"...what did I just even read." - Wintermist || "Pour la beauté du geste" || ooo || π
It had been a perfectly ordinary day for Twilight. She'd gone about her business, then she'd come back to her library, she'd said Spike goodnight and she'd curled up in her bed, ready to sleep the night away. She didn't think there would be any reason for her to wake up. She would have never been able to guess the reason.
The cover image is taken from picture number 233462 on Derpibooru, which I cannot link directly as per Fimfiction's rules, since it contains gore.
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Holy... that was strangely beautiful... And an interesting idea. I give large props. Kyu~...
Holy ****...that was some Lovecraftian **** right there. Very creative and cryptic in all the right ways. I'm glad I read that.
Oh. Ohhhh! Faved!
Sweet, delicious cocktail of darkness.
ok
Wonderful!
Brutal.
...I’m not sure how to react to this.
Pretty nice rendition of what could be the other side of the coin called: quantum suicide.
I like it!
Nice use of repetition to add gravity to the prose.
So Twilight is the most accident-prone pony in the world... but 'Fate' has decided there must be Twilight, so it keeps making a 'new' Twilight... despite merely repairing her body at the cellular level being a far more practical solution.
I mean, just make her Wolverine, and she'll be almost indestructible.
Fates are stupid.
I loved this! Its so well written!
There is nothing worse.
There is nothing better.
Than missed opportunities.
Than opportunities gained.
Q: “*That* is the exploration that awaits you. Not mapping stars and studying nebulae, but charting the unknown possibilities of existence.”
9775540
to 
: "So do Alicorns die?"
: Yes, but No.
: Wut?
9775540
Seems more like each Twilight is just as real as the last, each dead Twilight is a shard of her soul, the "Scream" collects the shards and follows Twilight around, but exists on the spirit plane. If her Alicorn transformation came with immortality then "the Scream" would have stopped existing afterward, the missing pieces being reabsorbed into Twilight proper. Twilight seems to have gotten more mentaly stable after her Transformation, if having the "scream" following her produced spiritual stress, being a death spirit, then it's vanishing would remove the stressor. Since Alicorn Twi can't die fate doesn't need to keep bringing her back and leaving behind shards the death spirit collects.
Hee yea I know probably much more complex than the author meant.
i.ytimg.com/vi/Zj3WckGZz7U/maxresdefault.jpg
YOU WILL NEVER REACH THE TRUTH, TWILIGHT SPARKLE
9775540
I think you misunderstand the authors intent.
The Scream represents all the pain, suffering, and frankly death she's avoided and is the amalgamation of all the "twilight" was removed when she died.
She's dying on the spiritual level, but not physical. The guy who posted G.E.R is sort of on the money, in a weird unintended way.
Plus, the thing keeping her alive isn't that powerful, and doesn't seem to act directly as these "scream fragments" seem to all be impossible.
SOMEONE would have noticed any of them. if twilight died in a duel and just came back, she and her opponent would know.
Instead the scream is all the "what ifs" put together in one being of pure suffering.
Knowing you are dead would have to have taken a toll, and twilight only rejoined with it in the sense that she remembered the fragments through touch.
Interesting. Though I wonder why her heart would have given out. The other deaths are accidental, that one speaks more to poor health or genetic issues.
9776057
Because the author is inexperienced and heart attack was the first death hed thought of
I can't say that I enjoyed this. Probably because none of those deaths happened.
This is just every thing that could have gone wrong, in this case, a random heart attack in the middle of the night, gaining life and following her around.
So what happens when she really dies? Will she be forced to experience every pain that never happened? Is there a "scream" following everyone just waiting to impart endless torture on everyone for no apparent reason?
Dark and mysterious, and written in a way that invites readers' to take their own interpretations of the prose. Nicely done!
9775911
I would counter that it is very powerful. It's performing an action which takes quite a great deal of effort and energy. It's simply wasting its energy doing something far more impractical than basic repair.
Hm... not sure how I feel about this. The repetitions are a good stylistic tool, but the actual content left me uninterested. The idea isn't something you see every day though.
9776541
Well yes and no. It's preventing the death's from ever happening. Power isn't universal and it doesn't seem to be just Omnipotent but instead has control over the weave of fate.
Then again, I've seen the type of comments you make and I doubt you'd allow much nuance in something you don't like
9776642 So it can control fate... but has to do so in such a bizarrely indirect manner... rather than just altering a few steps here and there.
Ugh, fate makes so little sense regardless. It's no surprise it was abandoned during the Age of Enlightenment... and no shock that's it's making a comeback now in the Age of Deterioration.
9776647
Yeah I'm not a fate of fate or fatalistic literature myself I just think you misunderstood the story in your initial comment.
I like this story simply because it feels like this author is taking a step in the right direction for their writing style, but this personal story I gave a B-
Part of me dislikes this, because it doesn't appear to make sense in a number of ways. What happens when she actually dies, for example? It's just a bunch of what ifs, and nothing more. Sort of a paradox of existence, since none of it really can exist while twilight lives, and yet they exist in that they all very nearly happened. Nothing is shown as to the function of this scream, or how it has protected Twilight. Simply that it is, and is not.
And that right there is why I like it. For in it's most frustrating form, it has forced me to think, and that is what art in any form should do. Truly poor art is that which fades from memory without being noticed.
This is just begging for a second and third and fourth read. The tone is easily my favorite thing going on here--everything's colored that perfect shade of dark. Thanks for sharing!
Ok, what the fuck.
9776078
Equimorto is anything but inexperienced, lol.
9777586
I didn't mean inexperienced as a writer, I meant, in my ignorant assumption, a person. I'm sorry
9777586
I PMed him or her an apology
9775875
HELL NO! Najimari no Golden Wind!
As many people seem to be, I'm a bit stuck on this one. The concept is great. The level of creepiness is perfect and it does have the right tone for evoking the emotions the author likely wants us to feel. But with the way the site works, given that the story minimum is 1000 words, and this story hits that right on the mark, it makes me feel like the author just wrote up a bunch of different ways to die just so he could hit the word minimum. Some of these seem very unrealistic for Twilight, even though they're primarily accidents. Many of them are accidents that Twilight, in character, could and consciously would easily avoid.
This doesn't deserve a downvote, but I don't think I can upvote it, either.
Dam! That leaves a lasting inflection to think about. Going to have to see if I can work my mind around this. Would you be angry if I incorporated this idea into a DND one shot I am working on?
I really like the idea. That fate/destiny (or powerful being) has decided that Twilight must live but can't completely erase the deaths so an entity of suffering was created.
If you like horror you should check out the S.C.P universe. Something like this would fit rather well there.
What
Dont take this comment seriously its just a few funny thought based off the story.
Bet you celestias scream has alot of cake related deaths. Death by chocolate was probably a name someone came up with due to celestia dying after eating a chocolate cake. Alicorns aren't really immortal it's the screams keeping them around so they have enough of themselves to play poker on Friday nights. I call shenanigans how could twilight not have one sex related fatality by now. Cadance probably has atleast 3 by now and celestia and Luna atleast a few dozen between them.
So...The Elder God from the Legacy of Kain series is known as "the scream" now? Poor Yog-Sothoth. First his series dies, and now he's called "the scream".
I like the short little vignette
I think what I take away from it is the idea that their are many "possible" ways we can die. Many versions of the past,present or future that COULD play out and they follow us like ghosts. Yet like ghosts they are fleeting for they are only "possibility" not "reality"
9780750
Last I checked the Elder God of Kain fame never had a name. It claimed to be the hub of the wheel of fate but never actually gave a moniker for itself. I used to joke about it because it meant that the late great Tony Jay had Elder God on his resume.
9781007
Ooh! I get to plug a YouTube series here!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g63IzB0ZVos&list=PLNC_sRuPtMomRdD3RUxFBc_NhrKQ5gG6A
9776647
Hey! You over there! You obviously never experienced the glory that is the Legacy of Kain series, or you would appreciate fate far more!
9781145
Watched the first episode, I would watch more but the third voice annoys me to much to continue. Decent sense of humor though.
9781147
What the hell is... (one Internet search later)….
And of course it's a game series. Gee, why don't I look to Super Mario Bros for my philosophy too.
9781264
you're reading too far into it, as much as I want to say that it's fate that protects her in this story that isn't the case. In fact I'd say this story isn't about protection at all, this is survivors guilt. Before you try to write that off I'm not saying she survived some event that took the lives of others. This story is showing what happens in a mind too intelligent for it's own good as the sun goes down, and all that's left is that the incessant voice in the back of your head just wont shut up about all the ways you could've died today. Because in the end that's what all intelligent people fear, whether they admit it or not, the candle going out and not having done enough while it was lit.
9781172
Aw...alright. It's the seventh episode's intro that explains what I was talking about earlier.
9781264
Because you've obviously never seen this:
See? Philosophy can come from anywhere, you close-minded individual. So, before you condemn something, how about you actually do a bit more research on it? It's because of people like you that we have mass shootings like the one in El Paso, Texas and Dayton, Ohio. You make me violently ill.
9781315
Good to know, and apologies if I have given any offense in criticizing something you enjoy. I unfortunately am very audio focused and so their are certain sounds and pitches that tend to bother me way more than most people. As an example I wasn’t able to play Okami until I started taking medication to help calm my nerves as the repetition of the voice loops gave me problems.