It's Just Magic!
There comes a time in every filly's life when she asks The Question:
"Where do little foals come from?"
And immediately feels like she's being given the runaround.
The Cutie Mark Crusaders were feeling it in triplicate. They kept asking, and kept getting in reply the same calm, simple, unflustered answer. And they were getting royally tired of it.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
"But where do they come from?" Sweetie Belle demanded.
"I've already told you, dearest," Rarity said, completely unruffled as she fed another bolt of cloth through her sewing machine. "It's just magic."
"But that's no answer!" The unicorn filly scowled. "If you don't really know, you should just say so!"
"I don't know all the specifics," Rarity allowed. "But no one does, really. It just works, and you get a little bundle of joy out of it -- sometimes more than one, like with the Cakes -- so what's to worry?"
"But..."
"Now run along, Sweetie! I've got ten gown orders to fill by tonight!"
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
"Aw, c'mon, sis!" Apple Bloom shouted. "Why cain't you tell me? I'm your own sister!"
"Now look, sugarcube, I already told ya..." Applejack flung another bale of hay on the pile stacked up in the barn. "And on top of bein' your big sister, I'm the element of Honesty too, so you can believe what I say. It's just magic, and that's all there is to it. Don't see why it's such a fuss, really."
"But that don't tell me nothin'! What's the big secret? You think I'm too young to know?" The yellow filly stamped a forehoof. "Well, I'm not! I'm a big girl, and... and... a Crusader... and I'm old enough to handle the truth!"
"Never said you wasn't, hon. Now look, every little filly or colt goes through this. There's just some things you got to accept about what we are as ponies, and this is one of 'em. 'Tain't no mystery, it just is, and that's the way of it."
"But..."
"You see them orchards out there?" Applejack said, pointing with a forehoof. "They ain't gonna buck themselves. I got work ta do, hon, and I cain't stand here jawin' with ya all day. I told ya what's what, and you've just got to make your peace with it. Now go on, get along with ya!"
"Grrr...!"
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Scootaloo stared at Rainbow Dash in astonishment.
The cyan pegasus was wearing her "cool" shades and lounging comfortably on a fog-cloud parked six inches off the ground. "Yep! That's the whole sordid truth of it, Squirt!" Rainbow said. She extended a forehoof and examined it, with an air of smug knowledgability.
Scootaloo made a face. "No offense, Rainbow... but that's just complete malarkey!"
"What?" Rainbow lifted her glasses in surprise.
"It's the same answer we've been getting from everypony else!" The tan pegasus filly crossed her forehooves in annoyance.
"Yeah, well, that's how it is. It's just..."
"... magic! Yeah, I know! So everypony says. But what does that mean?"
"Hmmm..." Rainbow looked thoughtful. "I could tell ya, but... given I don't really know item one about how it works myself, I'd just be making a bunch of stuff up. You know what you should do? You should go talk to the expert on the subject."
"Really? Who's that?" Scootaloo asked eagerly.
"Twilight Sparkle."
Scootaloo stared, in utter disbelief. "You're kidding me. Twilight? The librarian?"
"Absolutely!" Rainbow nodded. "No pony knows more about it than she does!"
"Uh... huh..."
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
"Hi, girls!" Twilight said, on opening the door of the Golden Oak Library and finding Sweetie Belle, Apple Bloom, and Scootaloo standing on the doorstep with uncomfortable looks on their faces. "What can I do for you? Are you looking for more things to try in order to get your cutie marks?"
"Hey," Scootaloo whispered, "what if we got our cutie marks in..."
Apple Bloom hoofed her quickly. "Not now, Scoot!" Then she looked up at the librarian. "Um, Twilight? We just wanted to ask... where do little foals come from?"
"Oh, that!" Twilight smiled. "It's just magic!"
The Crusaders groaned in three-part harmony.
"Aw, come on, Twilight!" Apple Bloom went on. "That's what we keep gettin' told! And it ain't tellin' us nothin'!"
"Yeah!" Sweetie Belle groused. "We feel like we're being treated like little fillies who can't handle the truth! And we're fed up with it!"
Scootaloo tried a more reasonable approach. "Rainbow said you might be able to tell us more," she suggested. "She said you knew all about it."
"Oh, well! As much as any pony does, I suppose. C'mon in."
The three fillies trotted after her into the main room of the Library, and waited while the lavender unicorn rummaged around in the work shelves located behind her desk. "Aha! Here we are!" She held up an ancient spell-tome in the magenta gleam of her magic. With a quick snap of power from her horn, she flipped the book open and paged through it. "See? The spell's right here."
The Crusaders craned their necks to look:
"Ad... face-err... eee-cue-lee-umm..." Apple Bloom attempted, looking at the spell's title.
"Ad Facere Equuleum," Twilight rattled off easily. "It's written in old Ponish, so it doesn't roll off the tongue that easily. I've heard there have been attempts to produce a revised edition of the spell in modern speech, but no luck so far. They keep leaving something out. So everypony sticks with the tried and true."
"And... that's really all there is?" Apple Bloom said, amazed. "Just a spell out of a book?"
"Why, yes." Twilight shrugged, smiling. "What did you think it was?"
The Crusaders looked at each other. None wanted to be the first to try to describe the rumors they'd heard floating around the classroom. "Wayall..." Apple Bloom offered cautiously, "for one thing, that's not how the animals do it down on the farm, like!"
Twilight nodded understandingly. "That's because the animals and plants we look after are entirely physical entities. They're part of the physical instantiation of the thaumic signature of this dimension --"
"Uh, 'scuse me, Twilight," Apple Bloom interrupted. "But.. the what now?"
"Oh, I'm sorry! I mean they're governed by how the physical world works. So they have to reproduce by physical processes. Whereas ponies -- and dragons, too -- are thaumic entities. We're literally made of magic. So we use magic instead!"
"Oh..." Apple Bloom nodded. "That's why some parents start talkin' about the birds and the bees... and then say it ain't nothin' laik that!"
"Exactly!" Twilight nodded.
"But that can't be right," Scootaloo objected. "Just reading a spell? I mean, what happened before ponies had writing?"
"The spell used to be oral," Twilight replied. "Ahem... I mean, the spell that's written down now is a capturing of what was handed down, from generation to generation, by word of mouth."
"But... what 'bout before ponies knew how to talk?" Apple Bloom asked.
"Oh, we've always been able to talk," Twilight said. "It's part of our nature. It's one thing that distinguishes us from other creatures, having a common, symbolic language that's used for more than just signalling behavior. And some ponies, such as Fluttershy, have sufficient talent with speechcraft that they can understand the speech of other creatures as well."
"So you're saying," Sweetie Belle asked excitedly, "you just read this spell... and you get a foal?"
With her magic she snagged the book and quickly read the spell aloud:
In concordia, in caritate,
In domu parata,
Sit equuleus inter nos!
Then she looked around, doubtfully... and just a tiny bit hopefully...
"Very nice pronunciation!" Twilight complimented, smiling in amusement. "I see those spellcasting lessons Rarity signed you up for are paying off. But if it were that easy, Sweetie Belle, we're be up to our ears in foals! Ponies would be multiplying like parasprites!"
"So... how does it work then?" Apple Bloom asked.
"Well, you see, when a mare and a stallion love each other very much..." Twilight began, and then she laughed. "I'm having you on. It's a matter of patience, really. See, the spell needs to be spoken aloud, together, by the intended parents for every day of the eleven moons it takes for the spell to be completed. And if the parents forget, or get it wrong, even for a single day..." She shrugged. "Well, it's kind of a selection filter. It makes sure that parents only have a foal if they really, really want one, and intend to take good care of it."
"That makes sense." Apple Bloom nodded. "And it must be why pony parents always care so much about their children... if'n it takes that much effort to get started!"
"I suppose." Sweetie Belle still looked unconvinced. "But it seems like an awfully boring way to go about it. I mean, reading some dusty old spell together, for moons and moons?"
"Yeah!" Scootaloo added. "Doesn't that get really old after a while?"
Twilight nodded. "It would, if it wasn't for this other spell." Unlocking a cupboard behind the desk, she brought out another book, and flipping it open, she showed them the page -- with her forehoof positioned to hide the text of the spell itself. "Pro Voluptatem Legentium. It makes reading spells -- or indeed any specific book or text -- intensely pleasurable."
"Heh! Ah could sure use a spell like that," Apple Bloom said with feeling, "when Miss Cheerilee gives us our summer reading. She always assigns us doorstops it takes all summer to git through! Uh, no offense, Twilight!"
"Oh, this spell isn't something to mess around with!" Twilight warned. "That's why I keep it in the locked cupboard. In fact, it's normally kept from young fillies and colts until they're ready for it."
"Why's that?" Sweetie Belle asked.
"Well..." Twilight suddenly looked guilty. "Case in point, I came across the spell while I was studying for Celestia's School, annnd... I had a lot of dusty old grimoires to get through, and my parents didn't know enough to warn me against using it indiscriminantly..."
"Uh oh..." Scootaloo whispered, suddenly getting it.
Twilight glanced around herself, at the rooms and rooms in her Library, chock-full of bookshelves.
And grinned sheepishly.
"I might have overdone it, just a little bit..."
The End
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, its characters and indicia are the property of Hasbro.
No infringement is intended. This story is a work of fan fiction, written by fans for fans of the series.
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heh, well that's interestingly silly. Good worldbuilding working from a kid show premise.
And yes, I imagine that would make quite the IMPRESSION on a young Twilight. It explains so much really.
No wonder Bookhorse books so much...
(Also, I personally use the fact that humans are born abnormally early in our gestation to waive the two-month increase for horses, but the reasons for that don't apply without the normal reproductive processes. I also point out that the candy-cane-based estimates of pony height combined with typical equine proportions end up with them noticeably, ahem, larger, but not enough so to make the act impossible)
"Your Ponymon had an egg! We don't know how it got there, but they had it."
Fascinating concept for pony reproduction, and a hilarious bit of Twilight backstory. Thank you for it.
That explains so much about Twilight. An interesting read.
Pretty fun read.
Of course, it directly contradicts what Lauren Faust said about how ponies actually reproduce, but I guess it’s more interesting (and more fun) this way.
9751634 Hey, eggs are legit methods of alicorn reproduction.
"Hey Twilight! Why did you lock yourself in the bathroom again?"
"Go away, Spike!"
"And where's that big pile of books that was on your desk?"
"Go away, Spike! Shoo!!"
MAGIC!
Because I can't help but be that guy...
Ad Facere Equuleum
In concordia, in caritate,
In domu parata,
Erit equuleus inter nos (although I would also accept Sit equuleus inter nos)
Pro Voluptatem Legentium
(And translations for the curious)
To Make a Foal:
In harmony, in affection,
In the house prepared,
There will be a foal among us (or with the other version, Let there be a foal among us)
For the Pleasure of Readers
One theory why Twi loves books I suppose.
9752109
Thanks -- my Old Ponish is a little rusty. I've tweaked the spell text as you suggest.
"Pro Voluptatem Legentes" was actually meant to be "For Pleasure of Reading", but I think I'll go with your revision using "readers" instead... the gerund "lectio" didn't sound right when I was coming up with this, since it suggests "lecture" rather than "reading". (One of the goals here was spell text that sounds good to Anglo-Saxon ears, and latinate roots and endings don't always cooperate!)
Really amusing take at the old question of, 'where do little magical ponies come from?'
Great work.
So Twilight accidentally gave herself her fetish? Sounds legit.
Also means that in a sense, she's a shameless exhibitionist. How lewd.
9751716
How was that?
And here I always thought they just appeared when a human drew and animated them. Heh. Should have figured it was actually magic all along.
9753344
Well, what if the meta-effect of Ad Facere Equuleum is to cause the animators to begin drawing and naming a new pony? (Like what happened with Derpy, or Time Turner?) Who exactly is manipulating whom here?
Amusing. But I found it rather sad. Sex is something sacred. A version of humanity without sex just feels wrong.
9753468
Perhaps this mans that while ponies do have sex, it isn’t part of reproduction? That eliminates the “unwanted foal” problem and makes it an experience purely of sharing, vulnerability, and intimacy.
And one still powerful enough that it starts rumors around the schoolyard...
9753494
I would hope so. But it's still sad. Without the link to having kids: Sex becomes less romantic. There's something really beautiful about the link between sex, love, and family.
I swear, my mind puts the cover art of your stories together with your handle as a caption and turns out something very dirty more than half the time.
cdn-img.fimfiction.net/story/dvpm-1560431059-441805-full
"Let's do this!"
This and this are two of the biggest ones.
9752940
From her DevArt page.
Not at all what I was expecting.
But the logic works surprisingly well.
The question is, does it work with 2 males or 2 females? Or does it have to be a male/female couple?
9753807
Well, Twilight only referred to a couple... so... that would imply any couple, wouldn’t it?
9753807
9753860
Yes, I was intentionally ambiguous on that point, just to be open-minded and leave the possibility open. Though in a story this short I couldn't take it much further than that.
9753728
... which was in response to someone asking whether ponies reproduce by budding, so I wouldn't feel strongly obliged to count that as show canon.
9753368
I don't even know if I'm real or not! Mind = Blown
This works surprisingly well in explaining some things about Twilight.
A fun little story and take on the kids' show setting and the old "where do babies come from" chestnut.
9754526
Thanks much, S-C -- that was kind of my goal in writing this: basically flipping the usual trope of "omigosh the Talk, we're so embarrassed!" on its head, and turning it into an E-rated, tongue-in-cheek short. With Twilight and the CMCs, both of which are fun to write for.
9753468
But...they aren't human in the first place.
9755746
Sure they are. The Ponies are living beings, and they are not plants or animals. They're men.
If having two legs, two arms, etc., is what makes us human: Gorillas and lemurs would be human. But gorillas aren't human, they're animals. So that's not what makes us human. What makes us human is our minds, our ability to use language, etc. The Ponies possess that too. Therefore: Ponies are people, not animals.
In short: Ponies are not animals, any more then we are. Yes, they're technically horses. But we're technically apes.
9756415
Being a person isn't the same as being human, though.
My question is where did the reproduction spell originally come from, if they're a purely magical species? Or is it something they just 'knew?'
9756422
Well, that depends on context. If by "human": You mean "member of the species Homo sapiens", then the Ponies don't qualify.
But I don't fully qualify either! I'm probably a small part Homo neanderthalensis (i.e. Neanderthal). The Neanderthals did interbred with the ancestors of modern Europeans. Europeans (and Americans) today have a small amount of Neanderthal blood.
If by human, you means "humans vs animals": I think it's pretty clear that the Ponies fall into the category of "human", not "animal". In that context, the terms "person" and "human" mean the same thing.
9756438
I was referring to species, yes. We're apes, they're horsies. I don't think person and human mean the same thing. By that logic, every sentient lifeform is human. Which is very anthrocentric, because THEY certainly don't call themselves that.
Impeccable grammar. Nice!
Hmm. I see what you did there. Wish the intention to love and care for one's offspring came to every parent who had them, as it would certainly be a kinder world that way.
9756442
“Human” is an English-language term. Only people who speak English (or some related language, with the same word) call themselves “human”.
Honestly: I think you've been influenced by Star Trek, and it's idea of what the terms “human” and "species" means. I could go on a rant, about how Star Trek gets those terms wrong. But that wouldn't be very relevant to this fanfiction. So if we're going to continue this conversation, we should probably continue it in PM.
9756464
It kind of does. People instinctively care for their kids. Problem is: Some people are selfish, and want to hurt others. And that can overpower the instinct to care for one's kids.
9756532
It is true that the instinct to care for one's young is a natural thing, of this I am quite aware. I said 'intention' as opposed to 'instinct'.
9756423
In the beginning, there was the Word... or perhaps we fall back on the old-time religion standby of the Uncaused Cause (e.g. the Uninvoked Spell?) Which came first, the pony or the spell? How many Twilights can dance on the point of an animator's pen? It's ponies all the way down...
Had enough? There's lots more where that came from...
9756464
I had a truly remarkable grammatical blunder to commit here.
Unfortunately, this story was too short to contain it...
9754001
Probably leans into "word of god" territory a little, but certainly can't be claimed as canon. The most the show's ever given us is that pony babies exist, and they're fed from bottles like humans.
I don't mind accepting it though. Both because it makes sense, given that they're based on mammals, and because it makes things easier for parts of my own headcanon.
9754001 9756773
“Canon” is basically a guide for the writers. It means “Mr. Writer. Here's the established lore we're giving you. Try to go along with it, and not contradict it”.
So is it canon? Short answer: If the writer's accept Faust's statement, as part of the lore that they're going to go along with, then it's canon. If they don't, then it's not.
Well, this is a first for me.
Ponies don't engage in ahem coitus because they're made of magic.
I do wonder how a creature made of magic can be so physical, though. Also, what exactly happens when the spell is completed is interesting.
Ah, there it is!
Wait, so Twilight's love of books comes from the fact that, as a filly in her formative years, she managed to spell herself to gain intense pleasure while reading books, and that left a lasting effect on her psyche?
Just found another headcanon to keep.
Nice semi origin story for Twis reading obsession. Least That’s what I took from it.
Hilarious!
I am getting a slight celestAI vibe here
Yup, def-o, like some others, I am also adopting this into my headcanon. (Though I keep several headcanon AUs separated, so they don't contradict eachother.) Thank you.
Such a simple and fun idea.
Personally, I find latin quite beautiful, and the words are more poetic.