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It's just another day of weather bucking for Stormy Skies. Nothing special, as usual. Then, like a bolt out of the blue, everything changes and nothing is the same again. Now she finds herself accused for crimes she didn't commit and threatened by unknown assailants. But can she trust the mysterious mare, Misty Morning, or is she a part of the plot as well?

(Edited by Icy Shake)

Chapters (9)
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Comments ( 156 )

I hope folks like reading it and I look forward to feedback. Also, if folks want to support the author, the tip jar is David13ushey@gmail.com through Paypal. Bits are hugely appreciated.

Yay, you finished the chapter!

“We’ve worked too long and hard on this. Sorry, Stormy.” She dove straight towards Stormy. Didn’t look like Rosewing had paid close attention during her lightning management. The charcoal mare spun around, wrapped her hooves around Misty’s torso just as Rosewing dove straight in. Misty released the cloud, and with Stormy clinging to her back, the pair fell away.

I think last time I saw this story, it trailed off somewhere around this part.

I'm still entertained by it, and think the crystal-y thing is neat, and the story being fairly forward about the main characters pre-existing history is all coolbeans.
Still not sure I'm entirely on board with the tone, but if the other bits are still fascinating and whatnot, then I'll ride the ride and have fun on the way anyway. And it has the Mature and Dark tags appropriately, so I have little place to complain.

Thanks for sharing!

Ooh, interesting! Looking forward to seeing how this plays out.
By the way, approximately how long are you planning this story to be?

No idea. Let me put it this way...
I once thought that Horizons would only be about 300 pages long.

You've got my interest :)

"We don’t get call for crazy weather flying out in Ponyville… ever."
I'm not entirely sure what was meant here.

Misty's kind of giving me a "Hello I am a normal average pegasus pony and definitely not an alien."
Her being called a "mysterious mare" in the description isn't helping. :)

…Okay, two very surprising events in quick succession. Following the surprise of Rosewing showing up at all. You're certainly building a mystery.

Well! The plot certainly is thickening with great rapidity! :D

Needs more Blackjack. Also Rose is a, as Dues would say 'CUUUNNNTTTTTT'. Also was it Roseluck or Misty that had the boiled eyes and burnt wings?

'pon reading the description, one thing stuck out to me, more than anything else: ya gotta keep with them sky-related pun-metaphors. I'm talking "bolt from the blue" and all that.

Hmmm. Really intriguing. Liking it so far!

Well I guess I wasn't too lazy to create an account here after all...

"Oh, that a whole nother story,"

Oh, that would be a whole 'nother story,
-Or-
Oh, that's a whole 'nother story,
(Not sure about the apostrophe)

...We don’t get call for crazy weather flying out in Ponyville… ever.”

We don't get calls for crazy weather flying out in Ponyville... ever.

At times the tense felt off, like the majority of the story was originally written in first person, then the "I"s were changed to "she"s, but really, it did little to retract from the work.

Could you please put editing in a much bigger chunk? There is no find function in FimFic's Word Processor.

4732218 The 'Ctrl-F' command is fully functional in my browser view, but I can post larger chunks tomorrow

Larger chunkier chunks!

Stormy accepted the olive branch and nodded to the north, and together they took to the skies. "It's not far," she said, and noticed Misty Morning glancing back at the weather team headquarters. "Oh, hey, don't sweat it. Once everypony on the team knows you, it'll be smooth flying." Storm knew this air; the updraft from Ponyville Square and Sugarcube Corner lifting her higher while she avoided the cold air over Ponyville pond. "Rainbow's not the best manager, but she does care about her fliers."
"And you?" she asked with a worried frown.
"Oh, that a whole nother story," Stormy Skies sighed. To her credit, for all their clashes, Rainbow still hadn't fired her or forced a transfer. Once they both had enough altitude, they started their way towards the thick bank of clouds drifting towards Ponyville. Thunderlane and Bulk Biceps were ahead and above, and Stormy wasn’t in any mood to flock. Instead she moved more to the side while behind them a blue blur whipped through the air and did the work of ten ponies.
“So. Ponyville is… nice,” Misty said in a tentative voice inviting conversation. When Stormy didn’t answer, she went on. “It’s certainly… interesting…”

“Lots of history between you two?” Misty asked with a sympathetic smile.
“I dunno. People say we’re too much alike.” She rolled her eyes at that theory. “I have interests other than weather and she has other interests. I like to slack off when I’m bored. She takes naps like they’re going out of style. I have an attitude. She has an attitude. The only difference is she was never blamed for blowing up Ponyville. Twice.” Stormy knitted her brows and glanced skyward. “Sorry. Guess it is an issue for me.”
“Could be worse,” Misty replied, fumbling through the air as they hit a little gust to turbulence. “Whoa… okay! Steady… whew…”
“Not top of the flyers team, are you?” Stormy said with a teasing smile. Misty flushed. “Hey, don’t worry about it. We don’t get call for crazy weather flying out in Ponyville… ever.” She added flatly. “Just don’t let Rainbow Dash know

Also I see that the quotation marks in this passage are different than the others

Stormy accepted the olive branch and nodded to the north, and together they took to the skies. "It's not far," she said, and noticed Misty Morning glancing back at the weather team headquarters. "Oh, hey, don't sweat it. Once everypony on the team knows you, it'll be smooth flying." Storm knew this air; the updraft from Ponyville Square and Sugarcube Corner lifting her higher while she avoided the cold air over Ponyville pond. "Rainbow's not the best manager, but she does care about her fliers."
"And you?" she asked with a worried frown.
"Oh, that a whole nother story," Stormy Skies sighed. To her credit, for all their clashes, Rainbow still hadn't fired her or forced a transfer. Once they both had enough altitude, they started their way towards the thick bank of clouds drifting towards Ponyville. Thunderlane and Bulk Biceps were ahead and above, and Stormy wasn’t in any mood to flock. Instead she moved more to the side while behind them a blue blur whipped through the air and did the work of ten ponies.

While everywhere else they appear normally

She can go with, Rainbow Dash began, sweeping a wing across the few unassigned ponies remaining, pausing for a moment on a gray colt intern, Derpy, who eagerly grinned back, and finally settled on a prim white pegasus pony. “You! New girl. You just transferred in from Cloudsdale, right? Mmmmm….” Rainbow screwed up her face as she furrowed her brows. “Mmmmoonlight?”
“Misty Morning,” the mare corrected with a nervous smile. “I just got to Ponyville two days ago. I would have been here yesterday, but some pink earth pony insisted on throwing me a party.”

all she heard was a faint electronic squeal

Equestria has computers/electronics, and they're widely available enough to be recognizable?

Something about ‘oh no’, and then Misty Morning fell on Stormy’s head too.

Given this comes pretty quick on the heels about Stormy thinking Misty's been cooked, I immediately assumed that bits of Misty were glopping down on her head. :pinkiesick: So glad I re-read that for clarification.

“I just… it’s a job. I mean, managing weather is what most pegasi do, right?”

I'm not sure if this is meant to be a lore explanation for readers, Misty being clueless because she doesn't get out much, or Misty being clueless because she's not what she seems.

Misty gave a weak laugh, turning her eyes to the ground. “Yeah. Stupid cheating magic… heh…” She glanced at her. “You don’t like unicorns?”

Well, that's an interesting reaction. Wonder if we have a hornhead in disguise, or something more sinister.

Stormy flipped end over end again and smacked right into another cloud, blood coming out her nose.

Well, that got really dark, really fast.

Her hide had been flash cooked like a bad steak, and what remained of her wings were blackened pinions. All of her limbs were bent at odd angles, frozen in place from the voltage. The sockets were empty; the extreme heat had likely flash boiled her eyes.

Wow, brutal AND no chance for an obvious evil, like a changeling interloper. Tough luck, Red.

Don’t mess around with something that big. Just get out of the way

You two just have bad luck is all.

So, seeing as Rose wasn't deliberately going out of her way to kill these two initially, but rather was insistent on being on the team to the point that she disobeyed direct orders in order to deal with the clouds, I'm assuming that she was likely partly responsible for it being in such a dangerous state. This is compounded by the fact that, as Stormy said, thunderheads of that class should NOT be allowed out of the factory in the first place, which means that unless Rose has been working two jobs she must have a collaborator. This helps explain why officials were detaining Stormy when she really should have been whisked off to hospital herself. Weapons-grade lightning being co-opted, with multiple ponies involved? Apparently, there is quite the conspiracy afoot!

Apparently quotation marks get squirrelly around dashes. Who would'a thunk it?

“But I- the red mare said, looking stricken. “It’s a big job.”
“That’s okay. I have no intention of letting Stormy go off on herself.” Rainbow Dash said firmly.
Stormy rolled her brilliant yellow eyes and sighed. “Surprise surprise.”
“She can go with,” Rainbow Dash began, sweeping a wing across the few unassigned ponies remaining, pausing for a moment on a gray colt intern, Derpy, who eagerly grinned back, and finally settled on a prim white pegasus pony. “You! New girl. You just transferred in from Cloudsdale, right? Mmmmm….” Rainbow screwed up her face as she furrowed her brows. “Mmmmoonlight?”

“Yeah, tell me about it. I- Rainbow Dash began, then glared sourly at the charcoal gray mare. The cyan pegasus turned on hoof and trotted away. “Rumble. Derpy. I think I know what you can do during the party.”
Stormy sighed. That actually went far better than usual for her association with Rainbow Dash. She regarded the nervous, pale mare. Not much of a partner. Not that it was her call, regardless. “So. Misty Morning?” The pale mare gave a little nod and a nervous smile. “Let’s go. The sooner we dump these clouds in the desert, the sooner we can get off shift."

“Okay. Remedial lightning. It was pretty much the only part I stayed awake for too. I mean snow. It’s cold. It’s white. So what if all my snowflakes looked the same? There’s a bajillion of them, right?” Misty’s eyes returned to Stormy with a small smile and she cleared her throat. “Okay. So there’s four types of lighting… well, there’s five, but you’ll never see that one. And I refuse to call static sparks lightning!” Stormy said with a snort. “Sure, you might blacken a rump with a well timed kick but other than that-

Instead, two hooves slammed hard against the back of her head, hard enough to make her flip over. Thankfully, Stormy had a thicker skull than most ponies as she whirled around to face her. “Rosewing? What are you do- What the red pegasus did was slam both her rear hooves into Stormy’s face. Stormy flipped end over end again and smacked right into another cloud, blood coming out her nose. Rosewing dashed in once, twice, three times… her hooves smashing into Stormy with each strike.

Wow, great introduction to a new story.

Looking forward to more!

I don't think this is gonna be as simple as "the changelings did it".

"Twilight Sparkle casting mind control magic on fillies or Rarity turning the roads to gold, they usually weren’t enough of a risk to merit confinement"
Also, how exactly, in those two examples, would the ordinary police have been able to take the perpetrators into custody?

"“Truth magic wouldn’t expose the truth, just what you believe is true,” Princess Twilight said calmly. “And I think it’s pretty clear you believe just that.”"
O… kay. Um. What? Stormy fully believing her story is only compatible with Stormy being responsible for the lightning being there if Stormy is insane or under the effects of memory magic, in which case further action is obviously called for. That doesn't seem to be happening, so… What? I suppose that they could be planning to carry on an investigation in secret… that doesn't explain why they expected Stormy to not notice the oddity, but she apparently indeed hasn't…
What on Equus is going on here?
…Hm. Well, if they thought Stormy was insane, she obviously wouldn't have been let go. So they probably think that there's a spellcaster with memory magic involved. This spellcaster either modified Stormy's memories by her request, in which case they're both in a lot of trouble, or against her will, in which case she gets let off and the spellcaster is in a lot of trouble. But they don't mention this. Hm. Lack of evidence. And either she's a victim who might be visited again or a conspirator who'll probably meet with her compatriot. Valuable to watch. Now, why would they think that she'd not notice the oddity of the way she was let go? …If she's a criminal, she'll just take the excuse, pretend not to notices, and run. If she's a victim… she'll be in an agitated state of mind, eager to leave, and possibly operating under a suggestion to report. A bit flimsy, but they're gathering data on a serious issue. Okay, so, presumed motive, and the reason why they claim (assuming that Stormy's right) that the lightning wasn't what it was. Hm. If Stormy's a victim, someone could be trying to get her in trouble. If she's a criminal… Ahhh. That's why they claimed it was less than it was. They wanted to see how she'd react. So, she gets let loose with only a minor punishment (since no punishment would be suspicious) and gets kicked off the weather team so that she has fewer ties and less stability. And then they watch to see what happens…
Okay, I think this works. On with the story!

"Might as well name him Captain Suspicious Evilguy."
:D

…Well, the plot certainly thickened even more there! And the protagonist prosecuting ponies' ploy seems to already be paying off quite a bit.

4745326
Yeah.

What? Stormy fully believing her story is only compatible with Stormy being responsible for the lightning being there if Stormy is insane or under the effects of memory magic, in which case further action is obviously called for.

You're thinking too deeply about this. In real life, people's memories often alter so that they don't have to live with guilt. If you accidentally killed someone in a chaotic situation, you might instead remember the event as self-defense, or someone else being at fault. That's all I think Twilight's implying.

We're still in the early stages, so I don't have much to say about the story yet, but it's interesting so far! Continue...

4746099
If that was the case, wouldn't they have sent her to therapy? Otherwise, they'd have a mare who collected Class B lightning, took it into the field, accidentally killed a coworker with it, and then so thoroughly deluded herself that even truth magic would show her as believing the story; she'd therefore learn nothing from it, and from her perspective she'd be being punished without cause. Additionally, she'd have less trust in her own memory. In other words, they'd either be punishing an innocent or pushing a dangerous mare a bit further towards mental instability. That does not seem to me to be a course that they'd likely take. The only way I can see their actions making sense is still the investigation being quietly ongoing and Stormy being a pony of interest.

I'd like to thank Icy Shake for helping me edit this. He caught a lot of really embarrassing:applejackunsure: errors.

“She didn’t have any,” Stormy Skies cut her off. Reckless and rude, but Stormy didn’t care. Throw her back into the jail cell. “Her mom and dad are both dead. Feather flu. She was an only child.”

No-one talked to Rosewing as though she was at risk of death. It sounds like a cover for something, Rosewing's family "disappeared" and Rosewing was making a final appearance at work before she herself "died of feather flu" and joined them. :pinkiecrazy:

4750924
...Hm. Now that seems an interesting point, yes...

I really like Stormy, even if she keeps ending up in awkward situations due to her hobby. Her enjoyment of lightning banging and collecting and whatnot reminds me of my own enjoyment of balloon banging and collecting and whatnot. And ultimately, I kinda want to give her a big hug.

Though if she lets her tongue get ahead of her mind too often, that's probably gonna get her into some real trouble.

that somepony in Cloudsville smuggled an extremely dangerous form of lightning from the city

Just thought I should let you know.

As for the chapter, It was great. I wish she would have said "I bet she’d say that if she was banned from racing for something she didn’t do" out loud instead of thinking it. That really would have impacted Rainbow.

I also noticed how flawlessly you are able to blend stream of consciousness with a third person narrative. It is an extremely impressive feat that you seem to have mastered. It works very well, and it is exemplary of how good of a writer you are.

As for the character of Stormy. She is extremely believable and relatable after only two chapters. Despite being unable to see her physiognomies, her colloquialisms paint a vivid picture. She clearly has defined quirks, morals, skills, and inadequacies. I totally understand her interest in lightning. I think that electricity is an awe inspiring phenomenon.

Keep on writing because you are great at it. If you ever move away from fanfiction and become a professional author, I will most definitely be buying you books.

"“It doesn’t,” Misty replied absently, and then realized that she had three pairs of eyes on her.  Immediately, she started doing the looking away thing Fluttershy had a moment before.  “I read it in a book.  Truth magic is notoriously unreliable and illegal.  The spells Twilight could have used wouldn’t have revealed anything you didn’t already believe was true.  Essentially, she could have cast a spell to detect if you were actively trying to deceive her, but it might have not gone off because you convinced yourself it was true, or it might have gone off because you were trying to put yourself in the best light to not get in trouble.”"
“I don’t know anything about magic! Why would you assume I do?”
Smooooth.
The clarification on the truth magic is good, though, I think, and addresses my concerns for the previous chapter. Though I imagine that Stormy would have been happier if she had just been released to be tailed and the brown stallion ran into an alicorn princess at the door.

"It lasted a good nine months."
:D

And a viewpoint shift…

"Unicorn becomes a Princess and they treat her like royalty. Pegasus becomes a Princess and they make her a foalsitter until she’s hitched to a unicorn husband."
…Hm. Tribalism aside, that's an interesting point.

And my, the plot does seem to be thickening!

On the right of the middle two was a stallion who looked eerily familiar to the one that attacked her.

Eerily similar, perhaps?

Her in a cave? She’d certainly remember that!
Wouldn’t she?

Memory problems? Or is she a sleeper agent, I wonder?

"It lasted a good nine months.”

Apple Barns collapse with startling regularity.

Misty and Twilight in the same place at once? There goes that theory :D


Found a couple of typos

A small white rabbit in a nurse's cap hopped out of a back room carrying a wooden box twice is size. He set it down next to Fluttershy, pulling it open and revealing a dazzling display of medicinal materials… and some not so medicinal. What was with the chewed up stick and why did she need a lump of beeswax? Fluttershy got to work, and Stormy kept still to let her help her wing.

Calm down. Breathe. There was a unicorn guard down there and he couldn’t risk alerting him. There was work to do. It was critical things be allowed to calm down. That the situation be controlled. He had the worst evidence from Rosewing’s apartment; she’d been dangerous keeping anything incriminating in Ponyville, but then Rosewing had been a stickler for detail.

It was critical for things to be allowed to calm down?

“I get it. No lightning!” Stormy Skies snapped sharply. The office suddenly became very quiet as every pony on the weather team stared at her in shock and disapproval.”
Kinda weird. Everything about this scene has pointed toward the idea that this kind of exchange happens every time RD hands down orders, yet they're all still shocked (punpunpun). I guess Stormy usually just sits there and takes RD's disrespect?

“ She only needs the rest of us when she doesn’t need the skies empty, or she’s got training, or her friends need her.” “
Or she's tired, or has a hangover, or her butt itches. You know, as necessary.

“I dunno. People say we’re too much alike.”
Yeah, that's pretty apparent.

“ I have interests other than weather and she has other interests.”
Really? Isn't lightning weather? I wonder what her preferred application is, then... maybe destruction?
And Rainbow Dash's interests do not contain weather at all. Kinda an odd comparison...

"wonderbolts" <-- capitalize

“ We don’t get much call for crazy weather flying out in Ponyville… ever.”“
Hmmm. I'm... curious where anyone gets crazy weather from. Pegasi make all the weather, right? The only place uncontrolled weather could come from is the Everfree Forest, and I figure the forest isn't big-enough to really make that much of an impact if Ponyville never gets bad weather despite the forest's proximity...

““You’re flying along and then all of a sudden, kerzap! Boom! Your life changes like that!” She snapped her tail.“
Ha! That is WONDERFULLY ominous!

“ Maybe Misty was one of those freaky arcanosexuals or something.”
...wow, we’ve got a racist one, here.

"Class A lightning could stop a heart just with just an errant filament of energy."

“ Then she spotted what was cooking. Her hide had been flash cooked like a bad steak, and what remained of her wings were blackened pinions. All of her limbs were bent at odd angles, frozen in place from the voltage. The sockets were empty; the extreme heat had likely flash boiled her eyes. “
Hahaha!
Gosh, electrocution is SUCH a way to go!:rainbowlaugh:

Chapter end. That was fun but, holy crud, the paramedics didn't even try to pick Stormy up? I guess the ambulance was called beforehand about who they weren't supposed to save.

Is the name of this chapter "Weather Patterns" or "Weather Cycles"? It's got one name in fimfic and the other in the actual document...

I love this claustrophobia narrative.

“ What’s more likely, that somepony in Cloudsdale smuggled an extremely dangerous form of lightning from the city, even when Cloudsdale’s inventory says none is missing, and that Rosewing attacked you when you discovered it, or that a mare who’s gotten in trouble with lightning in the past had another illegal collection, that blew up and killed a coworker?”“
Neither, really. I fail to see a plausible narrative as to how she smuggled enough class D lightning out there to have that great of an effect, let alone why she would. If they are so sure it was a mess of class D the question should be where THAT came from. If they are so sure they were Stormy's, why is Stormy so certain they absolutely were not? Some kind of memory spell?
But no, case closed.
This is a very high order of idiotic. Not that I'd expect Stormy to recognize the BS. She's barely survived a lightning explosion with injuries that, apparently, are being left entirely untreated (honestly, other than the burns, she's not even being treated for a concussion and she was struggling not to pass out after her fall), then was subjected unmercifully to a claustrophobia-inducing jail cell (the adrenalin of which is likely suppressing the expression of her injuries), and is now in front of a flipping tribunal.
If these are supposed to be the good guys, they flipping suck at it.

“ “Her mom and dad are both dead. Feather flu. She was an only child.”“
Holy crap, Feather flue is a potentially deadly disease and no one seemed to mind Rosewing not only being around the rest of the weather fliers, but not going to the hospital for it?
There is something wrong with these ponies.

“ Stormy managed to trot out of Ponyville town hall without falling over or being sick.”
...yeah, I’m still surprised this never caught up with her.

“ and her instrument”
It's kinda awkward how long it took for this question to be answered.

“ “Darkstar?” She sat up and regarded the other mare, checking if she was serious. “How does a pony named Darkstar end up Captain of the royal guard? For that matter, who names their foal ‘Darkstar’?” Might as well name him Captain Suspicious Evilguy.
“You’re not the only one who’s said so,” Misty said with a little smile. ”
Yeah. Honestly, I read that entire bit in Rainbow Dash's voice.
Stormy really is a lot like her... just a bit less of a jerk.

“ Stormy rolled on her stomach, licking some of the crackling residue and enjoying the sharp acrid taste... and getting a funny look from her guest. ”
Wow, lightning-eating!
I really hope that becomes a thing. I can imagine a pegasus pony putting on a circus show, spinning and throwing double-ended lightning rods, each end ablaze with St. Elmo's fire, culminating with pouring a hoofful of tiny crystals like sand into her mouth before spewing across one end of the rod a wide arc of lighting straight up into the air...

“ When Stormy nodded, Misty glared at it. “Why does it go to eleven?”
Stormy snorted. “Well duh. Eleven is louder than ten."“
Nice reference.

“ She took a deep breath and began to play the Equestrian anthem.”
Wow, Stormy abuses that guitar that much and it's still in tune? Talk about quality...

“ “Yeah, but… I have a clean record. If I got caught, they might go easy on me?” “
Yeah, I've just been waiting to see who/what this mare is since "I'm just a weatherpony".

"She’d like to say nothing, but she really didn’t know."
Should "nothing" be "something"?

" Cloudy lane"
Should "lane" be capitalized, too?

“the two bandaged mares”
I guess I should have just assumed this entire time that Stormy was treated for her injuries right after getting to jail.

““It’s me,” Stormy murmured. “Misty, it’s me.”“
...it looks more like your entire class from that year.
Why is this so significant? Has she never seen a picture of herself before?

Enjoying the story so far. This story definitely seems less epic than PH. No "scenery porn", ‘though some hints of your dramatic flourishes still linger. The "waterfall of hair" from the first chapter. The vivid description of the corpse in the second. I feel like those are more commonplace in PH, but that might just be because the chapters in PH are longer so there are more instances in them.

It's obviously also all less dark and violent. I wonder how often ponies die in such violent ways around Ponyville? I wonder how the incident will be spun.

If you don't mind me saying so, I'm worried you're going to have ponies angry at Stormy, throwing rocks and stuff, if you go with your usual style. Ponies always responded to Blackjack with anger. I feel like vanilla Ponyville would be more likely to just shun her. This is a sad state of affairs and violence is not the go-to solution in a town where almost no one ever ends up in jail.

Anyway, I'm hoping Stormy's voice gets a little more developed. She's supposed to be more like Rainbow Dash, right? Aggressive, assertive, takes charge. She's currently being far more reactionary, in my opinion. She's letting Misty dictate what happens. She didn't respond to this injustice with anger, but defeat. Reminds me of Blackjack, which RD is not.

In any case, this is an enjoyable new story. It doesn't have as strong of an immediate hook as I've gotten used to from the stories I usually pick up nowadays but I am looking forward to more once I find time for it.

...but one last thing: Who the frick is Misty? She's "just a weather pony" claiming no specialization, doesn't know anything about lightning (or, likely, weather in general), doesn't know how to move clouds, doesn't know how to cut clouds... really! Sure, maybe she's just shy, but she wanged that stallion in the head really good for someone so skittish. I don't know how she could have managed it, but I just have this feeling she intended to get assigned to those stormclouds and was being so gentle because she didn't know which might contain the lightning.

...by which I mean, either she didn't honestly thing ANY of them could contain it, but she was being gentle with all of them in order to remain consistent and less questionable, or she knew exactly which one contained the lightning, intended to open it, and (again) was being delicate in order to be consistent.

There's something seriously off about her...

I'm gonna guess...

Nazis. Pegasus Nazis.

Also, "and fine something" should be corrected.

" If it were a fracture… well… it’s probably a sprain."
I should hope so. All the guy did was bite it. He wasn't a crocodile.

" A small white rabbit in a nurse's cap hopped out of a back room carrying a wooden box twice is size" <-- his size

"There’s are salamanders "

" I suppose if you had fireproof boots or magic, you could collect the mucus, dry it out, and start a fire that way.”
Fluttershy: "Then you could burn down that cloud house your parents bought for you in the middle of town, collect the insurance money and buy a much nicer little cottage way over near the forest where it's quiet and you can have all the little animals visit and live with you without breaking any city ordinances.
...um, I mean, if that's what you wanted to do. I've certainly never done it before. Or even thought about it! N-nice weather we're having lately, r-right? Ha... haha..."

" went to Rosewing’s house to try and fine something" <-- find

"If you’re clever enough, you can phrase anything to answer nothing at all, but still not technically lie."
That only works if the asker isn't really paying attention to the answer.

By the way, I no longer am annoyed by Misty. Lots of good clues as to her origins, now. Perhaps too many. For someone who clearly previously was involved in either elicit or covert activities, she's got a problem with running her mouth.
But as long as Stormy finds her questionable as well, I don't feel as frustrated with how obvious it is that she's hiding a ton.

" “You seriously think that Stormy collected enough lightning to do that to a barn and a pony?” Twilight asked. “I did the math. If she collected one D Class bolt of lightning a day, it'd take her two years and nine days to gather enough to cause an explosion of that magnitude. Where would she hide all that lightning? Why would she be transporting it today in the middle of the day? Where? Why? It doesn't make any sense.”
"
Oh, wow, so this ISN'T a dumb Twilight!
...now I seriously wonder who could have convinced this princess to lie and scapegoat an innocent mare.
No matter why or how, Twilight's an ass for laying this all on Stormy with such certainty if she had such strong doubts.

" Stormy gets knocked out and doesn't even remember it."
Oh, well that explains everything.

" Twilight said with a frown. “It feels like something's going on. I don't see how Stormy or Misty could be behind it. Lots of things don't make sense.”"
Twilight, you barely know Misty. That's the point... no one does.
I think the only obvious thing here is, while this whole incident likely involved Stormy and Misty, it had to also involve a bunch of other ponies. Neither of them had the time or opportunity to gather a huge lightning collection and get it to where that bolt went off. Even if you threw Rosewing into the conspiracy, too, there had to be more involved.

“After the fire at Rosewing's and witnesses saying she fled the scene... well... we don't know.”
They made a B-line for Fluttershy's from there. I'm surprised witnesses didn't state that, if Twilight or the police got a statement from them.
There should, at least, be an organized search in this direction for them. But Twilight's not mentioning that, so... I guess not?

“Darkstar. Really. Who names their kid that?” Rainbow Dash shivered. "Guy's creepy.”
Missed Opportunity
Rainbow Dash: "Darkstar. Really. Who names their kid that? Might as well of named him Captain Suspicious Evilguy."
Stormy: *mental facehoof*

“Uh... bad idea. The guards are looking for us, remember?” Stormy pointed out in alarm."
...well, they are looking for Stormy. Twilight just said that Misty had gone missing, IIRC. She wasn't spotted leaving the scene of the fire and hasn't been "missing" for more than a few hours, in all likelihood. Just long-enough to get discharged from the hospital, have a quick stop at Stormy and Rosewind's houses, then fly to Fluttershy's. If she wanted to, Misty could walk into town and say she was just on a short hike through Whitetail Woods to help clear her mind after her ordeal.
Just doesn't seem like much of a big deal to me given the only ones curious about her lack of a history are Rainbow Dash and Stormy.

" All in Ponyville was still. The smoke from the dirtpony barn fire still contaminated the air, but what was new about that? The filth had always polluted the skies with their stink as they ran around, savages shackled to the ground. How could the pegasus ponies down here stand it? They must have lived down here for so long that they’d become inured to the reek."
Ah, you KNOW he's evil because he's racist, just like Stormy!
Wait...
(I know this sounds like a joke, but seriously, I'm guessing her racism might be an effect of her involvement in this group of bad guys, whether she remembers said involvement or not)

" Enough ponies had seen the pair escape"
Okay, so I guess I made another bad assumption. When Twilight said witnesses had seen Stormy fleeing the scene, she means "and Misty, too".

" There hadn’t been any action from that damned Princess beyond helping the mudpony clear away the charred remains of her barn."
I find it kinda weird there's no racial slur for alicorn.

" Pegasus becomes a Princess and they make her a foalsitter until she’s hitched to a unicorn husband."
...huh. Is Cadence the only reason this guy doesn't have a racial slur for alicorn?
I mean, she married a unicorn, so she's a race traitor... I would think he'd have little to no respect for her.

Chapter done. This was pretty interesting. Looking forward to the next one. That's all, pretty much...

Hey, Somber. A nice, petty criticism for today:
If you don't mind, please use put a single space between sentences rather than two spaces (you can easily change old chapters by doing Find -> Replace All). The reason I ask is because Fimfiction assumes that writers put a single space between sentences, and adjusts spacing accordingly. Double spaces confuse Fimfiction. When I read a story with double spaces on a screen with a narrow width (like an ereader or a 7-inch tablet) there are often spacing glitches that jar me from the experience.
It's minor, but annoying and frequent. See here, where there's a line in the middle with only four words. Issues like that happen often when you use double spacing.

Anyway, as for the chapter itself? Great. We're still mostly in the introduction phase of the story, so there's disappointingly little that I can think of to talk about, but what's here is good. Keep it up!

Hi, good chapter and all that, found a couple errors

Every pegasi received a basic education in flying perils

'All pegasi' or 'every pegasus'

"There is no need for fears, so please relax and calm your fears."

This is what's called cheating when it comes to rhyming, noticeable to people who care, unless it was intentional.

Right after the last one there's a missing period before the scene break, too.

Huh. That was seeming increasingly more likely, but it's still a surprise.

Hm. Zecora has an uncanny valley effect for Stormy?

Interesting talent…
Oh. And no wonder you're trying to hide it.

"sorry"
"worry"
…That doesn't really rhyme in my dialect, but you're still doing better at writing Zecora than I expect I could.

"As long as we have the Princesses, it doesn’t matter what kind of pony you are."
And that's not ominous at all! :D
(Not that I think Misty meant anything by it, but given what the villains seem to be wanting…)

“Sisters! We can share the testiest treats!” Buzzard cackled, rubbing her hands together.

I think you meant "tastiest"?

I’m sure that some of that is bound to come in useful.

You might want to go with handy, or, because they don't have hands, something else entirely.

Rosewing tries ta kill me

I'm not sure if this is vernacular or a typo.

Hah, "It's not that I dislike unicorns, I just resent them."

Zecora's dialogue gets really awkward at times, but a decent chapter overall.

Misty is... really annoying.

Oh ho ho! Someone took a leaf from Gandalf's book XD

4836358 Annoying how so? And is it a problem or a characterization?

This chapter in particular isn't really my kind of thing, but it's pretty cool to see Harpies in relation to pony lore, and the plot was progressed. So yay!
I guess my thing is that so far most of my amusement is from my projecting onto and relating with Stormy herself, and being amused at really-obvious-bad-guy's-questionable-name. And while I'm not particullarly fond of changelings- they're too close to vampires (which I hate) for my comfort- it's interesting that there's a clear distinction drawn between them and whatever it is Misty is.

I look forward to the ongoing silliness and misadventures. Thanks for sharing!

Edit: Also, Yay Zecora!

4837968
Her overreaction, putting words in Stormy's mouth and being generally unfair, then dropping into the Everfree forest and immediately getting captured... that was annoying.
Previously I found it annoying how bad she was at lying, yet so insistent upon it. She just jumped head-first into a weather job with no prior research as to what it entailed on its most basic level. She's generally oblivious and fairly dim witted, despite the breadth of her knowledge in certain areas. She whines about buying all that pointless crap, then whines about possibly leaving it, then is pretty much perfectly fine with Stormy carrying it.
She also goes from being timid to proactive to timid again at the drop of a hat. If she's going to follow Stormy's lead, she should follow it rather than insisting on random, stupid actions and decisions that only make things more difficult for the mare that was beat up, blown up, put on trial and is now on the run.
Heck, if they end up being captured, I'm willing to bet they'll throw a kidnapping charge on Stormy, the violent criminal with a record, and (yet again) take the pretty little white mare in hysterics to the hospital to rest and recover from her ordeal.

She is absolutely a mess and I'm not at all surprised others have told her as much in the past. I can't help wishing Stormy actually had told her off and been mean to her so that Misty would have had a good reason to run off crying rather than doing so simply because she's an overemotional dope.

For what it's worth, I like Misty, and am intrigued to learn more about her.

Another solid chapter. The whole concept of lingering tensions between the pony tribes just adds to it. I can only guess that there's a pegasus extremist group behind the Rosewing incident, that Stormy used to be part of the group, even if she's forgotten it (hence her resentment of unicorns), and so forth. Now, how Misty ties into that conspiracy, if at all, I have no idea.

Aaaand the plot thickens eve further. :)

"Both Princess Celestia and Luna came and helped magic away a lot of the injuries"
Interesting.

"I thought all the laws were just things Princess Celestia decided"
Luna: "Right, right, don't mind me! I'm only the co-ruler of the country and one of the immensely powerful ponies who helped heal you! I'll just be here, sitting on the floor beside my sister's big impressive throne. It's not as if me feeling neglected ever lead to problems, after all; I'll be fine!"

Twilight is more powerful than Cadance? :derpyderp2: I mean, magically she is, but Cadance has a higher political rank.

And since she's a Pegasus instead of a Unicorn, she gets to cast mind control spells without violating the accords!

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