• Published 14th Oct 2019
  • 8,407 Views, 114 Comments

One Last Snap - Somber



Discord says goodbye.

  • ...
13
 114
 8,407

Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow...

"Discord, have you seen the tea cakes?" Fluttershy asked as peeked around her cottage parlor. Decades had altered the decor little, even with his constant attempts to liven the place up. He didn't do that so often anymore. It upset her more than it entertained.

"I've seen a great many tea cakes in my time, I'll have you know. Sesame, sugar, cinnamon, iced, shortcake, gingerbread, carrot..." he said as he listed them off on his fingers, new talons sprouting from his wrist as needed. Only Fluttershy's cloudy eyes blinked as her brows furrowed together behind her thick glasses. Long wispy mane fell like moonlight across her face. "I'll get them." She smiled, and that was enough. That was always enough.

He snapped his fingers, and from the kitchen came the china, winging its way in on conjured wings stacked high with delectables. "Oh, my. Pinkie really went out of her way this time, didn't she?" she said as her wings flapped stiffly, barely lifting her from the ground and setting her on the couch. A white rabbit hopped up next to her, giving her hoof a loving nuzzle. "Oh, hello Angel Bunny. My, you're affectionate."

If Angel Bunny could have seen his great, great, great grand daughter, perhaps he might have agreed. The bunny just knit her brows in the same furrow as Discord wore all too often now. "That's Angelica, dear."

Fluttershy's cloudy eyes blinked again. "Oh, was it? I get so confused, some times."

"Happens to the best of us. I still have difficulty trying to keep all my parts straight." But that was a lie. He could pretend to age. He could shake and moan and whine if it served some sort of entertaining purpose. It'd been fun, over the years, but like Fluttershy the fun had faded year by year, like brilliant fabric left out in the sun for too long. "Did you sleep well?" he asked.

"I was dreaming about the gala. You remember? The one where you were all jealous of Treehugger?" Fluttershy said, but of course Discord remembered. Every word and every feeling of every day, cataloged to be ignored at convenience. But he couldn't ignore Fluttershy. It would be like ignoring chaos itself, he simply couldn't do it.

"Mhmmm," he replied, pouring her a cup. He didn't need to pretend to be old anymore. She didn't notice, and it made things easier when she forgot when she was.

"I was wondering what it would have been like if I'd given you my ticket instead of her. I was just so sure you'd be invited by Celestia," Fluttershy murmured, her eyes drooping.

Discord stared at her and slowly raised his claw. His hand shook, his yellow eyes brimming with tears. Jaw clenched, and a heart worn with loving thundered in his chest as his fingers strained. Fluttershy snored softly, tea time forgotten as Angelica snuggled up in Fluttershy's embrace. He took a deep breath and snapped a lovely quilt out of the air and gently draped it over her.

Rising, he reached out and hooked his fingers on reality, pulled it aside like a curtain, and stepped into Canterlot. It was bustling and noisy, filled with more disorder and chaos than he could ever hope for. Another him... a different him... would have been right at home here. Not caring about anything past today. Living in the moment. Carpe Diem. That was his whole thing.

Once.

He walked down the sidewalk, getting a few looks, but there were plenty of oddities in Equestria these days that he hardly merited a second gawk. That might have annoyed him long ago, but these days there was only one spotlight he wanted to occupy, and it was currently sleeping and dreaming of better days. Discord slept like he did anything else: at his amusement. He couldn't count the number of hours total he'd watched Fluttershy sleep, dreaming her dreams, waiting for her to rejoin him with that wonderfulness that she brought to the world. His world.

He walked up to the face of the cliff, knocking in spite of his inclination to simply poof inside. The massive door creaked open and a huge purple and green head poked out, looking down. "Discord?" rumbled Spike, turning to peer down with one eye. "What's up?"

Discord could barely manage a half smile. "Do I need a reason to stop in and see a friend?"

Spike's brows knit as he stepped back. His cave was easily big enough for one of those new fangled air liners. A massive pile of gold, probably a healthy chunk of the national treasury, lay in one corner. Ventilation fans in the ceiling whirled, ready to expel noxious dragon snores. In the corner sat a huge statue of pure garnet of an unicorn warrior in full plate, sword held aloft. No history books listed the valiant deeds of Sir McBiggun, but they should. "What's up? You haven't been by to see me since the funeral." Discord clenched his jaw as Spike sat down on his hoard. "Let me guess, Fluttershy?"

Discord managed to walk over and sit on the end of Spike's huge tail. "She's getting worse, Spike. Every day, I see it. She doesn't remember the school anymore, or the sanctuary! She doesn't even remember Tirek or what I did," Discord gushed.

Spike just sighed softly. "Well, look at the bright side. At least she's remembering the good parts," Spike offered, trying to give him an encouraging grin. It didn't last. "You've know this was coming, Discord. Twilight, you, me... we just... we get to stick around longer."

"Stick around? Stick around! Like everyone else is just a speck of lint to be flecked away by the callous claws of time?" Discord snapped as he crossed his arms over his chest. "Aging is stupid! It's the most idiotic thing people ever invented. You have life, yes, and maturation, certainly. But that's when you stop." He forced a grin and a wave. "Yes, thank you, I'm old enough now. Good day." He slumped at once. "It would be different if it were like Pinkie Pie. She remembered... everything. Every prank and joke and party we'd ever thrown together."

"Sorry. Not everyone ages the same," Spike said with a sigh and shrug. "It's life."

"It's stupid! It's idiotic! It's the most banal and ridiculous... and... and... and evil thing anyone has ever come up with!" Discord shouted. He raised his claw once more, his hand shaking. One snap and it'd all be better. One snap and it could be like it always was. The pony gang would be back, and Captain Wuzz would get to storm the Squizard with Sir McBiggin. One snap and everything could be as he wanted it!

One... snap...

His head fell back as he started to sob. "Why? Why do I have to do this? Why can you all just let me fix it and make everything right again?"

Spike's tears welled like hots springs as he carefully patted Discord's back. "Because you and Twilight promised. That's why."

Discord sobbed, his tears turning into pink hippopotami doing cart wheels away into the cave. He covered his eyes with a paw, ashamed and twisted and remembered every word.

"Discord, there's going to come a time when I die. If it happens... when it happens... I want you to let it. I don't want a life that goes on forever. Everything in nature passes away, and I'm no different. So whatever happens, when it's my or one of our friend's time to go, I want you to promise you won't snap your claws and fix it. Promise, okay?"

"Yeah, sure."

He'd planned on breaking that promise, of course. Promises made in the name of stupid were meant to be broken. But when the first of the pony gang passed away, it had been all Spike and he could do to keep Twilight together. It'd been hard, but they'd convinced her to let it go, with Fluttershy repeating those same words.

Sometimes, you had the power to break reality itself, but you couldn't break a promise to someone you loved.

"Oh, bother, this is so pathetic! I can't stand it. What am I going to do when she doesn't remember me? When she wonders who this strange draconequus is in her house? When she goes looking for Golden Oaks library or Sugar Cube Corner, and they're gone? Or even when she forgets you and Twilight?" He asked... begged... as he looked up at Spike.

The huge dragon shook his head slowly. "I don't know. But I do know that I'm not going anywhere anytime soon, and neither is Twilight. We're here for you, pal."

Discord sniffed, pulled a handkerchief out of his ear, and blew his nose with the sound of a macaw screech, before shaking flower petals out of the cloth. "I'm sorry, Spike. I'm really not sure if that's enough anymore."

He rose and swept aside the curtain of reality, stepping through into Fluttershy's cottage. A terrible, horrible, evil part of him he hated with all his being hoped she'd be gone when he got here. That she'd pass and he'd miss it, but then it'd be done. Over! He could pretend he'd never been reformed and usher in a brand new era of chaos. It was a part of him, he knew, that would only grow louder over the years.

His yellow eyes swept over the pictures. The pony gang, of course. And the animals. So many animals. No children. It just never seemed to have come up. Instead an endless parade of people and creatures she'd help, because that was who she was. Pictures of him. Twilight had put sticky notes underneath all the pictures, but it hardly mattered. Her eyes were so weak, she couldn't read them, even if she could recall them. Quietly, he walked into the parlor where she still dozed. The quilt had changed from pink with butterflies to blue with flamingos, but otherwise had kept her warm. Carefully, he picked her up and winked to her bedroom, tucking her under the comforter, kissing her pale yellow brow and brushing her mane aside. Her lips curled into a tiny smile.

He walked back down stairs, cleaning up the dull way... piece by piece. He couldn't trust himself with a snap right now. He might change something, despite his promise. He put the last of the stale tea cakes in the trash.

"Discord?" came Twilight's voice from the cottage doorway.

"Do let yourself in, your majesty," Discord grumbled. "You know, some ponies knock before entering."

"I didn't want to wake Fluttershy," the Princess of Friendship said, her mane waving in that ethereal breeze like ribbons. "Spike contacted me. Are you okay?" She asked as she walked to him.

Discord hunched, grabbing the counter. "Do I look okay?"

"You look like I probably did when Pinkie passed," Twilight said with a small catch in her voice. "How can I help?"

He raised his talon. "Let me snap my fingers and end all this. Let me fix it!" he hissed between his teeth as his hand shook. "One snap! That's all it would take. One and things can be like they once were!"

"For how long, Discord?" Twilight countered softly. "We know your magic isn't permanent. She might look young, and she might even act like you remember her acting, but she'd still be an old pony. She might not even survive it."

"But she might!" he pled, his hand shaking. "She might. At least for one day. Give me that. Give me one snap to be with her again... for as long as I'm with her again."

"And when it wears off? Do you snap again and again? She doesn't want that. She told you she doesn't want it. She wants a normal life... and normal lives... end..."

He glanced over at the tears on her cheeks, then his yellow eyes dropped to his fingers. It would be so easy. So... easy...

He relaxed his talons and bowed his head. "Twilight," he said in a hoarse, rasp. "I'm tired."

She gave a tiny half smile. "Well, it is late."

"No, Twilight. I mean I'm tired," he said. "I'm going to do it tomorrow."

"Discord... you promised."

"Yes. I did. And what did you say you'd do if I ever broke that promise?" Discord asked, his eyes soft, his lip curled. "What was the standard threat?"

Twilight took a step back. "No..." She shook her head. "You want me to–"

He raised a paw. "I want to be with the person I love. You understand that. You owe me that."

"Discord..." she wept. There was nothing to be said. She'd never be like Fluttershy, but sometimes anyone would do when you needed a hug.

The next morning he went through the routine. No matter how tedious it may have been, Discord took each step to patiently wash her and clean her and prepare her food. Then he'd assist her with her animals and gaze at him with those soft eyes that counted away the hours.

It was afternoon when Twilight and Spike arrived, the sun ready to be tucked below the horizon for a long nap. They were out behind the cottage, with Discord having the weeds march out of the flower beds to spare Fluttershy from getting on her knees to pull them. Angelica sat in her embrace, enjoying the hugs as Angel never could. Fluttershy just smiled at the pair. "Oh. Princess Luna. What an honor!"

Twilight winced. "It's me, Fluttershy. Twilight. I'm a princess now. Remember?" She asked with a pained smile.

Fluttershy knit her brows and frowned thoughtfully. "No... I'm pretty sure I'd remember if that happened, right..." she trailed away as she looked up at Discord. A pause, then, "...Discord?" she asked in a tiny, trembling voice.

He let out a shaky breath. "Of course." He patted her on the head and she smiled, which was all he wanted. "Excuse me. I need to speak to the Princess."

They moved a little ways away. "She doesn't recognize me," Twilight murmured, her eyes wide. "I thought... I mean..."

"She didn't even see me," Spike rumbled.

"You likely resemble purple and green landscape, my friend," Discord assured him.

"It's only been a few months. She... she's really slipping away, isn't she?" Twilight murmured in horror.

"A little death every day," Discord murmured solemnly, watching Fluttershy in her garden.

"It's not like Pinkie. Pinkie–" Twilight's voice caught as she sniffed. "Oh, Discord, I'm so sorry."

Discord smiled, the first real smile he'd worn in months. "It's alright, Twilight." It wasn't, but that was what you were supposed to say, wasn't it? "I don't know how much time she has left anyway." And what did that time even mean when each moment was lost within minutes, like morning mist?

"Are you sure you want to go through with this?" Spike asked with a rumble.

"I want what she wants. And let's be honest... without her, sooner or later, give a few centuries, I'd just go back to how I used to be, and you'd have to do it anyway. This way, I get to stay the best me," he murmured, touching a paw to his chest. "The me she loved."

"It's not going to be the same without you, Captain Wuzz," Spike sniffed, wiping watermelon sized tears from his eyes.

"I know, but he's never been the same since the latest edition came out. 'Arcane Arbalist'? What's wrong with simply being an archer?" Of course once he'd been to terrified to even be that. He reached out and Spike extended a talon larger than the draconequus's head. Discord shook it with both hands. "We never did rescue Shmarity, did we?"

"That darned Squizard," Spike said, then turned his head away to hide his sobs.

"Goodbye, Garbunkle," Discord said and then faced Twilight, who looked on with tears in her eyes as well. "Ready, Twilight?"

"Are you?" Twilight asked in turn. "Are you really sure?"

"More than anything," Discord said. He raised his claw, pressed his fingers, and from his talons exploded a pop of magic and flash. The few beasts who still lingered scattered for their holes. They'd be fine. Discord had drilled them for years how to take care of Fluttershy when he was gone. Now they'd have to take care of themselves.

It was subtle for his powers. Her mane turning a strawberry milkshake pink. The fog falling from her pale blue eyes. Her lips filling out into that placid smile. In a snap, he returned her to that moment when she was new. When he first learned how precious another person's love could be.

She blinked, lifting her hooves and staring at them a moment. "Discord," she said in a low voice. "You promised."

"I did," he said as he flashed to kneel before her. "I did. And I broke that promise. I guess I'm not as redeemed as everypony hoped," he said as he reached out to take her hooves.

She frowned... but it didn't, couldn't, last. She gave a soft sigh. "You villain." Then she took a deep breath. "So... is this it?"

"Yes," he murmured, reaching out to stroke her cheek. She tilted her face to meet his paw. "I just thought... if you have to go... why not like this?"

Fluttershy rose to her hooves, looking at Twilight, standing there with tears in her eyes while Spike sobbed brokenly. "Oh. Hello, Twilight. Hi, Spike." She gave a little half smile. "It's like with Pinkie, isn't it? I'm sorry."

Twilight's lips quivered. "No! No, it's fine. It's... fine..."

Fluttershy walked over to her friend and hugged her tightly. "It is fine. I'm glad Discord let me say goodbye." She reached up to stroke Twilight's cheek. "All things pass away eventually. It's okay to be sad. Just remember to be happy occasionally too." She turned to Discord. "And that goes for you too, Discord."

He gave a bow with a flourish of his paw. "You are my happy," he said simply. She flew over into his embrace, and he pressed his brow to hers. "You make me the best me I can be."

Fluttershy smiled, "And you've shown me more than I ever imagined."

Discord's voice dropped to a whisper. "I love you, Fluttershy."

But the snap was already fading, the pink draining from her mane. He just looked at Twilight, and in that look was the word 'please' and 'thank you' all in one glance.

And Twilight's horn flashed, lancing out, striking the pair. If Fluttershy realized, she gave no sign. If Discord minded, it was lost in his serene smile. Locked in eternal stone sleep, they stood together.

Twilight stared at the pair, her chest aching. She summoned a marble pedestal, and place the pair firmly upon it. On the base, she carved the words, 'The Greatest Kindness.'

"Come on, Spike. Let's go home," Twilight murmured, and together the pair flew off into tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow...

Author's Note:

Horrible little story, but it demanded I write it. Some times you just have to write it, even if it is one of those stories. Apologies if I made any mistakes.

Comments ( 114 )

This is sad

Man that hit me hard. I'm still actually crying. It hurts having those you care about go. Amazing story. At least they will be with each other and other friends.

I AM TOTALLY IN TEARS

That hurt.

Thank you for sharing it.

Well done.

it's sad but you have write it for expressed the most of sadness possible:fluttercry:

I cried ... I thought Twilight wasn’t going to outlive her friends...

Oh man that's a gut punch. But a beautiful one at that. Bravo.

I didn't wanna feel happy today anyways...

But in all seriousness, this was a good read. And a really... really sad story.

Excuse me, I think I need a good cry now.

I wasn't going to read this, because I didn't want to feel any sadder than I already did after the finale, but I went and did it anyway. Sort of like Discord in this story, now that I think about it.

This was beautifully done. Thank you for writing it. :pinkiesad2:

Ouch...ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch...one of the most well written fics i've read in recent memory, but also the most painful...

Well, at least to your credit, you didn't go the Oh if we slayed the dragon life would be terrible shinola.

As for it being horrible... well, perhaps it wasn't up to Somber standard, but you wrote a story that made its point, and did it well.

9883392
I'd like to think, this time, no. That if Discord is aware, that he's aware of this moment forever. The feel of Fluttershy in his arms. Her smell. That he gets this moment and can ignore everything else. Discord's previous awareness was due to him being transformed against his will. He was focused on the outside world.

That's my take anyway.

Well... so it was that part that inspired this fic. More feels to add to the pile.

Wow that hurt a lot more then I thought it would. Great story, thank you for writing and sharing

I also made a promise. A promise not to cry.

You can turn me to stone, now.

Goddamit these are good tears but goddam. Good story.

The feels are real with this one.

:applecry: Simply touching. A+.

Beautiful... a few mistakes here and there, but they don’t matter. They don’t. Warms the heart, tugs at it. Thank you.

How fitting.

Forever yours

:yay:

Well, guess my eyes are getting some extra irrigation today too...
Thanks for writing.


9883458
9883392
Aye, this could be interpreted to actually be a terrible fate.
But it doesn't have to be, and I don't think this is that sort of story.

Well, damn. That's sad.

I'm guessing by what they mean, when they die or are close to death, Twilight encases them in stone so they last? That's genuinely depressing, but bittersweet.

I enjoyed it. A couple errors here and there, but not bad at all!

God dam onion ninjas :fluttercry::fluttercry::fluttercry:

9883806
A wild I Am The Night appears!

Thank you for this. :fluttercry:

I was listening to this while reading. It was a mistake. A beautiful, perfect mistake.

Man you really know how to write a story that is beyond description

Fuck man, ninjas cutting onions round here.

Well I got some good news. Twilight is not immortal!:twilightsmile: Jim Miller revealed the writers themselves don't know how long everyone lives, including her. Well, I guess its kind of open to Interpretation, we can believe what we want. Discord however will likely outlive Fluttershy, so that's sad. :fluttershysad:

The reading was relatively good. A few small errors (which I can point out, if you want), but the emotions conveyed were real, and very relatable. Definitely, the feeling of letting go and being unable to do anything tugged at me the most and seeing Discord willingly sacrifice his own freedom to be with somepony he truly cares about is strangely, heartwarming in the end.

The fact Spike and Discord were still able to nerd out despite the levity and how Fluttershy, even in her brief "youth spurt" was still able to forgive Discord for breaking his promise to her, indicates a good eye for character detail and personality. Again, another well done aspect of the whole piece.

Thank you for this.

9884203
Yes it is open to interpretation!! And i'm thankful for that!!

ANd I must say, this tory made me tear up quite a lot!! Such a wonderful story!!

9884230
Sure. I'll fix them if you point them out.

Dammit, that made me cry.

Made me cry. Great work with such a great story ^^

The true heartbreaking horror of the finale.

Ultimate Kindness... Multiple meanings when you have context added.

Kindness is Fluttershy's element.
Kindness is the mercy, chance, and love she gave to Discord.
Kindness is allowing Discord and Fluttershy to truly be together...

The Ultimate Kindness is giving them a dignified end and truly preserving their love and memories in their final moments by ending it on the best note possible.

Oh God, the style, the writing, the little tidbits here and there, everything!!!

They're all conspiring to invade my heart! :fluttercry:

Rest in peace, you two, rest in peace. :ajsleepy:

Ow. Right in the heart. It’s been one emotional jab to the old ticker after another today. Beautiful sentiment and a wonderful image.

Somber, that was beautiful, very sensitive and trutly emotional, I really cried with this, very good job.

I legitimately cried while reading this.

Comment posted by Grau deleted Oct 15th, 2019
Grau #47 · Oct 15th, 2019 · · 4 ·

9884328

"I've seen a great many tea cakes in my time, I'll have you know. Sesame, sugar, cinnamon, iced, shortcake, gingerbread, carrot..." he said as he listed them off on his fingers, new talons sprouting from his wrist as needed. Only fluttershy's cloudy eyes blinked as her brows furrowed together behind her thick glasses. Long wispy mane fell like moonlight across her face. "I'll get them." She smiled, and that was enough. That was always enough.

Fluttershy's name isn't capitalised at the start.

He snapped his fingers, and from the kitchen came the china, winging its way in on conjured wings stacked high with delectibles. "Oh, my. Pinkie really went out of her way this time, didn't she?" she said as her wings flapped stiffly, barely lifting her from the ground and setting her on the couch. A white rabbit hopped up next to her, giving her hoof a loving nuzzle. "Oh, hello angel bunny. My, you're affectionate."

Proper spelling is "delectable".
Angel Bunny's name isn't capitalised at the start.

Spike's brows knit as he stepped back. His cave was easily big enough for one of those new fangled air liners. A massive pile of gold, probably a healthy chunk of the national treasury, lay in one corner. Ventilation fans in the ceiling whirled, ready to expel noxious dragon snores. In the corner sat a huge statue of pure garnet of an unicorn warrior in full plate, sword held aloft. No history books listed the valiant deeds of Sir McBiggen, but they should. "What's up? You haven't been by to see me since the funeral." Discord clenched his jaw as Spike sat down on his horde. "Let me guess, Fluttershy?"

Proper word/spelling is "hoard".
"McBiggun", with a "u" not "e".

"Stick around? Stick around! Like everyone else is just a speck of lint to be flecked away by the callous claws of time?" Discord snapped as he crossed his arms over his chest. "Aging is stupid! It's the most idiotic thing people ever invented. You have life, yes, and maturation, certainly. But that's when you stop." He forced a grin and a wave. "Yes, thank you, I'm old enough now. Good day." He slumped at once. "It would be different if it were like Pinkie Pie. She remembered... everything. Every prank and joke and party we'd ever thrown together."

Maybe use "ponies" instead of "people"?

"It's stupid! It's idiotic! It's the most banal and ridiculous... and... and... and evil thing anyone has ever come up with!" Discord shouted. He raised his claw once more, his hand shaking. One snap and it'd all be better. One snap and it could be like it always was. The pony gang would be back, and Captain Wuz would get to storm the Squizzard with Sir McBiggin. One snap and everything could be as he wanted it!

Squizard only has one "z".
Mis-spelling of McBiggun.
Captain Wuzz has two "z"s.

Spike's tears welled like hots springs as he carefully patted discord's back. "Because you and Twilight promised. That's why."

Discord's name isn't capitalised at the start.

Discord sobbed, his tears turning into pink hippopotamuses doing cart wheels away into the cave. He covered his eyes with a paw, ashamed and twisted and remembering every word.

Plural of hippopotamus is "hippopotami".
Use past tense of remember, "remembered" instead. Better flow.

"Oh, bother, this is so pathetic! I can't stand it. What am I going to do when she doesn't remember me? When she wonders who this strange dracoequus is in her house? When she goes looking for Golden Oaks library or Sugar Cube Corner, and they're gone? Or even when she forgets you and Twilight?" He asked... begged... as he looked up at Spike.

"Draconequus". You're missing an "n".

His yellow eyes swept over the pictures. The pony gang, of course. And the animals. So many animals. No children. It just never seemed to have come up. Instead an endless parade of people and creatures she'd help, because that was who she was. Pictures of him. Twilight had put sticky notes underneath all the pictures, but it hardly mattered. Her eyes were so weak, she couldn't read them, even if she could recall them. Quietly he walked into the parlor where she still dozed. The quilt had changed from pink with butterflies to blue with flamingos, but otherwise had kept her warm. Carefully, he picked her up and winked to her bedroom, tucking her under the comforter, kissing her pale yellow brow and brushing her mane aside. Her lips curled in a tiny smile.

I'd put a comma after "Quietly".
Use "into" instead of "in" for the last sentence.

"For how long, Discord?" Twilight countered softly. "We know you're magic isn't permanent. She might look young, and she might even act like you remember her acting, but she'd still be an old pony. He might not even survive it."

"Your", not "you're".
"She", missing an "s" in the last sentence.

"I know, but he's never been the same since the latest edition came out. 'Arcane Arbalist'? What's wrong with simply being an archer?" Of course once he'd been to terrified to even be that. He reached out and Spike extended a talon larger than the dracoequus's head. Discord shook it with both hands. "We never did rescue Smarity, did we?"

Mis-spelling for draconequus again.
"Shmarity", you're missing a "h".

"That darned Squizzard," Spike said, then turned his head away to hide his sobs.

Mis-spelling of Squizard.

It was subtle for his powers. Her mane turning a strawberry milkshake pink. The fog falling from her pale blue eyes. Her lips filling out into that placid smile. In a snap, he returned her to that moment when she was new. When he first learned how precious another person's love could be.

Swap out "person" with "creature".

But the snap was already fading, the pink draining from her mane. He just looked at Twilight, and in that look was the word 'please' and 'thank you' all in one glance.

Use plural of word.

Twilight stared at the pair, her chest aching. She summoned a marble pedestal, and place the pair firmly upon it. In the base, she carved the words, 'The Greatest Kindness.'

"On the base".

"For how long, Discord?" Twilight countered softly. "We know you're magic isn't permanent. She might look young, and she might even act like you remember her acting, but she'd still be an old pony. He might not even survive it."

"She might not even survive it."

9884203
"Good news, the character you've become attached to will probably get Alzheimer's disease and die a slow and painful death"

Just sayin' - they may be getting older, but age spells are not out of the question. They still have time. And Limbo if they really need it.

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