart! :fluttercry:

Rest in peace, you two, rest in peace. :ajsleepy:

Ow. Right in the heart. It’s been one emotional jab to the old ticker after another today. Beautiful sentiment and a wonderful image.

Somber, that was beautiful, very sensitive and trutly emotional, I really cried with this, very good job.

I legitimately cried while reading this.

Comment posted by Grau deleted Oct 15th, 2019
Grau #49 · Oct 15th, 2019 · · 4 ·

9884328

"I've seen a great many tea cakes in my time, I'll have you know. Sesame, sugar, cinnamon, iced, shortcake, gingerbread, carrot..." he said as he listed them off on his fingers, new talons sprouting from his wrist as needed. Only fluttershy's cloudy eyes blinked as her brows furrowed together behind her thick glasses. Long wispy mane fell like moonlight across her face. "I'll get them." She smiled, and that was enough. That was always enough.

Fluttershy's name isn't capitalised at the start.

He snapped his fingers, and from the kitchen came the china, winging its way in on conjured wings stacked high with delectibles. "Oh, my. Pinkie really went out of her way this time, didn't she?" she said as her wings flapped stiffly, barely lifting her from the ground and setting her on the couch. A white rabbit hopped up next to her, giving her hoof a loving nuzzle. "Oh, hello angel bunny. My, you're affectionate."

Proper spelling is "delectable".
Angel Bunny's name isn't capitalised at the start.

Spike's brows knit as he stepped back. His cave was easily big enough for one of those new fangled air liners. A massive pile of gold, probably a healthy chunk of the national treasury, lay in one corner. Ventilation fans in the ceiling whirled, ready to expel noxious dragon snores. In the corner sat a huge statue of pure garnet of an unicorn warrior in full plate, sword held aloft. No history books listed the valiant deeds of Sir McBiggen, but they should. "What's up? You haven't been by to see me since the funeral." Discord clenched his jaw as Spike sat down on his horde. "Let me guess, Fluttershy?"

Proper word/spelling is "hoard".
"McBiggun", with a "u" not "e".

"Stick around? Stick around! Like everyone else is just a speck of lint to be flecked away by the callous claws of time?" Discord snapped as he crossed his arms over his chest. "Aging is stupid! It's the most idiotic thing people ever invented. You have life, yes, and maturation, certainly. But that's when you stop." He forced a grin and a wave. "Yes, thank you, I'm old enough now. Good day." He slumped at once. "It would be different if it were like Pinkie Pie. She remembered... everything. Every prank and joke and party we'd ever thrown together."

Maybe use "ponies" instead of "people"?

"It's stupid! It's idiotic! It's the most banal and ridiculous... and... and... and evil thing anyone has ever come up with!" Discord shouted. He raised his claw once more, his hand shaking. One snap and it'd all be better. One snap and it could be like it always was. The pony gang would be back, and Captain Wuz would get to storm the Squizzard with Sir McBiggin. One snap and everything could be as he wanted it!

Squizard only has one "z".
Mis-spelling of McBiggun.
Captain Wuzz has two "z"s.

Spike's tears welled like hots springs as he carefully patted discord's back. "Because you and Twilight promised. That's why."

Discord's name isn't capitalised at the start.

Discord sobbed, his tears turning into pink hippopotamuses doing cart wheels away into the cave. He covered his eyes with a paw, ashamed and twisted and remembering every word.

Plural of hippopotamus is "hippopotami".
Use past tense of remember, "remembered" instead. Better flow.

"Oh, bother, this is so pathetic! I can't stand it. What am I going to do when she doesn't remember me? When she wonders who this strange dracoequus is in her house? When she goes looking for Golden Oaks library or Sugar Cube Corner, and they're gone? Or even when she forgets you and Twilight?" He asked... begged... as he looked up at Spike.

"Draconequus". You're missing an "n".

His yellow eyes swept over the pictures. The pony gang, of course. And the animals. So many animals. No children. It just never seemed to have come up. Instead an endless parade of people and creatures she'd help, because that was who she was. Pictures of him. Twilight had put sticky notes underneath all the pictures, but it hardly mattered. Her eyes were so weak, she couldn't read them, even if she could recall them. Quietly he walked into the parlor where she still dozed. The quilt had changed from pink with butterflies to blue with flamingos, but otherwise had kept her warm. Carefully, he picked her up and winked to her bedroom, tucking her under the comforter, kissing her pale yellow brow and brushing her mane aside. Her lips curled in a tiny smile.

I'd put a comma after "Quietly".
Use "into" instead of "in" for the last sentence.

"For how long, Discord?" Twilight countered softly. "We know you're magic isn't permanent. She might look young, and she might even act like you remember her acting, but she'd still be an old pony. He might not even survive it."

"Your", not "you're".
"She", missing an "s" in the last sentence.

"I know, but he's never been the same since the latest edition came out. 'Arcane Arbalist'? What's wrong with simply being an archer?" Of course once he'd been to terrified to even be that. He reached out and Spike extended a talon larger than the dracoequus's head. Discord shook it with both hands. "We never did rescue Smarity, did we?"

Mis-spelling for draconequus again.
"Shmarity", you're missing a "h".

"That darned Squizzard," Spike said, then turned his head away to hide his sobs.

Mis-spelling of Squizard.

It was subtle for his powers. Her mane turning a strawberry milkshake pink. The fog falling from her pale blue eyes. Her lips filling out into that placid smile. In a snap, he returned her to that moment when she was new. When he first learned how precious another person's love could be.

Swap out "person" with "creature".

But the snap was already fading, the pink draining from her mane. He just looked at Twilight, and in that look was the word 'please' and 'thank you' all in one glance.

Use plural of word.

Twilight stared at the pair, her chest aching. She summoned a marble pedestal, and place the pair firmly upon it. In the base, she carved the words, 'The Greatest Kindness.'

"On the base".

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