• Member Since 9th Sep, 2017
  • offline last seen 5 minutes ago

BradyBunch


You are going to LOVE ME!

T

Shining Armor needs to use the bathroom. Twilight Sparkle wants to turn this into a clopfic. Shining Armor will have none of that.

A gift for anonpencil

Chapters (1)
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!
Comments ( 20 )
PiMan #2 · July 12th · · ·

Everything made sense until the last scene; a twisted and somewhat funny kind of sense, but still sense.
What's with the final scene?

9727163
Yes! I succeeded!
9727164
That's the opening cutscene of Skyrim.

9727163
Also, thanks for finding this absolutely unfunny. It was the goal from the beginning. 'Twas my proud privilege to make you retch in disgust. I shall continue to confuse and shock my readers in the future!

9727198 TBH, my Pinkie Pie reaction was mostly at the ending. I got the reference. But I think that meme works better in video, as it was just such a complete non-sequitur in text.

I genuinely found a few parts funny. Such as:

Twilight, after a pause, continued from behind the bathroom door. "Weren't you going to screw me?"
He looked back in utter shock. He felt like he had been hit by a bolt of lightning. "What?!" exploded Shining Armor.
"You know… I would plead for you not to tell mom, and you'd promise that you won't, but only if I screwed you in return. That's how this is supposed to work, right?"
"Ew! No!" he shot back, sticking out his tongue. "Gah!"

I can appreciate it when someone deconstructs a trope. If nothing else, it helps writers be more aware of cliche writing.

I think this could have been a genuinely good and funny deconstruction of the TwiShine ship with more focus on Twilight trying to apply her hilarious porno logic to Shining Armor playing the reasonable straight-man. But that's if you would want to make such an effort for more than a shit-fic regarding the subject.

The only parts that really turned me off was everything scat related. :pinkiesick:

Even in something as... well, strange and unappealing as this...

Your reference game is still on point.

"Hey, you," said the man right across from him. "You're finally awake."

Seriously?!? :rainbowlaugh:

Also I think this needs a random tag.

Please don’t tell mom.

Good. Good job.

that happened.

9727476
Should I have added blood as well? Or was it good enough, for my first time writing intentionally bad?

This shit had me in stitches, start to finish. Well done!

9727940
Aww, thanks! I hoped people would laugh at this. Please, check out my other work. I hope you like it.

God damn you Todd Howard!!!

Shining crapped so hard, he went to another universe. LOL

I am not sorry.

Maybe you should be.

Login or register to comment
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!